Carry Me Home (The Home Series: Book Three) (22 page)

“Jesse’s here,” I told Matt.

“Good.  I can stop worrying now.  Call me if you need anything.”

“I will.  Thanks for listening,” I said and pulled the phone away from my ear as my eyes remained locked on the mirror and the image of Jesse climbing out of the truck. I took in a deep breath before I got out of the car, wondering what we would say to each other and how it would be after our last conversation.

“Are you okay?” he asked the moment I’d shut the door.  His voice was full of worry so I just nodded.

“I’m fine.  I wish Matt hadn’t called you.  I had the situation under control.”

“I’m glad he did call me.  You shouldn’
t be out here by yourself with some creepy tow truck driver,” he said, brushing by me and walking around to the other side of the car to inspect the damage.

“And I’m not with one now?” I said sarcastically and he just looked up, meeting my gaze before rolling his eyes and choosing to ignore my comment.

“What the hell did you do?” he sighed while crouching down and looking at one of the tires.

“I ran over pieces of a tire in the road.  It looked like a semi had a blowout or something.”

“And you didn’t see it coming?”

“I looked away for a second and when I looked back, it was too late.”

“Looked away?” he said, eyeing me doubtfully. “What were you messing with?  The phone or the iPod?”  He’d always given me a hard time about being a distracted driver, but I chose not to feed into his chastisement. 

“Does it matter?  It can’t be changed now.  The damage is done.”

“And a good amount of damage you did,” he mumbled, moving up to the front tire and inspecting it. “This rim is damaged.”

“Sounds expensive.”

“It is,” he said, standing up and walking over to me. “That doesn’t matter though.  What matters is that you’re okay.  You are okay, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I’m fine,” I said as his eyes searched over my body for signs of any injuries. “I’m
fine!
” I insisted firmly. “You can stop looking at me like that now.”

“I just want to be sure,” he said, turning on his heels and heading back to the tow truck.  I didn’t say anything as he worked, but I couldn’t look away either.  I couldn’t stop focusing on the way his jeans hung on his hips and how his sculpted muscles hugged his t-shirt in all the right places or the way the shadows from the brim of the Red Sox hat I’d given him highlighted his perfect cheekbones and strong jaw.  His muscles rippled and flexed as he secured my car onto the bed of the tow truck and I had t
o shake my head to get the memory of those solid arms wrapped around me out of my mind. 

“We’re all set here,” he said a little while later, thankfully pulling me out of my daydream.  I didn’t want to see where it would lead me next.  Probably an image of his naked body and I blushed at the thought. 

“Thanks,” I said, hoping the tone of my voice didn’t betray where my thoughts had been only a moment before as I walked towards the truck.  He held open the passenger side door for me and when he took my hand to help me inside, I didn’t acknowledge the electricity that seemed to shoot up my arm as our skin touched.  Instead, I pulled my hand from his quickly and buckled my seatbelt while I waited for him to join me. 

He was inside a second later and started the truck wi
th a loud rumble before easing it onto the highway.  We drove in silence for the first few miles and I was overly aware of the lack of conversation.  It was awkward and uncomfortable, but I didn’t know what I should say either.  I didn’t really want to say anything at all.  Our conversation was still raw from two days ago and being stuck alone in the cab of a tow truck for the next half-hour with my insanely hot ex-boyfriend was not going to help anything. 

“Why
didn’t you call me, Riley?” Jesse finally said.

“I think we both know the answer to that question,” I answered, forcing my voice to be cold.  I couldn’t let him in.  I may be single again, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t the one in control. 

He didn’t respond and the silence returned.  He leaned over and flicked on the radio a few minutes later and I was grateful for the noise. 

“Those clouds don’t look good,” he said and I looked up at the horizon.  The sky had been harmlessly cloudy all day without even a speck of rain, but what lay ahead of us looked dark and menacing. 

“No, they don’t,” I agreed.

“I think we’re in for a good thunderstorm.  Maybe even a tornado.”

“Seriously?” I said, nerves prickling over my body.  I’d lived in Kansas for five years now, and while I’d heard about tornadoes in surrounding counties, I’d never experienced one for myself and it was not something I wanted to.  The tornado sirens had gone off a few times, but nothing had ever panned out, but every time I heard those loud wails, I was overcome with fear until the all clear was given.

