Caroline (22 page)

"At any rate, Kosci told me that it was discovered that she was a spy for the British all along. He hinted that Sacha may have even been the one who found her out. Can you imagine what that must have done to him? Their love affair was still young when she was caught, but you see she was spying on
him
! I heard that she was imprisoned or died; Nicky swears that he overheard our parents say Emily had been hanged! Mary Armstrong, a friend of ours, heard a rumor that Sacha was there at the time—forced to watch her die. It was after this horrible incident that he gave up spying for a time and joined Papa at sea aboard their privateer. He couldn't have lived out the rest of the war more recklessly than he did; it is a miracle he wasn't killed.

"Now, I couldn't say how much of this is true, for Sacha himself has never spoken a word about Emily to me. The mere thought of asking him strikes terror into my soul!" She laughed shakily. "So, you can see that though Sacha has always been something of a skeptic when it comes to true love,
now
his heart is hardened completely against seemingly innocent women."

Caro looked stricken as she tried to assimilate all that Natalya had said. The thought of Alec deeply involved with someone else—traveling alone with her!—was painful. She could scarcely get past that to the tragic ending of the story.

"But, no matter what this Emily did, she must have loved Alec!"

Natalya nodded matter-of-factly. "Of course she did. That's what makes it so sad."

"Well, I'm glad you told me," Caro lied huskily. "I only wish I had known earlier—perhaps it would have helped me resist him..." She groaned, pulling at one long curl until it hurt, and Natalya saw a spark flash in her brown eyes. "I swore that I would not give up my heart to him. He warned me the first day we met that he was no gentleman and I realized even then that loving him would be hopeless."

"Yet you couldn't help it. One can rarely control the heart with the mind, you know."

"I hate him for doing this to me!" she declared, tears spilling onto her cheeks. She felt as if flood gates had been opened inside her. "I cannot even control my own emotions. I blush constantly, I lose my voice, or worse, stammer like a schoolgirl. And he seems to laugh at me!"

Impulsively, Natalya moved next to Caro and hugged her. "It is good for you to talk about it, but not for long. We must fight this! We cannot let you sit about pining for Sacha. I intend to take you out to meet all my friends—we cannot wait until your ball. With any luck, you will be able to ease your pain in activity. And, who knows—you may meet the man who will make you forget my brother."

"I suppose you're right," she sighed. "I know that that is Alec's wish."

Later, as she and Molly galloped through the dry fields on their morning ride, Caro thought back to the days when she and Alec had been all alone in the woods. Each day seemed to take them farther and farther away from those happy times. The memory of the two of them riding together through the trees, laughing and teasing, seemed as unreal as a dream. How naive she had been, lying against him at night! And yet, there was a strange feeling in her heart that insisted it had all been real—and right.

The next month passed swiftly, and Caro found herself propelled by Natalya through a maze of activity. They went into Philadelphia nearly every day, visiting friends and planning Caro's ball. The entire staff at the Beauvisage house threw themselves into the arrangements, for with the family away they had little else to do. Caro was astounded by the number of details preparing for a party encompassed.

It was in early November that Danielle Engelman appeared for the first time. Natalya and Caro were sitting in the huge white kitchen, discussing the supper menu with Mrs. Reeves, the cook. It was a chilly, overcast day, and Caro felt uncommonly content as she sipped tea near the great blazing hearth. Suddenly the kitchen door swung open and a tall, striking woman with stylishly frizzed hair under a wide-brimmed green hat swept into the room.

"Whatever are you doing back here?" she inquired in a voice of authority. Caro cast a glance at Natalya, who was looking decidedly unenthusiastic over the newcomer.

"For your information, Danielle, we are making arrangements for a ball that Sacha is giving next month."

"A ball! Whatever for? Particularly with Maman and Papa away!"

"It is in honor of his ward, whom you see beside me. Caroline Bergman, may I present my married sister, Danielle Engelman."

