Carrying Hope (16 page)

“Jesus,” I groaned, rubbing my face trying to clear my thoughts.

My phone beeped with a text message; it was Tanner, of course.

How’d it go?

Terrible. I want her more than ever.

It was hard for me to admit that to Tanner. I knew he wouldn’t approve.

Well, shit.

I laughed, shaking my head. At least no one could say that I didn’t know my best friend.

I’m spending the day with her tomorrow.

You need to get laid. That would make you feel better.

I rolled my eyes. Leave it to Tanner to make everything about sex.

I desperately wanted to take Marcie to my bed. I dreamed about it so often that sometimes I woke up surprised that it didn’t actually happen. The images my mind created were so vivid that I’d woken up hard and wanting her on more than one occasion. But she had to come to me. I couldn’t push myself on her. She had no way to really refuse me if I did and I couldn’t live with myself if I did that.

I feel fine.

Uh-huh. Suuuuure.

I stuffed my phone into a desk drawer, not wanting to deal with his taunting right now. I had enough on my mind without having to dodge Tanner. I would get all of this figured out eventually. For right now, I just wanted to concentrate on something that wasn’t the tempting woman down the hall. If I kept thinking about her I would end up at her door.

I couldn’t concentrate on anything, so I eventually gave up for the night. I wanted to be as well-rested as possible for my day with Marcie and her grandmother.

The next morning, a knock on my door woke me from my lust-filled sleep. I grunted, looking at the clock: 8 AM. It was too early.

“Bryce?” Marcie’s soft voice called from the other side of the door and my brain was suddenly away.

That wasn’t the only part of me brought to attention by Marcie’s presence.

I climbed out of bed and poked my head out the door.

“Oh, I’m so sorry. Did I wake you?” She looked great in her new clothes: form-fitting jeans and a black sweater that accentuated all of her curves.

“That’s okay,” I mumbled over a yawn.

“I’m just so excited, I couldn’t hardly sleep,” she said, practically bouncing in place.

“Okay,” I grinned, “let me get dressed and I’ll meet you downstairs.”

She retreated and I lingered at the door for a moment to admire the curve of her ass as she walked away. I thought she was beautiful in her old baggy clothes that hid her body; now she was a total knock-out.

I got dressed in record time and flew down the stairs, just as eager for the day as Marcie was, albeit for different reasons. I hoped that Marcie’s grandmother would like me. She was the only family that Marcie had, so I assumed her opinion would be important. I didn’t know what to expect from the old woman, but I was nervous, regardless.

“So, is this your maternal grandmother, or paternal?” I asked as we climbed into my car. I opted to drive today for no particular reason.

“She’s my dad’s mom,” she answered matter-of-factly.

“I see. So on a day when you could go anywhere in the world and do anything you want to do, why do you want to go upstate to see her?”

I saw the corners of her mouth twitch upwards.

“Because, my Nana is one of my all-time favorite people. She helped me when I was in trouble and she was always there for me until she got sick.”

I hesitated to ask, but I was dying to know.

“What’s wrong with her?”

Marcie didn’t look at me when she answered.

“Alzheimers.”

The sadness in her voice was like a punch to the gut. I wanted to make her pain go away, but there was nothing my money could do for this.

“I’m sorry, Marcie.”

“Don’t be. I’m just happy I get to visit her again. It’s been way too long and who knows if I’ll ever have another chance.”

“I understand.” I could vividly remember how terrifying and devastating it was to watch my mother slowly slip away. I couldn’t imagine seeing it happen dragged out over years.

We spent the two-hour car ride chit-chatting about this and that, but not really talking about anything important or emotionally charged. I accepted that I wasn’t the only one with a lot going on in my mind. We both needed a distraction from our troubles and thankfully, we were able to distract one another.

“Suffice to say, I’m not allowed in Russia anymore,” I finished my story with Marcie laughing uncontrollably.

“That’s awesome. Talk about a misunderstanding,” she giggled, wiping tears from her eyes.

I laughed with her, my heart light and unburdened at the moment, thanks to her.

“Yeah. Unfortunately, the police over there don’t really believe in ‘misunderstandings’. Fortunately, they’re very susceptible to bribes.”

“You had to bribe a police officer?” Her eyes were wide with disbelief and I smirked and gave her a nonchalant shrug.

“It was either that or spend twenty years doing hard labor in Siberia.”

She gasped, covering her mouth, and looked at me like she wasn’t sure who I was.

“Oh my gosh. That sounds so scary.”

I shrugged again. At the time I’d been scared shitless, but I wasn’t going to let her know that.

“I’ve managed to get myself out of worse situations.”

She gave me a look that said she didn’t believe me one bit.

“Okay, maybe not worse, but
equally bad
situations.”

She raised her eyebrows, still not buying it.

“All right. You got me. That was the worst. But I got out of it.”

She laughed again, nudging my shoulder.

“Well, I’m glad you did. Otherwise I wouldn’t be here.”

The car’s navigation system told us that we’d arrived at our destination as I pulled in to the nursing home.

“We’re here!” Marcie exclaimed, clapping her hands.

“We are,” I said less enthusiastically. My first impressions of the facility were not positive.

It was a state-run nursing home, so it already had one strike against it. The facade of the building was crumbling and there were bars over the windows. The entire set-up looked bleak and depressing and I felt a rush of guilt that Marcie’s grandmother was locked up in this place.

We walked in through the front doors and a surly looking nurse greeted us with a ‘I’ll get to you in a minute’ and a sour look on her face.

