Cast Love Aside (34 page)

“Ah, Magnus!” Desmond exclaimed. “How
delighted I am to learn that you went off on your own to aid a
lady. So irresponsible of you, brother. So unlike your usual
disciplined and virtuous self.”

“I did have a second, very good reason for
making another trip to France,” Magnus said to the king. “When we
captured Erland during our first visit, we left the manor in such
haste that I only had enough time to scoop up the most obvious
documents strewn across his desk. I thought if I could find the
rest of his private correspondence we might learn from that
material where Desmond was being held. Those are the documents I
handed over to Royce today, before the midday meal.”

“Once those additional writings are decoded,
they will be useful,” Royce acknowledged. “Still you did disobey my
specific order.”

“Let Magnus finish his story,” King Henry
said.

Magnus recounted the tale of the second
voyage across the Narrow Sea, calling upon Gilbert to supply
details about his imprisonment.

“So, it was you who knew where Sir Desmond
was being held?” King Henry asked Gilbert.

“At the time, I didn't know who he was,”
Gilbert responded. “I only knew he had helped me, so I was
duty-bound to help him in return.”

“Yes.” King Henry nodded his understanding.
“Knightly honor demanded it, and you intend to become a knight.

“Well, Braedon,” the king said, “have you
anything to add to this remarkable tale?”

“Only that Lady Lilianne has behaved as
gallantly as any knight,” Braedon said. His eyes began to twinkle.
“Sire, I wish you could have seen her during the battle in the
manor hall! The lady does not flinch at danger. Every item of food
and every dish she touched was turned into a weapon in our behalf.
I am convinced that her prompt action saved my life when I was sore
beset. Later, Lilianne's knowledge of the tunnels underneath the
manor provided our way out.”

“I will take note of what you've said,” the
king told him. He looked around the solar, resting his gaze on each
person in turn. All trace of amusement left his face and his voice
hardened. “Is there anything else I ought to know? Any detail that
any of you has neglected to mention?”

“There is one minor matter,” Magnus said
after clearing his throat. “I thought to tell it to Royce later,
but now I think you should hear it, too, Sire. Captain Piers has
charged me to report that he requires extra payment for the two
unexpected passengers he carried to Hythe. I am to tell you that in
future the captain wants to be warned in advance of passengers he
is expected to transport for Royce. And, he refuses ever again to
accept Norbard as a passenger, no matter how much you pay him, or
how urgent and important Norbard’s transportation may be.”

“Indeed?” said Royce in a voice like
fragmented ice. “A man who is little better than a pirate, who
ought to be thanking heaven he’s not in prison, dares to place
conditions on his employment?”

“Still, you do employ him,” Lilianne said,
the comment earning her a cold glance from Royce.

“I can’t say I blame Captain Piers,” Magnus
added. “Norbard blackened his eye and split his lip while trying
unsuccessfully to convince the captain to reveal why we were
returning to France. Royce, Captain Piers does own the
Daisy,
and thus he has the right to refuse passengers or
cargo that he doesn’t like.”

“Ah, the English,” King Henry remarked,
shaking his head. “So willing to defy authority for what they think
is right and just. It must be the Saxon remnant amongst you.”

“Perhaps, Sire,” Royce said, tight-lipped,
“it is the combination of Norman and Saxon blood, which you have
encouraged by your own marriage to a half-Saxon princess of
Scotland.”

“That is undoubtedly the explanation.” King
Henry smiled, though he appeared a bit sad at the mention of his
recently deceased queen. “I’ve heard enough for the moment.
Desmond, you look ready to perish from weariness. Go to bed. The
rest of you leave, too. I want to think about everything you've
told me. Tomorrow will be soon enough to reveal what I’ve decided
to do with you. Go!” He waved a regal hand and his audience
departed.

“Come, my lord,” Braedon said to Gilbert. “We
owe a visit to Sir William.” Placing a hand on Gilbert's shoulder
he steered the boy along the corridor in the direction of the guest
chambers.

As soon as Gilbert disappeared Desmond leaned
against the wall, doubled over by a spasm of coughing. Lilianne saw
how he was clutching his ribs as if trying to protect them from the
pain caused by his gasping breaths.

