Carole Singer's Christmas (28 page)

‘Thank you and good night to you too.’

Carole opened the doors and switched on the lights. She threw her coat on a chair and made her way to the back of the hall where the scenery was still stacked and leaning against a wall. The heating would go off soon she realised but the hall held the warmth fairly well, so she should be okay for an hour or so.

She decided to work on one of the few remaining scenes left for her to finish. It was the one of Scrooge’s bedroom. She’d started it days ago but hadn’t liked the colours, so she’d left it to come back to. She’d only been working on it for about fifteen minutes when she heard the door open. She assumed it was Bert Threadgold coming back because, as usual, he’d forgotten something.

‘I’m back here Mr Threadgold. Did you forget something?’

The only answer was the sound of firm footsteps and they definitely weren’t Bert’s. She squeezed past the stack of chairs and poked her head around the makeshift stage. She was horrified to see Nick striding towards her with a look on his face more terrifying than that of any of Scrooge’s ghosts.

She stood her ground, pushed her shoulders back and stuck her chin out.

‘What are you doing here?’ she asked as calmly as she could, taking into account the fact that her heart was beating wildly.

‘I might ask you the same question,’ he said, rapidly closing the distance between them.

‘Why? It’s really none of your business where I am – or anyone else’s for that matter.’

‘That wasn’t a very nice thing to say to your mum, you know.’

Carole did know but she didn’t need him to remind her.

‘Again. None of your business.’

‘Well, I’m making it my business. Have you spent the day with Sebastian?’

‘Nick! It really is none of your business. You have no right to ask where or with whom I spend my days.’

‘Or nights comes to that. You spent the night with him, I hear.’

Her mouth fell open. That really did come as a surprise.

‘I don’t know who told you that but again, none of your business.’

Something in his eyes made her feel the need to keep him at a distance and she turned, adopting the pretence of indifference, and squeezed back past the stacked chairs.

‘I can’t believe you,’ he said. ‘I really thought you would come to your senses about Sebastian. It seems I was wrong.’

She turned back to face him. ‘Come to my senses! How dare you! You really don’t like him, do you? What have you got against him?’

‘Nothing. And it’s not a matter of liking him. I’m just surprised that you would give him another chance after what he did to you the last time, that’s all.’

‘And why shouldn’t I? Don’t you think that people deserve second chances? Everyone makes mistakes you know – even you!’

‘I agree. Especially me. Yes, everyone does make mistakes and everyone deserves a second chance but there are some mistakes that are just too big and sometimes they’re not really mistakes, they’re decisions made for a reason. Do you want to give him another chance to make the same mistake for the same reason?’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘He left you on your wedding day without telling you to your face and he went off and married someone else within a year.’

‘I know what he did! There’s no need to remind me!’

Nick had reached the stack of chairs and it stood like a barricade between them as they stared at one another.

‘I think there is,’ he continued a little more calmly now, as though he thought a more reasoned approach might have more effect. ‘You seem to have forgotten what that experience did to you.’

‘I haven’t forgotten, believe me, but unlike you it seems, I’m prepared to forgive people.’

‘I’m prepared to forgive people too, but I’d think twice before I gave them a second chance to break my heart. You know Mitsy’s saying, ‘Hurt me once, shame on you, hurt me twice, shame on me’. Do you know why he’s getting a divorce?’

‘Because he realised he’d made a mistake.’

‘After ten years?’

Nick may have sounded calmer but Carole was growing angrier by the minute.

‘Okay, it took him a long time to realise it but as soon as he did, he came back and as soon as we saw one another again, it was just like old times. What’s wrong with that?’

‘Nothing. It’s all very romantic.’

‘It is! He ... he even kept a jumper I knitted him with a reindeer on it. He wore it last night at the Christmas tree lighting ceremony. You wouldn’t keep something like that unless you really loved someone, and wearing it last night was very romantic. He’s ... he’s a very romantic man.’

She had no idea why the reindeer sweater had popped into her head but it had.

‘So you keep saying. Are you trying to convince me, or yourself? But I suppose I can see why you’d admire a man who is brave enough to wear a jumper emblazoned with a cartoon reindeer ... in public.’