The inside of the building wasn’t any more promising than the outside; ancient wallpaper hung from the walls in peeling strips, the ceiling tiles were covered in water stains and the entire place smelled like the nurses neglected to clean the bed pans. I had half a mind to complain to the governor, but I didn’t want to make any more waves until I figured out the whole thing with my father.

The nurse finally turned her attention to us.

“What do you want?”

Marcie looked at me like she was afraid of speaking to the nurse, but she finally piped up.

“We’re here to see Agnes Gallagher,” she answered, her voice trembling slightly.

The nurse rolled her eyes and gave us each a visitor’s badge and the room number.

I kept my hand on the small of Marcie’s back as we walked down the hallway. I could feel her tension and though I didn’t quite know the cause of it, I knew enough to want to reassure her.

“This place has changed a lot since I was here last,” she said sadly.

“It was never the Ritz or anything, but it was at least clean.”

I frowned, wishing I had something helpful to say.

“I’m sorry, Marcie.”

“It doesn’t matter,” she answered, brightness working its way back into her voice. “I’m here and that’s all that matters.”

We arrived at room 1128 and Marcie walked in first.

A small elderly woman sat in an armchair by the window. The sill was covered in potted plants in varying stages of dehydration. The room was tidy, but disorganized. There was a pair of socks draped over a lamp shade, a toothbrush on top of the television and a pair of reading glasses in a coffee mug.

Marcie approached the older woman and knelt in front of her while I hung back in the doorway.

“Hi Nana,” Marcie said quietly.

The old woman turned her gaze from the window to Marcie and a huge smile split her wrinkled face.

“Marcia, you came to visit me!”

“Of course I did, Nana. I brought a friend too,” she waved me over and I obeyed, “This is Bryce, Bryce, this is my Nana, Agnes.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, ma’am.”

“Oh, let me give you a hug. Both of you!” Agnes cried, standing from her chair and giving both Marcie and me a tight squeeze. There was a lot of strength in those frail-looking bones.

As she stepped away from me, I could see tears shining in her eyes. Marcie must have gotten her eyes from her grandmother because they had identical warm, loving gazes. Though her short hair was completely gray and her skin was wrinkled, her eyes shone with an energetic youth that her granddaughter inherited.

“How have you been?” Marcie asked, pulling up another chair.

Agnes waved a hand dismissively.

“Who cares about how an old woman is? Tell me about this handsome fella of yours,” she said with a wink in my direction.

“I hope you’re taking good care of my granddaughter, young man.”

I chuckled and nodded.

“I’m trying my best,” I answered.

“I’m sure she doesn’t make it easy.”

“Nana!” Marcie exclaimed, hiding her face in embarrassment.

“What?” She asked innocently, “He’d have to be as dumb as a box of rocks to not realize that you’re as stubborn as a mule.”

“It’s not like that, Nana. We’re just friends,” Marcie corrected. I felt my heart sink a little, but I tried not to show it on my face.

“Oh, I see. They must have changed the definition of that word since my day,” she teased. 

Marcie turned even redder and I fought to hold in my laughter.

“Well, if you don’t want him, I’ll take two.”

It was my turn to blush. I’d never been hit on by a elderly woman and I didn’t quite know how to react. Marcie thought my unease was hilarious.

“Marcia, will you be a dear and get me some tea from the cafeteria? I can’t quite get rid of this chill in my bones,” Agnes asked.

Marcie jumped up from her chair and gave her grandmother a pat on the shoulder.

“Sure, I’ll be right back.”

I started to follow her, but Agnes called to me.

“Young man, I’d like for you to stay here, please,” she said sternly.

I swallowed past the lump in my throat and walked back to her seat by the window as Marcie disappeared down the hallway.

“Did I do something wrong?” I asked hesitantly.

“I’ll say!” She exclaimed, her raspy voice full of matriarchal authority.

“When are you going to tell my granddaughter how you feel about her?”

It took every ounce of my will power to not show my surprise on my face.

“I’m sorry? I don’t understand,” I lied.

“Don’t play games with me, boy. You’re no more difficult to read than the daily paper.”

I sighed.

“It’s complicated,” I admitted.

“I’m going to let you in on a little secret,” she said, gesturing me closer.

I sat in the chair that Marcie occupied only moments earlier and braced myself for something I undoubtedly didn’t want to hear.

“
Everything
is complicated. If you’re going to let a little thing like that get in the way of your happiness, then you don’t deserve it. Anything worth having is going to be a bitch and a half to get… and keep.”

I glanced back towards the door, making sure Marcie wasn’t coming in as I spoke.

“I don’t want to take advantage of her…”

The old woman laughed and slapped my knee.

“You’re dumber than you look; she’s crazy about you.”

I shook my head. No… Marcie may think she was interested in me, but every time we got close, one of us pulled away. Surely it shouldn’t be
that
difficult.

“I don’t think so. She has a lot going on right now.” It wasn’t my place to tell Marcie’s grandmother about her break-up or the baby or anything really.

“Who does?”

My gaze flicked back to Agnes and I saw something different in her eyes. They were no longer the same as Marcie’s; her face was plastered with a look of confusion.

“Who are you?” She asked angrily.

“I’m Bryce… your granddaughter’s friend?”

“You’re a liar!” She shouted at me, standing up and shoving me.

I stood up and started to back away from her.

“No, remember? I’m Marcie’s friend.”

“Marcia’s just a baby. You’re a liar. Get out!” She screamed.