“The king is right,” she said, touching his
arm. “You do need to rest.”

“Lean on me.” Magnus offered his arm.

“How kind of you,” Desmond snapped, “but I
don’t want your help.”

“Will you cease this senseless bickering?”
Lilianne cried. “You will never reach your room on your own, and if
you collapse, Magnus will have to carry you, which will only cause
more damage to your ribs.”

“I need no one's help.” Desmond drew himself
up, took a deep breath – and gave way to coughing so severe that
his knees buckled.

“The man has no sense at all,” Magnus told
Lilianne, “and he is stubborn beyond belief. Give it up, Desmond.
We’re putting you to bed.”

With that he caught Desmond's free arm and
slung it over his shoulder. Lilianne slid an arm around Desmond's
waist. Together, with Desmond still holding his ribs, they
half-carried, half-dragged the coughing, sputtering knight to the
tiny chamber assigned to him and dumped him onto the bed. While
Magnus pulled off his brother’s new boots, Lilianne folded the
thick coverlet and tucked it under his head, and added a
pillow.

“He’ll breathe more easily if his head is
raised,” she said in response to Magnus's questioning look. “This
is what I did for Gilbert last winter, when he was ill.”

“I am not ill,” Desmond insisted. “My ribs
are injured, that's all.”

“Magnus is right, you know.” Lilianne pulled
a spare quilt over him, then sat down on the bed. “You are stubborn
beyond belief.”

“Magnus is always right,” Desmond
muttered.

“I am weary of listening to you two,” she
declared.
“Why
do you quarrel all the time?”

“Why not?” Desmond asked. He attempted a
shrug, but stopped when he choked and began to cough again. “All
the men in our family quarrel. In our childhood, it was father
against son and brother against brother. Especially our older
brother, Walcott, against Magnus and me. I think he hated both of
us from the day we were born. I suppose Walcott thought we intruded
on his rightful territory. But we didn't. We couldn't. Father never
loved any of us, so he never showed favoritism to one son over the
others. I was glad to be sent away to be fostered elsewhere, and as
soon as I was knighted I bid a final farewell to Ashendown and
never returned.”

“Yes,” Magnus said. “You quarreled with
Walcott one last time and then, after giving him a broken nose, you
ran away, leaving me to deal with his fury and with Father's anger
over what you had done. By then I was used to being blamed for your
mischief, so I knew what punishment to expect. For your quarrel
with Walcott, I endured yet another beating from Father’s rod. When
he died a few months later, Walcott turned me out of Ashendown on
the same day that Father was buried.”

“You should have had the courage to go when I
did,” Desmond said. “If we had left together, you could have
avoided all that unpleasantness, as I did. But then, while I have
the knack of departing just in time, you always feel obligated to
remain and face the consequences, don't you?”

An awkward silence followed Desmond's mocking
words, until Magnus spoke again. “If the truth be told, I envied
you the freedom you seized by leaving. I was more than ready to
leave, myself, and only stayed because Father was old and ill. I
owed him my presence in his last days, for whatever comfort my
being there gave him. Walcott couldn't be bothered with him.
Someone had to see to his care.”

“I'll wager he never once thanked you for
staying,” Desmond said.

“I didn't do it expecting thanks,” Magnus
said. “I did it because it was the right thing to do.”

“Of course.” Desmond put a wealth of sarcasm
into those two words.

“You are speaking of lives devoid of all
love,” Lilianne cried. “Magnus, you've told me your mother died
when you were babies, but was there no other woman who cared about
you?”

“The lady of the castle where Desmond and I
were fostered taught us to be polite to women,” Magnus said, “but
she most certainly did not love us.”

“She didn't even like us,” Desmond added. “To
her, we were no more than twin nuisances, which she had to tolerate
because her husband and our father were old friends.”

“How sad,” Lilianne said, thinking of two
little boys growing up without affection or tenderness. “How
fortunate Gilbert and I were to know our parents loved us. We love
each other dearly. I cannot imagine not loving your own
brother.”

