Castles Burning Part Two (4 page)

“Okay.” I said,
after I swallowed. I took a calming breath, the chocolate really did help me feel better; it was dark and full of coconut, the sweet flavor lingered in my mouth as I concentrated on Chief’s words as he spoke carefully to me.

“I’ve arranged f
or you to see the ship psychiatrist three times a week. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings you will head up to the chapel after cleaning stations and you’ll spend an hour with him.” He smiled at me.

“Yes Chief, T
hank you.” I said nodding, I was very embarrassed, but I knew it was for the best.

“You’ve been though a lot, but this will pass. We are trained to deal with situations that are scary
, if you were a civilian, you might be a lot more shaken up.” He said reassuringly.

“Yes Chief
, I understand.” I twisted the Kleenex in my hands.

I felt a presence behind me and turned to look at the door
, Cross glanced in the office at me, placing his hands on the handrails and pulling himself quickly up the ladder well, he glanced at me from the corner of his eye once more as he did so. When I turned my eyes back to Chief, he was staring at Cross, I saw something odd in his eyes, but it was gone before I could pinpoint it, the enigmatic smile instantly returning. I felt a twinge of suspicious flower in my belly.

“Well, get some sleep
Fireman, long day tomorrow.” Chief said, turning back to his computer, “I’ll be heading to my quarters as soon as I finish getting these frogs.” He winked at me, his magnetic smile playing at his lips again.

He really was gorgeous, a light sprinkling of gray hairs here and there, he was distinguished looking, his large Adams apple bobbed beneath the nest of stubble and for a moment I imagined dragging my teeth along it, and down his tall, lean body. I blinked rapidly when I realized Chief’s eyes had turned to mine whil
e I was lost in my own thoughts, my heart sank into my stomach and I popped up from my seat.

“Have a good night Chief.” I said
, quickly exiting his office.

“You too…
Sonny is it?” He asked. I looked back and he was leaning back in his chair, eyeing me with clear determination. He held a pen in his right hand and was slowly clicking it.

“Um, yeah in school some people called me that.
But, no one did at my previous duty station.”

“Well, then have
a good night Sonny.” Chief said, leaning forward again, and resuming his game.

***

              The second night we were at sea after stopping in California and picking up the air wing, I was laying in my rack, half asleep, half awake from hearing a soft voice announce that there was a male on deck.

“Hey Carlson.” I heard, as a
gentle hand rested on my side and shook me softly. I lay there for a moment, pretending to be asleep, enjoying the brief touch of another human after the last week at sea.

I
sighed as the hand withdrew, and I turned to lay on my back, and opened my curtain to look up at him sleepily. “What is it?” I asked groggily, resting a hand on my forehead.

“You’ve got watch training with me tonight, come on get up and get dressed.”
He said kindly, and I saw now that it was Cross.

“Okay.” I said
dazedly as I rolled on to my stomach and out of my rack. I’d forgotten that I was only in a shirt and my underwear, and Cross turned his back to me quickly as I looked up at him in shock. I grinned as I slipped into my coveralls, what a gentleman,
nice tush too
, I thought as I glanced at his back.

“Let me use the head really fast.” I whispered.

He nodded and I hurried into the bathroom, I used the toilet and washed my hands and face, waking myself up a little before I brushed my teeth. I looked at my watch; it was three thirty in the morning. I yawned as I stepped out of the head and closed the door behind me. I finally noticed that Cross’s moustache was gone. I locked up my rack and locker, put my hair into a quick bun.

“Where’d the
stache go?” I asked quietly as we made our way along the darkened passageways, we stopped on the mess decks to get a cup of coffee on our way to Damage Control Central.

“I always
leave it to grow out when we’re in port, but when we get underway after California I shave it, Chief doesn’t like us to have it because it can affect the seal on our fire masks.” He said without looking at me.

He was only a few inches taller than I was, but something about him made him seem to take up more space than he should
, as if he might swell up larger than the small passageway. He had such an attractive face, so purely attractive, yet something about his brooding black eyes was unnerving and almost foreboding against his fair skin and hair.

“Makes sense.” I said, following
alongside him quickly.

We came to a very small compartment with tons of gadgets and meters, knobs on control panels were blinking and some were lit up. There was an officer, and a chief, and one of the other DC1’s that I had not had a chance to meet yet.

“About time.” He said slurping loudly from his mug of steaming coffee; he was a larger man, with a beer gut and a thick dark moustache to match his hair.

“Sorry DC1, no one told Carlson she had Watch so I had to go and get her from her rack.” Cross said
as he crossed the small compartment to retrieve logs from a desk and bring them to me. He opened his mouth to speak to me just as DC1 continued.

“No use explaining now. Just get down and dump Bessie.” He said.

I watched as Cross ground his teeth, his jaw flexing, and he tossed the logs onto the table. I got the feeling that he was not fond of being ordered around, even though he was only a fireman as I was, and had no authority. He crossed to a drawer and donned a thick green belt, and grabbed an orange workbag. He motioned for me to put on the other green belt while he fastened his own to his narrow hips. My mouth almost watered at the sight of it, his wide shoulders tapering to his waist, his coveralls were rolled up, exposing his thick forearms. I wondered what he looked like without clothes on. I had to tighten my belt several notches, and as soon as I had it on we left the control room.

We walked the length of the ship
quickly, and I struggled to keep pace with Cross, until we were completely aft, at the tail of the ship. Cross lifted the heavy metal lever of a water tight door, and held it open as I stepped through. I had never been to this part of the ship before, something about it seemed dark, and foreboding.

“Female on deck.” Cross announced as he secured the door behind us. It smelled like a men’s locker room in the birthing, I wrinkled my nose at him and he smiled crookedly
, one deep dimple giving itself away. “This is our birthing.” He told me.

