Cassandra Austin (10 page)

She snuggled against him, content to do nothing more.

“I can’t believe we did that,” he murmured.

“Regrets already?” she asked, feeling a pain much sharper than she had felt moments earlier.

“Not regrets, Jane,” he said. “I just want you to know I didn’t plan this.”

“Neither did I,” she said, feeling a little defensive, but uncertain why.

“I know.” He found her hand and twined his fingers with hers. “I only meant to talk to you. But it’ll keep until morning.”

Morning,
she thought,
after a night spent in his arms.
She couldn’t possibly sleep like this. But moments after she thought it, she found herself drifting off to sleep.

* * *

Adam shook Jane out of a deep sleep. “It’ll be light soon,” he said softly.

“What?” Jane started to push herself off her bed to see who was in her room, then realized she wasn’t in her room. A naked Adam was lying on his back looking up at her with a seductive smile on his face. She quickly adjusted her chemise to cover herself more effectively.

“Much as I hate to let you go, you probably should get back to the boardinghouse.”

“Yes.” She tried to shake the sleep out of her brain.

“We’ll be along later for breakfast.”

“We?”

He grinned at her then, evidently enjoying her confusion. “Peggy and I.”

“Peggy!” Only yesterday Jane had vowed to work twice as hard to prove to the placing board that she could support Peggy. Here she was in Adam’s front room, her clothes in shambles and her brain too foggy to think of anything except the man beside her. She had to get away from him so she could think. “Yes, bring her over for breakfast.”

She found her bodice and slipped it on, her fingers shaking as she worked the tiny buttons. Her pantalets had also been tossed aside but she was too mortified to do anything but wad them up and clutch them to her side.

To make matters worse, Adam had come to his feet and fastened his pants as if it didn’t bother him
at all to do so in front of her. She started for the door, but he caught her arm. “Better use the back door,” he said.

She turned toward his kitchen, but he didn’t let her go. He drew her into his arms instead and planted a slow, devastating kiss on her lips. By the time he was through she had to rely on him to point her in the right direction. She looked back once to see him watching her with what could only be described as a satisfied grin on his face.

She hurried across the dark yards and crept into her kitchen. She went from elated to mortified and back at least three times before she closed the kitchen door behind her. What had gotten into her? At the same time she wondered how she could have resisted. In truth she had wanted this to happen, had dreamed of it, for weeks.

Oh, Grams would have been so upset with her! In all her twenty-two years she had never seriously questioned anything her grandmother had told her. Until now.

How could what had happened between her and Adam be so terribly wrong? Adam wasn’t like her father or her grandfather. He wasn’t going to abandon the woman he loved.

But hadn’t he loved Doreena until recently?

Jane tried to shove the thought aside. Doreena was different, she told herself. Doreena didn’t want to be part of Adam’s life. She had rejected his love.

And he had sought solace in someone else’s arms.

Not liking the way her thoughts kept turning, Jane decided to put Adam out of her mind, at least as much as possible. She had the dishes from last night’s buffet to clear away, then she would prepare a special breakfast. She wanted everything to be perfect. George and Adam, too, would realize that she could provide for a little child.

But first, she needed to run to her bedroom and change into a fresh dress, not to mention pantalets.

Adam stood smiling long after Jane left his house. What a treasure he had almost missed. What if Doreena had married him when he’d asked her to? What he had felt for her could hardly be compared to what he felt for Jane.

Maybe fate had played a hand. Or maybe Doreena was more perceptive than he was. Either way, he felt as if he had just missed stepping off a cliff.

With a light heart he gathered up his scattered clothes, found all but one of his collar buttons and folded Jane’s blankets. He noticed she had left the tray sitting on his desk. He could return it when he went for breakfast. There was no evidence that Jane had shared the meal with him.

The blankets could raise a few eyebrows, however. Besides, he might need them tonight. With any luck, he would again be sharing them with Jane.

Once his front room was tidy, he went to the kitchen to warm some water to shave. When he was finished, he went quietly up the stairs. He hadn’t
heard a sound from that direction and assumed Peggy was still sleeping.

At first he thought the little girl was hidden under the tangle of blankets. As he approached the bed, however, he realized that it was empty.

