Carousel (20 page)

"Oh, dear." As though just recalling her presence, Nancy turned. "I'd like you to meet someone."

Michael was a lawyer, Jaci realized from their conversation. As Nancy formally introduced them, she thought she would dislike having him for an adversary in a court of law. He was about Nicholas's size, but he had a presence about him that intimidated her. Formidable was the word that came to mind. Thick brows bunched over piercing blue eyes as he acknowledged his wife's introduction, and Jaci felt he saw right through her fraudulent shell.

His face transformed, however, when his gaze went back to Nancy, and Jaci felt their love as a tangible presence in the room. She had never been interested in photographing people, but this once she wished she had her camera to try to capture their essence.

She turned, anxious to leave. She wasn't the least comfortable intruding on the intimacy they shared. Besides, she needed time to digest the recent discoveries Nancy had shared with her.

Fortunately, Nicholas entered the room at that moment, carrying her wrap. She looked at him with different eyes. Was he the reason she had traversed time? Nicholas, the most self-sufficient, independent and responsible person she had ever met? Somehow she doubted it.

Michael and Nancy Schaffer walked them to the door, wishing them a happy holiday, and promising to visit Wildwood when they returned from England, which was Michael's original home.

Jaci felt a moment of panic. After all, she had only learned she was not alone in this complicated world, and now Nancy was leaving. She squeezed the other woman's offered hand and whispered, "Call me."

* * *

"Call me?" Michael repeated as the carriage rolled out of sight. He bent his gray head to kiss his darling wife's ear. "Don't tell me she's one, too?"

"I'm afraid so," Nancy sighed.

"Does Nicholas know about her
problem?
"

"Not yet."

"I'd better warn him. I doubt he has the same agreeable disposition as I do to handle it." Michael pulled his wife back into the house and shut the door.

"Yes, as I recall, you handled things quite well. You only carried on about it for two months. And no, you will not tell Nicholas that Jaci's a time traveler, though I doubt he'd believe you, anyway. You know it's something they have to work out themselves. Besides, I'm not so sure she wants to stay."

She turned in Michael's arms and kissed his chin. "I'm very thankful I met you before my window in time appeared again. I can only hope that Jaci will come to understand her reason for being here before she loses the chance to be happy. And to be loved."

* * *

"Call me? Whatever does that mean?" Nicholas echoed Michael's words as they rode away in the carriage.

Jaci felt a strange elation over discovering she wasn't alone any more, but she thanked the lack of lighting in the carriage so he couldn't clearly see her face. "Isn't that what you say to someone when you want to visit? You know, calling cards and all that sort of thing?"

He sighed with the same sound of resignation he used every time she said something unbelievable. "I suppose one might say that, although it is more proper to issue a written invitation." He paused before adding. "You do have a strange way of speaking."

She shrugged, already lost in thought. She went over every single word she and Nancy had shared, looking for some hint that would tell her when she would return to Dallas. She contemplated the handsome man sitting across from her in the carriage. She clutched her hands, hot and sweaty inside her gloves. Did she even want to return to Dallas?

Chapter Eleven

"'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring...." Jaci recited her favorite holiday poem as she tucked Amanda into bed.

"I want to stay up," the five-year-old complained, even as she rubbed tired eyes.

They had already celebrated a full day: gift giving with the servants; a marvelous dinner of turkey with oyster stuffing and all the trimmings; and singing as the Yule log was lit.

"If you stay up, Santa won't visit, and we won't get to take that sleigh ride your uncle promised."

"I know," Amanda said on a sigh as her eyes drifted closed. Jaci bent to kiss her forehead, then blew out the light on the night table.

Silently, she descended the stairs to the main floor, took her wrap from the hook and bundled up. Hoping not to disturb anyone, she let herself out into the night.

In the rush of getting ready for Christmas, she had pushed aside her conversation with Nancy Schaffer. Always, though, in the back corner of her mind, she had hoped to be home with her sister at Christmas. Even if her practical side said it was not to be. If, as Nancy assured her, she would know her purpose and recognize her window to return, she could do little but wait.

