Carol Ritten Smith (21 page)

Beth blushed. “Oh … no … you dance fine … really. It’s not that. It’s my shoes,” she lied, “I’m afraid they’re too small.”
More likely your feet are too swollen from him stepping on them.

“Den perhaps ew vish to sit for a vile?”

And have Tom descend upon me like a fly on raw meat?
“No, I would rather keep dancing. It’s been so long since I’ve been to a dance, and we’re doing so well together.”

Lars beamed at Beth. “Yah, I tink so, too.”

• • •

Tom stole a glance at the banjo clock at the front of the classroom. It was nearing midnight, and soon the women would be bringing out the lunch and the dance would be over. The only one he had yet to dance with was Beth. He decided Mary’s plan had failed. Beth was no more receptive to the idea now than she had been earlier. Frustrated, he headed for the cloakroom to get his coat. The fiddler announced it was time for the Sunset Reel, and everyone clapped. Tom paused, debating if he should give Beth one more try. It was a long shot, but what had he to lose? With long determined strides, he approached her.

• • •

Beth saw Tom closing in from one direction, Lars from another. Deciding her feet had taken enough abuse for one night, and she’d rather dance with a rattlesnake than with Tom, she turned to Earl standing nearby and announced, “I’ve been looking forward to a dance with you all evening, Earl.” She dragged him by the arm onto the dance floor.

“Well, if that don’t beat all!” Mary said when Tom joined her. “Beth got Earl up to dance, something I haven’t been able to do in years.”

“Given the right incentive, she can be very persuasive.” Tom held out his arm. “Shall we?”

She smiled. “Let’s.”

For the Sunset Reel, the men stood in one line with their lady partners opposite them in a second line. Tom and Mary took their respective places just as Bert Parker began to call to the music, “Lead couple bow and do-see-do, down the line and away you go.”

The end couple nearest Bert was the lead couple and they followed the caller’s instructions. With a series of turn-throughs with those in the line, alternating with partner-swings in the middle, they worked their way down to the column’s other end.

“Make an arch, make a steeple, couples turn to thread the needle.”

The lead couple joined hands to form an arch while the couple at the opposite end folded to skip between the two rows. They in turn were followed by the next couple and so on until all had ducked under the arch and circled around the outside to form a new column.

“Clap your hands, clap your knees, give your partner a great big squeeze.”

That completed a series of moves ending with a new lead couple. Soon it was Mary and Tom’s turn to lead the reel, and they worked their way between the two lines. When Tom turned with Beth, he executed a quick trade, leaving Mary in Beth’s place and taking Beth with him down the line.

• • •

It all happened so fast, Beth was momentarily confused. By the time she realized what had transpired, it was too late. Like it or not, she was Tom’s partner. And she did not like it at all! When they held hands to form the arch, she glared at him.

Tom returned a smug smile.

Ooh, he thinks he’s so clever.

The dance continued, and when it was time to give their partners a great big squeeze, Tom hugged Beth tightly and whispered, “We need to talk,” before releasing her.

Beth had no time to reply for immediately another lead couple was dancing between them, but she had a caustic rebuttal prepared for the next time they sashayed down the column and under the arch. Only Tom beat her to it by whispering, “I’m sorry, Beth. Forgive me.” And then they were separated again.

Beth found it infuriating to be subjected to this one-sided, disjointed conversation. On their last time through the column, Tom grasped firmly onto her hand and led her directly out to the cloakroom. He shooed a couple of boys back into the classroom, and closed the door.

“What are you doing?” she demanded when they were alone. “We can’t just walk out in the middle of a dance.”

Tom shrugged. “They won’t miss us. Besides, if you weren’t so stubborn, I wouldn’t have to be so devious.” He grinned, displaying no remorse.

“This is ludicrous. What will people think, you dragging me out here like this?”

“They’ll probably think I couldn’t wait to give you your Valentine’s kiss.”

Beth’s heart lurched at the thought of Tom kissing her again, which made her just as vexed with herself as with him. “Not on your — ” she began, but Tom raised his finger to his lips.

“Shhh. Careful. If they hear you, they’ll think we’re having a lover’s quarrel.”