“Peggy?” Adam called softly.

The room was quiet.

“Oh, please, be up here somewhere,” he muttered. He knew she liked to hide. He hoped to God she didn’t like to run away. Might as well start with the obvious. He tossed the covers that were dragging on the floor back onto the bed and looked underneath. Nothing but a little dust.

None of the other furniture in the bedroom left space either under or behind for a little child to hide. Adam covered the area thoroughly and sprinted down the stairs. The image of the little girl wandering around town in the dark, half-dressed, spurred him to search faster. He headed for his desk next, thinking she might have returned there while he and Jane were sleeping. His search of that room and his examination room proved fruitless.

All that was left was the kitchen, and he had been in there only a few minutes before. Still, he hadn’t been looking for a little girl.

He was reviewing possible hiding places as he entered the room, and went straight to the pantry. There he found Peggy, curled up on the floor, his chunk of cheese wrapped in her arm like a doll. His tin of crackers sat open at her knees.

“How often in your life have you been fed, little one?” he whispered. He knelt beside her and eased the cheese out of her grasp. He wrapped it back in its cloth and set it on a shelf, noting a few telltale tooth marks.

Peggy awoke when he put the lid back on the cracker tin. She seemed frightened for a second, then simply curious. “You hide, but you’re not afraid of me,” he said.

She didn’t answer.

“I’m glad you’re not afraid of me. Did you get hungry in the night?”

He didn’t expect an answer and didn’t get one.

“Let’s go upstairs and get dressed. We get to go have breakfast with Jane. You like her, don’t you?” He stood as he spoke and lifted Peggy under her arms. Half a dozen crackers scattered onto the floor. They had evidently been rolled in her petticoats.

Peggy watched them with alarm. Adam, once Peggy was balanced on his hip, reached down and retrieved one of the crackers. “I don’t see how one more can ruin your breakfast,” he said as Peggy took the cracker.

She didn’t eat it, though, just held it firmly in her hand as he helped her into a clean dress and ran a comb through her fine brown hair. He sat her on the bed and put her shoes on her swinging feet.

“Can you sit right here while I put on a clean shirt?”

Peggy just looked at him.

“If I keep talking to you, will you stay put?”

She swung her feet against the side of the bed, making a rhythmic thumping sound.

“That’s good. Just keep that up.” He was fighting with his collar when the thumping stopped. He spun around to face the bed and watched Peggy slide to the floor. She walked carefully across the room, her leather-soled shoes making almost no sound on the wood floor. She headed for the chair that held her suitcase. Adam watched as she tugged at the little apron that Jane had laid across the opened lid.

The apron fell to the floor at Peggy’s feet. Adam worked another button through the collar as he watched her try to put the apron on. She might have managed it but for the cracker.

“Want some help?”

She glanced at him but continued to try to pull the apron over her head with one hand. Adam knelt behind her and helped her finish, tying the bow at her waist. As he stood, he saw her slip the cracker into the pocket.

Or what was left of the cracker. There were quite a few crumbs sprinkling the floor at her feet.

“Now I know why you like the apron,” he said, turning to find his necktie. He turned back a moment later and she was gone. “Peggy?”

How could she move so fast and so quietly? Surely she hadn’t had time to go downstairs. He scanned the room and almost missed her. She was
crouched on the floor under a window, half-hidden by a bookshelf.

He decided to leave her. If he tried to coax her out, she’d just find another place to hide. He finished getting dressed, glancing often toward the little girl. Finally he joined her in the corner.

“Are you hiding from me?”

She stared at him.

He smiled and got a smile in return. “Let me show you something,” he said, moving from her to the window. He turned the latch and raised the casement. “Come help me guess what Jane’s fixed for breakfast. Smell that? Bacon, I think. Biscuits? What else?”

Peggy moved toward him, evidently smelling the food, too.

“Shall we go see?”

If he hadn’t caught her, she would have tried to go out the window. “Let’s take the stairs, all right?”

Downstairs, he remembered the tray. He wondered how he was going to carry the tray and keep ahold of Peggy. As soon as he set her down, she headed for the kitchen. He grabbed the tray and followed. Once he had turned the doorknob for her, Peggy headed straight for Jane’s kitchen door.

