Catalyst (7 page)

“Put me down, Bastian.” I didn’t leave room for argument in my tone. He set me on my feet and I leaned against him because my legs still felt wobbly. The long-sleeved waterproof shirt the pirates had given me felt clammy and scratchy against my skin. The sand adhering to it underneath even worse. I wanted it off, but I wanted to see,
to really see,
Jacks more.

He stood in the center of a huge room of gray stone. Legs spread, arms crossed, he stared back at me. His hair, cut close to his head, was still mostly the dark brown of Gowlen nuts, but threads of gray wove through the hair at his temples. He was leaner, more muscular and harder looking, those ice-blue eyes of his pricking like shards of glass.

“You look good, Vala.”

I didn’t. I was sweaty, pale according to Bastian, and my hair clung to my face and neck. Not that I cared what he thought of me.

“The last you heard? Have you kept tabs on me, Jackson?”

“Rumors on the wires, that’s all.”

“That’s shit and you know it. I’m not anyone to make the news—any news. And the work I do isn’t online anywhere. I
fix
things.”

He surprised me when something dark passed through his expression. “I heard you didn’t follow your dreams. And you had all those scholarships.”

I’d planned to study kithronite, find ways to use it to better environments. Those plans tanked not only with the loss of the scholarships, but the rare access to kithronite. And my heartbreak had quite a bit to do with my choices, too. “The
Kithran
scholarships, you mean?”

His lips tightened. He looked away and in that moment, I glimpsed years of pain on his face. The man had changed. A lot. I narrowed my eyes when I realized my love for him was still buried somewhere inside. Anger made me ball my hands into fists, take a step toward him. I wanted to hurt him.

“I wonder why my brother dropped you on the wrong side of the falls.”

“I should have realized that pirate captain was related to you,” I muttered. “Same cruel eyes.”

He lifted a brow. “Cruel? Claybourne?” He shook his head. “Not likely. But he was supposed to kidnap the Tracker. How did you end up in his net?”

“Stupidity runs in the family?”

The corner of his mouth twisted. He looked at Bastian. “And you are?”

“Not interested in sharing that info. You got the wrong people, so let us go home.” Bastian pulled me back against him, and I could almost feel the exhaustion pouring off him.

I looked up to give him a reassuring smile, but another wave of dizziness hit me. I slumped a little before regaining my feet.

Frowning, Jacks stalked to the corner of the room to a simulator. One of the huge, old-fashioned ones that took up serious space. I hated the things. They worked with a synthetic, vitamin-rich paste and the machine formed it into whatever you asked for. Some things stored inside were real—like water, some fruits, vegetables and spirits. But everything else tasted like artificially flavored chewy rubber. Jacks brought tubes of water to us.

A few swallows of water and I started to feel more like myself. “So, are you going to call the stupid captain brother? He can’t be far.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t. You can’t leave. I’m too close and can’t risk anyone finding out where I am.”

“Too close to what?”

“Revenge.”

My legs finally felt sturdy so I stalked to Jacks and shoved the empty tube at him. “I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be anywhere near you.”

“Then why send the Tracker after me?”

“You know why,” I whispered as I watched the color leave his face. “I just wanted to know.
You soulless bastard
. I saw you running from the caves.
I saw you
.”

He closed his eyes. “And all these years you’ve thought—”

“
Known
,” I interrupted. “Known that what happened to Kithra had something to do with you. Are you going to tell me it didn’t?”

He shook his head. “I can’t.”

The cry that tore from my throat was loud and I only had time to see his eyes go wide before I slammed my fist into his nose. He stumbled back, obviously surprised by the strength of the blow. I didn’t hesitate, didn’t give him time to recover—I hit him two more times before he grabbed my arms in a viselike grip and yanked me up to him.

“Take a breath, Vala. Let me explain.”

“You need to get your hands off her.” Bastian’s tone was deceptively quiet, but the thread of warning came through loud and clear.

“Go ahead, Jackson. Tell the kid why you won’t let us go home. Tell him why you were running from the mines days before the explosions that killed almost everyone we knew. Tell him.”

“The kid?” He looked at Bastian over my shoulder. “How old are you?”

“Twenty.”

A wry smile twisted Jacks’ lips as he looked back down at me. “It’s like déjà vu. How old are you these days?”

“You know very well how old I am, because you talked about nothing but my age back then.” I tried to yank my arms from Jacks’ grip but he held strong. He didn’t even let go to wipe the blood slowly dripping from his nose. “Tell me what you did to Kithra.”

“It’s not an easy story and certainly not one for two exhausted and hungry Gwinarians. Let me feed you both and let you get some rest.”

“Years, Jackson. I’ve waited
years
to know the truth.”

He shook me. “So have the rest of the worlds, Vala.” He smeared the blood from his nose onto the shoulder of his T-shirt. “You going to hit me again?”

“Ever?”

He grinned. “I know better than to ask for that.”

I narrowed my eyes. “You can ask nothing from me. Do you understand? Nothing.”

He let go, his expression closed. “Yeah, Vala. I understand.” He pointed to the simulator. “It’s fully stocked with most foods. No Kithran fare.”

“Caused painful memories, did it?”

This time the look that passed through his eyes hurt me. Physically hurt me.

“More painful than you can imagine.”

“I doubt that. You didn’t lose anyone important in that blast, after all.”

“Didn’t I?” He walked to the other door in the room and opened it. “I had a bathroom with a shower installed. Go ahead and program your preferences in the panel and get showers after you eat. You’re welcome to use my bed, but I know you probably won’t. Unfortunately, I don’t have a lot of luxuries here and that bed is pretty much the only soft place to lie down. I suggest you get past your anger long enough to get a good rest.”

“Where are you going?”

“To get some fresh food.”