It appeared that Danielle had heard nothing of the new developments in her brother's life. Immediately taking charge, she ordered Mrs. Reeves to have tea and cakes brought to them in the small parlor. Natalya and Caro followed in her wake as she glided from the kitchen, declaring that she wanted to hear "everything." Caro watched her, in her mind hearing Alec's voice saying, "Danielle is the only sane person in the family." She recalled the tone he had used, and decided he had not meant it as a compliment. It struck her as rather odd that she had been at Belle Maison all this time and had never met this older sister.

The teatime conversation lasted over an hour, and Caro could not dislike Danielle. She was pushy and snobbish, but Caro sensed that she was hiding behind this facade. There was something rather sad in the way Danielle asked casually for news, trying to appear unconcerned about her exclusion from the goings-on at Belle Maison. She spoke animatedly of her husband and their two children but it was obvious to Caro that she longed to be part of that bright magic circle formed by the rest of her family.

When at last she stood to put on her pelisse, Danielle looked hopefully at Natalya. "I insist that you let me help you girls plan this ball! Maman would want it. After all, I have much more experience in these things than you do, Natalya."

Natalya bristled under her sister's condescending tone, but before she could respond, Caro spoke up:

"I think that would be wonderful. We should be grateful for your assistance."

Danielle's face was wreathed in smiles as she bid them good-bye. The two girls stood in the doorway, watching as she was assisted into a grand coach.

"Whatever possessed you, Caro?" Natalya burst out. "Do you want that stick-in-the-mud hanging about every day?"

"But she's your sister!"

"Perhaps, but Maman says that Danielle somehow assumed the personality of her governess while she was a child. She always looks down her nose at Sacha and Nicky and me, so we just leave her alone with her horrid husband. He is more of a snob than she! Sacha has tried to be nice to her, but then she begins pointing out all his vices and he loses his temper all over again—"

"I feel sorry for her," Caro said quietly. "Perhaps it takes an outsider to see how desperately she wants to be one of you. Somehow she missed getting all that Beauvisage charm and spirit of adventure. Can't you see how it must have been for her growing up with all of you? She had to do something to salvage her pride, so she pretends to everyone that she is better than the rest of you. I think it is awfully sad!"

Natalya was listening in stunned silence. "Do you really believe," she asked, "that is the way it was with Danielle?"

"I'm certain of it. I am surprised that none of you could see it. Especially Alec. He has always seemed unusually perceptive to me...."

"Well, then, you see you were all wrong about him! He is terribly cold and unfeeling!"

"Stop trying to push me out of love, Natalya. If you don't mind, I believe I shall go out for a walk."

"Not alone!"

"Yes." Caro turned sharply, color flooding her face. "I am tired of being fussed and worried over. I feel smothered—and I miss Alec. Now, please leave me alone!"

She hurriedly donned her fox-trimmed pelisse and ran out of the house. Natalya looked as if she was about to follow, but thought better of it and reluctantly closed the door. Caro folded her arms across her breasts, putting her face down against the cold November wind. As she stopped on the corner of Spruce and Third streets, waiting to cross, a familiar blue-and-black phaeton came into view. Alec held the reins expertly and next to him sat a chilled-looking Lydia Chamberlain, her hands thrust into an ermine muff. She wore a vivid crimson pelisse, edged in ermine, and would have looked stunning if not for her sour expression.

Caro froze, wanting to duck out of sight but unable to move her feet. Alec was laughing over at Lydia in an apparent effort to coax her out of her temper. Her frown vanished quickly enough, however, when she spotted Caro standing on the footpath.

"Alexandre!" she cried maliciously. "There is your little ward! Do stop."

Alec's eyebrows drew together at the sight of Caro alone in the middle of Philadelphia. Reining in his team of perfectly matched grays, he leaned over Lydia to shout:

"What in God's name are you doing out here all by yourself? Where is Natalya, or that maid of yours? Have you lost your senses?"