“Maybe,” he said, continuing to look out the windshield.  The temperature’
s right and the wind’s picking up.”

I took
out my phone, immediately pulling up the website from the TV station in Wichita my grandma had always watched to get her weather updates.  I quickly read through the forecast and breathed a sigh of relief.

“Right now it’s just thunderstorm warnings,” I said, putting the phone away.

“That’s good,” he said and then glanced over at me for a second before looking back at the road. “So, where were you coming from?”

“Excuse me?”

“What were you doing on the turnpike?  That’s not a road you usually take.”

“You don’t know the roads I normally take,” I spat back.  I was finding the ruder I was to Jesse, the easier it was not watch the way his forearms flexed as he gripped the steering wheel.

“You’re right.  I don’t,” he said and I looked at him from the corner of my eye and I felt badly for snapping at him.

“I was coming back from Kansas City,” I said, my tone even and neutral. 

“You drove all the way up there today?”

“Yes, I did.”

“That was a quick trip.”

“I know,” I mumbled softly a
nd he didn’t press me for any more information. 

We didn’t say anything the rest of the way home and I was relieved when I saw the sign for Baylor Automotive.  Jesse pulled the truck into the parking lot and when we got out, I hadn’t realized how windy it’d become.  It seemed hotter too.  I pulled the elastic from my wrist and tied my hair back into a sloppy ponytail to keep it from whipping around. 

“How long do you think it’ll take to fix it?” I asked as Jesse started the process of offloading my Jetta. 

“Not long.  I’ll make sure Glenn puts it at the top of the list.”

“Thanks,” I said and I couldn’t help the way my lips curled into a slight smile at his thoughtfulness. 

It didn’t take long for Jesse to finish up and once he was done, he walked over to where I was waiting for him.

“Let’s get you home,” he said and I followed him over to his fancy pick-up. 

Again, he held the door open for me and I couldn’t stop my mind from drifting to the way it was when he’d insist on getting my door every time we drove together.  At first, I thought it was silly.  The boys back in Boston never wanted to get the door for me.  But the more I was with
Jesse, the more I realized it wasn’t silly.  He was a gentleman and that was the way gentlemen treated ladies. 

O
nce inside the truck, he shut the door for me and I used the few seconds it took for him to walk around the front and climb in beside me to check out the new truck.  I’d yet to ride in it and as I sat in it now, I missed his old Wagoneer.  The way it smelled.  The way my legs stuck to the leather in the oppressive summer heat.  The bench seat that allowed me to sit right next to him as we drove, my head on his shoulder and his arm around me. 

“This is a lot different than the old Jeep,” I said, once he’d buckled his seatbelt and started the engine, which hummed quietly.  Driving in the Wagoneer had been like riding in a tank.

“Sure is,” he said, pulling the truck on the road and heading towards my house. “I miss that thing sometimes.”

“Me too,” I said, not realizing the words had slipped out of my mouth until I saw Jesse glance at me briefly, a remembering smile on his face.  I felt myself blush and I turned away, hoping he hadn’t seen.  I stared out the window as I watched the trees bend and sway in the increasing wind
.  I saw a few flashes of lightning off in the distance.  I got nervous again and took out my phone to see if there had been any weather updates.  There hadn’t been and I told myself I should relax.

“It’s looking worse out there,” I commented as we neared my house.

“Yeah.  Looks like Armageddon’s about to take place,” he said with a grin and I saw his neck straining to see out of the top of the windshield.

“Have you ever been in a tornado?” I asked.

“Once.  I think I was like seven or something.”

“Was it scary?”

“Yeah, it was,” he said and I thought maybe he’d tell me it was no big deal to make me feel better.  He didn’t.

“What’d you do?”

“My dad and I just hung out in the basement till it cleared.”

“Was there a lot of damage?”

“No.  There was an old barn a little ways from my house that got demolished, but that was it.  It was still scary as hell though.  I could tell my dad was scared, which freaked me out even more.  I mean, my dad was never scared, so when I realized he was, I thought for sure we were gonna die,” he said and when I didn’t respond, he looked over to me again.

“Are you okay, Ry?” he asked and I nodded wordlessly. “You’re all pale.  You’re not scared, are you?” I didn’t say anything again and I watched as a reassuring smile spread over his face and then I felt his hand rest on my thigh comfortingly.  I was startled by the touch, but I couldn’t
deny it made me feel better. “I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to upset you.  Everything’s gonna be fine,” he said and the way he said it made me believe him. 