He left the room and I sagged on the edge of the bed and buried my face in my hands.

“You think that man is responsible for all the explosions on Kithra?”

I looked up at Bastian. I don’t think he even realized he was swaying in place. Even though I hated to admit it, Jacks was right. We needed food and rest first. Then we’d be strong enough to deal with this ridiculous situation. Shaking my head, I stalked to the simulator and programmed a simple vegetable pie into it. It was a dish most simulators couldn’t mess up. A six-inch diameter personal serving of vegetable protein, spices and enough nutrients to replenish our bodies. One minute later, I handed the pie to Bastian, who looked around for a table.

“There’s only the one in the corner with all the clothes on it. No chairs. It’s hard to believe Jacks lives like this. He always liked his creature comforts.”

Bastian sat on the end of the bed. “I get the feeling he’s nothing like he was when you knew him. The man has suffered.”

“Good.”

He took a bite of the pie, chewed while he stared at me. He swallowed. “Vala, I think he hates himself as much as you hate him. Just listen to him—that’s all I ask. Sometimes…sometimes there’s more to a person’s story. Reasons why they did bad things.”

I grabbed another pie and sat next to him. “Why do you care whether I listen to him or not?”

He shrugged. “The man’s got a glare that makes my balls shrink, but I don’t sense any danger from him.” He looked down at his lap. “I’ve become very good at picking out bad seeds over the years. I don’t think he’s one of them. And, Vala, the man cares for you. Deeply.”

I shook my head. “Bastian—”

“No,” he interrupted. “You’re too smart not to know there’s more to the story.”

I took a bite of the pie, surprised to find it was better than I expected. I searched Bastian’s eyes, feeling a smile tug at the corner of my mouth. “You are something else. How did you end up so kind after growing up in an orphanage?”

He shrugged, chewed another bite of food. “I’m not as kind as you think. I’ve done some bad things, Vala.” He set the plate in his lap. “Really bad things. I hope the people I’ve hurt will someday forgive me.”

“Who did you hurt, Bastian?”

“A friend. A long time ago. I lost him when I should have held on to him.”

There was a lot more to this story, but I saw true exhaustion sagging his shoulders, watched as his chewing grew slower. I hurriedly finished my pie, then looked around, trying to figure out how Jacks washed his plates. Shrugging, I set them on the rickety table then came back to the bed to hold out my hand. “Let’s hold each other up in that shower.”

We ended up literally doing that. Jacks’ palm reader had a glitch and I had to program our preferences into it twice, and still the first stream of water that hit us was freezing. I would have enjoyed thoroughly soaping Bastian from head to toe, but we were too tired for anything more than a perfunctory wash before we stood under the stream and just held on to each other. The water was nice and warm now, and I placed my cheek on his chest, listening to his heartbeat as I closed my eyes.

Bastian had his back against the simulated glass panel as I leaned on him. Even as exhausted as we were, desire uncurled between us. What I felt for him was growing stronger, and it was so very different from the desperate ache I’d carried for Jacks. This was warmer, comforting…yet all those warm fuzzies were laced with an edgy excitement. I pulled back and looked up to find his eyes closed, a small smile on his sexy mouth. I stood on my toes, wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my breasts to his chest. He slowly opened those dark eyes.

“We’ll figure out a way to get home,” I whispered.

He stroked his hands down my back, spread his legs a little so I could nestle closer to him. I loved the feel of his cock against me but I didn’t have the urge to climb on him or tug him down onto me. I just wanted to hold him and feel this hum of desire.

“Vala, I want to go home, too. But I am enjoying this little adventure, I have to admit.”

I chuckled. “You just enjoy the sex.”

“Immensely. Have I told you that your slick, wet body makes me want to do all kinds of naughty things? Things I’m too damned tired to do.”

“I don’t want to have sex in here where Jacks can walk in at any time.” I rested against him again. “You do feel really nice.”

He slid his hands back up to my neck and lifted my face to his. Warm lips met mine, opened mine, his tongue slipping leisurely inside to caress. When he let go, he whispered against my lips, “If anything, at least this whole mess brought us together.”

The words didn’t make my heart skip at all and that surprised me. Somehow I knew that when all this was done and we were back on Kithra—because I could believe no differently—Bastian and I would have some sort of relationship. I didn’t know if I was ready for a permanent bond, but I couldn’t imagine wanting to give up the way he made me feel either.

“What are you thinking?” He kissed me again.

“You know women usually ask that question, right?”

“I ask when I want to know. The most interesting emotions are flitting through your eyes right now.” He caressed my jaw with his thumb, stroking slowly, back and forth. “You realize I have no intention of letting you go when we’re back.”

“You plan to move right in?”

“I don’t have any plans other than to spend as much time as possible inside you.”

Laughter spilled from my throat. “Blunt. I like it.”

He pushed the air dry button, and we helped each other dry off by stroking water off each other’s skin. I had Bastian’s wonderfully muscular ass in my hands when I happened to glance around him to see Jacks, once again leaning against a doorway. Watching us.

I wanted to yell at him to leave, but a bad, bad part of me wanted to show him what he lost. Reaching in deep, I pulled on the last of my energy reserve, stroking my hands up Bastian’s back and then down again. Slipping one hand between the crack of his ass, I lightly rubbed his opening. Bastian sucked in a breath and spread his legs and I stroked around his hip to the front for a better angle. I slicked water off his thighs, slid my hand between his legs and pressed him there again. “Oh, you
like
that,” I purred as his eyes closed and his head tilted back. He threw everything of himself into the sensations when I put my hands on him.
Suns, it did something to me.
Glancing around him, I noticed Jacks had left. At that point, I didn’t care. It wasn’t about a show, it was about touching this ki…no,
man
, I was fast growing attached to.