Catch (11 page)

Chapter 15

As I passed Annie’s room, I stopped and thought about going inside to apologize. I trusted Gabby to have already done it, but I wanted to check if she was okay myself. I was about to reach for the doorknob when I heard giggling coming from inside. Chiara and Annie were laughing about something, which was enough to tell me she was doing okay, and I was glad Chiara was around.

I continued on until the kitchen, where I found Mom filling up a large pot with water from the kitchen sink. I came up behind her and kissed her lightly on the cheek.

“How are you, my son?” Ma asked quietly. I remained still behind her, unsure whether to tell her how I really felt. Realizing she was waiting for an answer, I sighed and stepped back. Pulling up a seat at the dining table, I sat down and picked at a loose thread on the tablecloth. Without looking up, I heard Ma put down the pot and pull up the seat beside me.

“To be honest, I don’t know, Mamma.”

Ma took my chin in her hands and lifted my head so I had no choice but to face her. “I’ve told you this before and I’ll tell you this again. What you did was a brave thing,
mio
figlio
. I have never once thought any different of you and I will never. I am proud of the man you have become. I am proud of all my children, my family. My only wish is for you to be happy. Pretending that what happened didn’t happen, and hiding your feelings from the people who matter, isn’t going to make you that way.”

My brows came together. “Mamma, that’s not what I’m talking about.”

“I know, my son.” She smiled and squeezed my cheek before giving it a gentle pat. “I see the way you look at that girl. You love her, but you won’t allow yourself to see this because you’re scared she won’t love you back.”

I sighed again and let my head drop as soon as she pulled her hand away. “It’s a risk I’m too afraid to take.” I tried to ignore the thoughts of a life without Evie by my side.

“Why? You think she won’t like the person inside here?” she asked, pointing a firm finger into my chest where my heart was. “Son, how do you think you have gotten to where you are today? By fearing the challenges life threw at you? Yes, you’ve suffered greatly and whether you like to admit it or not, it was because of me. I should have had the courage to leave your father long before you were born. But if I had done that, I wouldn’t have been blessed with two more beautiful children, and I cannot imagine a life without you or your sister, Annabelle. Do you think I worry about what happened to me in the past? No, I look forward, son. Only forward. I see my children and my grandchildren. You are all I need to make me happy.”

My brows pulled together. “Mom, you aren’t making any sense.”

“Just tell her. You two have a big future together; I can sense it.” It was the last thing she said before patting my cheek softly and turning back to the stove.

I just sat there and watched her in silence, not really sure what she was rambling on about anymore. Was she talking about telling Evangeline how I felt or telling her about what really happened to my father? Fuck, why was everything so confusing?

I woke Evie up, at the request of my mom, when dinner was ready, and to my surprise, it ran smoothly. Sure, there was some tension in the air, but all the girls, especially Gabby, held in their thoughts and enjoyed dinner for what it was: a chance to spend time as a family. Too bad the peace didn’t last long.

I was sitting on the sofa when I heard the plate smash from in the kitchen. I should’ve known Gabby was up to something the moment she volunteered to help Evie with the dishes. I’d just sort of hoped she’d done it from the goodness of her heart instead.

“What the fuck is going on, Gabby?” I shouted, running into the kitchen and throwing my arms around a crying Evie.

“Nothing, we were just talking!” Gabriella responded angrily.

“
Talking
? Are you fucking serious? What the hell is your problem, Gabby?”

“What makes her special, Ryan? How do you know she’s different from the other girls you’ve been with?” she shouted back.

I needed to end this before I exploded with anger and one of us regretted saying something we didn’t mean. Giving Evangeline a squeeze, I let her go and turned to face my sister. “Because she
is
, damn it! And you need to back off before you do something you’ll regret tomorrow,” I warned.

“She’s just after your money! Can’t you see that? I won’t let her ruin this family, Ryan! And you
know
she will! You’ll tell her the truth and she’ll run and tell the world! You can’t trust her! She’ll hurt you!”

Part of me knew Gabby was only looking out for me, but I didn’t need her to; I could handle things on my own. She still had
no
right to speak to Evangeline the way she had.

