Cattle Valley 27 - Alone in a Crowd (8 page)

The statement his mom made in one of the letters suddenly made better sense. She’d said she loved him more after he returned even though he was a completely different man. Even knowing part of what his dad had suffered made a difference to Ryan. He could understand how his mom had felt that way, especially knowing she’d had another man’s child while her husband suffered in a foreign country. Was that why she’d started drinking? Had the guilt of what she’d done been too much for her to deal with sober?

Ryan shut the computer, more confused than ever. Life had been so much simpler when he’d despised his parents. He opened the mini fridge and withdrew two cans of beer before moving to lie on the bed. To distract himself, Ryan pulled out his phone and called Rio as he took a drink.

“Hey,” Rio answered.
“Hey,” Ryan returned. “Is Nate with you?”
“Yeah, he’s right next to me on the couch. Why, you wanna talk to him?” “Why don’t you put me on speaker, so I can talk to you both?” Ryan took another gulp

and winced as the beer burned his throat.
“So, did you see him?” Nate asked.
“Yeah, but he didn’t know who I was.” Ryan went on to tell his partners about the

meeting with his dad. By the time he’d finished the story, he was finished with the first beer and well into the second.
“And you didn’t know any of that?” Rio questioned.
Ryan hated to admit it, but he’d been too damn hurt growing up to ever try and figure out why his dad enjoyed beating on him. “No, none of it until today. Well, I mean, I knew he went to Vietnam, but that’s all. The whole cancer thing’s muddied the waters even more.” “Now what?” Nate asked.
“That’s the part I haven’t figured out yet. I’ll know more once I try to talk to him again tomorrow, but right now, I’m too confused to sort out my feelings.” Ryan finished off his beer and got up to get another. “You know, it’s not very satisfying to hate someone when they don’t even know you.”
“Are you sure he’s not faking it?” Rio wanted to know.
“I’m not positive, but I didn’t see even a flicker of recognition in his eyes when he looked at me.” Ryan rested the open can on his chest. “But whether or not he knows me, I need to figure out if it’s worth holding onto my hatred knowing everything that I know now.”
“Plenty of screwed up soldiers come back from a war, doesn’t give them the right to beat their kids.” Leave it to Rio to put things into perspective. “I mean, I’m sorry the man’s dying, but that’s beside the point.”
“Yeah, I know. I keep telling myself that what he went through isn’t an excuse, but for whatever reason, I didn’t feel like killing him today. That’s the real reason I cut off all ties with them. I was genuinely concerned about what I’d do if I ever came face to face with him again, but it wasn’t like that.”
“Then maybe the best thing for you is to let some of that hatred and anger go,” Nate suggested.
“Hmm. Maybe.” Ryan sighed. “I should go. I’ve got a lot of thinking to do before visiting hours tomorrow. Love you guys.”
“Love you, too,” Nate and Rio said in unison.
“Thanks for listening.”
“Thanks for trusting us enough to talk,” Nate replied.
Ryan hung up and set the phone on the bedside table. He knew he should get ready for bed, but there was no way he’d sleep with his mind whirling with all the new information. He decided to go for a walk instead. He’d have driven outside of town if he could have, but three beers in less than thirty minutes kept him from it. The last thing he needed was to get pulled over.

Smokey wiped his sweating palms on his jeans and stared through the front window of Wynfield’s Department Store. He’d promised Elliott a nice dinner at The Canoe, but all he had to wear was the same damn work clothes he’d worn for years. Unfortunately, Wynfield’s was the only store in town that had clothes suitable for the dinner Elliott deserved.

He waited for Palmer to notice him because walking into the store and facing Ezra’s wrath wasn’t on his agenda for the evening. It took about ten minutes, but eventually Palmer walked by the front window and stopped to stare at Smokey through the glass.

Smokey gestured to his clothes and pointed towards a suit in the window. He hoped Palmer would get the message and open his heart as well as his shop to him. Palmer’s grey eyebrows drew together before he turned and walked away. “Shit,” Smokey mumbled under his breath.

