Carolyn Davidson (4 page)

She held the envelope in her hand, squeezing the bulk of it and watching him closely. His eyes were dark, but not brown, as she’d thought at first. They were a deep, deep gray, with just a few blue flecks around the edges of the pupils. Sometimes they were flat, hard-looking, like when he’d gone to talk to the boys about the dog, earlier today. Now they were softer, more vulnerable, as if he were hesitant to lay his life out before her, all stuffed in a envelope and waiting for her perusal.

“I’d like to know a couple of things, Mr. Montgomery.” She squeezed the papers, hearing the faint crackling of the crisp envelope.

“Do you think you could call me Tate after we’re married?” he asked quietly. “In fact, maybe you could start now.”

She bit against her top lip. “It’s unseemly for me to use your given name.”

“Try.” His eyes entreated her, and she looked away, settling her gaze on his folded hands instead. They were good hands. Strong and well formed, clean, with a tracing of soft curls across the back. She’d warrant his forearms were covered with the same brown hair. Her eyes closed as she recognized the drift of her thoughts. What was covered by his shirtsleeves was none of her business.

“Try, Miss Johanna,” he repeated, and she sighed, aware that he wasn’t about to give in on this matter.

“All right. I want to know how long your wife’s been dead, Tate.”

“A year and a half. She drowned in a spring flood.”

It was more than she’d asked, and somehow the thought of the unknown woman being swept away by rushing waters made her want to cry. She gritted her teeth against the
feeling and looked up at him. “It must have hard on your boys, losing their mother that way.”

“They’d been staying with her sister for a few days when it happened. Didn’t seem to cause much of a fuss over it, to tell the truth. But then, they were close to Bessie. That was her sister’s name, and she kept them for another week after it happened.”

Johanna felt a hollow spot in her middle expand and grow chill with his words. “Why were they with their aunt? Didn’t their mother want them home with her?”

He unfolded his hands, and her eyes were drawn to the movement. He’d formed them into two fists, and his knuckles were whitened, so hard had he curled his fingers into his palms. “My wife hadn’t been herself, hadn’t been feeling well.”

“She was sickly?”

He shook his head, and his gaze bored into her, impelling her eyes to sweep up the length of his chest, up his throat and chin, over his flared nostrils, and jam smack against the hard, cold look he offered her. “She had problems. She was unhappy with her life, and sometimes the boys bore the brunt of it Her sister…well, her sister understood, and when things got touchy, she’d come and get Pete and Timmy and take them home with her.”

“Was she mental?”

His mouth thinned, his teeth gritting together, and he moved his hands to the edge of the table, shoving his chair back and rising swiftly to his feet. “Do we need to discuss this now? I’d think it was sufficient for you to know that she wasn’t herself sometimes.”

Johanna shook her head. “No, I guess we don’t have to talk about it any more. I just wondered…”

“I’m sorry, ma’am. I didn’t mean to be rude. It’s just not my favorite memory. It happened, and it changed our lives. My boys need a mother. To tell the truth, I decided when I first laid eyes on you that you were strong and had
a clear mind and your eyes were honest and kind. And that’s what I was looking for for my boys.”

“You knew all that by seeing me out there by your wagon?”

He nodded. “I knew all that when I saw you come hotfootin’ it across the field between here and your orchard. Any woman who planned on hauling all those apples to the house had to be strong. A woman who’s been able to keep this place going obviously has a clear mind. And you’ve got the bluest, sharpest eyes I’ve ever seen on a person in my life. When you looked at my boys, the kindness just sort of shone through over your mad. Then, when you called me back, I knew it was because you’d seen how tired and antsy they were, riding on the wagon.”

“I like your children, Tate.” It had come easier this time, saying his name.

“You’re a born mother, unless I miss my guess. You should have been married with a bunch of young ones of your own before now.”

She stiffened, feeling the rigid length of her backbone as if it had been turned into ice within her. “I told you, I never planned on being married.”

“I won’t make you sorry you changed your mind, Miss Johanna.”

The words were spoken like a promise. Almost as if they might be a preface to the wedding vows they’d be taking before long. “I’ll not make you wait till tomorrow for my answer, Tate,” she said, her voice coming out strained and harsh-sounding, as if it belonged to somebody else.

