Carousel (12 page)

Jaci tucked a sleepy Amanda into bed, kissed her good night, and quietly closed her door. She kept reliving the meal, where the lovely Lycinda had eaten daintily, spoken only when spoken to, and smiled oh, so sweetly.

Damn,
she swore silently, pulling her skirts up to keep from tripping as she stormed down the hall. She'd never get used to walking in these long dresses; would never begin to understand the customs that ruled the way nineteenth century women behaved and thought. Miss Edwardson, however, had no such problem and stood ready and able to do all that and more as Nicholas's bride. Jaci had seen how the woman gazed all sappy-eyed at him.

"Augh," she sputtered out loud, jerking the pins out of her hair as she stomped to her own room. "What did you expect?" she asked her mirror reflection. "
You
don't belong here, no matter who thought it a great joke to put you here. So you might as well face facts. Nicholas will marry Lycinda and she will live at Wildwood, no doubt tossing you out on your butt."

At the thought of leaving Wildwood, Jaci dropped to the vanity seat in tears. She had come to care for the residents of Wildwood. She had even learned how to relax and enjoy the slower pace of this century compared to the hectic life she had lived. It still amazed her sometimes that if something wasn't accomplished right on time, it was shrugged off and done later. After all, there are only so many hours in the day, Mrs. Jeffrey had recently said. And while Jaci had told herself that throughout her life, she had never been able to live by the credo. There had always been something that needed doing.

As she struggled out of her dress and into her nightgown, she admitted that all her reasons for not wanting to leave Wildwood didn't have to do with the pace of living nor the staff. Amanda had become very dear to her; as had the child's uncle.

She used tongs to take several glowing coals from the fire and drop them into the long- handled warming pan. She carefully walked the hot pan over to the bed and swept it back and forth over the sheets and coverlet to take away the chill.

She recalled how she had shivered each night when she climbed into bed before finally asking Molly for an electric blanket. That had certainly raised some questions. After a faltering explanation and some quickly conceived fantasy about the term because she had lived in the south, Molly told Jaci for the second time she was living in the wrong century. Of course, there wasn't any argument in that statement.

Recalling the story soothed her fears and as she snuggled beneath the mound of covers, she gave a sigh of resignation. There wasn't a whole lot she could do about the future--Lycinda's or her own. The most she could hope for was that Nicholas would allow her to stay at Wildwood with Amanda after he married. She knew no other place in this world; no other way to sustain herself.

She drifted off to sleep, warmed by the fire. In her dreams, Nicholas did ask her to stay at Wildwood, but when she tried to recall the dream the next morning, it quickly dissipated. Had he wanted her as Amanda's governess, or in a totally different capacity? Her stomach lurched as all the possibilities crossed her mind, but at least for the time being, it gave her a feeling of belonging. She rose to greet the new day with more confidence.

* * *

The confidence lasted only until breakfast, where Nicholas informed her, in no uncertain terms, that she would learn to ride a horse.

"I told you I didn't ride," she ground out. "I don't care to learn." She stubbornly set her chin and drank her coffee.

"I can't believe you never learned to ride a horse. Everyone, man or woman, must know how to ride to survive."

"Not if you drove a Corsica," she mumbled under her breath.

"What did you say?"

She ducked her head, thinking fast. "I said I rode in a carriage."

"That's all fine and good, but it won't do. Every one at Wildwood rides," he stated firmly. She turned to argue the point, but he continued saying, "Part of Amanda's education is learning to ride. As I believe we have already established, Miss Eastman, where Amanda goes, so goes her governess."

She scowled at him but he went blithely on. "As long as you must be with her, you might as well ride. Besides, her instructor is quite capable of handling two pupils at once."

"And just who is Amanda's riding instructor?"

"Why, Uncle Nicholas, of course." Amanda clomped into the room, already dressed to ride. "No one can ride as best as him."

"As well as he," Jaci corrected automatically.

"Thank you. I'm glad you agree." Nicholas grinned at her remarks, knowing full well what she had intended. "Now, Amanda, if you will take your governess up and get her clothes changed, I shall meet you both at the arena in fifteen minutes." He left no room to argue, turning on his heel and leaving Jaci with her mouth open.