‘Oh! And what’s wrong with that? You ... you had a Santa hat on! I really don’t see the difference. Besides, a man will do anything for the woman he loves.’

‘I agree. If he really loves her.’

‘What’s that supposed to mean? Are you now saying that you don’t think he loves me? Of course, he loves me. What makes you think otherwise?’

‘Have you actually asked him why he left his wife?’

‘Yes, I told you. It was a mistake.’

‘But what made him suddenly realise that? What made him leave now? Perhaps you should ask him.’

‘Why?’

‘Because I just don’t think he’s right for you. Ask him. Outright. And make sure he tells you the truth, not what you want to hear.’

‘And now you’re calling him a liar!’

‘I’m not calling him a liar. I’m just saying that some men will say things they think someone wants to hear. Especially, if it’s someone they say they’re in love with.’

‘Say they’re in love with? There it is again. You don’t believe he is, do you? Why not? What makes you such an expert on love? Why don’t you think he loves me?’

Nick smirked. ‘I’m not an expert on love, I assure you. If I were, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. And you’re asking the wrong man, Carole. You should be talking to Sebastian about this.’

‘Yes. I should. And I do know why he came here now but I’m not telling you. I don’t even know why I am having this conversation with you. Why you even came here this evening.’

‘Because I care about you, Carole. I ... I don’t want you to get hurt again. I don’t want you to do something else you may regret. I want you to be happy.’

‘Something else I ...! Oh, you mean other than sleep with him, is that it? You say you care about me but you don’t and all you do is lecture me and ... and judge me. Well, for your information Mr High and Mighty, I did not sleep with Sebastian last night. He asked me to but I said no. So I’m not quite the ... the tart you seem to think I am. And I didn’t spend the day with him today either. But I have no idea what makes you think you have the right to involve yourself in my love life anyway. Or why you’re so concerned about it. You say you want me to be happy but you haven’t the slightest clue as to what would really make me happy. If you did you’d ...’

‘I would ...? What is it that I would do to make you really happy, Carole?’

‘It ... it doesn’t matter.’

‘It matters to me. What is it that I would do? What should I do? What do you want me to do?’

He moved the stack of chairs out of the way as if they were sticks of firewood.

‘I ... I don’t know. I didn’t ... I don’t...’

‘Are you really sure you love him, Carole? I haven’t heard you say it?’

‘Yes I ... I’m not going to say it just for you to hear. It’s nothing to do with you. It’s none of your business.’

‘So you keep saying but I told you, I’m making it my business.’

He moved closer to her and their eyes locked. She felt the need to back away. Not from fear of him but from fear of herself. Of how she felt. Of what she might do. She backed herself up against the scenery she’d been working on.

‘Nowhere to go,’ he said, moving closer still. ‘Shall I tell you what I’d like to do, Carole? What would make
me
really happy? No, better still, shall I show you?’

Before she knew what was happening, his arms were wrapped around her, pulling her to him. He tilted her head back with his hand and stared directly into her eyes for a few short moments before his mouth came down on hers in a kiss so passionate that she felt her knees buckle. She threw her arms around him, clinging to him, pulling him closer, kissing him back as passionately as he was kissing her and she shifted her body so that she was pressed hard against him.

She could feel his longing and it matched hers. She tugged at his shirt so that she could slip her hand inside and feel his flesh against her fingers and it felt so good she actually moaned with pleasure. When his hand moved round and cupped her breast, she wanted to feel his hand on her bare skin.

The kiss grew more intense and as Nick began to undo the buttons of her blouse, she reached up and tore at them, all three popping off like little champagne corks. She tugged at the button on his jeans and pulled the zipper down with one quick movement, sliding her hand inside and touching him. He was rock hard and it sent a thrill of anticipation and yearning rocketing through her.

It obviously sent something similar through Nick because he moaned her name before kissing her even more deeply, more passionately. He undid her bra without any help and as his hand caressed her bare skin, she shuddered. She wanted him so badly she could think of nothing else. He fondled first one breast and then the other, replacing his hands with his mouth as his hands moved down across her stomach. He unbuttoned her trousers, slid his fingers inside and stroked her over her panties.