Smokey was almost to his truck when he heard his name.
“Smokey, you coming in or not?” Palmer asked.
Smokey spun around. “Yeah, I mean, yes, I’d like that.” He followed Palmer into the

store. “I know I’m not supposed to shop here, but I’m taking Elliott to The Canoe for dinner and have nothing to wear.”
Palmer surprised Smokey with a smile. “Then you’ve come to the right place.”
Stunned, Smokey stood where he was as Palmer walked deeper into the store.
“Something wrong?” Palmer asked from behind a rack.
“Why’re you being nice to me?” Smokey asked, suspicious.
Palmer handed Smokey a pair of khaki slacks and a black shirt. “Try these. I know you said you wanted a suit, but it’s not necessary and those suits are top dollar.” He gestured to the clothes in Smokey’s hands. “You can never go wrong in the summer with khakis and a nice, quality shirt.”
Smokey held the short sleeved shirt up and shook it. “Seems kinda girly.”
A horrified expression crossed Palmer’s face. “It’s silk-blend, and I assure you, it’s for men, well dressed men.”
Smokey readjusted his black Stetson with his free hand. “I suppose next you’re going to tell me I should leave my hat at home.”
“Has Elliott ever seen you without your hat?” Palmer asked.
It was Smokey’s turn to smile, remembering the heated nights they’d spent together recently. “A time or two.”
Palmer acted as if he didn’t know what Smokey was alluding to and ushered Smokey into the changing room. “I know they’ll fit, I can spot a man’s size the moment I meet him, but I think you’ll feel better spending money once you see how good they look on you.”
Smokey entered the dressing room and quickly changed into the chosen clothes. He was ashamed to admit it, but the girly shirt felt like heaven against his skin. Although he learned almost immediately that he had to be careful not to run his calloused palms down the slick material.
He stepped out of the dressing room and presented himself for Palmer’s meticulous inspection. “Okay, I’ll admit it, I like the shirt.”
“Mmmhmm,” Palmer said as he turned Smokey around. “I think you’re safe without a belt with these.” He surprised Smokey by trying to fit his fingers between the khaki’s waistband and the small of Smokey’s back. “The fit’s perfect.”
Once he felt he’d past inspection, Smokey couldn’t let the moment pass without trying once more to apologise. “Thanks for doing this. I know what I did before…”
Palmer held up his hand. “The past is the past. I’d rather deal with the man you are now.”
Smokey felt like a huge weight had lifted from his shoulders. He just hoped Ezra would eventually feel the same way about him. “Thanks. That means a lot.”
Palmer reached out and adjusted Smokey’s shirt collar. “Ezra will come around. I think it’s stubbornness more than anything, and as we both know, you can’t push him into anything or he’ll just dig in his heels.”
Smokey nodded. He’d had a feeling that was the case, but it really helped to hear it from someone else. “I know. I’ve got time.”

Nate continued typing. “Give me a sec.” He bobbed his head and moved his lips as if he were talking to someone while he typed.
Rio sat on the edge of Nate’s desk, marvelling over how damn hot the mayor was. Even while being cute, Nate was hot.
“Almost done.” Nate typed a few more lines before sitting back in his chair. “There.” He looked up at Rio for the first time. “What did you say when you came in?”
“That I have an idea.”
“About what?”
“Well, I was talking to Drake about Second Chance Ranch and he happened to mention that Asa financially supports some kind of out-reach programme in New York City for runaway teenagers. Drake said they aren’t specifically gay, just kids in need of help. So I was thinking, maybe we could get Drake or Asa to go to New York and talk to some of these kids, find out if they’d be interested in moving to Cattle Valley.”
“I’ve already talked to Joseph.”
Although Rio liked Nate’s first boyfriend, there was still a part of him that was jealous every time Joseph’s name came up. “The plans that were approved show enough space for twenty. I think we have the room for some of the New York teens as well.”
Nate grinned. “You just don’t like me working with Joseph,” he accused.
“Maybe, but things were different when Phillip was alive. I didn’t worry so much about the two of you fanning the old flames, because I knew how much they loved each other, but Joseph’s been alone for over a year.” Rio didn’t often verbalise his insecurities, but it was hard to hide his jealousy. Each time Nate talked to Joseph on the phone, the two of them were lost in conversation for hours at a time.
Nate got out of his chair and stood between Rio’s legs. “No one’s fanning any flames. I think he gets lonely once in a while.”
“So tell him to go out and find a boyfriend or something,” Rio argued. He settled his hands on Nate’s hips and kissed him. “You’re mine and he needs to remember that.”
“You’ve threatened him before, believe me, he knows.” Nate scraped Rio’s chin with his front teeth. “Besides, maybe I should be jealous of Drake, you two seem to spend a lot of time together lately.”
Rio laughed. The idea of him and Drake together was comical. “Lord save me. Drake’s more stubborn than you, Ryan and Ezra put together. Never mind the fact that he can’t think of anything outside of his job. He eats, drinks and breathes Montgomery Enterprises.”
“You can’t deny he’s good-looking.”
“Sure he’s nice to look at, but he doesn’t make me laugh.” Rio realised what Nate had done and narrowed his eyes. “Wait a damn minute. How’d we go from me asking you about Joseph to Drake?”
“I’m not just funny, I’m smart too.”