Flabbergasted, she allowed Amanda to lead her upstairs, but when she chose a long dress with all the accompanying petticoats, Jaci drew the line.

"No, I think this will suffice." At the time Mrs. Sullivan made her clothes, no thought had been given to a riding habit. For now, she drew on a dark chocolate-colored dress with only one petticoat beneath, all the while thinking there was entirely too much material to allow her to climb on a horse. She knew her jeans, carefully hidden in the bottom of the armoire, would be more comfortable, but totally inappropriate for this venture.

With a sigh and some trepidation, she and Amanda walked to the arena. She dreaded getting up on some huge beast over which she had no control. All at once, an image streaked across her mind of the carousel horses--so well carved as to look real. Perhaps this was a test. She hadn't thought of it before, but maybe she needed a real horse to take her back in time, instead of a wooden one. That put an entirely different light on the activity, and Jaci's footsteps picked up considerably.

A nerve-rattling hour later, Jaci didn't think she had the patience to stay atop this animal long enough to find out if it could return her to Dallas. The groom had helped her mount before disappearing, and Nicholas seemed more intent on instructing Amanda. He assumed she would follow along, but words like posting and collect the horse didn't mean anything to her.

In addition, the groom had given her a broken saddle. She had swung her leg over the saddle and finally straightened her skirts about her, only to find there wasn't a loop of any kind on the right side for her foot.

Nicholas finally decided she deserved some attention, and walked his magnificent black horse, Wind Dancer, over to her side. "Miss Eastman, you seem ill at ease."

"You might say that. I told you I didn't ride," She ground out the words as she gripped the horn at the front of the saddle and clutched the reins.

"It might help if you relaxed."

"Tell that to the horse. If it wouldn't keep fidgeting and bouncing around, maybe I could." As though the animal knew her thoughts, he sidestepped and pranced, bouncing against Nicholas's horse.

"Whoa, Sabet, whoa now," Nicholas spoke softly to the horse, reaching over to take the reins. Jaci quickly let go, glad to be done with it, but he wasn't done with her.

"No, you don't." Before she realized his intent, he swung a leg over his own horse and hopped on behind her. The horse fidgeted and snorted, but the minute Nicholas spoke again, it came to a complete and utter stop. Jaci still didn't release her grip on the horn.

"The horse can tell if you're afraid, so the first thing you must do is relax." His breath whispered against her ear, and she wondered how she could possibly relax with him that close to her. His arms came around her to handle the reins, one forearm brushing lightly against her breast.

"Then, you must--" he paused, his legs sliding forward slightly to bump her own. "Are you riding astride?" As though in disbelief, his right hand slid down her dress, squeezing and probing her leg.

She had thought there was enough material in the dress to insulate every part of her body, but when his hand touched her, she felt the heat from his fingers. She jerked her leg, accidentally kicking the horse and again it jumped sideways. Nicholas immediately clutched her waist to keep her steady, and that was worse than his hand on her leg.

She stiffened an already straight spine, which brought her back in contact with his chest. She groaned; he chuckled in her ear.

"Miss Eastman, would you please relax and sit still for a moment?"

She gave a negative shake of her head. His nearness had her so unnerved she couldn't breathe, much less answer.

He chuckled again. "As lovely as I find you, and as much as I would love to kiss these delicate pink ears of yours, the back of a horse isn't exactly my choice for a rendezvous." Even as he said one thing, he did the exact opposite, his tongue flicking out to tickle the back lobe of her ear.

She groaned. In an involuntary movement, she wiggled her bottom back in the saddle. Her action brought her up tight against him and he reacted instinctively by scooting back. The horse apparently didn't like what either rider was doing, and pranced forward. That left no horse beneath Nicholas and he tumbled off the back, fortunately letting go of Jaci when he did so.

"Oh, no." Still clutching the pommel, she swiveled this way and that, trying to see behind her to where he had fallen. The horse complied with her efforts and turned around, dropping his head to nuzzle Nicholas, who sat in the dirt.