J
ane must have heard Peggy rattling the door because she opened it before Adam had caught up with the little girl. Peggy took in Jane’s warm greeting and stepped across the threshold. Jane opened the door a little wider to admit Adam.

“I forgot all about that,” she said, taking the tray.

“Now why would you do that?” he murmured.

She turned her back to dispose of the tray, but not before he saw two pink spots brighten her cheeks. He would have loved to pursue the subject further, but Peggy had disappeared.

“Peggy?”

“She went in the dining room,” Jane said, obviously unconcerned.

“She’s probably stuffing her pocket full of scrambled eggs,” he said as he went after her.

Peggy had climbed up on a chair and was eyeing the array of food with wonder. As far as Adam could tell, she hadn’t touched anything yet.

“Let’s go wait in the parlor,” he said as he lifted her out of the chair.

She grabbed a biscuit before he got her clear.

“On second thought, let’s keep the crumbs in the dining room.” He carried her around the table and sat her next to his usual place. She munched contentedly on the biscuit.

Jane came in with a bowl of spiced applesauce. “Will you tell the others it’s ready?”

Adam nodded. “Watch her. She’s a slippery one.”

“I know her tricks,” Jane said with a smile.

Adam found the others in the parlor and directed them to the dining room.

“How’s that little girl this morning?” George asked.

“Fine,” he answered. “It was just a case of stage fright yesterday.”

“Glad to hear it.” George ruffled the child’s hair as he went by. “Then we should start looking for a family right away.”

“So this is one of the urchins,” Nedra said, taking her place across from the child. “She needs to learn some manners.”

Adam looked down at Peggy. Other than a few crumbs in her lap and one or two on her chin, he saw nothing wrong with the way she was eating.

“Little girl,” Nedra said, “put that on your plate until the rest of us are seated.”

Peggy went still.

“Leave her alone, Nedra,” George said.

“Well, one can’t start too soon with their training. Right, Naomi?”

Naomi seemed to sense that the men in the room weren’t in agreement and chose them over her sister. “Well, she isn’t really our business.”

Once Jane had taken her seat, Adam slid into the chair beside Peggy. The little girl was still staring at Nedra. “Go ahead and eat, Peggy,” he said softly.

She continued to stare at the yellow-haired woman across the table. Peggy was so short Adam guessed she only saw the woman’s head.

“Well,” Nedra said, staring back. “She’s certainly a strange creature, isn’t she?”

Adam was sure Peggy thought the same of her.

Jane started the platters around. She had prepared quite a feast. He wanted to suggest that she was spoiling them but didn’t want her blushing in front of the group. He’d tease her later.

In spite of the variety of food, he couldn’t interest Peggy in anything but staring at Nedra. The first time the woman bent over her plate, he discovered why Peggy had watched her so closely. The little girl slid out of her chair, walked almost soundlessly across the room and slipped behind a curtain.

Adam was sure everybody at the table saw her go, with the exception of Nedra. The woman was visibly startled when she glanced up and saw the empty chair.

“Even I would put a stop to that,” Naomi said.

“Where did she go?” asked her sister.

Naomi pointed.

“Well!”

George broke the tension at the table with a laugh. “You know, I’d hide, too, if Nedra glared at me.”

Nedra turned and did just that.

George laughed again.

“She’s afraid of crowds,” Jane said. “Let her hide until we’ve finished. She can eat later.”

Nedra and Naomi seemed pleased with that suggestion. They turned the conversation in another direction, toward young Ferris, as a matter of fact. Adam watched Jane as she kept an eye on Peggy.

Ferris and Bickford had left the house and the Cartland sisters were on their way up to their rooms when George mentioned the orphan again.

“I’ll put the word out that the little girl’s available,” he said, rising from the table. “That is, unless you want to change your vote, Adam.”

Adam froze. He knew he should have told Jane last night. He watched the color drain from her face.

George showed no remorse for the revelation as he walked past them.: It was clear to Adam that George wanted Jane to have the little girl, perhaps to save him the trouble of hunting up another family. But George took all of Jane’s labors for granted. He didn’t see that she worked herself to the point of exhaustion.

