Changes (6 page)

“Figures.” The big one stared down at him from the other side of the counter, and puffed.

“I’m sorry.” Jimmy swallowed a now dry mouth. He had to think of something to say. He had to think of a good reason to be in the labs. He wasn’t allowed in there, he knew that, so he had to come up with something that made sense. “I’m still trying to get used to this place.” That sounded good. He only hoped it would work.

“You do know that the labs are off limits to you
rent-a-cops
don’t you? There’s classified shit back there that we can’t let some cheaply paid shit like you see.”

The big man’s eyes showed none of the anger that his voice showed and that made Jimmy feel nervous. It also made him feel surprised. He looked more than just pleased; he also looked like he was enjoying himself. “Like I said, I just got a little lost. I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.” He nodded and winced.

“It better not.” The large officer walked around the counter to his left side and there he stopped, looking down at him. Standing right next to him, he looked like a tree. “If I see you back there again, I’ll have your ass out of here so fast that you won’t know what bit you?”

Again, Jimmy nodded, and again he winced.

The large officer smiled and brushed his neatly combed blonde hair from his forehead with the back of his overly large hand. “Good. I think we understand each other then?” He said nothing else, turned, and went to the stairs and quickly made his way up them.

The other uniformed officer came to the counter and stopped directly in front of him.

The young man watched Gary reach the top of the stairs, and when he was sure that he wouldn‘t hear him, he looked down to the counter. “Don’t mind him. He hates everyone.” He smiled down to the new guy. “In fact, I think he hates himself more than others.” He laughed.

Jimmy smiled. It took everything he had to do just that.

“I’m Mattie.” He held out his right hand over the top of the counter for him to take.

Jimmy leaned forward, shook the man’s hand, but stayed seated. “Jimmy—or James Walls.” He tried to smile again, but still couldn’t bring himself to do it. He still had no idea what he was supposed to do, so he stayed with what always worked for him best—he said nothing at all.

“Nice to meet you Jimmy.” The man let go of his hand. “I’m rather new here too, so I know how hard it is to find your way around this place.” He smiled. He looked pleased. He looked like he meant everything he said.

It made Jimmy relax some. It made him feel better.

“See you around.” The young officer turned and headed to the stairs, and like Gary before him, went up them and disappeared to the second floor.

Jimmy watched him leave carefully. When they were both gone, he turned back to the Closed Circuit TV screens on the counter and took an enormously heavy breath and sighed. He could do nothing else and now felt hesitant to do anything else for the rest of the night.

Jimmy woke up a little after five in the afternoon, feeling even more tired than he felt when he went to bed. Working overnight felt tough, he knew that it would be, but at the same time, he found it difficult to function right. He could only hope that it would all soon pass, sooner rather than later. He climbed out of bed feeling more than just wobbly, he felt downright weak. It took everything he had just to get out of his bedroom, and slowly, he made his way through the living room and into the kitchen. Making a fresh pot of coffee, he went back to the living room and sat down on the sofa, and turned on the television to the five o’clock news on channel six. Since beginning his new schedule, this became his ritual, and a habit that he started to like. With the TV on, he sat back and waited for the coffee to finish brewing.

Today in Redford Forge, a gruesome discovery happened this morning, and it’s our top story of the day,
the head newscaster stated first and foremost. He looked like a middle-aged man with white hair and a smooth voice, and looked the very part of a seasoned newscaster.

Jimmy watched him, but never really heard what he said. He just stared at the anchorman, and found himself just staring at his face.
They always sound and look that way.
He watched and thought of nothing else.

The news anchor continued;
The police discovered an unidentified body of a young woman just outside of Forge Road, east of town, early this morning. Police have made little description of the victim, but they did say that an animal attack happened early in the morning and that it appears that the woman was jogging when the attack occurred. More details are forthcoming and we will keep you informed as those details come.

Jimmy listened to the coffeemaker brewing. The smell of deep coffee filtered all around his apartment. It smelled so damn good that so much so, he couldn’t wait to get a cup. He hated this feeling and hated having to wait for anything. He was far less patient than most people ever gave him credit for, and he knew it.

Unsatisfied, he stood up, left the living room, and walked back into the kitchen. He looked down at the pot and found it only half-full and half finished. Seeing it, he sighed. It appeared that he had to wait a little while longer, so he decided to go ahead and take a shower instead. By then, it should be finished. By then, he should be more awake and better able to enjoy it when it was.

