CARNIVAL (The Spark Form Chronicles Book 2) (8 page)

              "So that's two empty corridors and five full of newbies," I say with a slight smile. I may have the mental equivalent of a game of ping pong on speed going on most of the time, but I'm actually quite observant.

              Most of the staff here are nameless to me. Well, nameless apart from the nicknames and general identifying roles I use to tell one from the other, but the point isn't that I haven't got a clue what most of their names are, but that I
do
usually recognise the staff. Or most of them anyway. Well, not the revolving door that is the wardrobe department, but the general security and maintenance staff are fairly consistent. One or two new faces wouldn't leap out at me, but given that every person we've come across has definitely, one hundred per cent, without a shadow of a doubt been a new person, alarm bells have started ringing.

              Carnival gives a nervous grunt, her eyes occasionally darting about as we walk. We figured out pretty quickly that they're most likely part of Lana and Finn's plan. We even tried a little idle conversation with each other to see if they'd react but all they did was keep doing what they're doing, whatever that may be.

              "Still feels odd, huh? Being watched like this isn't the same as being out on the field, is it?" I ask, and Carnival responds with a short, frustrated pant. I nod. "It's kinda nice though."

              Stopping dead in her tracks, Carnival gives a confused blink and watches me take a few steps forward before turning to face her with a big smile on my face. She tilts her head, finally ignoring the small group of definitely-fake-but-if-I-wanna-be-paranoid-maybe-on-the-off-chance-real-and-just-not-paying-attention-staff a few feet behind us, and waits for me to respond.

              "Normally, we'd have to be really careful when we're out and about together, even here. Right now though, we can just chill a bit. I mean, sure, I don't like being watched like this either. Oh, and there's the not knowing what Lana and Finn have planned or how these sneaky observers play into it. Plus, the format of today means that we don't really have much time to come up with ideas for what could happen or how to combat it. But at least we don't have to hide. We can walk, talk, do whatever and not have to worry about who's going to catch us."

              Carnival opens her mouth to respond but nothing comes out. After a moment, she drops her muzzle and looks away, her mouth still open and eyes deep in thought. I step forward and she lifts her head again.

              "Whatever happens will happen, we can't escape that. And yeah, if I'm being honest with you, I
am
scared, and I'm panicking because I don't know what I'm supposed to do or say to make sure that when that whatever happens, it doesn't end up with you being taken ..." I sigh. "I'm pretty sure they don't want the Colonies knowing about you, so they'll be careful to make sure that any witnesses are on their payroll. We'll be outnumbered no matter what we do, but at least we won't have to hide ourselves away and that makes it a lot easier to face things down. We can do that," I say, stepping forward again and taking her hands in mine. "
We
can do that."

              Carnival's hands tighten on my own but quickly loosen again as she regains her composure, her lightly swishing tail and the almost unnoticeable ripple that runs down her ears being the only signs that she hasn't really done so. She lets out a single pant that almost sounds like an exasperated laugh, then closes her eyes and brings her forehead to mine, turning her face awkwardly to the side to make up for her otherwise inhibiting snout.

              After rubbing her head against mine, Carnival pulls away again and stretches nonchalantly. With a cheeky grin, she turns back to our Emblem endorsed shadows and blows them a hearty raspberry, then immediately resumes our journey towards the entranceway, leaving me to dash to catch up.

              "I tell ya though," I say, "even with all this stuff going on, facing Connor Ford is like a dream come true for me. He really was my hero growing up." Carnival responds with an unimpressed growl and I laugh. "Be nice. Hey, I wonder if he's already there? I bet he is. Oh, remember, no costume change until he's already entered. We've gotta leave him as little time as possible to adjust."

              Carnival yips happily.

"You think you've got me, don't you, you little bastard." I laugh to myself, marvelling at how young my voice suddenly feels as it echoes around me. "Fool."

Oh, he's achieved what he wanted, there's no doubt about that. He's forced my hand. After that little video of his, I had to set Blood Lust in place or I'd look like I was backing down, afraid that he had a counter in mind. I laugh again, this time out loud. "Of course he has a bloody counter strategy or he wouldn't have tried goading me, would he?"

I'll give him his dues; he knows how to play. And play well at that. He's a strange boy though. He goes out to win, that much is clear, but his eyes aren't hungry. Which means that, regardless of what I said in the interview, it's not the glory that he's after. "So what does he bloody fight for then?"

I look down at the Data Wick on the floor by the door to the entranceway, the red standby light flashing at regular intervals, lightly illuminating the scrapes and slight cracking on the casing that gives away how well used the thing is. Resting on top of it, the Mobile Loader those idiots found at the storage facility for me is equally as broken down in appearance, the colour almost stripped away from it.

A smile creeps slowly across my face. I may not know what Forrester fights for, but I know what
I
fight for. I will die this day and do so wielding battle worn weapons in one last great hunt for glory. Then my love you will see me again, just as you did the first time that you laid eyes on me. A warrior, shining brighter than all others, dragging the world kicking and screaming along with me as my tale reaches its final chapter.

"Someone looks happy."

"I see that you brought your pet," I spit, turning my head to face my opponent and his furry shadow. I shoot them both a malicious grin. Even knowing that the beast to his left has no capacity to appreciate the gesture, I still gain some satisfaction from it. "Like lambs to the slaughter."

He laughs and says, "Come on Connor, you know it's not going to be that easy, right?"

"And
that
is why you will lose," I snap. "Easy? Hard? I have never given any thought to what sort of battle lays ahead of me boy, not once. When you keep your eyes set ahead with nothing but your goal in mind, all battles are equal. Count yourself lucky that you rarely face anyone of note. Starchaser is the only one that's given you any trouble the last few years because she's the only one that comes here with a bloody goal."