He removed his hand from my
leg and pulled the truck into my driveway. 

“Thanks for helping me,” I said as I gathered my stuff.
“And sorry for being rude when you got there.  If you hadn’t come when you did, I might still be out there in this lovely weather.” I laughed, but Jesse just smiled.

“You don’t need to thank me, but you’re welcome.”

I opened the door and was greeted with a gust of wind so hard, it jerked the door from my hand so it flung open with a jolt.  I grabbed it and pulling with all my might, I was able to close it and then turned to him.

“You can’t be out driving in this weather,” I said, turning to him with worried eyes. “It’s not safe.”

“I’ll be okay, Riley.”

“Your house is almost twenty minutes away and it’s right in the direction of the storm.  Stay here until it passes,” I said, not thinking of the words coming out of my mouth.  I wasn’t thinking about the fact I was supposed to be mad at him or the fact I still loved him.  All I was thinking about was not being able to bear the thought of anything happening to Jesse if I let him drive home.

“Are you sure you’re okay with that?” he asked, his eyes reaching mine and I smiled shyly and nodded. 

“Stay,” I said softly.

“Okay,” was all he said and we both got out of the truck and headed up the porch, past the old white rocking chairs and through the doorway, side by side. 

Chapter Thirty

When he shut the door behind us, the loneliness I’d been feeling since my mom and Jack left for Alaska, was completely gone.  The house seemed full and complete.  Jesse’s presence was heavy and exciting and something I’d missed more than
I wanted to admit. 

I set my purse down and turned to him.  He was still standing by the door, looking nervous and adorable as if he wasn’t quite sure he should be here. 

“Are you hungry?” I asked, breaking the tension.

“A little.”

“Let’s get something to eat then,” I said and he followed me quietly into the kitchen.  He leaned against the counter as I looked through the fridge.  Being alone in the house for the past couple of weeks, I’d been living mainly off of sandwiches and frozen meals and there wasn’t much to offer him. “How do BLTs sound?” I asked, still leaning over into the fridge and when I turned to get his approval, I could’ve sworn he’d been staring at my butt.  I looked away before he could see me blush and I quickly grabbed what I’d need from the fridge before standing up and turning around so he no longer had such an open invitation to my backside.

“Can I help?” he asked as I set the bacon, lettuce, and tomatoes on the counter. 

“Why don’t you slice the tomatoes while I fry the bacon?” I said and he just nodded as he found the cutting board and knife effortlessly, obviously recalling all the time he’d spent at my house before our life together had gone down the tubes. 

We didn’t say anything as we worked, but every time I heard the knife he was holding hit the cutting board, I was aware that he was there, that he wasn’t a figment of my imagination and that I liked the feeling of knowing he was only a few feet away.  For so many years I’d wondered where he’d gone and why he’d thought he had to leave me behind, but now he was so close I could reach out and touch him.  I felt myself wanting to go to him, to wrap my arms around his waist, his back to my front, teasing and distracting him the way I used to, feeling him squirm under my touch.  I imagined him turning around quickly, smiling at me only the way he could and pressing his lips against mine.  Slow at first and then hungrily, wanting me as much as I wanted him. 

Just the thought made me blush.  I couldn’t be thinking about him this way.  Only two days ago he’d begged me to choose him and I’d sent him away.  I kept reminding myself of the way he’d hurt me.  The way I’d loved him and the way he’d loved me had been so deep that the pain of not being together was even deeper and that is why I forced myself to keep him out of my eye sight, focusing on the sizzling bacon on the stove instead.

When it was done, I turned to see Jesse had set the table, prepared the lettuce and tomatoes and poured us each a glass of ice water.  I’d been too focused on not paying attention to him that I hadn’t noticed him getting everything ready. 

I set the bacon on the table and then we sat quietly, making our sandwiches and eating in silence.  When I’d asked him to stay, I didn’t know what I’d expected.  I just knew I didn’t want him to leave. 