“God damn it, Gabby! Evangeline is Rupert Montgomery’s daughter! She doesn’t need my money, and if I choose to tell her the truth about Dad then that’s
my
decision! You got that?
I
have to live with the consequences, not you!” I roared.

“
What?
” Gabby suddenly said. Her face dropped as realization dawned on her. “I didn’t know that…”

“Of course you didn’t!” I should’ve lowered my voice, but I was far too angry to do so. Gabby needed to learn a lesson once and for all. “Because you didn’t bother to ask or give us a chance to explain, did you? I warned you! I’ve given you enough chances and you’ve continued to act disrespectfully toward Evangeline―”

“Stop fighting!”

The high-pitched shout coming from Annabelle caused me to freeze. A new fear flooded me knowing my baby sister had just heard our argument. How much? I was about to find out.

“What really happened to Dad, Ryan?”

“Annie…” was all I could say as panic took over. My life was about to come crashing down. I was going to lose my baby sister forever. She was never going to forgive me for this. How could she?

I barely heard Chiara’s next words as she tried to escort Annabelle out of the room. But Annie wasn’t having any of it. She’d heard enough to know we were keeping a huge secret from her.

“You all think of me as your naïve little sister,” Annie began. “Well, I’m not, and I’m not stupid either. Do you think I haven’t noticed the way Mom avoids talking about him, and that she took down all the family pictures of him as soon as I moved out? Gabby, you’ve
never
had a nice thing to say about him.”

“That’s not―” I heard Gabriella reply but it was cut off by Annabelle.

“Shut up! It is and you know it. And Ryan, remember those times growing up when I’d beg you to tell me stories of Dad? I saw the pain it caused you but you still told them anyway. And later, I’d hear you crying in your room. At first, I thought it was because you missed him, but one night I overheard you and Gabby whispering. I heard her say, ‘he deserved what he got’ and that ‘we were better off without him’.”

I kept my eyes to the floor, unable to look at her as the guilt weighed down my heart.

“Annie… Dad died from an accident,” Gabby said in a slow, cracked voice.

“Annabelle’s right,” I said in a voice I barely recognized as my own. My sister deserved to know what I’d done all those years ago. If she wanted to hate me, call the police, or wish me out of her life, she had every right to. “It’s time we tell her the truth. She has a right to know.”

“Ry…this isn’t the right way to do it. Wait until―”

“Chiara, there
is
no other way,” I reminded her.

“You can’t—”

“Annie, I killed him. He’s dead because of me,” I admitted, the pain inside so much to bear I cried.

Chapter 16

“I don’t believe you,” Annabelle replied shakily. “This is all just a joke you guys made up to scare me.”

“No, Annie, it’s not,” Chiara said. “It’s the truth. But it’s not Ryan’s fault, and you need to listen to him. He would never hurt any of us, you know that, right?”

I forced my eyes off the ground to look at my baby sister. She was hurting, and I was the reason.

“Why, Ry? Why did you do it? Why aren’t you in jail?”

For the first time, I noticed a change in Annabelle. She feared me. I was no longer the older brother she idolized; I was now a monster.

I couldn’t answer her; I didn’t know what to say, but I was thankful when Gabby stepped in. “Annie, there is
so
much you don’t know, and I promise we will tell you everything. But first, you have to understand that what Ryan did was brave. He stood up to that abusive man and saved our whole family.”

“I want to hear it from my brother, Gabby,” Annie replied.

The room fell silent again, waiting for me to speak.

I cleared my throat and prepared myself for the hardest conversation yet. “The night he died… He came home drunk. Gabby and I came out of the room and saw him hitting Mom.” My vision blurred and I struggled to force the tears away, remembering how that unforgettable night played out. “Gabby stood up to him. She shouted and threw a dead mouse we were playing with at him. That’s how she got hurt. Dad lost it and started hitting Gabby.” I had to stop, choking on the tears falling down my face as the horrid images flashed in my mind.

