Celia's Puppies (27 page)

“
I’ve missed you, Delphie.
I... Yeah.”

“
You don’t seem like
you’re doing very well,” Delphie said. “When I look at you, I see a
kind of darkness hanging over you. It doesn’t seem to belong to you
or be a part of you, just connected in some way.”

“
Is it Trevor’s ghost?”
Jill asked.

“
No, honey,” Delphie said.
“He’s gone.”

Jill felt a wave of relief. She hadn’t
realized how much she had worried about Trevor haunting her.
Smiling, she nodded to Delphie.

“
Would you like a cup?”
Jill asked. She held up a thermos of coffee.

“
I have some green tea.”
Delphie shook her head.

“
It’s so beautiful here,”
Jill said. “Have you been here often?”

“
No, I don’t like to
travel much,” Delphie said. “I guess we come here once a year or
so. Of course, I was here when Sam bought this place.”

“
You were?”

“
Jacob was rehabilitating
this property for some difficult people,” Delphie said. “He didn’t
know what to do with Sam, so he brought him along. Sam took one
look at the place and had to own it.”

She shrugged.

“
When they weren’t
arguing, Sam and Jacob worked on this place together. I sometimes
think this house is part of the magic that brought Jacob back to
Denver.”

“
Complicated rehab. That’s
what he said. This is it?”

“
This is it,” Delphie
said. “They’ve worked on it off and on over the years. It’s rented
out most of the year by a fishing and hunting outfit. They do most
of the upkeep.”

“
Jacob makes beautiful
spaces. I forgot. I...”

Jill shook her head. Her eyes drifted back
to the children and their fishing rods. She dreaded the moment they
actually caught a fish. She had warned the neighbor that Katy would
not like it if the fish died. He assured her they would release it
into the pond. Still, Jill was alert to a Katy meltdown.

“
I know you feel guilty
about Honey,” Delphie said. “Honey and her sister have fought since
her birth. It was always in their path that this would happen at
some point. Celia helped Honey get prepared.”

“
Celia?”

“
Honey was one of Celia’s
favorite people. Like you. Blane. Aden. And a few
others.”

“
It’s my fault though!
Trevor came for me! For Katy! He brought his monster of a wife with
him. If he...”

“
No Jill,” Delphie said.
“I understand what you’re saying. But you’re wrong. Honey’s sister
was always going to hurt her, possibly kill her. Honey has a long
road ahead, but she’ll do just fine. Especially now that she has
MJ.”

Jill’s eyebrows rose. She opened her mouth
then shook her head.

“
You know
them?”

“
They were like
nitroglycerine. They were either screaming at each other or
screwing. Always a flash of heat. You never knew what you’d get,”
Jill said. “I was on the outskirts of one of their incidents. After
that, I wouldn’t have anything to do with either of them. I didn’t
realize Honey was MJ’s ‘sweet little honeybee.’”

“
They’ve grown up a little
bit,” Delphie said.

“
The hospital hasn’t
burned down yet,” Jill said. “That’s very good.”

Delphie laughed.

“
Why didn’t you go into
town with your friends today?” Delphie asked.

“
I feel like I need to sit
in one place for a while,” Jill said. “It’s hard to
explain.”

“
Try me. I’m not doing
anything, Jill.”

“
Thanks,” Jill
said.

Jill’s eyes drifted to the lake again. Katy
was giggling at something Nash said. Nash and Noelle had been such
good friends to Katy. After the last horrible months, Jill worried
Katy would be scarred in some way. She seemed like her same old
Katy self. Jill startled when Delphie touched her arm.

“
You can talk to me,”
Delphie said.

Jill’s eyes took in the woman next to her.
Her wise eyes and crazy red hair gave her an air of weird old lady.
But Delphie’s open acceptance of Jill radiated from the woman’s
very being. Jill sighed.