“Jane,” Adam began, “I can explain.”

“You don’t need to explain. You’ve already told me you don’t think I’m competent to run this boardinghouse. Of course I wouldn’t be able to care for a child besides.”

“Jane—”

“When were you going to tell me?”

“I meant to last night but I…we got distracted.”

Her mouth fell open in shock. For a moment he thought she might slap him.

“What
was
last night?” she asked softly. “Consolation? Or am I supposed to be so overwhelmed with gratitude that I would forgive you?”

Adam had a feeling he was missing something here, something important. “Gratitude?”

“Yes,” she said, scooting back her chair with such force it screeched against the floorboards. “That you would even consider me after the perfect Doreena.”

“Oh Jane, don’t accuse me—”

She stood. “Let Peggy eat whatever she wants. I’ll clean up after you’ve gone.”

“Jane.” He came to his feet, but she was out of the room before he could stop her. Her bedroom door closed with a definite snap, if not the slam he was expecting.

He slumped back into his chair. Why hadn’t he had the sense to explain to her last night? He knew why. His common sense had deserted him entirely the first moment he’d touched her. What were the chances she’d believe that now?

A tiny sound reminded him he had other respon sibilities. He moved to the corner and crouched down, pulling the curtain aside. Peggy stood against the window, tears running silently down her face.

“Don’t cry,” he said, lifting her in his arms. “Did we scare you? It’s all right.” He carried her to the table. With her napkin he gently wiped away her tears. She sniffed once but seemed to be through crying.

He filled a plate for her with a little from each of the platters. “Nobody’s mad at you. Old Adam here’s the one who messed up.”

Peggy got up on her knees so she could reach the food more easily. She did a surprising job of putting away a good portion without ever touching the spoon or fork. Adam was glad she hadn’t stayed to eat with the Cartlands.

“What now, Peggy? Do you want anything else?”

Peggy licked off three of her fingers and pointed.

“Applesauce? Just don’t try to put it in your pocket.” He brought the bowl nearer and dipped some onto her plate. “How about trying the spoon this time?”

Peggy dipped her fingers in the sauce as Adam scooped some onto the spoon. “Here, you can get more this way.”

Peggy let him bring the spoonful to her mouth, then nodded at this new way to eat. After licking her fingers, she opened her mouth for more.

“You hold the spoon,” Adam suggested, putting it in her sticky palm.

She was a little awkward, but it worked better than her fingers. When she had scraped up all the sauce and licked the spoon clear up the handle, she looked over the table again.

“What next?”

Peggy chose a biscuit, and Adam wasn’t at all surprised to see her try to shove it into her pocket. “That may not be a bad idea,” he said, helping her break the biscuit until it fit. “I’m not sure we’ll be welcome here at dinner.”

He wiped her hands with the napkin and decided that wasn’t going to do it. “Let’s go wash up.”

He helped her out of the chair and took her hand. Peggy continued to lick off the other while she let Adam lead her to the kitchen.

The smells of Jane’s kitchen made Adam think of her. He wanted to go knock on her door and see if she would listen to him. But what would he do with Peggy? Once the child’s hands and face were clean he stood her on the floor and looked down at her. She craned her neck to look up at him.

“Maybe if I clean up from breakfast she’ll forgive me. What do you think?”

Peggy stared.

“I think it’s worth a try. Why don’t you hide under Aunt Jane’s kitchen table while I wash her dishes? Does that sound fun?”

Peggy didn’t move.

“Here.” He moved to crouch beside the table. “You can crawl under here and pretend…whatever it is you pretend.”

He was a little surprised when she came forward, bent down more than was necessary and sat on the floor beneath the table.

“Good. Now stay there, please, and don’t hide anywhere else.”

Adam made a quick trip to the dining room for plates, checking, as soon as he returned, to be sure Peggy hadn’t disappeared. She sat right where he had left her, whispering to herself.

He was well into the china when he heard the front door open and someone call for Dr. Hart. He moved into the dining room, rolling down his sleeves as he went. “In here,” he said.

