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Authors: Elizabeth Lowell

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BOOK: Chain Lightning
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I should have died, too.“ She shuddered. “Sometimes…sometimes I think I did.“

Sutter whispered Mandy’s name again and again, gathering her even closer, holding on to her with fierce strength, as though he were afraid the sea was going to sweep up and claim the woman who had evaded drowning two years ago.

“You’re alive,“ Sutter said in a low, intense voice. “Do you hear me, Mandy? You’re alive, more alive than any woman I’ve ever known!“

“Am I?“ she whispered, pulling back until she could look at him with shadowed golden eyes.


Yes.“

“I felt alive last night, with you. Alive as I never have been. But in the morning you…walked away.“

Sutter closed his eyes against the pain in Mandy’s voice. “You’re not a woman for affairs. You would want more. You sure as hell deserve more, and I know it, just as I know I’m not the man to give it to you. I learn from my mistakes, Mandy. And that’s what marriage was for me. A mistake. But I wanted you so damned bad I stopped thinking!“

“Two years ago you would have been right about me and affairs,“ Mandy said. “But not now, Sutter. Not now. Like you, I’ve learned. Now I want what I had last night. I want to be alive, to feel you inside me, to be so close to you I can’t tell where I end and you begin. That’s all I’m asking. I don’t expect pretty words or deathless promises or anything but you, body to body, breath to breath, heat against heat, hard against soft. Come inside me, Sutter,“ she whispered, running her hands over his bare, rain-wet chest. “Please.“

“Mandy,“ Sutter whispered, shuddering with the onslaught of desire, a cataract of heat pouring through him, gathering between his legs, making him so full and rigid that he groaned. “No.“

But Mandy wasn’t listening to anything except the pounding of storm surf and the rain and her own blood matching the hammering of Sutter’s heart beneath her hand.

“Don’t worry, Sutter,“ she continued, words tumbling out in a torrent, pushed by her own tearing need to make Sutter understand. “I won’t expect you to change your diving schedule or your meals or anything else about your vacation. I just want a little of your time when you aren’t diving, that’s all. I don’t expect to be your lover back home. I don’t expect you to acknowledge me in any way. It ends when we leave the island. No fuss, no muss, no tears or recriminations. Just a vacation affair between two consenting adults.“

Mandy took a broken breath and looked into the blazing green of Sutter’s eyes and the warm rain washing over his body. She wanted to be like that rain, bathing him in heat. She stood on tiptoe and whispered against his mouth, kissing and biting and tasting him between words.

“Teach me what you want, how to please you, how to make you feel as though you’ve been dropped into the hot center of life,“ Mandy said while her hands slid down Sutter’s lean body and inside his swimsuit, pushing it down and away in a single twisting stroke, freeing him for her touch. The size and heat of him transformed her, suffusing her with an answering readiness, preparing her for the presence within her body of the very male flesh that pulsed so urgently between her hands. “I know I’m not much as a lover,“ she continued, “but I’ll do any – “

Sutter’s tongue thrust between Mandy’s teeth, cutting off her words as he ravished her mouth, pinning her in his arms, pressing their aroused bodies together while silver rain poured over their hot skin. She made a shivering sound of desire and sucked on his tongue, pulling him even deeper into her mouth, not even realizing what she did, knowing only that she must have more of him or die.

He ate her mouth hungrily while his splayed fingers slid down her wet stomach to push inside her bikini, spearing through the musky dampness of her hair, probing until he found her slick readiness bathing him more hotly than any rain. His other hand raked down her back, tearing away her bikini in two powerful jerks even as he kicked aside his own suit. With a thick, hungry sound he sank his fingers into her thighs, spreading them and at the same time lifting her, plunging into her until he could go no deeper for he was completely, tightly sheathed in her wild heat The sudden thrust and hard pressure of Sutter within Mandy ripped reality away. Arms wrapped around his powerful neck, body quivering, Mandy hung on to Sutter, knowing only him, feeling only his potency filling her and ecstasy convulsing her. Her body clenched and stroked and clenched around him again, pulling him in even more deeply, her consummation streaming over him in a torrid rain until he stood transfixed, pouring himself into her in return, his breath coming out in an extended, broken cry.