“I figured. It says DC and R on the door.” I pointed. He nodded and opened a water tight door that was on the floor
, it took only a second for my eyes to adjust to the red lighting.

“After you.” He offered.

I stepped over the hole, and lowered myself down to the ladder well below. Cross and I went down several decks before we came to a compartment that made me feel even more uncomfortable, we must have been close to the Hull of the ship. There was an devastating sound vibrating along the steel that surrounded us, and I put my hands over my ears and watched Cross as he went to a control box and took out two pairs of earmuffs, and handed a pair to me. When they were over my ears Cross held his hand out to help me into the next compartment down, which was quite a drop, this was obviously an area that had been designed for taller men to deal with.

I held Cross’s hand as I stepped into another hole
in a watertight door in the cold steel floor, my foot didn’t find the rung below me until I stretched my leg as far as I could. I was terrified of falling, but Cross held both of my wrists securely while I grasped the lip of the manhole, until I had a handle on the rung, and then followed me down into the cream colored room. There was a large pump, with valves and a large wrench hanging on the wall.

“This is the shit tank.” He said, as he pulled on a pair of work gloves and the wrench from the wall. His arm muscles bulged as he lifted it.

“Really?” I asked watching as he placed the huge wrench on a valve and used his foot to turn it. It was so clean, and there wasn’t any smell, I wasn’t sure if he was joking or not.

“Yep,
well, it’s CHT, but you know it’s sewage so…” I wrinkled my nose at him, and he laughed easily. “Yeah, well, we gotta dump it sometimes. When Johnson has to come down here she always wakes one of us up to come down with her, you need to do the same. No one is ever allowed to come down here alone. It’s too dangerous.”

“Oh?”
I stared at the huge tank; there were large valves and pipes snaking out from it. It almost looked like a jungle gym. Behind the tank, on a thick bolt hung a wrench that was so large it almost looked like a toy. “It’s so creepy down here.” I shivered, even though it was rather warm down in this part of the ship.

“Yeah, some people died down here in the nineties and it’s been division policy ever since to come down in pairs.” He said, as he flipped a switch and there was a loud
whirring sound, and the contents flushed through the huge pipes of the tank. He held out his hand and motioned to the room above us. “This has to run for twenty minutes!” He hollered, so loud that his face turned pink, but I could barely hear him over the tank as it ran. I simply nodded.

I took his hand and he gave me a boost so I could reach the hand rung and pull myself up. I felt his hand move
from grasping my hip, and slide to my bottom as he shoved me up from the compartment. I felt awkward for a second but composed myself by the time he appeared after me, and I followed him up the ladder, the sound growing more distant, and quiet, until we were back in the birthing. It was quiet; someone was snoring softly somewhere at the back of the birthing but other than that there was nothing, I felt sleepiness drift over me. Cross sat down at a card table that had four chairs around it and I took the seat across from him.

“So what else do we do on this watch?” I asked.

“Whatever DC1 tells us to, but mostly just roving, wandering around the ship making sure our stuff isn’t messed with, we check sounding tanks which affect the list, or tilt of the ship, we have to make sure there isn’t water in the ones that aren’t supposed to have water. Stuff like that.” He spoke low, I could barely hear him.

“Oh, okay.”

“You’ll be fine, you’ll stand some watches with a few people first, before you’re on your own.” He smiled at me, and again I took notice of how extraordinarily attractive he was. “Come on, want a soda?” He asked as he stood and crossed to the compartment door.

“Yeah, that’d be good.” I said, following him to the soda machines that were no more than ten feet from their birthing.

“Here.” He said, handing me one and putting his ship money card back in his breast pocket.

“Thank you. I owe you one.” I laughed.

He smiled down at me as he held the birthing door open for me and we resumed our spot at the small table. He had deep dimples, and he kind of looked down when he smiled as if he were keeping a secret, or knew something I didn’t. His lips were seductive and looked soft and his dark eyes were mesmerizing, like twin onyx glittering beneath thick eyelashes; they were endless, powerful, hooded like a bird of prey.

As I watched his smile fade slowly from his feat
ures, and his eyes narrow, I swallowed hard at the reaction between my legs. I felt a shift in the air between us; I suddenly wanted to read all of his movements from beneath him. I wanted to come to know his pain, and his love, and his passion by the force and control with which he wielded it, and a part of me knew he could.

The craving was raw, and never had I felt it before toward anyone in this dark way.
It was almost unnerving.

Since I lef
t the hospital I’d had the strongest desire to be whipped, or strangled, fucked to the point of exhaustion. I craved anything to satisfy this urge to not be a victim of the attack. I craved anything that would take the power over my body, and put it back in my hands, so I could give control and power to someone to wield over me on my own terms, someone I trusted, and respected. The red lights that lit the birthing shadowed half of Cross’s face, as he tore his dark eyes from mine and stood up.

“
Let’s get down there; it’s about time to turn that off.” He said, wiping his palms on his thighs before holding a hand out to me to help me down the hole.

Once the ear muffs were secure on my head I c
limbed into the tank room again. I perched on one of the large pipes that twisted from it, and watched Cross as he took the huge wrench to the tank again, his forearm muscles flexing as he tightened the valve. The way he carried it back to the wall and hung it up reminded me of the many times I’d watched Aden hang his flogger back on the wall; my wide eyes followed him across the room from beneath my lashes.

Every move he made was calculated, planned, he was confident, graceful, and so mouthwateringly masculine. I licked my lips as he slowly turned to face me, his eyes
guarded as he switched off the pump. The sudden silence without the sound of the loud pump was unnerving. His stance held every ounce of my attention, his legs were hip width apart, and his shoulders were slightly raised, he commanded every bit of energy in the room, and he didn’t even realize he was doing it.