He stilled, reminding her of a deer at the edge of the woods. She heard his indrawn breath, and then he let it out in a silent sigh. “You haven’t read the letters, Miss Johanna.”

Her movements were abrupt as she handed the envelope back across the table. “I don’t need to read them. Theodore Hughes read them and passed his approval. That’s good
enough for me. If we don’t start this out with a measure of trust between us, we’ll have a hard time later on. Maybe someday I’ll want to read them, but I think the fact that you offered without holding back is good enough for me.”

“You’ll marry me?”

“You’ve got a strong body and clean hands, Tate. You treat your boys well, and you come highly recommended, if my minister is to be believed. You told me I’d have my own room to sleep in, and I’m not afraid of you.” She took a deep breath and lifted her chin, eyeing him squarely. “I’m not afraid of hard work, either, but I’m mighty sick of it. I’ll tell you right now, I’ve toted the last crate of apples I’m going to. You can unload that wagon of yours tomorrow and go out to the orchard and do the honors. It’ll be fine to have a horse and wagon on the place again.”

“When can we marry, Miss Johanna?” His words were harsh, as if he were holding back a measure of emotion he wasn’t comfortable with.

“Sunday morning, after service, if that suits you.” She bit at her lip, suddenly aware of the step she was taking.

His hand snaked across the table and grasped hers, enveloping it within his. It was warm and a bit rough, callused across the palm. She was still, her fingers touching his warm flesh, unmoving, as if she were fearful of brushing his skin with her own. It was the first time she’d touched a man’s flesh in years. Except for when she’d helped to lay her Pa out in his Sunday suit for burying.

She felt the squeeze of his hand as he brushed his thumb over her knuckles, and she closed her eyes at the sensation of prickling heat the touch aroused within her.

“Miss Johanna, I’d ask that you treat me nicely when we’re around other folks. You know, like we’re really married. And if I touch you, or act friendly, you could…” He faltered as he searched for words.

“Act like this is a real love match? You don’t want people to think we’re not married in…in fact? Is that what you
mean?” Her cheeks bore a faint flush as she provided the words he’d sought. “That’s fine with me, Tate. I don’t think it’s anyone’s business what we arrange between us. I’ll take your arm when we go into church.”

He nodded. “I won’t ask for more than I told you this afternoon.” He released her hand and stood. “This is Friday night, Johanna. I’ll ride to town in the morning and tell your preacher he’ll be having a wedding in his church come day after tomorrow.”

“Good. You can take the eggs and butter into the general store for me while you’re at it, if you don’t mind. It’d save Mr. Turner a trip out if you’d take a couple crates of apples along for him to sell over the counter, too.”

He nodded his assent and turned to the doorway. “I’ll go settle down in the barn, then. It’s getting late enough for those boys to be in bed. We’ll wash up out back.”

She was halfway up the stairs when she heard a muted shout of childish laughter. She’d crossed her bedroom to the window when the sound reached her ears again. The two boys were in front of the barn, Timothy on the ground with the dog. Sheba’s tail was wagging to beat the band, and the boy’s hands were buried deeply in her ruff.

Johanna’s heart lurched in her chest as she watched, and the doubts she’d entertained throughout the evening vanished with the setting sun. It would be worth it to move to the sewing room, or even up to the attic. More than worth it to scrub a man’s work-soiled clothes again and cook three full meals a day for his consumption. She’d have children; finally, she’d know the feel of a soft, warm body and small arms around her neck. Timothy was young enough to need hugs.

Her gaze swung to the man who stepped through the barn door. And for a moment, she wondered what it would feel like to have that tall, muscular body close to hers, those strong male arms holding her.

Her mouth tightened, and she turned from the window abruptly. “You’ve been that route, Johanna Patterson,” she said aloud to herself, “and what did it get you but a lot of heartache? Settle for what the man offered, and count yourself lucky.”

“I
surely didn’t expect you’d be making your bedroom in the attic.”