For long moments Mandy and Sutter held on to each other, oblivious to the weather, the waves, to everything but the shivering aftermath of intense pleasure. Slowly their breathing returned to normal. Even more slowly Sutter lifted Mandy, separating himself from her, allowing her legs to slide down his until she stood on her own feet once more. After the steamy heat of her body, the air felt cold on his still-aroused flesh.

“Are you all right?“ Sutter asked, his voice uneven as he hugged her.

She made a sound of contentment against his chest.

“I didn’t hurt you?“ he pressed.

“What?“ she asked, looking up at him with puzzled golden eyes.

“I was very…aroused.“

Mandy smiled. “Yes. I liked that, Sutter. I liked it very much.“

She ran her fingertips down the center line of his body until she found the blunt, partially aroused flesh nested in a dense thicket of amber hair. She heard Sutter’s breathing change as she traced the growing length of him before she went on to cup the twin weights suspended just below. With curiosity and gentle care she stroked the different, very male textures.

“Do you like that?“ she murmured.

Sutter heard the catch in Mandy’s voice, saw the sensual shiver that claimed her and felt his blood rushing heavily once more.

“ ‘Like’ isn’t the word for what I feel right now,“ Sutter said huskily, putting his hands over Mandy’s, guiding her in the ways of pleasuring him.

She was a very fast learner. Sutter’s breath caught in his throat as he stifled a groan. He knew he should stop her, walk her back to the tent, get out of the open so that there would be no chance of someone stumbling across them. But the beach was utterly deserted and the casuarina grove partially shielded them and the rain was falling in sensuous silver veils. He decided that next time he would take her to the cloistered shelter of the canvas walls and lie between her legs for a long, deep loving. But not this time. This time he wanted to lie in the open with her, licking the hot rain from her body in a loving as wild and free as the storm sweeping over the island.

Mandy closed her eyes, caressing Sutter as she absently tasted the rain on her lips with the tip of her tongue.

“Let me,“ he said huskily.

“What?“

Sutter’s answer was the warm, velvet rasp of his tongue over Mandy’s lips. She shivered and held his responsive flesh in her hands, caressing him, loving him. He was smooth and hard and flushed with heat, his skin stretched as tight as a satin drum, slick with passion and rain.

“Love?“ he asked.

“Mmm?“ she murmured, eyes closed, lips parted.

“What happened to that towel you had?“

“I think I’m standing on it.“

Sutter’s lips curved in amusement despite the heavy beat of desire in his blood. He reached down and slowly, gently caught Mandy’s erect nipples between his fingers, rolling the tight buds, tugging at them. Her breath broke and her knees sagged.

“You have the same effect on me,“ he said, caressing her breasts with rain-wet hands before he released her. “This time I want to lie between your legs, Mandy. I want…vow.“

She sank to her knees and fumbled with the drenched towel, spreading it over the crushed coral and fallen she-oak leaves. Her task wasn’t made any easier when Sutter distracted her by kneeling behind her. He rubbed his long fingers down her spine to the shadow cleft of her bottom and then lower still. She gasped when she felt him spear sweetly into her warmth. Heat rippled out from the pit of her stomach with a force that made her dizzy.

“Sutter?“ she whispered, unable to speak aloud.

Mandy looked over her shoulder at Sutter just as his tanned, powerful thigh eased between her legs, pressing them apart, rubbing rain-slick skin over her bottom, unraveling her with the unexpected intimacy. The pressure increased, pushing her thighs apart until she swayed on her knees.

“What do you want me to do?“ she asked raggedly.

Sutter bent and gently bit the nape of her neck and whispered, “Rain on me, Mandy.“

His left arm came around her just beneath her breasts, holding her shoulder blades against his chest while his leg opened her thighs to the ravishment of his palm sliding over her swollen, heat-flushed flesh, retreating and sliding and retreating until she swayed with his caresses. His long fingers teased the velvet bud of her passion, making her tremble with need. His teeth closed deliberately on the nape of her neck at the same instant that his finger penetrated the slick, hungry core of her. He felt the tiny convulsions deep within her, the hot rain of her pleasure over him.