He left the kitchen and made his way to the bathroom, down a narrow hallway near the bedroom, and went inside and took a hot shower. He let the water wash away all of the tiredness from his mind. When he finished, he walked back out to the kitchen and looked back to the maker again. It looked ready, so he poured himself a cup and went back into the living room and sat back down on the sofa. He took a deep sip. The coffee tasted hot, but it satisfied. He continued drinking; casually taking small sip after small sip, until he noticed the clock on the left wall now read that it was nearly six.

Damn time flies.
It was almost time to get dressed. It was almost time to start his night. Sitting there, slouched down some in only his towel, he looked down at his belly and sighed. He couldn’t help but notice it. He brought his left hand up, and rubbed it with an open palm.
I’m getting fat.
He slapped it hard with his still open palm with a hollow echoing sound bouncing off the walls after he did it. By the looks of it, it was also getting larger.
I have to get things back together. I have to get back into shape.
He took another sip, and found the coffee no longer hot, but now only luck warm. It also looked nearly gone.
I’m thirty-three years old and I’m starting to look like I’m forty.
He stood up from the sofa, looked down, and couldn’t even see the towel or his own feet beneath the belly. He was getting fat all right. He almost felt like he was spiraling out of control. He shook his head and then nodded right after the thought, sighing with a heavy wince.
I’ve got to start eating better. I need more exercise. I’ve got to get back on track.
He was right of course, but
later.
He couldn’t do anything about it now, so why think about it. Seeing it, and thinking that, he didn’t want to see anything else, so he turned and left the living room and headed back to his bedroom. He went straight to the closet at the foot of the bed. It was time to get dressed.

With his light blue uniform on, and his second cup of coffee in hand, he left the living room and headed back into the kitchen. He took his thermos to the pot, filled it with the rest of the coffee, and when he finished, he made himself a turkey and cheese sandwich for dinner. With his hands full, he left the kitchen, headed back into the living room, and took a heavy seat back on the sofa. He then looked back to the clock on the wall and saw that it was now nearly eight. Another couple of hours and it was back to work again. Frankly, he couldn’t wait to go. The apartment sounded too quiet. He started feeling too out of place within it. He started feeling that he had to get out. Being alone with nothing but that emptiness made him start to miss Sally. It made him miss the noises.

When ten o’clock came, he stood up quickly, grabbed his keys, and headed out the door with a bounce in his step. He felt happy that he had somewhere to go. He felt happy to get back to work. Driving out of his neighborhood and heading east, the night seemed overly calm around him. The moon was out; brightly illuminating the world with a wonder that only it could create. It made everything look magical. It made everything look right. He started getting used to the perfection of night, and it looked like a beautiful night for summer.

The drive only took half-an-hour, but it seemed ten times as long. The breeze hit him as he stood outside the car. The air felt warm. The peace around him felt calming. God, what a night it was?

Making his way through the front doors of the lobby, he relieved Pat Moore, and took his place behind the counter with a glee in his heart. There he waited for the first hour to go by and for his first tour to begin, and again, he couldn’t wait to start it. Thinking about his belly, he knew that he needed to get back into shape. Sitting there wasn’t going to do it, but the tour, he felt sure, was just what he needed to get started. It ended up not being a long wait after all.

Twelve o’clock came, so he left the desk, made his way up the stairs, and hit his chips as he walked. He moved swiftly and with purpose, and before he knew it, he was back at the entrance to the labs. Reaching them, he took a deep and solid breath, looked at the double doors, and looked through the windows in them. Unlike the night before, this time, he found the hallway behind them dark and quiet. Seeing it, he became instantly disappointed. It was then, and only then, he realized why he felt like he was. He wanted to see her again. He wanted to see Rachel. It explained a lot. That’s why he wanted to go to work. That’s why he wanted to start his tour. That’s why he wanted to get back into shape. It wasn’t his quiet apartment. It wasn’t him missing Sally. It had to be Rachel, and now knowing that, and seeing that she wasn’t there, his heart sank and his mind went to a subtle blankness all too fast. Realizing what he thought, and losing the bounce in his step, he turned and left the entrance to the labs and continued his tour. There wasn’t anything left to do, so he finished the tour smoothly. He returned to his counter and sat back behind it with a heavy heart.

Oh well, another one bites the dust.
He placed the radio next to the computer screen and leaned back some in his chair. He sat there, staring at the Closed Circuit Television screens, until the sounds of someone coming brought him out of the fog that he felt. Looking up, he saw Collins coming down the steps and towards him.

“Good evening,” Collins said first. He walked with a skip in his stride. He felt happy. He felt content and it showed. He loved moving around. He loved the freedom in his heart. He smiled strongly as he bounced to the last step.

“Evening.” Jimmy almost whispered. He still felt disappointed and completely unhappy and he sounded it.