It was the first time he had spoken more than two words to her in a week, and Caro felt her head spin in reaction. Bright patches of cold and emotion stood out on her cheeks as she cried:

"No, I have not lost my senses, but I expect to momentarily if I do not get some peace from you Beauvisages! Kindly confine your attentions to Mrs. Chamberlain and leave me alone!"

Her voice was quavering with barely suppressed tears as she turned and fled, her hood falling back as her honey-colored curls cascaded down her back. Alec was shouting, but she could only hear Lydia's words as she called: "So nice to see you, dear child!" in a poisonously sweet voice.

* * *

It was not to be the first time that Caro would see them together, although after that they were always inside a closed carriage. She had no trouble spotting Lydia's flaming hair; in fact, she came to be able to see it on a busy street filled with vehicles.

Caro's own relationship with Alec was rapidly deteriorating as November wore on. Occasionally, they met in the hallway, or he dined at home, but there were no more private conversations between them and he took great care never to touch her. Caro even gave up watching him in the mornings after he turned around one day in the middle of a conversation with the housekeeper and looked straight up at her window and into her eyes. She was convinced then that he had known she had been observing him all along.

Even though she was always busy, Caro's misery deepened. She still went frequently to Grandmere's for tea, but the old woman did not appear ready to offer her any solutions. She did, however, continue to drop hints that Caro found unsettling. Once, she commented:

"I feel that you are not happy here, Caroline. Perhaps you are approaching matters incorrectly?"

Then she closed her eyes in a way that told her the subject was not to be pursued.

To makes matters worse, Caro was meeting many admiring young men through Natalya. One of them, an earnest young Scotsman, was showing all the signs of hopeless love. His name was Everett MacGowan, and he was rapidly rising in the business world as a protégé of the financial wizard Robert Morris. He was intelligent, sincere, ambitious, and full of awed respect for Caro. Natalya declared him the ideal suitor, but Caro was alarmed by her own lack of emotion toward Everett. In fact, she was becoming apathetic about everything and everyone except for Alec, and her most consistent emotion where he was concerned was a dull, aching sadness.

By the end of November, all the arrangements had been made for Caro's ball, which would be held December sixth. On the afternoon of the winter's first snowfall, Natalya persuaded Caro to venture forth to choose their new ball gowns. They were dashing through the dense snowfall from their carriage to the dress shop door when Caro collided forcefully with a tall man crossing the brick footpath. Losing her balance, she sat down hard in the snow. Immediately, she felt two familiar arms lifting her up, holding her around the waist in a grip that made her tingle.

Looking up, Caro saw Alec's eyes burning into her own. His black hair glistened with snowflakes.

Neither of them spoke, and then a soft voice broke the silence: "Sacha, do let go of the young lady! What's come over you?" Caro saw a tiny blond girl at his side, reaching for one of his arms that held her own waist. Alec seemed to focus on the outside world for the first time, but he did not release her.

"It's all right, Mary. This girl is my ward." He looked back at Caro then. "You aren't hurt, are you? Where were you going in such a hurry?"

A glimmer of laughter touched his eyes, and Caro could feel Natalya pulling her away from him almost frantically.

"Mary is right, Sacha! Let go of Caro!"

His hands opened and she tottered back against Natalya, murmuring, "Of course, I'm fine. That was terribly discourteous of me. I am sorry."

"I accept your apology
,"
Alec replied with a mocking grin.

The little blond girl called Mary suggested that they take shelter inside the shop. "Sacha is so silly about running out in all sorts of weather. Every day is like an adventure with him!"

Caro's heart went cold, but she heard herself say in a strained voice, "Alec—I hope you do not mind—I was on my way to be fitted for a new ball gown. Natalya insisted that you would want me to have one, so—"

Frowning, he said, "She is absolutely correct. The fact is, I have already purchased it. It will be ready in time for the ball."

All three girls stared at him in amazement as he turned toward the door. "Coming, Mary?"