“I love touching you,“ Sutter said hoarsely, biting Mandy again, caressing her even more deeply. Feeling her steamy, shivering reaction, he groaned and closed his hand possessively on her hot flesh.

“Sutter,“ she moaned. “Stop. I want to hold you….“

“I can’t stop,“ he admitted, rubbing his hand slowly between her thighs. “You’re so damned responsive you make me lose control.“

Mandy made a broken sound that could have been laughter or passion or both. “But I’m not,“ she said, then moaned at the sweet, involuntary shuddering of her body as he caressed her again.

“Tell me all about it,“ Sutter said huskily, sucking drops of rain from Mandy’s spine with hard pressures of his mouth, sending wild bursts of pleasure through her. He laughed thickly, sucking hard on her soft skin, thrusting deeply, feeling himself drenched with her passion. “Yes,“ he murmured,
“Yes.
Tell me how unresponsive you are while you come apart in my hands.“

Mandy tried to speak, but Sutter’s fingers had captured one of her erect nipples and he was tugging at it with the same slow, sensuous rhythms of his hand moving between her legs. The twin assault was too much. She swayed like a slender casuarina caught in a storm, letting the warm rain wash through her to her lover. Sutter closed his eyes and caressed Mandy gently until the storm passed and she could speak once more. Then he turned her and lowered her to the towel, where he kissed her flushed lips with a sensual thoroughness that soon had her shivering again.

“Do you want me?“ he asked.

“Yes,“ she whispered, “oh, yes.“

“How?“ he murmured, spreading her legs apart, stroking her hot, delicate skin. “Gentle? Fast? Slow? How do you want me, Mandy?
Tell
me.“

“Deep,“ she whispered. “So deep it never ends.“

“Oh, love,“ Sutter said, shuddering in a vise of need, “that’s how I want it, too.“

Mandy’s eyes opened when she felt her legs pulled first around Sutter’s waist, then up over his shoulders until her hips were lifted clear of the towel.

“Tell me if I hurt you,“ Sutter said, his voice husky with need. “You’re so sweet, so tight, and you make me so hard….“

She started to answer, to tell him that she wanted him, all of him, but her voice unraveled into a husky moan as he pushed slowly into her. She saw his face become oddly flattened, his eyes slitted, his lips thinned with the force of his passion and the self-control that held him in check. Slowly he gave her more of his weight, more of his power, more of the potent flesh that was filling her until she was sure she could hold no more…and then he taught her how little she had known about her capacity to receive and his to give. The pressure was fierce, burning and so delicious she trembled helplessly and rocked against him, wanting more. He gave it to her with a smooth thrust of his hips, embedding himself completely in her, hearing her shattered cry. He shuddered and held himself savagely still.

“Mandy?“ he asked hoarsely. “Mandy?“

Her eyes opened. Her pupils were so dilated that only a tiny rim of molten gold remained. She could feel Sutter from the back of her knees to the small of her back and she wanted only to measure him again and again and again until she died of it, but she could think of no way to tell him what she so desperately needed. Her slender hands pulled his head down until her lips were against his ear. As her teeth closed on him, she whispered a hot, dark command that ripped away his control.

Sutter’s powerful body flexed and he began driving into Mandy, plumbing every last bit of her softness as she cried out in wild pleasure and urgent demand. Her hands raked down to his buttocks, clenched, then instinctively gentled as she followed the cleft and discovered the exciting male flesh below, twin spheres drawn tight with excruciating need. At the first soft caress of her palm Sutter threw back his head and bared his teeth in an agony of pleasure. Her hand moved again, shaping him, loving him, making him explode. She felt it happening for him, the tiny convulsions and the long, shattering release, the secret dance of life in her cupped hand; and then heat burst from the pit of her stomach, burning through her, stripping away the world, leaving her impaled on ecstasy even as she was sheltered within her lover’s arms.

