Centaur Legacy (26 page)

I could feel his energy getting
stronger, more pronounced the further I walked. At the end of the
overgrown gravel driveway stood a long forgotten farmhouse. Paint
chips peeled up toward the sun as if begging for a little more
warmth to escape the frigid air. More fresh snow had fallen today,
and no footprints had disturbed the snow but mine. It was early
December. I’d gotten back from Florida a week ago and had searched
for Drake every waking minute since my return.

I had felt this close before, but each
time I felt he was around the next corner, I lost him again. Time
alone was my enemy. Each night since my search began, Beau and
Daniel were waiting for me at the hotel. Each night I could count
on one or both of them trying to talk me into returning to San
Diego with them.

I didn’t want Beau’s comfort or
Daniel’s friendship; I was still blinded by the loss of Drake.
Neither had returned to San Diego, but I wouldn’t let either of
them help me search for Drake, either. I’d watched Phineas’s men
beat Drake to within an inch of his life. I knew Daniel had told me
the truth when he said Drake didn’t want to see me again, but I
couldn’t let it go. I couldn’t let my last memory of Drake be the
terror I felt in that moment in our hotel room. If he had changed
his mind and no longer wanted me, I could accept it, but I needed
my last memory of him to be one where he was okay.

I could accept if he blamed me for what
Phineas’s men had done to him. I wouldn’t deny that if I hadn’t met
Drake that day at Bruce’s wedding, he would be way better off for
never having met me. I would accept his hatred, or contempt, or
whatever he was feeling, so long as I could see him one last time,
even if it meant our last conversation would be a
good-bye.

No matter how I tried explaining it to
Beau or Daniel, neither understood why I had to find Drake. After I
told Beau I had run into Zandra at Cameron’s house, he and Lacey
insisted on helping me search yesterday. This morning I got up and
left the hotel before either woke up, so I could do this on my
own.

Both Beau and Daniel believed that if
we all went back to San Diego, eventually Drake would get over
whatever was going on with him and maybe he’d come looking for us
there. Something told me that would never happen, and I needed to
find him now or know that I would lose him forever.

In my heart I knew Zandra was full of
lies. I didn’t want them to, but her words had made an impression
on me. She had done everything in her power to keep us apart, but I
thought it unlikely she did it for me.

My search continued. I’d felt his
presence several times this last week, but I was never able to find
him. It was as if he were just outside my reach. There was one
person I could call on, the one person who’d been there for me my
whole life. Our bond was so strong, I could even call on her in
death. “Mom? Mom, are you there? Mom, I need you.”

Her faint outline
materialized in front of me. With the cold temperatures, my breath
turned to vapor in front of me. As I exhaled, it went straight
through her. Her response was audible, but barely.
“
Camille, it’s almost time.”

Sadness pulled at my heart, and a tear
threatened to streak down my cheek, “You have to help me find
Drake.”

“I’m sorry, Camille. I’m
just a spirit, and it is past my time. It’s time for me to go to
the pasture
.”

I begged her, “Tell me how to find him.
Please. I just need to know he’s okay.” The hurt that I’d felt for
days when Daniel told me that Drake had abandoned me threatened to
swallow me whole. The vicious words from Zandra and the insane
loneliness were almost too much to bear. “Please, Mom. Help
me.”

“Your Centaur is alive. If
he were not, I would have seen him on this side. I don’t know where
he is
.”

“Did Zandra do something to
him?”

“I don’t know,
Camille
.”

I saw her image fading. In my heart I
knew this would be our last visit. She had grown weak. I wanted to
say something profound, something that would let her know how much
I knew she gave up for me. I came up empty; I was too broken, too
alone, too cold and too exhausted to think straight. Instead I
asked a question I already knew the answer to. “Wait. . . will I
ever see you again?”

