Chance of the Heart (16 page)

Warm arms wrapped around Chance from behind. He’d been lost in thoughts as he sipped his coffee, looking out the kitchen window of Bradley’s cottage. His vision had zoned out as he stared at the slight morning fog that hung over the lake the cottage backed up to.

He smiled to himself as Bradley’s arms tightened around his chest and his lover kissed the back of his neck. Bradley’s chin came to rest on Chance’s shoulder with a grumbled “Good morning.” They stood quietly for a beat, bodies warming each other, bare chest to bare back. It was a new sensation, but one that Chance didn’t ever want to end.

“Mornin’,” Chance said, quietly so as not to break the peace of the moment in the still, quiet room. But a glance at the digital clock display on the microwave oven told him the time to get started with his day had arrived.

Chance reached for the coffee he’d prepared for Bradley when he’d heard the man stumble into the bathroom. He placed the mug in one of the hands that had been splayed over his heart and their bodies separated enough to let the cold back in. It seemed almost like a metaphor; together warm, cold apart. With that he shivered.

“You’re a Godsend,” Bradley said. When Chance turned to face him, the uncertainty in the man’s eyes made him sad. Bradley may be sure of himself when he got going in the bedroom, knew exactly what Chance needed, but it was clear he was as lost as Chance when it came to how to handle everything happening right now. He’d not have imagined it when he’d seen the aggressive cockiness the first time they’d seen each other again in Bar None. All that bravado and sexy charm, the way the man had thrown him against a wall and just made Chance his.

But lately, there was a vulnerability that was both surprising and incredibly endearing. Yes, the man still walked like he owned a room, still looked like that polished James Dean with a cowboy’s edge. Maybe it was just Chance who could see the difference. The fact he may be the only one to know the man like that warmed him to his toes.

Yessiree, I’m definitely gay.

He smiled to himself for a moment as he raised up just a little on his toes to kiss Bradley’s temple and give the man a gentle, one-armed hug. The warmth, again, was a balm. His mind was still, his breathing steady, his heart fluttering in a happy dance. He knew he’d sound ridiculous if anyone knew his thoughts, and he wouldn’t even pretend that he wasn’t out of his depth. He still was struggling to understand this new clarity. It’s like the switch had been flipped when he’d finally given in with Bradley, but like an old fluorescent bulb, it took a minute to light up. But once it was on… It was blinding and lit up everything so you could see the whole world around you. Finally.

Out of his depth or not, he damn sure knew he didn’t want to lose this or give up on it. Even now, Bradley was just letting him have the silence, letting him gather his thought, but not leaving him alone with them. They were comforting each other in the time they had left before he had to go.

Another glance at the clock and he grumbled to himself. This is not how they were supposed to end such a great night together, but the outside world was calling.

“I’m gonna have to get going here in a bit.”

Bradley stepped back, looking a little less wary than he had at first, the hug clearly having been what they both needed. “Yeah, I should probably get started with my own day,” Bradley said. Chance smiled at how cute it was to see such a big guy sulking like a five-year old.

Chance finished off his coffee and rinsed his mug before putting it in the dishwasher. “I’m gonna help clean up the mess that’ll undoubtedly be left after the party.”

Bradley had refilled his own mug and was sitting at the table, still blinking sleep from his puffy face, hair sticking up, continuing to sulk, though he seemed to think he was hiding it well behind the mug. Chance did his best not to grin.

“But I’ll swing back by tonight.” When Bradley’s eyes widened and snapped in Chance’s direction, he couldn’t help but chuckle. He wandered over to Bradley and kissed his soft, warm lips chastely. He’d
never
been so affectionate, so these urges were strange, but he was going to go with them. He’d already jumped in with both feet. Why deprive himself?

“You will?” Bradley asked.

“You’re surprised?”

“Well, I honestly was surprised when you were in the kitchen. I thought you’d gone already.”

Chance frowned, placing a hand on Bradley’s shoulder and squeezing. “Never again, not unless you don’t want me to stay or I have to leave.” Another glance at the time. “Shit. Like now. I pushed it a little, but I hoped I’d get to say good mornin’.” And like that, he got a winning smile from Bradley. As he walked by to go dress, Bradley gave his ass a firm smack that left his jeans feeling a little tighter in the front. Who would’ve known he’d be so fucking turned on by being spanked like a naughty child.

He made quick work of pulling his undershirt back on, foregoing the dress shirt from the night before. Bradley came in behind him and sat on his bed, pulling things from his messenger back.

Chance paused. “Brad?” He got a hummed response. “Just… that spanking thing.” That got the man’s attention. “You seemed angry. Does that only happen when you’re pissed?” He didn’t know why it mattered.

Bradley was up and in Chance’s face kissing him in less than a beat. The kiss was fierce and claiming and hot as fuck as their tongues danced together and Bradley growled into Chance’s mouth. When Bradley finally pulled back, broad chest rising and falling heavily, Chance could only imagine how he must look after being so thoroughly owned by just a simple fucking kiss.