Chapter 13

 

 

The island days took on a new pattern for Mandy and Sutter. Each morning they awoke as they had slept, body to body, warmth to warmth, breath to breath. While Sutter dove out in the open sea, Mandy went to the Fish Pond. Each time she went she was able to endure having her face in the water for a few minutes longer and then a few minutes beyond that, until finally she was able to enter the water at high tide and float on her back or patrol the pond with a languid breaststroke that kept her face clear of the water.

When Sutter returned from his dives, they would eat and she would listen to his descriptions of the Great Barrier Reef. He would see the yearning in Mandy and feel it in himself; he would have given his soul to share the exotic beauty of the sea with her. But the reef was not his to give. All he could bring to her was his touch, his smile, his body locked deeply within hers as they explored together the sensual sea they had discovered in one another.

Both Sutter and Mandy tried not to count the days remaining to them on the island. Both failed. The morning before they were due to fly out, Sutter left Mandy in the Fish Pond and called his aunt instead of going off to the dive boat.

“Anthea?“

“Sutter! I had almost abandoned hope of ever hearing from you again. Is everything all right?“

“Everything’s fine, except my vacation is too short“

“A common problem.“

“I have an uncommon solution. You’re going to give us two more weeks.“

“Us?“

“Mandy needs more time, too.“

There was a long pause from Anthea’s end, followed by a sigh.

“Damon? Is there something I should know?“

“Two years ago Mandy and her husband crashed at sea in a small plane. He died. She was sucked down with the plane and damn near drowned, and she lost the baby she was carrying.“

“Dear God,“ Anthea said in an appalled voice.

“Since then Mandy’s been terrified of small planes and any water deeper than a sidewalk puddle. But she doesn’t want to be afraid anymore. She got to Lady Elliot Island on sheer guts, and now she’s at the point where she can put her face in the water and even swim around the lagoon a little. If she had more time, she’d be able to dive along the Great Barrier Reef. I’m sure of it. I want her to have that chance.“

“Damon, my dearest boy, that’s an enormous amount to ask of Mandy. Learning to dive would be hard enough, but learning to dive when you’re terrified of water – and for excellent reason! – is too much to ask of anyone.“

“Learning won’t be a problem for Mandy. She’s been scuba diving from Alaska to Mexico. She has a Ph.D. in marine biology, with a specialty in the ecology of coral reefs. Before the accident the ocean was her life. I want her to have that life again.“

There was another long pause.

“Is that what Mandy wants?“ Anthea asked finally.

“If you heard her talk about the ocean, you wouldn’t have to ask,“ Sutter said, smiling almost sadly. “Anthea, remember that paper on fish farms and coral atolls that OCC commissioned a few years back?“

“But of course. I still use it as a model of the type of work we should be commissioning.“

“Mandy was a major contributor to that paper. Even if she never dives again, she’s wasted in her present job. OCC needs someone who understands the ocean more than you need a girl Friday. I’d have given my eyeteeth to have Mandy along last year when I was trying to convince that little tin tyrant that his people needed an intact reef to attract edible fish more than he needed crushed coral to build roads for people who had no cars! I can think of a hundred times I could have used Mandy’s advice in the last year. She’s a hell of a lot more than a good-looking woman with a sassy mouth. She’s intelligent and gutsy and – “

“Your lover,“ Anthea interrupted calmly.

“That, my dear aunt, is none of your business.“

She sighed. “Two more weeks?“

“Yes.“

“You’ll have to fly straight to Darwin afterward. That man Peters doesn’t get along with the aborigines as well as you did. Apparently he can’t stomach the local delicacies. Without the support of the adults, we can do little for the children.“

Sutter grimaced at the thought of more baffling conversations, warm beer and charred lizard. On the other hand, there had been a few times in his life when he would have been glad to drink boiled beer and eat lizard, charcoal and all.

“We’ll be into the monsoon season in a few weeks,“ Sutter pointed out. “It will be hell to get into the bush, much less to get out.“

“Then perhaps you could fly over for a few days now, patch things together and then have your two weeks’ extra vacation.“

“Not a chance. There s no such thing as a few days when you’re dealing with a culture that has no concept of European time,“ Sutter retorted. He smothered a curse. “Two more weeks for both of us on the island. Then I’ll eat goanna until I get things straightened out. Deal?“

“Deal.“

“Good. You can use those two weeks to write out a job description for a resident OCC oceanographer.“

“Damon…“

“Yes?“

“Have you changed your mind about marriage?“

Sutter held the receiver until his hand ached. When he spoke it was in a clipped voice that invited no confidences. “To quote my dear aunt, ‘a discreet, mutually satisfying affair is far superior to the lackluster social convenience known as marriage.’”