She smiled and the image of
her took on a yellow, almost comforting glow. “
When your time is over, I will be waiting for you in the
pasture. You were the only joy I ever had in my life. Thank you for
making my life worth living.
”

Choking back the tears, “I wish I’d
been a better daughter. I wish I’d known what you sacrificed for
us.”

She smiled, and the soft
warm glow surrounding her brightened. “
There were no sacrifices, only choices. I chose my life, and
I lived it without regrets. I’m proud of you, Camille. My only
sadness is that I didn’t have more time here, to see the choices
you will make
.”

“How will I learn anything without
you?”

“It’s in your blood,
Camille. You don’t need a teacher. Remember your life is a gift and
choices you make are yours and nobody else’s
.”

I was running out of time: her glow
began to diminish. “Do I have any special powers I can use to find
Drake?”

“Yes. You have your love
for him. Love is the most powerful magic in the universe. Listen to
your heart: it will lead you to him. Trust in yourself and believe
in the love in your heart.
”

Her spirit faded away completely. There
had been a pressure on my chest that I didn’t know I’d been
carrying. I felt her spirit leave, and she took with her the pain
I’d carried with me all these months. I had been holding her here.
I was so scared of really losing her that I couldn’t let her rest.
I took a deep breath, held it in, and then slowly let it
release.

I didn’t want to be alone, but as my
mother’s spirit crossed over to the pasture, I no longer feared the
loneliness. I could leave the Centaur world behind just as she had.
I wouldn’t need magic to hide me – I could just leave. I would
always have my family if I needed them, even if I chose to live as
a human rather than as a Centauride.

Mom’s final gift to me was the
knowledge that I would only be alone if I chose it. I stood at the
end of that gravel driveway for a long time, not in terms of
minutes or hours, but a long time, finally saying my
good-bye.

When my numbed mind returned to
reality, the crisp air against my face, the chill of the wind, and
the deafening silence reminded me of why I was here. Drake. Dusk
was over, and the moon was rising. I should have returned to town,
but something prevented me from leaving. The temperature had
dropped, and the snow crunched under my feet as I made my way up to
the abandoned farmhouse in front of me.

I climbed the step to the rickety old
porch, silently praying the wood was strong enough to support
another step without buckling under my weight. It didn’t appear
that there was any electricity to the dilapidated house. I pressed
the chime on the door, knowing that no noise would sound inside.
Even if it did make a sound, I could feel that there were no living
souls to hear it.

Refusing to accept what I already knew,
I raised my fist and pounded hard on the door. Nothing. I was so
sure Drake would be here. Gingerly, I stepped off the porch, trying
to put my weight only on the boards that looked like they could
support me.

As I looked in the backyard, tall grass
stood wildly, covered under the blanket of snow. I could feel
something about this place. This was where I was supposed to be. I
felt eyes watching me. Both my hands rested on a fence post. I
closed my eyes and let my mind wander, looking for the one watching
me.

I felt the charge of unexpected
electricity jolt me. Drake was here. I’d found him. I could hear my
own heartbeat against the silent backdrop. I closed my eyes and
began walking, letting his heartbeat serve as a beacon for me to
find him. I thought of the day at our hotel before I had been
kidnapped: the unfettered desire I felt for him and his willingness
to finally quench my thirst. I let those images free in my
thoughts, willing him to see them in my mind, too.

He didn’t come closer. I couldn’t see
him, but I could feel he was just behind the abandoned barn. I
couldn’t understand why he didn’t come to me. Couldn’t he feel my
approach? I walked slowly, trying to detect any traps that may have
been set by whoever was holding him. I stepped behind the barn. A
thick grove of trees all but blocked out light from piercing
through the branches. Darkness had fallen. Drake stood in front of
me; even twenty feet away in the near pitch black, pain shone clear
through his eyes.

He was standing a few yards
just inside the tree line. My voice shook, “Drake, it’s me.” He
couldn’t make eye contact, or at least he
wouldn’t
make eye contact, and he
didn’t answer. “Drake, I was worried,” my voice cracked, “I thought
Zandra had gotten you. I thought I had lost you.”