Jaci tried to swing a leg over the saddle, wanting to get down and help him, but he held up a hand to stop her.

"Don't even attempt to dismount, Miss Eastman," he said with some chagrin. "You and your damned skirts would no doubt cause poor Sabet to bolt and run right straight over me."

She cringed. She liked it much better when he called her Jaci.

He picked himself up and dusted off his riding breeches, shaking his head in disbelief.

Amanda, who had apparently felt left out of the skirmish, trotted her pony over to where they stood. "Are you all right, Uncle Nicholas? I don't think I've ever seen you thrown from a horse before."

He scowled. "I wasn't thrown. Miss Eastman pushed me."

Jaci sputtered. "I did not!"

"Yes, you did, and that's the end of it." He stood, hands on hips, like a petulant child, and regardless of his tone.

Jaci laughed.

Amanda joined in the merriment. Jaci shook her head as she gazed down on him and laughed harder, tears escaping for no real reason. It just felt good to laugh.

She saw Nicholas wink at Amanda as he laughed, and she knew he wasn't mad at her.

She started slightly when he reached for her, until she realized he intended to help her down from the horse. This was complicated somewhat from the fact that she didn't have both legs on the same side, as she now realized she should have.

Together, they stumbled before he righted her, his hands firm on her waist. "Miss Eastman, if you are always this clumsy, how on earth do you hope to teach Amanda the social graces?"

"I am not--" she started to argue before she glanced up and saw the twinkle in his eyes. She gave a sigh of pleasure, the release of pressure, both mental and physical, leaving her feeling exhilarating.

"It's because the horse has four feet. I can run quite well on my own two feet," she said without thinking.

Nicholas's hands tightened on her waist, and she remembered the one time he had seen her running. Then, as now, the tension between them had been a palatable force. Her eyes widened as she studied him, not sure how he would respond.

He stared at her for a moment, almost as though seeing something else. He cleared his throat and released her, gathering the reins of Sabet and Amanda's pony, Flower.

"Yes, well..." He stared off in space for another minute. "You won't have to worry about either my interrupting your run, or another riding lesson for a few days, anyway."

She felt acute disappointment at his words. While she preferred not riding, she liked his company.

"I must travel into the city on business, in preparation for the upcoming holidays." He didn't have to tell her where he went, but as he spoke, Jaci wondered why it seemed he sounded hesitant to go.

"Will you see Papa?" Amanda asked. The question surprised Jaci because Amanda never asked about, nor spoke of, her father. Although she called Nicholas by the title uncle, Jaci somewhat assumed the child looked to Nicholas as her father.

Nicholas ruffled the girl's curls. "I doubt it, Muffin. He left on a big ship for England, and I don't believe it will have returned yet." Jaci watched as Amanda's shoulders drooped. "But I will leave a message with the shipmaster to make sure he is home by Christmas."

Jaci wondered if he added that comment only for Amanda's sake, whereas he probably didn't believe his brother would come home for the holiday. It didn't appear to matter, for Amanda grinned and left the arena skipping well ahead of the adults. Jaci walked more slowly, for she already felt the muscles tightening in her backside and wondered if she would even be able to get out of bed tomorrow.

Chapter Seven

Nicholas wearily opened the door, glad to be back at Wildwood after a long week in the city. His business at the Philadelphia Exchange had taken longer than anticipated, but he felt good about the prospects for next spring's sales. Already, there had been inquiries about Wildwood yearlings.

Unfortunately, news from Westbrooke Shipping had not been as good. His dock master assured him all ships to and from England were running on schedule, but he couldn't insure that Cameron would arrive in time for the Yuletide holiday. Amanda would be crushed. Nicholas steamed, arguing to himself that although he loved his niece, she needed her father.

"Uncle Nicholas, you're not suppose to be home." A flurry of pink hurled itself at him.

"Hello, Muffin. I'm glad to see you, too." He reached down and lifted her high in the air, returning her kiss.

"Of course I'm glad to see you, but we didn't think you would be home until tomorrow."

"I'm sorry to be early. Shall I leave and return later?" He moved to put her down, but she tightened her arms around his neck.