19
A
few days later, I'm at Sasha's house. We're locked up in her bedroom with the window wide open. It's sweltering in her room, like a sauna. It's bad enough that it's humid outside. But it's torturous to be inside sweating. I try not to think about it. But I can't help wondering how anyone can live like this, without central air. But Sasha doesn't seem fazed by the heat steaming up her room. There are two oscillating fans over in either corner of the room.
“Ooh, I'm so mad I missed dat party last weekend,” Sasha's friend Shay-Shay says as she splits open a cigar with her long fingernails. I eye her as she lets the tobacco fall out into the trash can. “Dat ish wit' Sha wouldn't even had gone down like dat, either.” She shoots me a dirty look. I look away from her. “Mmph. Silly tricks stay frontin' on da
D.
Then wanna cry
rape.
”
I blink.
“Girl, stop,” Sasha says, shaking her head. “You wasn't even there so don't go poppin' off 'cause you don't know what happened up in dat room. Ain't dat right, girl?” She looks over at me. “Tell her to eat da inside of ya crack.”
“I'd really rather not talk about it,” I say, shifting in my seat. “I mean. I have no reason to lie on anyone.”
Shay-Shay grunts, pulling out a plastic bag stuffed with dark green leaves and evenly sprinkling some out onto the gutted cigar skin.
“Girl, no judgment over here,” Sasha says. “I know how nuccas do when they get all liquored up. Trust. Nuccas don't know howta take no for an answer.”
“Whatever, Sasha. You know Sha ain't hardly try'n rape her. She prolly wanted it, then got mad when he turned her down.”
I frown. “I'm not a tease.”
She glares at me. “Oh, don't get it effed up. You better have a seat 'fore I take it to ya face.” She licks and rolls the cigar, then pulls out a lighter and runs the flame along the sides of the cigar. “You had no bidness goin' up to dat room if you ain't wanna get that thang stretched out.”
“
Bish
,” Sasha snaps. “She should be able to go wherever she wants. He ain't have no business tryna force her. You know dat nucca is a panty-hound so stop. You just mad 'cause da mofo ain't tryna break you off none'a dat lollipop.” She cracks up laughing. “Oh, Miss Goody Two-shoes had all dem ninjas tryna get up in dem drawz. Seems like I can't take
Peaches
nowhere.”
She cracks up laughing.
“That's so not true,” I say.
Shay-Shay frowns as she lights her blunt, then inhales deeply. “
Peaches?”
She blows a big curl of white smoke from her lips. She takes three more pulls then passes it to Sasha.
“Inside joke, girl,” Sasha says, taking the blunt from her. She takes a pull then starts telling her how I carried on the first time she took me to a party. “Girl, you shoulda seen Miss Strip Tease, flashin' her boobs 'n' gettin' all freaky wit' it.”
I cringe at the memory of being intoxicated and not remembering half of what I supposedly did. The Shay-Shay girl glares at me as Sasha reaches over and tries to pass me the blunt.
I shake my head. “No. That's okay. I'm good.”
Shay-Shay rolls her eyes. “Mmph. And da
bish
thinks she's too good to smoke wit' us. Why she even here?”
“ 'Cause I invited her,” Sasha snaps. “So you need'a chill da
fuqq
out.”
Shay waves her off. “Trick, pass me da blunt 'n' stop hoggin' it like you tryna eat it.”
“Whatever.” She takes another pull, then hands it back over to Shay-Shay. She blows smoke up at the ceiling. “But she right, though, girly. You need'a come up off'a all dat goody two-shoes ish 'n' kick back wit' us. It ain't like we askin' you to do coke or pop an E-pill. All it is is weed. Dat ain't gonna kill you.”
“Yeah, I know. I never said it would.”
“Then, girl, wat you scared of?”
I start coughing from the thick cloud of smoke that's blowing my way. The room is getting thick with it, making it feel ten times hotter than it already is in here.
Shay-Shay sucks her teeth. “Girl, bye. Don't beg her to smoke wit' us. I ain't really checkin' for her liked dat anyway.”
Sasha rolls her eyes. “Here, girl.” She takes two long pulls from the blunt, then hands it to me. “I know you a newbie so I'ma break you in real easy breezy. Here.”
Reluctantly, I take the blunt from her, looking at it with both excitement and nervousness. I'd wanted to smoke with Hazel Eyes but he wouldn't. And now here is my opportunity to see what it's like.
I put it to my lips.