“
I lived as this person –
a girl with parents. Then WHAM! I didn’t have parents. For longer
than I had parents, I lived as Trevor’s woman. Then WHAM! Trevor
divorced me. My parents… Trevor... I had no choice and my life was
turned upside down. Just happened.”

Jill was silent for a few moments.

“
When Trevor left, it was
awful and a huge relief. I fought my way out of that hole. Of
course Trevor sent me an invitation to his engagement party. He
never thought I would actually go. I think Tanesha came up with the
plan of going and presenting our history at Trevor’s engagement
party. It was terrifying… exhilarating. That whole night – meeting
Jacob, giving my little presentation, and people clapping? For me?
It was like… I AM WOMAN!”

Jill smiled.

“
Meeting Jacob,” Jill
sighed. “I was so excited. I told everyone about the hunky guy at
the party. He started showing up at work and I… “

“
Ignored him,” Delphie
said. “I’d have done the same thing.”

Jill laughed.

“
Everything was so
wonderful, like a fairy tale.”

“
For a day,” Delphie
said.

“
Yes, it was awful when
Jacob was hurt. And he was there because of me, but again… that was
something someone else did to ruin everything,” Jill said. A huge
smile lit up her entire face. “We got through it. I know Trevor
burned my hair and all of that later, but I had Jacob. Katy was so
happy. I’ve never spent a whole weekday with Katy – and we spent
day after day together.”

“
Sounds like a dream,”
Delphie said.

“
That became a nightmare,”
Jill said. “I don’t know why I did it.”

“
Did what?”

“
Took care of Trevor and
his parents and all of that crap,” Jill said. “I became helpless
Jill who has to be rescued over and over again. All the strength
and power and hope I felt had… evaporated. At the airport, I
couldn’t even pay for my own hamburger. How pathetic is
that!”

“
Why didn’t you pay your
bill, Jill?” Delphie asked.

“
Trevor’s parents stole my
cash!”

“
But, Jill, you had a
Platinum American Express card, debit card to your own accounts,
the joint account with Jacob...”

Jill opened her mouth to say something then
shook her head.

“
What?”

“
I forgot,” Jill said. “I
just forgot. Katy and I sat in that airport for hours because I
forgot, lost track of time, everything, and had to be rescued.
AGAIN!”

“
You’re angry with
yourself.”

“
Furious,” Jill said.
“And...”

“
You need to speak about
him some day,” Delphie said.

“
Who?”

“
I don’t know what you
call him, your protector,” Delphie said. “Have you ever talked to
anyone about him?”

“
Never.” Jill shifted her
body to look at Delphie. Jill reassessed Delphie. She knew this
woman was a psychic, a powerful psychic. “How did you
know…?”

“
I saw you talking to him
at the party,” Delphie said. “He’s very loving, like a fatherly
angel to you. I wanted to meet him but he just
disappeared.”

“
He’s skilled that way,”
Jill said.

“
What did he
say?”

“
That I looked beautiful.
He liked Jacob,” Jill said. “We chatted. Since he brought me back
from Costa Rica, he shows up maybe once or twice a year. We chat,
have lunch or whatever. I didn’t think... I...”

“
There’s no way you could
have known he would kill, Trevor,” Delphie said.

“
Trevor beat me up once,
really bad. Katy had just turned two. Trevor was so out of control
that I hid Katy in my closet. I don’t know how he found out about
it. It’s not like anyone knew. I mean, Sandy knew. I stayed home
from work until I wasn’t so bruised.”

Jill stopped talking. Squinting her eyes,
she saw Katy laughing at something Noelle said.

“
About a week after it
happened, Trevor went out for something. I don’t remember what.
Clove cigarettes, I think. Trevor was gone for two days. I thought
he had left me. When he came back, he was completely freaked out.
Begged me to forgive him, swore he would never, ever, ever hit me
again. And he didn’t. Well, not until after we were
divorced.”

“
That doesn’t sound like
Trevor,” Delphie said. “What changed?”