Lovers! Never!
She grabbed her coat from the heap on the table, shoved past him, and bolted outside.

It was snowing, big flakes falling like bits of torn paper. Tom followed her. She heard his muffled shout of surprise as he slipped on the steps and went down. She ignored him, yanking on her coat as she stormed across the schoolyard.

“Beth, wait!” Tom ran after her.

She glanced over her shoulder and yelled, “Leave me alone.” She quickened her pace, holding her coat shut against the cold and the snow, hurrying to outdistance him.

“Slow down, or you’ll hurt your ankle again.”

“Don’t tell me what to do, Tom Carver!”

She got to her house and slammed the door, only to hear Tom throw his shoulder against it. Beth, no match for his strength, jumped back and the door crashed open. Tom burst through, then kicked the door shut behind him.

It was pitch dark inside the small house. The only sound was their angry breathing. Finally Tom said, “Well, are you going to light the lantern or not? We need to talk.”

From the darkness, Beth snapped, “We have nothing to talk about!”

Cursing silently, Tom felt along the wall until he located the lantern, fumbled with the matches in the adjacent tin box, and lit the lamp. At least now he could see her, though she was on the far side of the room with her back to him.

Anger and frustration surged through him and he reminded himself that he could make things worse if he didn’t watch what he said. He dragged in a deep breath and started again, far more quietly. “Beth, please. Let me explain.”

She harrumphed in response.

He hadn’t expected her to make it easy for him. But maybe if he explained why he had behaved like an idiot she might consider forgiving him. “Lewie and I have some bad history between us and I let my opinion of him cloud my better judgment.” She offered no response. “I know that doesn’t excuse my behavior,” he continued, “but I truly am sorry.”

If only she would turn to face him, but she didn’t, not even when she said, “You practically blamed me. Like it was
my
fault he wanted to borrow a book. You acted as if you were jealous.”

“Maybe I was. I don’t know.”

“But jealous of Lewie? That’s ridiculous.”

“I know, but love can make you do ridiculous things. You must know by now that I love you.” His words hung suspended in the room, as if waiting for a response that never came. “I’d do anything to take back what I said and did, but I can’t. The best I can do is promise it won’t happen again.”

Slowly, Beth’s head turned. “You love me?” she asked, looking incredulous.

“With all my heart.”

She shook her head. “But why? I’ve been nothing but trouble since the day we met.”

Tom smiled. “True, we have had our difficulties, but we’ve also had some wonderful moments. Good times or bad, Beth, I love being with you.

“You love me,” she whispered again. “Other than my parents and Davy, no one has ever said they loved me.”

Her admission nearly crushed Tom’s heart. “Ah, Beth. Come here.” He opened his arms.

She went into them willingly.

His arms, the size of stovepipes, came around her and her soft body slumped against him. Oh, that he could hold her in his arms forever. He wanted to provide and protect her. He wanted to love her and make love to her. He wanted to spend a lifetime making her happy.

His finger gently lifted her chin and he kissed her lips tenderly until he felt them part with a sigh. His tongue traced between them, lightly coaxing her to allow him further entry. She opened her mouth wider in invitation. His tongue probed fully inside and she moaned. He pulled her hard against him.

Their kiss lengthened and deepened. Their breathing escalated to hungry gasps. Their hearts thrummed in unison.

Tom’s lips pulled away. “Ah, Beth,” he whispered, “there’s more between us than either of us dare to admit.” Then he closed his mouth over hers again.

They lost themselves in each other. Their heads twisted this way, then that. Their impassioned kisses crushed and bruised their lips against their teeth. It was nothing either of them had ever experienced before, hot and urgent and needy. But even as a raging fire burns down to embers, eventually their passion abated to soft kisses.

Tom led her to a chair, then sat and pulled her onto his lap. She nestled her head against the crook of his neck and released a contented sigh.

“What are you thinking?” he whispered.

She didn’t answer right away. After a moment he heard her whisper, “I like it when you kiss me.”

Tom chuckled lightly. “Me too.” He hugged her closer.