Johanna’s breath caught in her throat as the deep voice cut into her thoughts. Her skirts swirling around her legs, she did an abrupt about-face, turning to seek out the man who was watching her. He was head and shoulders above floor level, his feet planted firmly on the attic stairs, one arm resting on the wide planking of the attic floor.

“Don’t creep up on me that way!” Johanna’s hand was at her throat, and her words were breathless, almost a whisper.

“I’m sorry,” Tate said softly. “I thought you’d have heard me calling you from the back door.”

“I didn’t hear you come in,” she answered, her hands sliding with measured nonchalance into her pockets.

His eyes slid from her to sweep the perimeters of the large, cluttered room, resting finally on the bedroom furniture that occupied one wall.

“What are you doing up here, Johanna?” he prodded, his forehead creasing into a frown.

“Moving things,” she said abruptly.

She’d begun by shifting an old dresser, and then, snagged by bittersweet memories, she’d opened one of the drawers.
The clothing inside was neatly folded, just as she’d left it ten years ago, still smelling faintly of her mother’s scented sachets. She’d lifted a soft, worn petticoat to her face and inhaled deeply, closing her eyes as they filled with unbidden tears, allowing the wistful thoughts to flood her being for just a moment.

Reluctantly she’d placed the garment back inside the drawer, her fingers lingering on the worn fabric as she set aside the remnants of her mother’s clothing. Wiping her eyes and blowing her nose ferociously, she’d gently closed the drawer.

And then Tate had interrupted her pondering with his blunt query, startling her into a rude reply. It was time to backtrack.

“I’m deciding about this bed.” She folded her arms about her waist, nodding toward the headboard she’d leaned against the dresser.

His eyes followed her direction. “What’s the problem? It looks to me like it’ll fit down that stairway just fine.”

A spark of defiance lit her eyes. “You don’t think the attic would be a proper bedroom for me?”

“I think I’d feel better about it if you slept downstairs with the rest of us.” His frown had somehow vanished as he spoke, a glimmer of amusement taking its place, crinkling the corners of his dark eyes.

“It’s just that it’s my mother’s sewing room I was thinking of using,” she answered obliquely, her hackles rising to meet his arbitrary reasoning.

He tilted his head, his smile gentle. “Your mother’s been gone a long time, Johanna. I doubt she’d want you to make a shrine out of her workroom.” He climbed the remaining stairs and walked toward her. “I’ll help you carry the headboard down if you’d like me to.”

“I know exactly how long my mother’s been dead, Mr. Montgomery. And if I want the bed taken down, I’ll do it myself, the same way I got it up here.” She’d stiffened at
his approach, and now her head tilted back, allowing her gaze to clash with his.

He was stooped just a bit beneath the lowering eaves, a tall man, used to allowing for his height. Now he reached out to lay a warm hand on her shoulder, bending even closer, until she could see the shadows beneath his eyes. “You don’t have to move furniture while I’m here, Johanna. If I’m to be the man of the house, I’ll do the heavy work.”

She held her ground, aware of his bulk, the masculine weight of his hand against her more fragile bones. Flexing the muscles beneath that pressure, she shrugged, as if to rid herself of his touch. It wasn’t worth the fuss.

“Suit yourself,” she said, dropping her gaze from his, her mind retaining the memory of his eyes and the shadows they contained. Perhaps he hadn’t slept well out there in her barn. Maybe his nights, like hers, were occasionally prey to demons that stole sleep.

“Will you need help making room for us in the house today?” he asked, releasing her and reaching for the heavy wooden headboard. “The boys are anxious to see where they’ll be sleeping. I think they’ve lost their appetite for roughing it.”

“They’ll be usin’ my old bedroom. It has a big bed in it. I suppose they can bring in their belongings as soon as I empty my things from the dresser and the wardrobe.”

“They’re pretty easy young’ns,” he said with a trace of pride. “They’ll be happy most anywhere, long as there’s something softer than the ground to sleep on.”

Johanna stepped aside, watching him lift the headboard with ease, carrying it down the stairs as if it were no heavier than a length of two-by-four. She followed him, her steps light, her house shoes silent against the uncarpeted stairs.

“Which room am I headed for?” he asked over his shoulder, shifting his burden to accommodate the corner at the foot of the attic stairs.