Collins noticed it instantly. “Why the long face?” He stopped at the counter and placed a solid left hand on top of it with a slap of the palm. He felt so wonderful that it seemed nearly impossible to keep himself contained. He also felt happy to see his new friend.

Jimmy shook his head. “It’s nothing.” He sighed, but it sounded more like a wince.

“Can’t be just nothing? Looks like someone stole your puppy or something?” He smiled and chuckled some. He really liked this security guard, and for more than what he did for him yesterday. He had something about him that felt special. He just had to find out what that special meant.

“I was hoping to see someone tonight.” Jimmy leaned in towards the counter. He brought his belly flush with it and placed his elbows to the top of the desk. He sighed his feelings out to anyone that cared to listen.

“What the hell am I, chopped liver?” Collins leaned in further to the young guard. “I’m someone.” He smiled.

“Wrong sex.” The chair beneath him groaned some. He felt almost convinced that the sound came from his own heart breaking. It felt shattered even.
You just met her. Why the hell are you thinking this way about someone you just met?
He didn’t know and quite frankly, he didn’t care.

“Ahhhhh.” Collins laughed some. “I see.” He now nodded. “Mind if I ask who?”

“Rachel.” Jimmy still whispered, almost sounding like he was a small boy who had just lost his most favorite toy.

It all made Collins laugh even harder. “Rachel, huh? You mean Rachel Garland, right?”

Jimmy nodded.

Collins did as well. “She’s a nice piece of meat, I’d say that.” He laughed again. “Why were you looking for her tonight? She’s only here during the day, I thought?”

Jimmy heard only the meat part and that brought his face up. “Don’t call her that. She was nice,” he shot out. His reaction was enough to tell him that he did like her more than he originally thought, even though he still didn’t know why. He just knew he did, but none of this seemed to matter now anyway. With her not there, he didn’t know how to go on from there. But, he did feel somewhat angry. His face still turned hot.

“Hey? I didn’t mean it that way.” Collins shook his head forcefully, showing him that what he said, he truly meant. He flared his shoulders as well. “Just that she’s fine looking, that’s all.”

“Yeah.” Jimmy nodded.
She was definitely that.

“Why don’t you give her a call?” Collins’ smile faded from his face and a solemn blankness replaced it. “She should be listed.” He pointed with his right hand to the computer screen. He added to that, and slapped it with an open palm.

Jimmy nodded again, but then shook his head strongly.
No. I can’t do that. Absolutely not!
He knew what he was referring. Every employee at the labs had their names and addresses listed on a menu in the computer. To look up someone for a personal reason was against the rules. Not only that, but it was wrong as hell to violate someone’s privacy like that too. He couldn’t do it. That wasn’t his style. That wasn’t him. “I can’t do that.” He shook his head stronger.
Who the hell does this guy think he is?
His face grew hotter as the anger only grew in him.

“Why the fuck not? Fingers don’t work or something?” Collins moved closer to the counter and stopped directly by his left side. He bent down, and squatted to his knees. Doing so brought him even closer to his new friend. He had to take a deep breath to smell him right. “All that you need should be in there? Her address, phone numbers, everything is right there. All you have to do is look.” He brought his left hand up and then brought it back down to his knee. The slap seemed to echo all around the lobby as he tried to prove his point.

His smell gripped Jimmy all at once, but he tried to push the thought of gagging out of his mind. He started to like Collins some, and didn’t want to be rude to him. Again, he just shook his head. “That’s invasion of privacy.”

“Who’s going to tell?” Collins stood back straight.

The smell eased some and it made Jimmy happy that it did. “You.” He looked up. His eyes seemed to squint.

The look made Collins laugh even harder yet. It made him look like a lost puppy that just wanted to find its way home. “Why the hell would I say anything? I’m just the rat here.” He left the side of the counter, made his way around it to the opposite side again, and turned back around and faced him. “You have to learn to take chances my boy, if you’re going to get ahead in this world.”

With that Jimmy laughed. “You sound like a friend of mine.” Brandon’s face crossed his thoughts.

“Sounds like a good friend that knows what he’s talking about?” Collins leaned on the counter, and smiled a full and hearty smile. His awful teeth shined.

The sight of it just caused Jimmy to laugh again. “Yeah.”

“Well, suit yourself my friend.” Collins shrugged as he left the counter and headed to the glass front doors. There he stopped and spun back around. “You are different aren’t you?” he had to ask.

A question that made Jimmy then look up to him and then stand up. “What does that mean?”

“I’m not suggesting anything really bad, my friend.” Collins shrugged his shoulders and brushed his shaggy hair from his face. “I just feel that you’re different from most people. I like different.” He smiled.

Jimmy sighed. “I guess.” He sat back down.