"Yeah, Fahrn's fun," he replies, that stupid bloody grin covering his face. "She's not unbeatable though. I can't think of a single person who is."

The lights above the door to the entranceway start flashing and the quiet alarm that signals the start of the show starts to fill the room.

"Well, at least you've realised that much," I sneer, grabbing my borrowed Mobile Loader and pushing Jariah's card in. The Data Wick light goes green and the machine slowly floats up in front of us, the warmth of the air around it hitting me instantly and causing a light ripple on my robe as I turn back to Forrester. Without the added effects of the arena introductions, the image of my chosen Spark Form appears quickly around the Wick's metal casing, leaving the towering Vulthera to stand ready behind me, her mock breathing accompanied by short growls. "All can be beaten, and all can be upstaged, remember that."

I turn to the door, but stop myself advancing. Some things need to be done, just in case. Without looking back, I growl, "I should thank you Forrester."

"Thank me? Why?"

"Because boy, I. Am. Alive," I roar and step through the door, Jariah following calmly behind me.

              "Hmm? Didn't I explain that yesterday?" Hong Chan asks, trying to reach the manual switches at the side of the TV. We hadn't realised that the remote control was missing until we actually tried to look for it.

              "Nuh-uh," I say with a shake of my head. "I just kinda thought that John Forrester and Connor Ford are so good that ... you said that if they over-run we'll probably just go straight into the match with Fahrn. If the Doctors are still checking them then won't we be in the way?"

              "There we go," he says, stepping back with a smile and sitting down next to me. "There shouldn't be any problem with anyone getting in the way. There are three rooms that lead to the entranceway."

              "There are?" I ask, suddenly feeling very stupid. I should know something like that.

              "Sorry," Hong Chan replies, his apologetic tone giving away that he's spotted how dumb I feel. "It must have slipped my mind to explain that. Didn't you ... no, actually, with Dorian doing his walk-out thing I guess you wouldn't have needed to ask where he was when the med team were with you."

              I shake my head.

              "What normally happens is that both competitors take the same room before they enter, then get syphoned into separate rooms when they come back after the match. It's rare that people end up in the same room, unless there's a miscommunication or something goes wrong." Hong Chan pauses and starts clicking his tongue while he thinks something through. After a moment, he nods and continues, "Actually, I should probably mention that just in case. Something happened to Connor Ford yesterday. I'm not sure what exactly, but he ended up in the same room as Lana after their match."

              "Is that bad?" I ask.

              "Not necessarily. I mean, The Surge can do odd things to you, so if they'd had any major issues then it could have made them seem worse. In this case though, the worry with Connor was that he collapsed. He probably ended up in there because he was disorientated after the match. John Forrester will likely push him further than Lana did, so if something like that happens again ... try to be prepared. After yesterday, they'll keep a closer eye on him, but you never know."

              "Do you think he'll be OK?"

              "Yeah, tough as old boots that one," he says with an awkward smile. He's worried about Connor but he doesn't want me to know, probably so it won't panic me. I'm getting better, but I'm still being a burden.

              My head drops. "Why do you put up with me?" I say, my voice quiet. Even before I say anything else, there's a voice in the back of my head berating me for being selfish enough to put him on the spot.
You're throwing his kindness back in his face
, it screams, but I continue anyway and once I start, I can't stop myself, even as I feel myself throwing my anger at him. "You always try to protect me, even when I'm just being stupid. And I always make you feel like you need to do it. Like then. You knew that I'd probably panic about Connor being hurt and you tried to make it seem like it was nothing so that I'd be OK. You used to say that you hated lying, but I keep making you need to so that you can stop me from doing anything that will make me beat myself up even though you
know
that I do it anyway.

              "You help me, you've always helped me, but I still make you do things that you shouldn't have to and make you act like a person you don't want to be just because I can't let myself believe that I'm worth saving. Why do you even bother trying? Why is Fahrn even tying?"

             
Idiot
, the voice in my head says. Hong Chan says nothing. All he does is stare, the shock etched across his face like a scar.
Idiot
, says the voice again, and I say, "Idiot. I'm a stupid, selfish, worthless idiot."

              "You sound a lot like the girl that Fahrn described," Hong Chan replies finally. "You can push Meera, but I won't leave. After she left last night, you said that you felt guilty about how things had ended with you and Fahrn last time, and that you felt bad that you couldn't remember any of it. This," he says, with a theatrical flick of his wrist, "is why I bother. It's why Fahrn bothers. You've done bad things Meera, more than either of us knew when you first found me, but you're not a bad person. You care. You hurt. And no matter what you think, you fight on. You keep moving forward even when you don't realise that you're doing it. Look at what you just did. There was a time that you wouldn't have dared shout me down like that. You'd have just kept it all bottled up, hurting yourself more and more because that's what you think you deserve. And as for not being worth saving? You're still here Meera. You came through that Hell and you're still here, scars and all. You need help, but you don't need saving. You already saved yourself when you found ways to keep living."

              I want to cry but I can't find the tears. Even after shouting at him, he's still trying. Even after all I did to Fahrn, and Maria too, they're still trying. The only one not trying is me. And why? "I'm scared," I say, sadly. "I'm still scared. You ... everyone is helping me but getting better scares me."

              "Change is scary Meera. But it doesn't have to be a bad thing."

              "I think the show's starting," I say, turning back to the TV and kicking myself some more for my cowardice.

              Hong Chan sits in silence for a moment then says, "I need the toilet. Give me a shout if the match is about to start before I'm back, OK?"

              I nod.