Ryan carried the bundle of pictures down the hall towards his father’s room. He’d spent hours going back and forth with himself over whether or not to bring them, and in the end, he was glad he had.

Ben sat on the side of the bed, staring out of the window. He made no attempt to turn around when Ryan walked into the room.
“Ben? Are you okay?”
“It’s going to rain.”
Ryan glanced out of the window. “It looks as though it hasn’t rained in a while, and there’s not a cloud in the sky.”
“Don’t care,” Ben mumbled. “A crow on my windowsill woke me this morning.” He finally tore his gaze away from the window to look up at Ryan. He gestured towards the photographs. “What’s that?”
Ryan had sorted the pictures carefully, making sure to take out any that included him. “They’re yours. Your landlord gave them to me.” He handed them to his father before going to sit in the straight-back chair.
Instead of the smile he expected to see on his dad’s face at the gift, Ryan saw only anger. “You don’t like them?”
Ben set the pictures on the nightstand. “I don’t like the man that stares back at me. He’s not me.”
Ryan walked over and picked up the photograph on top of the pile, the one that had upset his father so much. Ben sat in a lawn chair in front of the trailer with a beer in his hand. It was a scene played out every day in the Spring, Summer and Fall, so Ryan hadn’t thought a thing about including it. “You seem to be happy here.”
“I’m drunk.” Ben stood, took the picture out of Ryan’s hand and tossed it in the trashcan. He stared down at it for several moments. “Will you take me somewhere?”
Ryan wasn’t sure if he was comfortable with the request. “Where?”
“To the reservation.” He walked to his dresser and opened the top drawer. “I have something I need to return.” Ben withdrew an old metal box and tucked it against his body. “Please?”
“I’ll have to check with whoever’s in charge.” Ryan started to leave the room.
“You didn’t strike me as the kind of man who needed permission,” Ben spat out, a harsh note to his voice.
Ryan spun around. For the first time the man standing with him in the room sounded like the father he remembered and hated. “What did you say?”
“They won’t let me go if you ask them.” He held up the box. “Two hours is all I’m asking for. If you never want to see me again, I’ll accept it, but take me first.”
“If they don’t want you to leave, how the hell am I supposed to get you out of here?”
“The crow showed me the way.”
Ryan glanced at the window. “No way.”
“I can do it.” Ben headed for the window. “Help me get it open.”
Ryan stared at his father. He had two choices, leave and always wonder where his father needed to go or stay and help. He’d come to Oklahoma to finally put his past to rest, and Ryan knew he couldn’t without doing what his dad asked. “If it’s going to rain, you’d better take a jacket.”

Smokey winced as he lifted the bottle of water to his lips. For three days he’d cut and baled hay and his hands and knees were protesting. Oggie had hired one of the high school boys from town to help load the bales on the truck, but he’d had to leave to make baseball practice, which left Oggie to stack the hay in the barn by himself.