“Ryan thought he’d killed her and ran at him. Only our father lost his balance and fell down the stairs,” Chiara said, finishing the story I couldn’t. “Gabby broke her right hand and had multiple fractures to her face. She woke up two days later from a coma he put her in while Ma recovered from a fractured eye socket. He wasn’t a nice man, Annie. Did he deserve to die? Maybe not, but you see, it wasn’t Ry’s fault.”

My eyes flicked up to Gabby. She was silent, just like me. Our eyes locked onto one another’s and a sense of knowing passed between us. This was the reason why we were so close; why we shared a special bond no amount of arguing could break.

“Why didn’t the police take you away?” Annie asked me in a much softer voice.

“Mom. She asked me to go to my room and if the police ever questioned me to say I didn’t see anything. She told them after he beat up his daughter he turned back for her but slipped and fell, killing himself in the process,” I answered, risking a glance toward my baby sister.

There were tears in her eyes and the poor thing looked terrified, but what she did then completely overwhelmed me. Annabelle made her way slowly toward me and threw her arms around me, hugging me as tightly as her tiny frame could manage. “I love you, Ry.” She pulled away and turned to face our other two siblings. “I love you all. But
please
don’t ever keep a secret this big from me again. It hurts that I didn’t get a chance to know him, but it pains me more knowing he was a monster and you all had to go through that. Mamma, too. We can pull through this.”

A tiny smile tugged at the corner of my mouth as Annie wrapped an arm around my waist and leaned into me. I hugged her, bent down and kissed the top of her head. “I love you, too, Annie,” I managed to get out before tears filled my eyes again.

Chiara and Gabby made their way over and we all hugged each other tightly. Annie was right; we were going to pull through it, I was sure.

****

The girls and I stayed downstairs for a little while longer before heading up to bed. I wasn’t expecting Evangeline to still be awake but she was. After the night I had, I just wanted everything to go away. Part of me was glad Annie knew; I no longer harbored such a terrifying secret from my family, and Annabelle didn’t hate me. But there was one more person who meant the world to me, and if she didn’t take it well…

I could sense Evie awake, as I lay there in the dark, unable to sleep. I didn’t say a word, too scared I’d ruin everything and she’d leave me all alone.

Soon, I felt my body succumb to the tiredness, but I was suddenly woken up by the gentle sound of the bedroom door closing. I shifted and immediately realized Evangeline was not by my side. Feeling around the entire bed, I sat up and decided to find her.

I found her on the sofa, Duke by her side. When she heard me, she turned around and gasped.

“Ryan, you have a game tomorrow night. You need to go back to sleep.”

“I can’t sleep without you,” I answered truthfully. “I can’t explain it, but I need you there, Evangeline. Please, come back to bed with me.”

“Ryan…I don’t think that’s a good idea―”

My heart ached. She’d heard the conversation. She’d heard it all. “I would never hurt you, Evangeline. You believe me, right?”

“I know you wouldn’t… It’s just that I want to be on my own right now.”

“You’re afraid of me…”

“No, I’m not.” She was lying. I knew she was lying; she just didn’t have the nerve to admit the truth.

“Then please…come back to bed,” I tried again, almost needy.

I reached over for her but to my shock, Duke snapped at me.
What the fuck? Now my dog doesn’t want anything to do with me?

That was it for me. Part-angry, part-devastated, I marched back into my room, forcing myself not to slam the door behind me.

She hated me.

She thinks you’re a monster.

You don’t deserve her; what did you expect? That she’d still like a murderer?

Murderer. That’s what you are.

My mind continued to hiss malicious things at me and got louder and louder until I couldn’t take it anymore. I picked up the closest thing I could find and threw it at the wall. The sound of the object shattering broke me. I fell hard on my knees as a gut-wrenching sob escaped.

I don’t know how long I was there, but during some point a bright light filled the room and I felt the soft touch of hands on me.
Evangeline. She came back. My angel came back for me.

“I didn’t mean it…I didn’t mean to kill him,” I cried out, unable to stop the tears or my body from trembling.

“Shhh… Everything’s going to be okay,” she hushed, wrapping her arms around me.