“All you gotta do is pull on it until you feel a light burn, then hold da smoke in ya chest for like a few seconds, then blow it out.”
I do as she instructs and immediately my throat tightens and I start coughing and choking as if I'm about to have an asthma attack. My eyes start watering and my chest feels like it's on fire. Shay-Shay and Sasha look at each other and burst out laughing. And now I am laughing with them, coughing and wiping tears from my eyes.
I'm floating.
I roll my head back and look up at the ceiling as we pass the blunt back and forth. I see a bunch of cracks in the paint and start to wonder if those cracks have always been there or if I was just seeing things from smoking the blunt.
We smoke the blunt down until I can barely grip it with my fingers. Shay-Shay calls it a roach, then pulls out some kind of clipper thing and keeps on smoking it down to almost nothing.
Wow, she's real greedy.
I peel my eyes from the cracks in the ceiling and glance over at Shay-Shay, who's rolling another blunt.
She puts it up to her lips and lights it up.
Dang, she has some big, fluffy lips
.
I start giggling.
By the time we finish the second blunt. I can't stop looking at Shay-Shay's lips. They look like they've gotten bigger than they already were.
She sucks her teeth. “What you doin' all dat stupid laughin' for? What's so effen funny?”
“Bwaaahahahaaahaha. I can't stop laughing at your lips,” I say without any thought.
Sasha starts laughing. “Ooh, she callin' you Horselips, boo. Girl, you dead wrong for dat.”
“Hahahaha. I know, right. Her lips so big they look like they'll suck a boy's whole face off if he tries to kiss her.”
I'm laughing so hard that I don't notice that Shay-Shay isn't laughing. I don't notice the evil look she gives me, either. In fact, I don't even realize that Sasha is no longer laughing with me because I am so caught up in laughter.
Out of nowhere, Shay-Shay lunges at me, pulling out a knife and flipping it open. She grabs me by my shirt collar, slamming me back onto the bed and catching me completely off guard. “Bish, I will slice ya effen throat! No. Then again, I'll slash up ya face 'n' cut off ya gawtdamn lips, don't come for me unless I call you!”
My heart drops.
“I-I-I was only playing.”
“We ain't cool like dat! I will bust you in yo' face!” She starts digging her nails into my neck, trying to choke me with one hand. “Laugh now!”
I start scratching and clawing at her hand trying to get her off of me.
Sasha hops up from the floor. “
Sheeeit
! See you heifers effen wit' my high. C'mon Shay, you know dis girl can't even handle you. So let her go.”
“No! She wanna laugh. But I don't see her laughin' now. Is you? Huh,
bish!”
She swings a fist upside my head. And I hear myself scream in my head. “I should stab ya!” She mushes me, then lets go and starts pacing the floor like a wild woman.
I gasp and gulp in air, trying to catch my breath.
“Ohmygod!” I rub my neck and shake my head. “I can't believe you tried to kill me!”
“Believe it! You don't know me! I will bring it ya head! You lucky I don't bust ya mouff open right now. I know I got big lips, I don't need you tryna make fun of 'em.”
I try to apologize but she isn't interested.
She clenches her teeth, pounding her fist into the palm of her hand. “You ain't 'bout dis life, so you need to stop tryna be 'n' get back to da 'burbs where you belong.”
The wild look in her eyes tells me she's two steps from crazy. She charges at me and punches me in my jaw, causing my head to snap back. Blood gushes from my mouth.
I scream, glancing over at Sasha.
She shrugs. “Next time watch what you say.”
20
T
hree days later, I am out spending the day with Malik. I was surprised when he called and said he wanted to take me shopping. No guy has ever offered to take me out to buy me whatever I want. But Malik did. Now, after four hours of mall and outlet hopping, Malik suggests we go grab a quick bite to eat. He asks what I have a taste for. I tell him whatever he wants is fine with me. Truth is, I don't really have much of an appetite. For some reason, I'm starting to feel... I don't know. Like, um, maybe I really shouldn't have let him spend so much money on me.
A part of me is also feeling bad about lying to my mom again. But what other choice did I have? I wanted to see him. And I know if I'd told her the truth she would have forbidden it.
I shrug off the guilt that is slowly stirring in the pit of my stomach as I settle into the plush leather seat. I lean my head back on the headrest and stare out the window, wondering how in the heck I am going to sneak all of these shopping bags into my house without my mother asking me a million questions.
“Yo, you a'ight over there?” Malik asks, looking over at me.