When Anthea spoke, there was an indefinable sadness in her voice. “I meant that only for myself, not as blanket advice for my nephew.“

“What’s sauce for the goose, et cetera.“

“Is that how Mandy feels?“

Sutter’s temper slipped. “Do you think I’d be her lover otherwise?“

“That would depend on how badly you wanted her, wouldn’t it? Or, perhaps, on how badly she wanted vow.“

“Thanks for the vote of confidence in my personal integrity,“ Sutter snarled.

“Damon, I didn’t mean – “

“The hell you didn’t.“

Sutter broke the connection and spun toward the door in the same savage motion, startling the girl who was racking postcards. A few moments later the phone rang. Sutter was gone. The girl listened and then noted in the resort log that the couple in the unnumbered tent were extending their vacation for two more weeks.

The days became a sensual kaleidoscope for Mandy, a colorful wheel whirling faster and faster around her. Sutter made love to her with his smoky green glances and his long-fingered hands, with his powerful body and his hot, insatiable mouth; and she loved him in the same way, sweetly devouring him, taking and giving and sharing until the world splintered into colors and fell away, leaving only ecstasy behind.

One day Sutter came back from diving to find Mandy snorkeling within the lagoon’s clear water. He watched for fifteen minutes, and then he had waded out and lifted Mandy into his arms, exulting in her success, giving her a deep kiss that had left both of them trembling with something more than triumph. On the first calm day after that, Sutter went with Mandy into the unbridled sea on the opposite side of the island, where waves swept in from a distant horizon. He led her to a place called the Garden, a favorite local snorkeling ground. There, beyond the creaming waves, she swam by his side, their bodies propelled by lazy movements of their flippers, their fingers interlaced, their masked faces turned down toward the extraordinary alien beauty of the coral growths.

For a week Sutter went scuba diving in the morning and snorkeling with Mandy in the afternoon. And then Mandy turned up at the dive boat in the morning with the other divers, her scuba gear in hand and her heart in her mouth. Sutter gave her a smile and a kiss that made her feel as though she could breathe underwater and to hell with air tanks and mouthpieces.

“Are you sure, love?“ Sutter asked softly. “You don’t have to.“

“I want to. I’m scared, but I want to.“

“What about being in the dive boat? It’s hardly the
Queen Mary“

Mandy hesitated, then smiled tremulously. “I won’t know until I try.“

Ray turned away from instructing a newcomer and saw Mandy standing next to Sutter, her tanks leaning against his. Sutter’s fingers slid between Mandy’s in a gesture of approval and sensual possession. He looked up from Mandy’s red lips and saw Ray’s smile.

“The boat will be a little crowded,“ Sutter said casually. “Mandy and I will wait until you drop off the first group.“

“No worries, mate. Tommy is going to take this lot over to the Garden for a bit.“

Tommy suppressed a look of surprise. One of the other divers started to say something, caught an elbow in the ribs and shut up instantly. Mandy’s steady success in overcoming her terror of water was a source of very real pride to all of the divers. If Ray wanted to take Mandy and Sutter to the outer reef alone, then the rest of the divers could amuse themselves until the boat returned.

“Bloody good idea,“ one of the divers said. “I’ve been wanting a go at the Garden but the tide has never been right.“

There was a ragged chorus of agreement as the men abandoned their scuba tanks and drifted down the beach to a point opposite the Garden.

“Right, here we go,“ Ray said to Mandy.

He took Mandy’s tanks, waded out and hefted them into the dive boat, which was moored by a line leading from the bow to a sturdy little she-oak. Sutter scooped up Mandy, waded out and placed her carefully in the bobbing craft. He waited several moments.

“Okay?“ he murmured.