The air froze in her lungs as she inhaled. Snow swirled about her boots and tried to sneak past the fur that lined her cloak and hood. She couldn't stay out long; she'd freeze even with the layers of wool she wore and the benefits of her fur-lined muff. For a few minutes, though, she wanted to feel open space around her, even if the gray, snow- laden skies of Pennsylvania weren't the wide-open blue that Texas boasted.

"I imagine this isn't the kind of winter you've had in the past." Nicholas voiced her very thoughts from behind her, and immediately Jaci felt warmer.

His features were somewhat obscured by the night and the fact that the fur fringing her face softened her gaze. She raised a hand to slip her hood back to see him better, but he reached out to stop her, his touch warm on her wrist.

"Don't; you'll catch cold." He settled her hood back in place, but his fingers lingered on her cheek. She tilted her face towards his warmth.

"Why so sad? Christmas should be a time of joy and laughter."

"I miss..." she began, tears choking her reply. She gave a slight shake of her head and turned away.

"Jaci." He enfolded her in his arms as he whispered her name. She didn't object as he pulled her back against his chest. They stood in silence among the swirling snowflakes and midnight sky.

He hugged her tighter, and she felt the stirrings of desire. No, it wasn't desire she felt. The warmth spreading through her chest and surrounding her heart was more than desire; something much deeper and more lasting. Nicholas had slowly infiltrated her heart with his smile and had quietly unearthed her strongest feelings with his gentleness and caring. Jaci, the cynic, had come to realize that love did exist.

Oh, please, don't let me love this man. It wouldn't be fair to him, and I would die when it came time to leave.

"Do you know how right this feels--to have you here at Wildwood?" he whispered close to her ear.

"Amanda is a sweetheart, and I appreciate the fact you let me stay as her governess. I don't know that I ever thanked you for that."

He turned her in his arms and tilted her chin with a finger. Even in the dim light from the house, she saw the silver glitter of his gaze.

"You know good and well it's not Amanda's care to which I refer." Of course she knew; but it wouldn't do any good to admit it.

"Jaci, I love you."

"No, no you don't." She covered his mouth with her hand, hoping to block the words, but they hovered between them and Nicholas didn't appear to want them back. "You don't know anything about me; we argue constantly and I don't do what I'm told." She glanced back and forth, anywhere but at his face, looking for more excuses.

"And that's one of the reasons I love you." He pulled her closer, their hips meshing.

Panic welled in her chest. She didn't love him; she didn't; and it wasn't fair of him to love her. "You love Lycinda."

"No," he said, shaking his head.

"You're supposed to marry her. Her father said so."

"No." He grinned at her--that silly, little boy grin that lit his eyes and made her heart melt.

"You can't. I can't," she said with dejection as she twisted out of his grip and stepped away from his embrace.

"Why not?"

Damn, he was persistent.

"I already told you. You don't know--"

"I know that you're lovely and stubborn and spirited and argumentative at times. I also know you love Amanda as much as I do and usually your arguments are on her behalf." He paused, and she wondered if he wanted her to argue with him now.

"There's more to me than that: things you can't even begin to imagine." It wasn't simply that she came from a different century. She couldn't allow him to love her when she didn't know what was to become of her.

"Then tell me your secret so we can get on with our lives."

"I...I can't." She rushed towards the door, aching for his touch but knowing it unfair to take what he offered when she couldn't give in return. As she hurried inside, his words echoed behind her.

"I love you, Jaci Eastman. I won't give up!"

* * *

Jaci slept fitfully that night, dreaming of Nicholas and declarations of love. "If only...if only..." she mumbled in her sleep.

"Wake up, wake up, it's Christmas day!" Amanda bounced on her bed and her eyes flew open. In that short space of time between sleeping and waking, she was back in her bed in Dallas, Mandy clamoring at her to wake up and see what Santa brought. As she scooted out of bed, her bare feet hitting the cold wood floors, she sent a silent wish for a Merry Christmas across the century to her sister.

"Okay, okay, Amanda. Merry Christmas to you, too." She hugged the little girl before heading for the privacy screen. "You might as well wake up your uncle, and I'll meet you downstairs in a few minutes."