Even though we remained silent throughout dinner, it wasn’t awkward and when we were both done, he loaded the dishwasher while I tidied up the kitchen.  It was all very domestic, but it was obvious we were tiptoeing around each other.  I could tell he was trying not to look at me just as I was trying no
t to look at him, but then as I was walking our empty water glasses to the sink, a crash of thunder louder than I’d ever heard before, jostled the house and the glasses fell from my hands as I jumped from the scare.  They smashed to the floor, shattering into a mass of shards and pieces. 

“Are you okay?” Jesse asked, walking quickly over to me. 

“That thunder just scared the crap out of me,” I said breathlessly. 

“Yeah, that was a big one.  It’s getting nasty out there.”  Both of our heads turned to look out the window above the kitchen sink.  The sun was nearly set now, but there was an eerie
greenish haze in the sky and the trees were bending so fiercely, I was certain they would snap any moment. The rain had started now too and was pelting against the house like a thousand bee-bees.

I remained
transfixed; staring at the impressive storm going on outside, but Jesse went over to the utility closet and grabbed the broom and dustpan.

“You don’t have to pick up my mess.  I can take care of it,” I said, reaching for the broom, but he pulled back.

“Let me get it,” he said and I knew there was no arguing with him.

“Thank
you,” I said softly.

The thunder and lightning seemed to intensify as it lit up and shook the house in an impressive display of force.  The lights flickered a few times and I reached under the sink for the
box of emergency supplies my grandmother had insisted we keep on hand for situations like the one Jesse and I currently found ourselves in.  I placed it on the table and after Jesse dumped the pieces of glass into the trashcan, he came and stood beside me as I looked through the box.  I wished he didn’t smell so damn good all the time.  It made it nearly impossible to concentrate on anything else. 

“What’s all this?” he asked.

“My grandma’s emergency supplies.”

“She’s a smart lady,” he said as we took out the candles and matches and checked to see if the flashlights were working.

“Do you think we’ll lose power?” I asked, hoping he’d smile, easily assuring me that we’d be fine, but he didn’t.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if we did.”

“I’m glad you’re here then.  I hate the dark,” I said, looking out the window again to see the green haze was almost gone, replaced by the nearly black night.  The wind had stopped too and the rain was merely a sprinkle now.  It was unnervingly calm.  I took out a candle and lit it just in case we needed it. 

“You always were a bit of a baby,” he said with a soft laugh, looking at me with those gray eyes that always did me in.

“I’ve matured a lot since you knew me,” I said, the pain from him leaving me, returning to my voice and I picked up the candle before walking into the living room. 

I sat alone on the couch for a couple of minutes and then Jesse finally came in. 

“I just checked the weather,” he said, sitting on the opposite end of the couch from me. “They’ve added Sumner County to the tornado watch list.”

The pit widened in my stomach and I sucked in a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart, which was not caused by Jesse this time. 

“It’s gonna be fine, Riley,” he said and I watched as he looked at the cushion next to me with hesitation.  I wanted him to move beside me.  I’d never felt safer than when Jesse was with me.  I wasn’t sure if he was able to read my mind or if he just knew me, but he finally closed the gap between us, so our bodies were only inches apart and I felt myself relax.

“You don’t have anything to worry about.  It’s just a storm.” His hand was resting on my knee a moment later.  It was a gesture of comfort, but I shamelessly wished he would keep inching
higher.  I wondered if he was able to read my mind because just as my thoughts had his fingers tracing under the hem of my shorts, he pulled his hand away, effectively putting a stop to my latest daydream. 

“I’ve always been freaked out by big storms,” I said, trying to steady my voice so it didn’t betray how nervous this storm was making me or how flustered I was becoming by having him around.  “I think I may have been struck by lightning in a previous life.”

He chuckled quietly and it was like music to my ears.  I’d always loved hearing him laugh and unfortunately, before he’d left, there hadn’t been a lot of laughter.  He’d been too lost and sad, but hearing it now gave me hope that he was finally okay again.

“It’s nice to hear you laugh,” I said before I could stop myself and he looked at me, seemingly taken aback by my statement, but then his hand returned to my leg and this time it didn’t seem so foreign.

“It’s nice to laugh with you again,” he said softly. 

“
Despite what you may think, I never laughed as much with anyone as I did with you.”

“I’m sorry there wasn’t a lot of that before I left.” His voice was low, almost a whisper and it reminded me of when his dad died when he was sad and lost and I hated hearing that tone in his voice. 