When his eyes finally met mine, a
sorrow so powerful emanated from him, it nearly brought me to my
knees. I took him in: he stood before me in the freezing
temperatures with no coat or shirt, bare-chested in the moonlight.
I froze. What had happened? Someone had kidnapped him and left him
outside to freeze? I unzipped my parka and pulled it off to hand to
him. Drake shook his head; my mind wasn’t processing what was
happening. I took another step in his direction, still holding the
parka out for him. He shook his head a second time, his voice
quiet, “I don’t need it.”

“Of course you need it! You’re going to
freeze to death!”

Drake didn’t argue with me. Instead his
eyes looked off behind me, over my shoulder. His voice sounded
hollow, the only sound for miles in an ocean of silence, “There’s
nothing I wouldn’t have given you.”

The tears I held back clouded my
vision, “Where have you been? I’ve looked everywhere.”

“I had. . . I had to go
away.”

Something wasn’t right. He couldn’t
have been held captive. He wasn’t warning me to be careful; I
didn’t sense any danger at all. “Where’s the arrow?”

“It’s safe.”

Forcing Zandra’s voice not to echo in
my mind, I asked, “Where’s it at?”

“Never mind the arrow. You’re safe from
Zandra so long as you keep Zethus’s locket with you.” He tossed the
hideous bug locket the few feet to me. I caught it while he warned,
“Stay away from her.”

“Did she do something to
you?”

I took another step toward Drake. He
held his hand out as if he were a traffic cop. “No! Don’t come any
closer.”

I was confused by his reaction to me.
It had been over a week since I had seen him. Why didn’t he come to
me? Why didn’t he pull me to him and tell me he loved me? Did he
blame me for Phineas’s attack? Was he hurt? I could only choke out,
“What’s wrong?”

I took another step forward, ignoring
his hand. His words were harsh, “Camille – STOP!”

He stood, his chest bare, the moonlight
illuminating every ripple across his chest. He stood behind a thick
evergreen bush and made no movement in my direction. I couldn’t
understand why he wasn’t wearing a coat, a hoodie or at least a
t-shirt. Seeing him standing as he was, I wondered if I were
hallucinating.

I didn’t care how much he protested; I
wouldn’t let him freeze to death. Still holding the parka, I closed
the last few feet between us, stepped around the evergreen bush,
and reached up to wrap it around him. When he tried to shrug the
jacket away, I slid it over his shoulders and held it firmly around
him. To make sure he didn’t pull it off, I left my arms strung
around his neck anchoring it to him.

I don’t know how long I stood there, my
hands involuntarily began rubbing his shoulders through the jacket.
Drake closed his eyes as his arms glided gently to my waist. We
stood there stiffly without words until he leaned over and rested
his chin on my head. Drake looked exhausted, and he finally said,
“You need the jacket more than I do.”

His skin was warm, more than warm – it
was hot. It felt like he had a fever. “Why are you out here without
a coat?”

Instead of answering me, his arms that
had been stiffly resting on my waist suddenly pulled me tight
against him. I felt his breath against my neck as he spoke directly
into my ear, “I didn’t want you to see me.”

I started to feel dizzy and knew if he
hadn’t have been holding onto me so tightly, my legs would have
folded under me. My worst fear was actually happening. All his
tender words, his promise of eternity, it was just gone. It was
just like Ronnie all over again, but this time so much
worse.

I wouldn’t let him know what his words
had just done to me. I’d always used humor as a defense – and
sarcasm was far better than letting him know he’d just shattered
me. “Running scared, huh? Second thoughts on that whole ‘choose me’
thing?” I’d hoped I’d masked the hurt in my voice.

He’d changed his mind. He didn’t want
me anymore. Daniel had told me the truth. I bit back the tears of
rejection skimming the surface, not wanting for it to be true and
not willing for him to see me cry.