As soon as Amanda left, Jaci washed her hands and face in the water provided in the pitcher. Glancing at her reflection in the mirror as she brushed her hair, she decided she needed to dress before going downstairs. Her puffy eyes looked bad enough; there was no reason for Nicholas to see her in her nightgown and robe.

Nicholas. What was she going to do about him? Jaci's hands fumbled with dress buttons as she recalled their conversation last night.
I love you.
His words warmed her heart and gave her goose bumps at the same time.

She had wanted to seduce him; she still did, but lust was different from love. Besides, that was before she had found out there would be a window for her to return to Dallas. Now? She didn't know what she wanted.

"Miss Eastman?" Amanda's voice came from down the hall and Jaci closed her mind to the
might-have-beens
and descended the stairs with a Christmas smile on her face.

There were more presents under the tree than had been there last night. Jaci wondered when Nicholas had time to shop.

"Merry Christmas to you," he said softly as he handed her a cup of coffee on a delicate china saucer.

"Thank you," she returned, taking the coffee and letting her gaze linger over his appearance. His hair was pulled back, as always, but he had dressed casually in tailored slacks and a shirt open at the throat, covered with a satin smoking-style jacket. His face was clean-shaven, the creases around his mouth deepening as he smiled. She realized she was staring.

"You can have your heart's wish, you know. All you have to do is ask." He leaned close to whisper.

"I don't...I wasn't..." Jaci sputtered.

He laughed and left her standing in the middle of the parlor. She took a gulp of coffee. The nerve of that man--to think she was staring at him because she wanted him. Even if she did, it was very impolite of him to notice.

She settled in a chair close to the fire as Amanda passed out her gifts. She had drawn pictures for her uncle and Jaci--a horse for him and a field of flowers for Jaci. When Jaci asked who the two little girls were in the middle of the flowers, Amanda whispered, "Me and Mandy," and Jaci cried.

Nicholas insisted Jaci pass out her presents next and leave his for last. Self- consciously, she handed him a small wrapped package. Amanda had already claimed her larger box in which Jaci had wrapped a riding habit and a jaunty little hat. She squealed excitedly when she opened the lid.

Jaci had agonized over what to buy Nicholas. She knew the rules governing gift-buying must be radically different here than in her time. To tell the truth, even after living under the same roof as he for the past three months, she didn't know his tastes, except in brandy, which she refused to purchase.

"The Gilded Age."
He read the title out loud when he unwrapped the book. "This is Twain's newest treatise on the ruin of mankind, isn't it?"

"You've read it," Jaci stated, disappointed.

"No, I haven't. Thomas mentioned last week how hilariously Twain wrote, but I've had little time to read." He smiled in thanks. "This will make a most welcome addition to my library."

"Now open Uncle Nicholas's present," Amanda interrupted as she shoved a package into Jaci's lap.

As she opened her present, Nicholas got up and slid a wooden chest from behind the tree. She recognized the trunk which Nicholas had consigned Gustav Dentzel to make for Amanda. When Nicholas saw her watching him, he put a finger to his lips, his eyes twinkling.

She glanced down at the box in her lap. On a bed of soft satin lay a miniature carousel horse, cast in silver. "Oh, my," she breathed as she lifted the delicate piece from its cushion. The figure was intricate, every detail revealed in the lines and etching in the metal.

"It's a music box," Nicholas supplied.

Jaci wound the figure and set it on the table at the side of the chair. A tinkling melody, reminiscent of the waltz she remembered dancing at the Wildwood ball, floated about the room as the carousel horse gracefully turned on its center pole.

Tears blurred her vision as she glanced up at Nicholas. "Thank you; it's beautiful." The words seemed inadequate to express what she felt at that moment.

His smile, dazzling and heartwarming, completed her Christmas.

"Now, Muffin, it's time for your big present." He turned his attention to Amanda, and Jaci sat back to watch. However, his next words caught her off guard. "Your papa sent a message to the Shipmaster to say how sorry he was to miss Christmas, and he sent along this chest for you to put all your treasures in."