Mandy let out a long breath. “Yes. It’s…fine. Not like I thought it would be. Not nearly as bad as the plane was.“

Sutter wondered which plane she meant, the one that had nearly killed her or the one that had flown her to Lady Elliot Island. He didn’t ask because he didn’t want anything to upset the balance of Mandy’s control.

“If you change your mind,“ Sutter said, “don’t fight it. Tell me right away. Promise?“

Mandy nodded.

Sutter signaled for Ray to bring in the bow line. After both men had hoisted themselves aboard with an easy strength Mandy envied, Ray set off for the diving grounds on the outer reef, which was on the opposite side of the island. Gradually Mandy relaxed. Before the accident she had spent many long, contented days in small boats, as opposed to only a few hellish hours after the crash. Most of her memories of small boats, unlike those associated with small planes, were good.

After a time Mandy let out a long breath and turned to Sutter with a smile, letting herself enjoy the gentle motion of the boat on the blue swells. Sutter smiled down at Mandy in return, watching her with affection and pride and the sensual hunger that was so much a part of him when he was close to her.

The boat turned, bringing the sun behind Sutter’s profile. Mandy realized that sunlight and seawater had bleached his hair until it was incandescent shades of flax and gold, pale wheat and tropical sunshine. Dense, amber eyelashes shaded the green intensity of his eyes. The aggressive Scandinavian planes of his face showed cleanly beneath his taut, tanned skin. His male power and vitality were heightened by the black wet suit that was molded to his body. She watched him and wondered if she were pregnant, and which parent the baby would resemble.

Would our child be like you, beautiful enough to break my heart? Would our baby have your intense green eyes and burning gold hair, your incisive mind and your glorious passion for life? Am I carrying that child even now? God, I hope so! Believing that will give me the courage to let you go with a smile and a final, silent cry of love.

The boat came to a stop, shaking Mandy out of her private speculations. She realized she had been staring at Sutter for a long time. He wasn’t disturbed by that, for he had been staring at her with equal absorption. She wondered what he had been thinking or if he had guessed her own thoughts.

“Over you go,“ Ray said to Sutter.

Sutter shrugged his tanks into place, checked the air feed and positioned his mask before he sat on the gunwale with his back to the water. If he had been diving with Americans he would have given the traditional thumbs-up before he went over backward into the sea. But he was diving in Australia, where that particular hand signal was an insult.

“Mandy? Want me to lift you over?“ Ray asked.

She hesitated, then said, “Thanks. The first few times it would be easier if I didn’t go in with a splash.“

“No worries, luv. I never complain about the chance to get my hands on a good-looking Sheila. Put those long legs over the stern and your bum on the gunwale. I’ll support you until you’re ready to go in.“

With Ray’s help, Mandy maneuvered herself into position despite the cumbersome scuba gear strapped to her back. Ray braced her in place.

“Tell me when you’re ready. No hurry, luv. I’m having a good time. You smell much better than the last diver I helped over the edge.“

Mandy laughed. “Eau de wet suit, the new fashion sensation down under.“

Despite her laughter, Mandy’s hands grasping the gunwale showed white on the knuckles. There was a whole lot of ocean out there, blue on blue, fathom on fathom, swallowing the world.

Suddenly Sutter surfaced in the center of Mandy’s vision. Even darkened by the sea, his hair still looked like a piece of the sun. He tongued out his mouthpiece, caught the stern with one hand and hung before her in the clear water, smiling up at her.

“The denizens of the Fish Pond must have passed the word about free lunches,“ Sutter said easily. “The finned hordes are waiting for their goddess to descend with manna.“

“And me without a crust of bread to my name,“ Mandy said.

“They’ll understand. That’s the thing about friends, Mandy. They understand.“

She looked into his green eyes, eyes so vivid that no mask could conceal them. Suddenly she understood what Sutter was saying: he wouldn’t think less of her if she decided not to dive after all. Tears burned behind her eyelids. She took a deep breath, checked the airflow through the mouthpiece and nodded to Ray. He eased her over the stern and into the sea next to Sutter, not releasing her until she had a firm grasp on the boat’s gunwale.

“Thanks, luv,“ Ray said when she was in the water.

BOOK: Chain Lightning
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