I nod, soaking in all of his fineness. My milk-chocolate dreamboat. Malik. Six feet tall, rippled abs, chiseled biceps, and sweet, juicy lips. He is so
fine
. He melts me into a puddle of sweet nothings every time he looks into my soul with his beautiful, deep, piercing, dark brown eyes with the thick lashes.
He's perfect.
The way Malik gazes into my eyes is intoxicating. Intense. It's as if he wants to see everything there is to see in me. It makes me feel special. I've never had any boy look at me the way he does. And I think that's one of the reasons why I wanted to see him today.
Had
to see him.
I can almost see myself becoming addicted to Malik in the way that I am to Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. I know that I'm allergic to chocolate, yet still indulge myself. It's starting to feel the same way with Malik. I know too much of him might not be good for me, but for some reason I can't seem to get enough of him. And that kinda frightens and excites me at the same time.
“Yo, real spit, babe. You 'bout to have me catch a charge; for real for real. I'ma kidnap ya for the weekend, then have my way wit' you; you know that right?” A slow grin creeps over his lips.
I shift in my seat, feeling heat spread through my body. I don't know what to say to that. I push out a chuckle. “I wish. My parents would ground me indefinitely if they ever found out I was off somewhere spending the weekend with some guy, if they didn't kill me first.”
“Nah, you sixteen. You grown, baby.” He reaches over and lightly squeezes my knee, then glides his hand up my leg. “You can do whatever you want, babe. And, legally, there's nothing they can do to stop you. Besides, who said they'd have to know; nah'mean?”
I smile at him, not knowing what else to say. I mean, I know what the age of consent is: sixteen. But does that mean that legally there isn't anything my parents could do if I went and spent the weekend with him?
Ohmygod, why am I even thinking about any of this?
He's only kidding. Relax.
Fifteen minutes later, Malik parks his SUV, then gets out and walks around to my side and opens the door, helping me out. “You sexy, babe.”
I smile, feeling like the luckiest girl alive. Malik is everything I have ever wished for in a guy. He's so sweet. No, he's a whole lot more than just sweet. He's . . . perfect!
I've had to pinch myself at least four times to make sure it's real. Because to be honest, it all feels too good to be true.
I know nineteen isn't really that old. But for me it is. He's the oldest guy I've ever spent any time with. Compared to the other guys I've dated or liked, Malik isn't a boy. He's a grown man.
And he seems
waaaay
too old for me. But I know age is nothing but a number. It's how someone treats you and makes you feel that really matters, right?
I breathe in his cologne as he takes me by the hand and leads me toward the entrance of Applebee's, where we are seated within minutes. I'm glad there wasn't a long wait, like usual on a Saturday night.
We sit at a table near the bar. “You know what you wanna get?” he asks, picking up his menu and flipping through it.
I want to tell him that I've never eaten here before. But decide it isn't important. Being with him is.
I flip through my menu as well, trying to decide. “No, not yet,” I say, glancing up at him as he pulls out his Samsung and starts texting.
A few minutes later our waiter comes to the table to take our orders. I order the three-cheese chicken penne. He gets an appetizer sampler, and the honey pepper chicken and shrimp. We both order pomegranate lemonades.
Malik waits for the waiter to walk off, then rests his arms on the table, leaning in. Just as he opens his mouth to speak, he's interrupted by this brown-skinned girl wearing a short blonde pixie hairstyle with streaks of orange in her bangs and bright yellow, purple, and gold highlights in each spike of her hair.
She looks like she stuck her head into a bowl of melted Skittles.
“
Oh, no, this mofo ain't sittin' up here with some other chick.
Malik?!”
He looks up and over in the direction of the ruckus. Skittles stomps over toward our table with three other girls in tow, all looking like they'd slice, shoot, and stomp, then ask questions later. Her multicolored fingernails are at least four inches long. Both of her wrists are wrapped in gold bangles. And she has a bunch of rings on almost every finger.
“So dis why you ain't been pickin' up ya phone all day. You was s'posed to come through dis mornin' 'n' instead you out trickin' up my baby's milk 'n' Pampers on dis li'l uppity, yellow thot.”
I blink.
I don't know why, but suddenly this trashy girl makes me think of old rerun shows of
Martin
. Now I know who she reminds me of. The character Sheneneh. And the three girls with her all look just as colorful and crazy as she does. If I wasn't so scared of what's about to unfold in here, I'd laugh.
She snarls at me. “Trick, what you doin' out wit'
my
man, coo-cooin' all up in his face like you in love, huh?”
