Cartier Cartel (25 page)

Finally, Cartier couldn't take it anymore. When Jason came for their
weekend trailer visit, she decided to have a heart-to-heart. They had a lot of
things to talk about, mainly, who would keep the baby until she came home.

"I was thinking that my moms could take care of the baby," Jason said,
"until you come home and we could take over."

"No, I don't really know your mother like that and I would feel better if
my mother cared for our baby," Cartier countered.

"She already got two kids that she's struggling with," Jason said with
attitude. "Besides, she be having them young niggas up there, ain't no telling
what could happen to my baby. And I swear to God I will kill your mother if
she ever let anything happen to my seed."

"Calm down," Cartier screamed. "You always losing your cool for
no reason and acting like a kid. We're adults and we need to talk through
situations. You yelling and acting all dumb with threats ain't gonna solve
nothing."

"You right, but I needed to make my point," Jason defended himself

"It's still a point whether you scream it or speak it."

"Night, I got you. You don't gotta keep drilling me. So, what's up? Who's
gonna watch the baby?"

"I still would prefer my mother," Cartier began explaining. "I've already
asked her and told her she couldn't have company until I got home and that you'd give her money per month to help her with expenses. She said she
thought that was a good idea"

"Is that what you really want?"

"Yes"

"Then, that's what it is"

"Good. Now we need to talk about you and your mistress"

That angle must have blindsided Jason, because his eyes stretched
opened wide and he began babbling. It had been four months since Monya
told Cartier about being pregnant and she never mentioned it once. Monya
was due any day now and Jason actually began to believe Cartier wouldn't
ever mention it.

"What are you talking about mistress?" he replied.

"Jason, please don't insult my intelligence. Your mistress. Monya. Your
baby momma. We need to discuss that situation"

Jason exhaled. "What about it?"

"Before I step foot out of this jailhouse, you better end it," Cartier
commanded. "I don't care when it started or why, nor do I care about her
baby. But you better shut it down. Completely. If I come home and you're
still seeing her, I will make you both regret that you ever betrayed me."

Cartier's words were filled with venom and laced with lies. She cared
about it all. A part of her wanted to know all the seedy details. Who came
on to whom first? Did they laugh at her? Were they in love? Did she fuck
Jason better? She wanted to know that and more, but she wouldn't dare
ask.

"Cartier, you right. And I'm sorry that-"

"Nah, it ain't that easy," she interrupted. "I don't want to hear your
sorrys. I don't want to hear you beg and plead, and walk around here feeling
sorry for yourself. I don't want you to make promises you don't intend to
keep. You did that once before when you promised that you'd never betray
me. Remember that?

"So I will never discuss this with you again. As I said, you will end that
relationship, or I will. One way or another, your relationship with Monya
will end."

Cartier was thinking crazy thoughts in her head as she sounded off about
her husband's infidelities. As she spoke those words, she felt enough anger
and rage to actually kill one or both of them for hurting her heart. At that
moment, when she said shut it down or I will, she truly meant it.

This time, Trina was the bearer of bad news. Monya had had a healthy
baby boy that she named, Jason Nicholas Payne, Jr. He was a junior. The
thought repulsed Cartier. She didn't think the situation could feel any worse,
but the news of the baby's birth was just as bad. She realized why Jason was
pumping his fist for a baby girl. He already knew he was having a baby boy.
Cartier wondered how she could love someone so much who hurt her so
deeply. She had such big plans for their family and although she hated to
admit it, Monya and Jason Jr. would be in their lives forever.

Whatever little tricks Monya was plotting would forever affect Cartier.
Play dates, child support, sleepovers, daycare, birthdays, all would be
compromised, because of her husband's infidelities. No matter how she sliced
it, Monya would always remind Cartier she had her husband's firstborn and
son. That was a double slap in the face.