“No. I did that because we both needed it. I probably was angry at first. I guess a little part of me wanted to say ‘You’ve been a bad boy’ because you hurt me so bad walking around the party with that woman when you’re
mine
.” Bradley ran his hands over his head. “Which I had no right to do because you weren’t mine yet.”

Chance nodded. “Yes, I was.” He didn’t know where the flirty drawl came from when he said, “I’d been a bad boy.’”

Bradley’s eyes darkened and he took a step forward, like he might lunge and rip Chance’s clothes off and damn, did Chance want that. Right. Now.

But Bradley stopped, closed his eyes, and sighed. “No. You gotta go and I got some work to do.” Another step back and Chance shook himself. Damn, how was it every time he was in the man’s presence he forgot everything else.

He quickly slid his feet in his boots, donned his Stetson and with a wave and a wink was out the door quickly, so as not to jump the man right there.

Jesus. So this is why all my friends acted stupid when they figured out what their peckers were for.
Because Chance had most definitely figured out what
his
had been made for.

He should have been more stressed, but as he drove home, he just smiled to himself. Not even the tears in his beer music on the early morning radio could get on his nerves.

But he reminded himself to slow his roll. He had decisions to make. How would he deal with coming out? He also was still doing the down-low shit to help Caitlin out until they both figured out how to drop that bomb on their families and friends. God, and what about the restaurant? Did he really want to run this ranch forever? Would his dad even want him to?

And Bradley might be leaving in just over two months. Shit. And now that he was miles away from his man, the stress did seem to be creeping in. He supposed this is what coming down from a good high felt like. Definitely worse things to be addicted to than Bradley Heart though.

A few minutes later, he parked his truck in the garage beneath his loft. He’d gotten his mind focused on the work at hand rather than the clusterfuck he’d started mulling over on his way home. He’d barely made it to the backyard after changing clothes before David was ambling from the direction of the barn.

“What’re you doing here, Dave-O? Thought y’all were off this weekend for the party?” Chance looked out over the mess in his parents’ large back yard. The mess even extended into the pastures behind and beside the house. That’s usually how it ended up at one of his parents’ shindigs anyway. They could easily handle three-hundred people, so the spillover and drunk people meant people didn’t always get their trash in barrels and they didn’t always stick to designated parking/party areas.

“Man, you left some riled up people in your wake.”

Chance turned to his friend, not surprised by the news, but surprised David seemed to be so miffed. “My parents pulled a fool move last night.”

David shook his head, scowling. “No, you did. You know how many of us wish our parents would
give
us a house, Becket? I mean damn. That was right disrespectful of you, throwing it in their faces like that.”

Chance’s jaw grew slack. His good-natured friend rarely snapped at him, especially when he was officially on the clock, like now. “What the hell, David?”

“I’m just trying to understand you. You been all different for months now. You hardly talk to me, not that you was ever one for talking much, but you did more than you do these days. And now you’re all high-and-mighty with your parents, ditch your girl who happens to also be one of my oldest friends.”

Chance’s jaw had snapped shut, now clenched as he moved quickly from surprised to annoyed to livid.

“They’re
giving
you a house.
Giving
you a ranch.”

“If you knew me so well, were such a ‘good old buddy’ you’d know I don’t
want
the fucking ranch.”

David stumbled back, eyes wide. “What’re you talking about?”

“ You wanted me to talk more… Well here it is. Everyone assumes what I want, that what’s good enough for them is good enough for me… but I’ve been asking myself if it is good enough for me for months, years now. Why do you think Caitlin wanted a break? And what my folks did, she and I
agreed
was a knuckle-headed thing to do. So I don’t know who you are coming at me first thing in the morning with this shit but you’re no friend to me. I’m beginning to wonder if anyone other than Caitlin was friend enough to pay any fucking attention to what might be going on.”

“We’re not fuckin’ mind readers, jackass.”

Chance stared at his friend. He was right and Chance didn’t know why he was going off so hard but… “No. Even I know I’ve been a mess for years. But no one had shit to say so long as I didn’t fuck with the status quo. Now I’m trying to actually start being the man I want to be, now that I’m
happy
, I’m the bad guy?”

David blinked for a second before grabbing Chance’s arm and leading him further away from the house. Chance protested at first but saw that their bickering had gotten the attention of Chance’s mama and Caitlin who were looking at them out the French doors.

Chance and David forced smiles, waving at the ladies who didn’t seem to believe they were okay, if their expressions said anything, but didn’t seem inclined to join them outside since they were still in their bathrobes.

When they’d gone a good several yards, David stopped, eying Chance like one would a puzzle. Chance had lost some of his fight. Yes, he’d been annoyed, some because he realized no one knew him, but how could they when he’d barely known himself up until recently? But he also had been pissed that his friend did something he realized most everyone in his life did, jumped his ass first and asked questions later.