“
Later, maybe six months
before he left, Trevor was really drunk. He told me he was picked
up by this scary man. He wouldn’t tell me what exactly happened but
he was terrified. He told me that every time he wanted to hit me,
he remembered that he would get a bullet in the head.

“
So you see, it is my
fault Trevor’s dead.”

“
I understand what you’re
saying,” Delphie said. “But it sounds like Trevor knew what would
happen if he hurt you again.”

Jill’s eyes slid over to Delphie from the
lake. It had never occurred to her Trevor held any responsibility.
Like always, Jill was certain it was her fault. She raised her
eyebrows at the new thought.

“
You know I believe that
soul mates are in our lives to teach us something.”

“
And when we’ve learned
the lesson, we have a choice to either keep them in our lives or
end the relationship,” Jill said. “You told me that when you gave
me the reading. Remember? Just before I married Trevor.”

“
That’s right,” Delphie
said. “I’m glad you were paying attention.”

The women sat for a moment watching the
lake, the trees, and the laughing children.

“
And?” Jill
asked.

“
I used to think you
needed to learn how strong you really are,” Delphie said. “But
you’ve had to be pretty strong to deal with Trevor. And even after
he’s dead, you’re still burdened by him. What do you think you need
to learn?”

Jill looked at Delphie. Delphie was watching
something very intently. Following her gaze, Jill saw an eagle
hunting over the water. The eagle made several low runs over the
water before it struck. Within a few feet from the boat, the eagle
lifted a fish from the lake. The neighbor and the children cheered
for the eagle.

“
I choose,” Jill said. “I
chose to stay with Trevor. I chose to take up this burden
again.”

“
And you can choose to set
it down,” Delphie said.

“
Will I be… penalized for
setting it down?”

“
You’re only penalized if
you hold on too long to what doesn’t belong to you,” Delphie said.
“Sometimes that’s an idea of yourself or a person.”

“
Like being Trevor’s
woman,” Jill said. “I could choose be Jill or Jill’s
woman.”

“
Yes, dear. That’s it
exactly.”

~~~~~~~~

“
Ok Honey, you aren’t
making any sense,” Jacob said. He and Honey were video conferencing
over the internet. Since going to Maine, he called her once a day
to chat. They were working on getting to know each other, slowly.
He actually enjoyed her black sense of humor and take no prisoners
attitude. Today, she was so upset that he had to get Sam to
interpret. “Can you slow it down a little bit?”

Honey took a piece of paper. Between palms,
she held the paper to the webcam.

$1.35 million dollars a year

“
For your care,” Jacob
said. “I know. Remember we talked about this at the family
conference. Your insurance will cover some and we’ll get the
rest.”

“
But Jake, I can’t live
like that,” Honey said. “I can’t live as a burden to you all of my
life. I should have died.”

“
But you didn’t,” Jacob
said. “And I’m glad you didn’t.”

“
That doesn’t include all
new living facilities, new showers, new cabinets, every fucking
thing. I’ll kill myself if I have to move in with Mom and the
girls. I can’t go back to my apartment. Jake, what am I going to
do? They want to release me in a couple weeks!”

“
I promised you we would
take care of you,” Jacob said. “We will work this out.”

“
Honey.” Sam leaned over
Jacob to be on camera. “Let us get back to Denver. We have a couple
of options we think you’ll like.”

“
I’m not your
child!”

“
No, you’re not,” Sam
said. “But I am your father. And you are my friend. I won’t leave
you hanging, Honey. You know that. What do you need today that’s
going to make any of this better?”

“
Hope,” Honey said. “I
want to live my life like a person and not someone’s pathetic PUPPY
or PROJECT.”

“
I hope I can live my life
like that too,” Jacob said. “Trust me?”

Honey nodded.

“
We’ll be home in two
days,” Jacob said.

“
We’ll talk about this as
soon as we land,” Sam said. “How is the infection?”

Honey screwed up her face in disgust. While
her scars had healed, she hadn’t been able to kick an infection,
probably brought by the knife slicing through her intestines.