Everything seemed so serene, so silent. Then as quietly as the snow falling outside, Tom whispered against the top of her head, “I love you, Beth. Please don’t ever doubt that. You have captured my heart as no woman ever has. You would make me the happiest man on earth if you would marry me.”

• • •

Beth’s heart dropped. Though her entire being wanted to say yes, she knew the desperate reality of her situation made marriage impossible. She pulled away from his embrace and turned in his lap to face him. “Tom, we barely know each other. You don’t know me.”

“What more is there to know?”

“A lot.”

“Then tell me,” he urged.

Dismally she rose and crossed to the window. Staring out at the flakes, she shook her head. “I can’t. I’m sorry.” She discreetly brushed away a tear.

Tom came to stand behind her and placed his hands lightly on her shoulders. “I’m sorry. I told myself to be patient, but my feelings are so strong, I can’t help myself. Beth, I need you in my life and I think you need me too. You have feelings for me. I’ve felt it in your kisses.” She bowed her head. “Maybe you don’t love me yet, but I’m positive you will. I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life. I’ll be a good and faithful husband to you.”

Yes, you would,
she thought
.
Tom was an honest man, a man of his word. A decent man like him would only hate her for what she had done.

“Is it because of the boys?” he asked.

Bewildered, she looked at him.

“You know I’ll take care of them. They can stay with us. The house is big enough or we can add on if need be.” He stroked her hair. “Just promise me you’ll at least consider my proposal. Please?”

She nodded slowly, only to appease him. “I’ll consider it,” she said, but in her heart she knew marriage to Tom was impossible. He knew nothing of her except the lies she’d told him, and she cared enough not to hurt him further by building a marriage on a foundation of deceit.

• • •

Later, in their houses at the opposite ends of Whistle Creek, Tom and Beth both lay awake, trying to make sense of their emotions and what had happened that night. Their thoughts ran parallel, yet separate.

Damn, why did I blurt out marriage?

Why did he have to ask me?

I should have known she’d say no.

If only I could have answered yes.

I was so wound up in my own feelings, I never considered hers.

There are more than my own feelings to consider. There’s Bill and Davy’s.

I frightened her, moving too fast.

I am so afraid to lose him.

But I can’t help it. I love her.

God help me, but I think I love him.

She will learn to love me, given time.

In time, he would grow to hate me.

Someday we will have a future together.

There can never be a future for us.

And we shall share more than kisses.

How will I manage without his kisses?

• • •

Days after his proposal, Beth’s emotions still wavered back and forth. She had fallen in love with Tom. She hadn’t wanted to, but it had happened. And she believed him when he said he loved her. But the problem wasn’t that he loved her. The problem was did he love her enough? She wrestled with that thought. If she married him and he found out later about her unlawful past, would he forgive her or would he end the marriage? Or worse yet, would he continue the marriage, despising her and every moment they were together?

Beth set her pencil on the kitchen table. She might as well give up on next week’s lesson planning, since concentration was as elusive as the answer to her dilemma. Could she dare marry Tom? Had she no brothers, Beth might have gambled her future on his love. But when she considered Davy and Bill, the risk was too much. They needed to maintain a low profile. As Tom’s wife, she would receive far too much attention and she would have to consider everything she said — to Tom and to the townsfolk. One slip-up and the entire sham would be exposed.

As much as her heart ached at the thought, she knew she would have to turn down Tom’s proposal. And if she couldn’t share her life with him, it would be easier if she never saw him again. No, she bemoaned, not easier, but wiser. She knew each time she saw him about town, her heart would clench.

It seemed her past would ruin every future aspect of her life. A single tear slid from the corner of her eye. With great effort, she stifled any further tears that threatened to come. Crying would not help her situation, no matter how good it might feel.

She considered her options and decided the smartest thing to do would be to leave Whistle Creek. She loathed the thought of uprooting Bill and Davy, especially when they were both doing so well here. It suddenly struck her that maybe she didn’t have to take her brothers with her. What would happen if they stayed behind and only she left? Bill would manage, but what about Davy? How could she possibly contemplate leaving him behind? He was so young and had already lost too many of his immediate family. No matter how she looked at her predicament, she couldn’t come to a single resolution that didn’t break her heart.