“The end of the hallway, on the right,” she told him, closing the attic door behind herself as she followed him down the wide corridor. She scurried past him quickly, opening the door to her mother’s sewing room, making way for him to follow.

He halted in the doorway and whistled softly. “Not a whole lot of space, is there?”

A paisley shawl caught his eye, its folds draped gracefully over a sewing machine in one corner. The black iron treadle below was angled, as if a feminine foot had left it only moments ago.

A wardrobe filled another corner, its doors closed snugly. A small dresser was tight against the wall near the door, a daintily crocheted scarf centered on its surface. Beneath the window, a worktable lay empty, not so much as a pincushion remaining in view. Obviously Johanna had not made regular use of her mother’s room. Either that or she was the neatest woman he’d ever met.

A faint scent, perhaps that of rose petals, caught his attention, and for a moment he felt another presence, as if the woman who had been the possessor of this space lingered still. And then the notion vanished as Johanna moved across the floor, her gaze measuring the walls and floor space.

“I think there will be room enough once the worktable and sewing machine are taken upstairs.” She turned to him expectantly, as if she awaited his opinion.

“Whatever you think, Johanna.” He’d already decided to be as obliging as he could. The house was her domain. The lines would be drawn soon enough when it came to the running of the farm.

“I’ll move most everything upstairs.” She spoke softly, one hand brushing at a speck of dust on the dresser. “This chest will be large enough for my things.”

“I’ll take care of the heavy stuff. Where do you want the bed to go?”

She started abruptly. “Oh! Here, put it against the wall. We’ll have to move the sewing machine and the worktable out first, won’t we?” Her fingers lingered on the surface of the dresser as she spoke. “I’ll empty out these drawers after a while.”

Tate leaned the heavy headboard against the wall and straightened. “Tell me how this table comes apart. I’ll carry it upstairs and bring down the rest of the bed.”

Johanna watched as he put one knee to the floor, leaning to peer beneath the table where long bolts held the legs in place. “My father built it for her,” she told him, moving to his side and crouching next to him. “He made it just like the one her mother had, back in the city. Shall I get the tools from the kitchen for you to use?”

He’d shifted to both knees, his hands already busy with the heavy nuts holding the bolts in place. “Your pa did a good job, I’d say. These things are tighter than an old-”

Johanna’s eyebrows lifted as he paused. “An old maid’s pucker?” she asked.

He ducked his head, backing out from beneath the table, a grin twisting his mouth. “Yeah, that’s what I was about to say. Then thought better of it.”

“I am an old maid, Mr. Montgomery. And not ashamed of it.”

“But not for long, Miss Patterson,” he reminded her, his grin fading as he took note of her somber expression. His jaw tightened as he recognized the faint uneasiness she sought to hide. Her hands were buried in the folds of her apron, her fingers no doubt clenched tight. Johanna Patterson was taking a big chance marrying a stranger, and it would behoove him to treat her with kid gloves, at least till the deed was done.

“If you’ll collect those tools for me, this won’t take long,” he said quietly. “I’ll be taking that ride into town as soon as I move these things for you. I’m sure the preacher’s looking for me to stop in to let him know what we’ve
decided to do. It wouldn’t look right for me to be staying here without making our arrangement legal.” Rising, he reached one hand to where she crouched beside him, silently offering his assistance.

Deliberately, carefully, she placed her fingers across his, watching as he enclosed them in the warmth of his wide palm, then tugged her with gentle strength to stand before him.

“You haven’t had second thoughts, have you?” His grasp on her fingers had not lessened, and now he raised them to rest against his chest.

Her eyes widened at the gesture, her heartbeat quickening just a bit. Tate Montgomery was a tall man, a big man, standing head and shoulders over her. He could have been intimidating, had he chosen to do so, but the hand that held her own was gentle.

She shook her head. “No, no second thoughts. And yes, if we expect him to marry us tomorrow, I agree that you need to deliver a message to Reverend Hughes right away.” Her mouth twisted wryly. “I don’t want to have the town talking. Heaven knows we’ll be giving them enough to gossip about tomorrow as it is. I’m not sure they’d even approve wholeheartedly of your staying here last night.”