“Are you sure you don’t want to wait for Benny to come back tomorrow?” Smokey asked.
“I’m fine, although I suddenly wish I’d have had that hook prosthetic fit before I left the city.”
Smokey grinned. What he liked most about Oggie was the frank way he dealt with his new situation. The leather sleeve Smokey had fashioned to fit over Oggie’s stump seemed to be doing the job of keeping the sharp ends of the hay from scratching his skin, but he couldn’t help but think he could do better.
If it weren’t for his hands, he could’ve sewn Oggie something custom. Smokey glanced at the saddle he’d made over thirty years earlier. It had been his first major project, his pride and joy, but the years had been as unkind to the tooled leather as they’d been to him.
A car turned down the gravel drive, kicking up dust as it neared the house and barn. “Company,” Smokey informed his boss.
Oggie continued to throw bales off the flatbed truck until the car stopped. He jumped down as a tall, good-looking man got out and approached them. “Can I help you?” Oggie asked, wiping the sweat from his face with a faded blue bandana.
“Looks like you’re the one who could use some help,” the stranger said, gesturing to the pile of hay. He narrowed his eyes and stared at Smokey. “What kind of ranch hand are you?”
“I don’t know who the hell you are, but you’d better watch the way you speak to my friend here,” Oggie defended Smokey.
The stranger took a step back when Oggie stalked towards him with fire in his eyes. He held up his hands in surrender. “Cool down. I was just making an observation.”
“Either tell me what you want or be on your way.”
Smokey moved to stand beside Oggie.
“I’m Drake Smith, Chief of Security for Montgomery Enterprises,” he announced in a confident manner. “Mayor Gills told me to stop by and check out the dorm site.”
If Second Chance Ranch was going to be a success, Smokey knew they could use someone on their side like Asa Montgomery. Putting his hurt pride aside, Smokey stepped forward and held out his hand. “I’m Smokey. Sorry we got off on the wrong foot.”
Drake started to reach for Smokey’s hand but paused before grasping it. “I’m the one who should apologise.” He gently shook Smokey’s hand, mindful of the knotted joints and crooked fingers.
“Why’re you interested in looking at the site?” Oggie asked.
Smokey noticed that Oggie didn’t offer to shake Drake’s hand. Was his boss still upset with Drake or was he feeling insecure about his missing hand?
“Rio talked to me about the programme you’re planning out here, so I talked to Asa and we’d like to help.” Without being asked, Drake walked over, lifted one of the hay bales and threw it on top of the stack with ease. When he turned around, he had a huge smile on his face. “God that felt good. I haven’t bucked hay since I was a teenager in Texas.”
“Thanks, but I can handle it.” Oggie tried to move Drake out of the way before hoisting a bale up on the stack. “If you want to look at the site, go ahead.”
Drake’s black eyebrows drew together at the dismissal. Smokey wasn’t sure what had got into his boss, but he decided to step in once again. “Come on, I’ll show you around.”
“Thanks.” Drake eventually stopped watching Oggie and followed Smokey. “What’s his problem?”
Smokey readjusted his Stetson and strode towards the construction site. “Oggie prides himself on doing with one hand anything he could’ve done with two. I think you rubbed him the wrong way when you questioned his abilities.”
Drake mumbled something under his breath.
“Excuse me?” Smokey asked, not sure if the comment was meant for his ears.
“Nothing.” Drake followed Smokey to the construction area.
Although the footings and crawl space for the dorm had been poured, the majority of construction had been focused on Smokey’s house. Unfortunately, the longer the build went on, the more Smokey hated the thought of leaving his garage apartment in town. It wasn’t the stairs he’d miss, it was the man who was usually waiting at the bottom of them each morning. Elliott had quickly become a vital part of Smokey’s life, and he couldn’t imagine not seeing him every day.
“How many rooms?” Drake asked.
Smokey walked Drake through the basic space, explaining the layout. “Not sure if you’ve met Hal Kuckleman, the owner of the construction company, but he knows what he’s doing.”
With his arms crossed over his chest, Drake returned his attention to Oggie, who was still unloading and stacking the hay. He didn’t ask Smokey any more questions about Oggie, just stared with apparent appreciation of the view.
Oggie was too young for Smokey, so he’d never really taken the time to see him the way Drake obviously was. “He’s single,” Smokey said before walking off.