Unwittingly, she drew in a deep breath and let out a little squeal of both pleasure and surprise and it suddenly seemed as if someone had opened the door and let the cold, sobering December air in.

Nick stopped and his head shot up as his eyes met hers. ‘I’m so sorry!’ he groaned, his voice like course sandpaper scraping across her skin. ‘I ... I should never have started this.’ He shut his eyes tight, removed his hand from her trousers and pulled back from her.

‘W …what? W …why?’ she stammered, not quite able to catch her breath or to comprehend what had been happening but more importantly, why he had stopped. ‘I ... I don’t understand. Don’t you want me?’

He groaned. ‘Of course I do! I’ve never wanted anyone so much in my entire life.’

‘Then ... what’s the problem?’ Her brows knit tightly together as she tried to control the range of emotions running riot throughout her body. She wanted him so much, it hurt. It actually hurt.

‘Apart from the fact that we were about to have unprotected sex pressed up against a scene from the Christmas musical,’ he said, nodding towards the scene Carole had been working on of Scrooges’ bedroom, ‘we both seem to have forgotten that, not only are you living with one man, you’re engaged to another, if the gossip is correct. And you’ve just spent the last twenty minutes defending him. I think that puts me somewhere between a chimpanzee and pond life on the potential boyfriend scale. A quick romp in a fake bedroom may be fine for some men, Carole, but it’s not fine with me. And it shouldn’t be fine with you either.’

Her mouth fell open in genuine surprise. ‘And you’ve just spent the last twenty minutes telling me I shouldn’t be with Sebastian and that he isn’t right for me. Are you actually telling me off now for wanting to have sex with you? I don’t believe this!’

She tugged at her button-less blouse as tears of frustration and rejection stung her eyes. She wiped them away with the back of her hand and rapidly re-buttoned the top button of her trousers.

‘Carole, I ...’ His voice trailed off as he zipped up his jeans with a certain amount of obvious discomfort.

‘And don’t you dare presume to tell me what should and shouldn’t be okay for me! If I want to have sex with someone in a fake bedroom, quick or otherwise, I will!’

He reached out for her but she dodged his hand.

‘Carole, I’m sorry! For once in my life, I thought I could do what I wanted, instead of having to do what is right. But I can’t. It wouldn’t be fair to you or to me. Please understand. I–’

‘I understand!’ she said even though she didn’t and swept past him, heading for the door.

She didn’t look back when he called her name again, or when the sound of splitting hardboard echoed around the village hall. She just grabbed her coat and ran.

***

She managed to pull herself together by the time she reached the cottage. Taking a deep breath, she stepped inside and headed for the sitting room.

‘I owe you an apology, Mum,’ she said.

‘No, cherub,’ Sarah said before Carole got any further. ‘It’s my fault. You’re right. I’m sorry. You’re a grown woman. I just ... I just don’t want you to get hurt, that’s all.’ She stood up and took Carole in her arms.

‘I know,’ Carole said. ‘But I have to live my life the way I see fit. I have to make my own decisions. And I’ve made a decision. Well, more than one actually.’

‘We know dear,’ Mitsy said, sounding none too pleased. ‘Sebastian proposed again and this time you accepted.’

Carole eased herself away from her mother. ‘How do you know that, Gran?’

‘Sebastian’s been here looking for you. He’s just left but not before he told us the happy news.’

‘Just now? W ... was Nick here?’

‘No,’ Sarah said. ‘He left shortly after you. We wondered if he’d gone to look for you.’

‘He had. And he found me. If he’d already left, then how ...?’

She wondered what had made Nick say that he’d heard she was engaged. Clearly Sebastian must be telling people.

‘I suppose we should say, Congratulations,’ Mitsy said.

‘Oh yes! Congratulations, cherub.’

‘Thanks. But there’s no need. It’s going to be a very short engagement. And I don’t mean in a good way.’ She grinned as she saw the confusion turn to relief and pleasure on the faces of her family. ‘And let’s be honest. You hated the thought of it, didn’t you?’

‘Yes!’ Mitsy exclaimed. ‘You can do so much better.’