“Well, I don’t think my spending one more night in your barn will ruin you beyond redemption, ma’am. I suspect everyone in town knows I’m here, anyway.”

She winced. “Yes, you’re probably right. They’ll be looking you over in grand style come tomorrow morning, Mr. Montgomery. Not to mention whispering behind their hymnals when we march down the aisle before morning service.”

His hand exerted just the smallest amount of pressure on hers, his eyes assessing her quickly. Fine wisps of golden hair curled at her temple, a smudge of dust provided mute evidence of her foray into the attic, and her cheeks were
brushed with a delicate rosy hue that gave away the conflicting emotions she was struggling with. “I’ll be with you, Johanna. The boys and I will march down that aisle with you, just like a real family.”

“I’m counting on that, Mr. Montgomery.” Her fingers wiggled a bit, and he freed them readily from their captivity.

“Last night I was Tate,” he reminded her. “What happened to turn me back into Mr. Montgomery?”

She turned to the door, resting her hand on the knob, hesitating at his query. “Nothing, I suppose. Tate it is. I’ll go and get the wrench from the kitchen for you.”

“I want to be in town by noon, Johanna. I’ll take the sewing machine upstairs now, and you can decide what else you want moved after you find the tools. If you call out for the boys, they’ll help you get the eggs and butter ready for me to take.”

“Yes, all right.” Her voice floated back to him from the wide stairway as she hurried down to the first floor, and he smiled at her words. He had a notion that Johanna Patterson wouldn’t always be so agreeable. In fact, if he had her pegged right, she’d be a worthy opponent for any man. No matter—he’d never backed off from a battle before. Settling down to a marriage with Johanna might very well be a real struggle, but it was one he was more than willing to wage. She’d make a good mother for Pete and Timmy. As for himself, he’d have the farm to run, and hot meals on the table and clean clothes to wear every day.

He turned to where the sewing machine stood. It would be awkward carrying it, but not more than he could handle. Kind of like the agreement he’d made with Johanna Patterson, he thought with amusement. He might find things a little awkward at times, but he’d warrant he could handle her. Matter of fact, sorting out Johanna Patterson might prove to be the most interesting part of the bargain.

*  *  *

“Blest be the tie that binds…” Voices soared around her as Johanna mouthed the words, her throat too dry to add sound. The hymnal she shared with the man next to her would have been impossible to read from, had she held it alone. Her hands were cold, her fingers trembling, and only Tate’s sure strength kept the book from tumbling to the floor.

“…our hearts in Christian love…” he sang, his voice a pleasant rumble in her ear. At least he could carry a tune, she thought. That was one thing she knew about him now. No, she knew he liked cream in his coffee and he had a heavy hand with the sugar spoon, if this morning’s meal was anything to go by. He’d eaten two bowls of oatmeal, laden with brown sugar and half a dozen biscuits, fresh from the oven, then been generous with his praise for her cooking.

His hand slid the songbook from her grasp, and she glanced up at him in surprise. The closing hymn was over, and he placed the book on the pew, then stepped a few inches closer to her. His pant leg brushed her skirt and his palm cupped her elbow as his head bent, the better for him to speak privately.

“You weren’t singing.”

Her breath caught, shivering in her chest, and she wished fervently—just for a moment—that she was at home, feeding the chickens or milking the cows or even carrying those dratted apples to the fruit cellar.

“Are you all right, Johanna?” The teasing note was gone, a worried tone taking its place.

She nodded, clearing her throat. “Yes, I’m fine. I’m just wondering what we do next.”

He glanced over his shoulder to where the townsfolk were streaming down the aisle and out the door of the small church. Curious glances had warmed his back all through the service. Whispers of conjecture had accompanied the sound of the piano playing, and even now half a dozen
women were gathering at the back door, their heads together. If he was half as smart as he’d always thought, he’d have arranged for himself and Johanna to show up at the parsonage after church.

“Pa? Are we goin’ now?” Pete’s loud whisper was impatient.

Tate bent past Johanna and spoke to the boy. “In a few minutes, Pete. Remember what I told you? Miss Johanna and I need to talk to the parson for a few minutes first.”