An elderly woman came cautiously into the room. “Are you Dr. Hart?”

“Yes, ma’am. What can I do for you?”

“I brought my husband in to see you. Shall I bring him in here?”

“Next door. I’ll be with you in a second.” He turned quickly back to the kitchen and tossed on his suit coat. “Come on, Peggy. We have to go.”

He was relieved to see that Peggy hadn’t moved. He knelt down and lifted her out from under the table. “You can hide under my desk for a while. All right?”

She didn’t seem to be alarmed at their abrupt departure. The old couple were waiting in his front
room when he arrived. He let Peggy down and watched her walk across the room and slip around the desk.

The couple watched her, too. They both gave Adam a questioning look. “Peggy, from the orphan train,” he said.

They nodded in understanding. “The one that got sick,” the woman said. “We hear she’s touched in the head.”

“Now that’s not nice, Margaret.”

“I didn’t say anything against her. I just said what I’ve heard.”

Adam cleared his throat. “She’s, ah, a little unusual, I’ll have to admit. What can I do for you?”

The man spoke. “You can pull this tooth out so I can think about something else.”

Jane heard the woman call for Adam and decided she had sat in her room and felt sorry for herself long enough. Berating herself for being a fool didn’t help her get her work done. She had a kitchen to clean and some shopping to do. And then another meal to prepare.

She would like nothing more than to tell Adam he wasn’t welcome at her table, but he was a paying customer. She needed the boardinghouse more than ever now. She had to prove that she could make the place work, pay off her debt and own the house free and clear. She had to prove it to Adam and to herself.

When she knew Adam had left, she came out of her bedroom, prepared to face the mess in the dining room. She tried to tell herself that she was surprised that Adam had started the dishes. But she wasn’t surprised at all. He would have finished them if he hadn’t been called away.

Why couldn’t he be as wonderful as he seemed?

It wasn’t entirely the fact that he had denied her a chance to have Peggy, though that hurt, of course. What broke her heart was the fact that he had taken advantage of her grief last night. He had made her think he loved her, though this morning she couldn’t remember him ever saying that he did.

She continued to berate herself as she tackled the rest of the dishes. In spite of all her grandmother’s warnings, she had made the same mistake her mother had. She had trusted a man with her heart.

It wouldn’t help to mope around. Her garden had been neglected while she cleaned the house. There was always plenty to keep her busy.

By the time she was setting the table for dinner that evening she wondered if she would ever be so busy that she didn’t think about Adam or Peggy or the two of them together.

While she was picking fall peas, she had seen them leave the house. She had been sweeping the front porch when they returned. She hadn’t meant to check the clock or wonder why they had been gone for three hours. She didn’t need to know where they had been.

She shouldn’t be curious whether Peggy had said anything aloud to Adam. If Adam was growing attached to her or was eager to see her off with some other family.

They weren’t, either one of them, a part of her life except as paying guests at her table. Her life was the boardinghouse and that’s all it would ever be. She wasn’t making the same mistake again.

She plucked an ant off the chrysanthemums in the center of the table and went back to the kitchen to check on her pork chops. She was coming back into the dining room when Peggy entered from the other direction.

She heard Adam call after her, “Peggy. We should wait—”

He stopped when he saw her. Jane had frozen at the sound of his voice. Disappointment, anger and longing all washed over her as if she hadn’t spent the day trying to prepare herself for this meeting.

She didn’t want to react this way. She wanted to think he was no different to her than George or Mr. Bickford. The best she could do was pretend. And the easiest way to do that was turn her attention to Peggy. The little girl stood still between the two adults, perhaps sensing the tension.

“Good evening,” Jane said. She put the platter of chops she carried in its place on the table and knelt down beside Peggy. “Did you and Dr. Hart have a good day?”

Peggy gave her a shy smile.

Jane tried again, whispering this time. “What did you do today?”

“Puppy,” Peggy whispered.

“You saw a puppy?” She hadn’t meant to look up at Adam. She certainly hadn’t meant to smile.

“I had to make a house call,” he said. He was still standing just inside the room as if he were afraid to come any closer.
Good,
she thought. She wouldn’t be able to think if he was any closer.