“When we were small,” Desmond said, sounding
as if the words were being dragged out of him against his will,
“Magnus always protected me because he was bigger, even though he
is younger, by half an hour. Many a time he fought Walcott for my
sake. Now that I think about it, I must admit, Magnus did a
competent job of getting all of us safely to the
Daisy
and
back to England.”

“I think you do care about each other,”
Lilianne said to Magnus.

“We are nothing like you and Gilbert,” he
said.

“You risked your life to rescue Desmond!” she
cried.

“I was ordered to do it,” Magnus said.

“You did it
against
Royce’s orders!
You are as stubborn as he is!” Lilianne stood up. “I am going to
leave you alone together, and I pray you will talk to each other.
Not quarrel –
talk
, as brothers should talk. I cannot
believe there is no love between you.”

“Is she truly so naive?” Lilianne heard
Desmond ask as she pulled the door closed behind her.

“Not naive at all,” Magnus said. “She is
remarkably wise.”

* * * * *

An hour or two later, Magnus knocked on
Lilianne's chamber door.

“Thank you,” he said as soon as he stepped
inside.

“Have you and Desmond made peace?”

“I'm not sure. We did talk seriously, for the
first time in many years. I will never understand why Desmond
willingly became a spy and he cannot agree with my reasons for the
way I live my life. At least, we aren't quarreling any more; we are
listening to each other, and that is your doing.”

“You will grow closer, in time.”

“A lot of time.” He amended her statement
with a rueful smile. “I can only stay a moment. Royce wants to see
me.”

“I hoped we'd have a chance to speak alone
before you leave with King Henry,” she whispered. “There is so much
I want to say to you.”

“Don't say it. Don't break my heart, or
yours.” He caught her hands, holding them against his chest. “I
would die for you. But I have nothing to offer you, no roof under
which I might shelter you, and so I cannot ask for what I want most
in this world.

“There is only one thing I am able to do for
you, and I’ve done it,” he said. “At my request, Royce has agreed
to offer you a place at Wortham Castle, as companion to his
daughter. Alice will go to Wortham once William is healthy enough
to travel, so you will have your dear friend near.”

“Why would you ask anything of Royce? I
thought you were angry with him for not providing all the
information you needed about Erland before ever you set out for
France the first time,” she said.

“So I was. I’m still angry about that. But
I’ve been to Wortham and I’ve met Royce’s daughter. I think you
will be content there.”

“Content?” she repeated. “Magnus, I don't
want to be
content!
It's not enough, not after knowing you.
Not after what we've had together.”

“I will ache for you every day of my life,”
he said. “I'll never touch another woman. And if ever you have need
of my knightly services, send for me and I'll come to you. I will
always know where you are, Lilianne.”

“Don't pretend and don't lie to me!” She
wanted him to kiss her, to touch her in the most intimate way. She
longed for him to tumble her onto the bed and take her with the
same swift-flaring passion they had known during their voyage to
France and again on the way back to England. The thought of Magnus
deep inside her body made her tremble with a desire she knew she
must repress, for she was certain that Magnus was restraining
himself for her sake. “Once you leave Richton, it’s entirely likely
that I will never see you again,” she whispered.

“Probably not,” he admitted sadly. “But I
will see you every time I close my eyes, every time I look at the
sea or the summer evening sky – and every time I board a ship, I'll
think of you climbing up the net of the
Daisy,
with your
feet bare and your skirts hiked up to your knees.”

“Desmond is right,” she accused him out of
her pain and loss. “You are much too honest and sensible.”

“Not where you are concerned! Would an honest
man make love to a maiden he knows he can never have? Would a
sensible man kiss you and then walk away from you to meet with the
king's spymaster?”

“Never say you're going to undertake another
mission for Royce?” she cried.

“Hush, don't look so frightened. I’m far too
sensible for that,” he promised with a sad, little smile. “We are
only going to decode the documents I found in Erland's room.”

One finger tilted her chin up, holding her so
he could kiss her. His mouth was tender on hers, and she felt the
sorrow in him, which matched her own grief. She couldn’t prevent
the tears from trickling down her cheeks. Magnus wiped them away
before he kissed her again, slowly this time, carefully, as if he
was memorizing the way it felt to stand mouth to mouth with her,
knowing it was for the last time.