I blink.
Skittles looks mean and good dang crazy.
“Yo, go 'head with that dumb shit, Henney.”
Henney? Ohmygod, what kind of name is that?
She slams a hand on her narrow hip. She has a real small waist, itty-bitty breasts that look like they could easily be mistaken for plums, and a gigantic booty that looks like it's been attached to the wrong body. I try not to gawk at her.
“Don't âHenney' me, you sneaky black sonofabitch! I been callin' ya all day, nucca. Why ain't you been through to see about ya son, huh?”
“Yo go 'head wit' dat. You already know what it is. How many times we gonna keep goin' through dis?”
I swallow.
Ohmygod! I can't believe Malik has a baby with this crazy girl.
“What you lookin' at, trick?”
“N-n-othing,” I stutter, shifting my eyes around the restaurant. Several tables around us have already started taking in the spectacle unfolding. And all I keep thinking is,
please don't let these ghetto girls jump me in here
.
Truth is, aside from the fights I've had with my three older brothers, I'd never had a
real
fight in my entire life with a girl, or with anyone, for that matter until that girl Shay-Shay attacked me. Not even an argument. Well, not one where there are curse words and yelling and threatening going back and forth.
I know I said that I'm fascinated with the fast, gritty streets of the hood. But that doesn't mean I want to experience a firsthand fight with any of these girls, eying me real nasty-like. They all look like they know how to spit razors out and slice a face without blinking an eye.
I shift in my seat.
“Yo, what you want, Hennessey? Don't you see I'm tryna eat? Why you gotta be on effen ten all da effen time, huh?”
“I ain't on ten, yet, ninja. But I'ma 'bout to be real quick if you don't tell me what you doin' out here wit' her.”
My eyes pop open. I swallow. “My name's Kennedy,” I say meekly.
She glances over at her three friends, who are all smirking. “Oh, y'all hear dat. Her name's
Kennnnedy
,” she says, mockingly. Her friends laugh. “Soundin' all tighty-whitey. Trick, please. Take dat Cracker Jack ish back to da 'burbs where you belong. I'll call you what I wanna call you. And
what?”
I shift back in my seat, cutting my eye over at Malik.
“I don't know what you lookin' over dere at him for, like he gonna save you or sumthin'. What, you need daddy to save you? I ain't over here for you anyway, li'l girl. So don't go pissin' ya panties up. But trust. If I wanted to bring it to ya face, there wouldn't be all dis talkin' goin' on.”
Her friends laugh.
Malik's jaw tightens. “Yo, Hennessey, for real. You 'bout to have me take it there. Word is bond, yo. You better step, a'ight?”
“Nucca, I ain't better do ish. I know you don't even wanna see me turn up up in here so don't even try'n play me.”
Malik grits his teeth. “Before I split ya shit, yo, I'm warnin' you.”
She ignores him, shooting a dirty look over at me. Her glare is hot enough to melt steel. “How long you been neck-bobbin' him, huh, li'l girl? What, you deaf? You hear me talkin' to you.”
“Yo, what daâ” Malik hops up from the table and snaps on her, goes from nice to nasty in a flash. And it startles me for a second. I'm not accustomed to this kind of stuff; especially not out in public. I see a thick vein pump in his forehead as snatches her by the arm and starts roughing her up. “Didn't I tell you to take ya to stop, huh? But you wanna keep poppin' ya jaws, right?”
She pushes him off of her. “I'm not tryna hear you. You think you can come through 'n' hit dis good stuff whenever you effen want, then turn around 'n' play me. I don't think so. I'm not da one.” She lunges toward the table, causing me to jump. “
Beeyotch,
he ain't eva gonna be yours so you might as well cash out now before you find yaself stomped out. That ninja ain' eva lettin' go of dis wet-wet ova here, boo. Trust. You just a sidepiece.”
Malik yanks her by the arm again. Tells her to shut her mouth. The whole scene starts to turn ugly as she fights him off of her, calling him all types of dirty, cruel names. She's a real gutter mouth.
Next thing I know, her three friends all jump on Malik, snatching plates off nearby tables and smashing them upside his head. He lets Skittles go and tries to manhandle her friends. I watch in horror as Malik tosses them around the restaurant and they jump on his back until they've finally gotten him down on the floor, stomping and kicking and punching him.
I am so scared I've peed on myself.
“And since you wanna choose dat stuck-up slut over all'a dis hood goodness, I got sumthin' for you if I ever catch her alone! You watch, punk!”