“That was just a bad time.  There were so many more good times.” My voice was quiet, but our heads both turned to each other, our eyes locking.

“There were a lot of great times,” he said, the sadness leaving his voice and he smiled at me sweetly.

“Are you okay now, Jesse?” I asked suddenly. “The whole time you were gone, I just wanted to know you were alright.”

He didn’t look upset that I’d brought it up, which I took as a good sign.

“I still miss him,” he said as his eyes drifted off for a moment before returning to mine. “I miss him so much. I sometimes think about everything he’s gonna miss, like playing with my kids if I ever have any and when I think about what he’s already missed. I wish I could tell him about everything I did in the Marines.  He would’ve loved all that crap.”

“He knows, Jesse,
” I said, my hand resting on top of his. “And he’s proud.”

“You think so?” he asked, reminding me of a nervous school boy.

“I do,” I said, trying to reassure him. “I think he’s always with you and looking out for you.”

“I hope so,”
he said as his voice cracked and he swallowed hard through the emotion and we were quiet for a few moments as our hands remained touching. “I wish I’d been able to figure it all out without having to hurt you.” His voice was tender and apologetic now and I watched as my hand seemed to move of its own free will, pushing under his and curling our fingers together. 

“Everything happens for a reason,” I said seriously, my voice low and soft. “I wanted to hate you, Jesse.  I was so angry at you…so devastated, but I know it was supposed to happen.  The time wasn’t right for us.”

He looked down at our hands for a few seconds before looking back to me.

“It’s like that poem
Mrs. Davenport made us read says.  Nothing gold can stay.”

I felt my throat ti
ghten as our grip grew stronger.  What we’d had truly had been golden.

Just then, a wave of bullets started pelting the roof.  Jesse jumped up and looked out the window.

“It’s hailing like crazy out there,” he said, an awe in his voice that frightened me and then wind as strong as a freight train battered the window so hard I was surprised it didn’t break.  The lights flickered once and then the house went completely dark except for the candle I’d insisted on lighting.  My heart was pounding furiously now, but it only got worse when the tornado sirens started wailing in the distance. 

“C’mon, Riley.
  We need to get to the basement.” 

Jesse practically pulled my arm from its socket as he grabbed the candle and led me without hesitation into the dark basement.  I’d never liked going down there and now it was even worse as the flickering candle caused eerie shadows to dance around us. 

“We have to stay away from the windows and we need to sit in the southwest corner,” he said, stopping for a moment to get his bearings and then leading me over to the corner.  I didn’t say anything.  I just did what he told me to do.  We sat huddled on the floor, side by side, and I wasn’t ashamed that I moved in as close as I could to him.  He put his arm around me and held me tightly and I was so grateful he was with me.  I wasn’t crying, but I felt as if I couldn’t breathe.  It was like I was in shock, but Jesse seemed calm and I knew I was probably overreacting. 

“How’re you doing?” he said softly in my ear as the wind and hail continued to howl around us, but I couldn’t answer him. My voice was gone and all I could do was
meet his eyes with mine to show him how terrified I was. “Hey,” he said sweetly, a smile spreading across his face as he brushed a finger lightly over my cheek. “We’re gonna be fine.  This is just a precaution.  A tornado probably won’t even touch down.  We just have to be ready in case it does.  But relax.  I won’t let anything happen to you.”  I nodded, believing every word he said and then I felt light strokes on my back as he rubbed it, trying to calm me.  We were quiet then with no sound to fill the void besides the hail that continued to pummel the house and I prayed it would all be over soon.  I don’t know how long we sat there like that, me huddled into him while he rubbed my back, trying to reassure me everything would be okay, but it seemed like forever.  I started to get nervous and then my mouth just opened and I began talking.

“I went to Kansas City today to make sure I hadn’t made a mistake when I said yes to Evan,” I said suddenly and I felt Jesse’s body stiffen at my words, his hand stopping on my back momentarily before I felt its circular motion return to my eager skin. 

“And what’d you find out?” he asked in a low voice.

I didn’t answer at first.  Instead, I just held up my left hand for him to see, the light from the candle flickering and dancing.  He didn’t say anything, but I could feel his gaze staring at the spot the engagement ring had occupied.

“I can’t marry Evan.”  I waited for his response, which didn’t come for a few moments.

“Why not?” he finally asked and I thought I felt his breathing quicken as he held me.