That night, Cartier prayed for God to give her the strength to forgive
those who hurt her most and to take away the regret she felt for standing up
for Monya. She knew if the regret and disdain she had for Monya persisted,
then it would kill her internally. It was already slowly tearing her up inside.
She needed to let go of the past and begin to think about her future.

he sharp pain shooting through her backside was new for Cartier. She
had never felt this bad before. The pain was worse than any menstrual
cramp she'd ever experienced. She doubled over, clutching her stomach in
agony. Within seconds, she was perspiring profusely. "H-h-help ... helpppp!"
she managed to scream through her ordeal.

Her lower body felt as if it were on fire. Everything throbbed as she
experienced sensations that were foreign to her. She wished her mother were
there to rub her back and tell her everything was going to be all right.

She was happy when the guards showed up at her cell and took her to
the prison infirmary. Now there was only the staff nurse and doctor, and they
didn't tell her soothing words to comfort her or massage her aching back.

"You're a young girl. Push!" the nurse shouted, annoyed at Cartier's
constant cries and complaints.

"It hurts!" Cartier screamed through her pain.

The nurse was disgusted. She didn't have any remorse for the convicted
murderer getting knocked up in prison.

"It's supposed to hurt. You're birthing a child!" the nurse stated in a nasty
tone.

Cartier couldn't understand where the nurse's anger was coming from,
but she felt the disconnect with the elderly nurse. As much pain as she was in, she wished she could smack the bitch a time or two.

Eight hours later, Cartier gave birth to a healthy six pounds, five ounces
baby girl. When the doctor placed her in Cartier's arms, she felt love. Her life
finally had meaning and purpose. Cartier never expected to feel so emotional.
Immediately, she began crying large tears as she continuously kissed the
newborn's bald head.

"What shall I name you?" she asked her baby. The infant began to move
around in her mother's arms. Cartier was so exhausted. All she wanted to do
was close her eyes and go to sleep, but she couldn't. She only had a few hours
with her baby before they took her away and she didn't want to waste one
minute. Her heavy eyelids just stared at the little pink figure. Cartier studied
her small fingers and toes, and examined her ears and the skin peeling from
her body. Cartier tried in vain to see whom the little girl resembled, but it was
too soon.

"What shall I name you?" Cartier asked again. After tossing around a
few names in her head like Armani, Mercedes, Porsche, Cartier realized she
didn't want to keep the tradition her mother had started. She wanted her
daughter to be a good girl and have a chance at making a decent living. She
was determined not to give her a name that would prevent her from having
a professional job. She had seen the 60 Minutes and 48 Hours shows on TV
about black folks being discriminated against in the professional workplace,
because their names sounded too ethnic. And Armani and Mercedes
definitely sounded black. Cartier smiled at her baby and thought that those
names sounded more like a female swinging from a dancer's pole every night
than one making business deals in a corporate boardroom.

"I bequeath you Christian Jane Payne," Cartier said to her newborn.
Cartier liked the name. She liked that name very much, and she hoped that
one day little Christian Jane Payne would like her name as well. It seemed
like only seconds had passed before the nurse came in to take Christian away.
Instantly, a deep depression set in Cartier's heart. She cried as the nurse nearly ripped the baby from her arms.

"I want my baby!" Cartier cried as she balled up her fists and then
exploded in a fit of rage. She had to be sedated, which was something Cartier
needed. The pressure had been intense for most of her pregnancy. At times,
she wasn't sure if she would make it. She damned Jason and Monya for putting
the extra stress on her during her pregnancy.

But as Cartier drifted off, she had good thoughts on her mind. She had
delivered a blessing named Christian Jane Payne. Internally, she smiled as
sleep called her name, a peaceful sleep.

hey say prayer changes things, and Cartier finally believed. She had been
praying for months to have a healthy baby and be released from prison.
When she met the parole board and outlined why she should be released,
she was more vocal than other times she had met the board. Her compelling
argument was that she was a mother and she wanted and needed to raise her
child, so her child would never call any prison in the United States home.