Changing Forever (15 page)

A
S
THE
WARM
WATER
FALLS
on my back, I relive the final plays of the game in my head. Wisconsin stormed back after halftime, taking the lead, and I struggled with almost every pass I threw in the third quarter. I came back strong in the fourth, though, and in the final minute of the game, down by one point, I got my chance to lead my team down the field.

It’s when I excel … when I have the most pressure on me. I threw four perfect passes, the last one in the end zone to give my team the win. It was closer than I would have liked, but in the end, all that matters is getting the win. How we got there isn’t as important.

“Chambers, are you going to the party tonight?” It’s Trip, my center. The guy likes to have a good time just like most of my other teammates, but he’s cool.

“Maybe.” I shut the shower off, grabbing my towel from the hook.

“There’s no maybes today, man. Donovan invited two sororities, and I hate to tell you this, but you need to get laid.”

“Shut up,” I say, walking toward the locker with my last name spelled across the top.

“And that’s why,” he shouts, laughing behind me.

In football, your teammates are like your brothers. You do anything for each other to keep the team unified, even if that means going to a party you’d rather skip.

When I wrote the note earlier inviting Emery to meet me tonight, I wasn’t sure whether she would show up or not. I’ve messed with her a lot, and she’s probably thinking this is just one of those times.

I pull on my faded blue jeans and a green polo, topping it all off with a brown blazer that Coach insists we wear to and from the field on game day to keep up a professional appearance.

As I slide on my brown dress shoes, I glance around the locker room, watching most of my teammates leave. Deep down in the pit of my stomach, I’m worried she’s not going to show. It’s easier to sit inside and tell myself she might be out there waiting for me, than to actually see she’s not.

After waiting a couple more minutes, I gather up my gym bag and head out the door.

Holding my breath, I glance up and down the hall, looking for any sign of her. She’s not here. The game ended almost forty-five minutes ago, and she’s had more than enough time to make it down here.

I guess this is what I get for sticking my neck out, for taking a chance, and most importantly, for being an asshole. Only one girl in nineteen years has truly interested me, and I fucking blew it before anything ever started.

“Drake.”

As I spin around, I let out the breath I’ve been holding. She’s standing a few feet in front of me, and I have to admit my jersey has never looked so good.

“Hi,” I say, quieter than I intended. She takes a few steps in my direction, causing one side of my mouth to turn up. She looks so damn hot, and for a second, I let myself picture her in nothing but my jersey. It’s never going to happen, but a guy can dream.

“You take a little longer in the shower than the other guys,” she teases, nervously brushing some of hair behind her ear.

This time, I’m the one to close some of the space between us. I use my fingertips to move a few strands of hair she missed, causing her to briefly close her eyes. “I was giving you time to get down here.”

She smiles, tilting her head to the side. “You thought I wasn’t going to show?”

I laugh, avoiding her eyes the way I’m about to avoid the truth. “Nah, I knew you’d show. It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity.”

“Really?”

I shrug. “Of course, who wouldn’t want to spend the night with me?”

“You’re probably right but, if I spend the night with you, I’ll probably never want to do it again,” she teases, stepping back far enough that I can’t touch her, which is probably a good idea on her part.

“Okay, smartass, let’s get out of here. We have plans.” I start down the hall, not grabbing her hand like I have in the past when we were alone. I invited her to go with me tonight because I know she’d never go to a party like the one we’re about to experience on her own. I also know that I’ll have a much better time if she’s with me … I want to get to know her better.

There’s a connection I feel toward her, but I also know we can’t be more than friends. There have been times I’ve wished I’d met her at a different point in my life—a time when I had less pressure, and things were stable. I think if given the opportunity, we could have something really fucking good between us.

But, I’ve got my drawbacks, and she deserves someone better than me.

When we step out onto the parking lot, there are a few players still lingering about. I’m not ashamed of Emery, but I don’t want them to get the wrong idea about why we’re together so I place my hand on her lower back, hurrying us along. This is the first time I’ve ever been near them with a girl who I’m serious about … one I actually want to have a real friendship with. The last thing I want is for Emery to be a part of their stupid fucking locker room chatter. She doesn’t deserve that, and she’s certainly not going to become the team’s latest ping-pong ball.

Quickly opening the passenger door, I use my hand to guide her into the seat and shut the door before hurrying to the driver’s side. I make sure no one is watching us before climbing inside.

I pull my car out of the lot before looking over at Emery. Her elbow is propped up against the door, her forehead resting against her closed fist. I’d say she’s not very happy right now.

“Are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” She won’t even look at me.

My temper starts to creep up as I grip my steering wheel tighter in my hands. I always have the best intentions, but my execution sucks. “Look, I’m sorry about what just happened. I don’t want the guys to get the wrong idea about you.”

Her head snaps in my direction, a confused look on her face. “Wrong idea about what?”

“About what we’re doing. I haven’t been in a single relationship since I got here, so anytime I’m with a girl, it’s—”

“For sex?” she cuts me off.

I scrub my hand over my chin while I formulate my response. Technically, the answer is yes, but I don’t want her to think it happens all the time. “If you want me to be honest … yes, but it’s probably not like you think.”

She looks down at her fingers before moving her eyes back to me, her mouth opening and closing a couple times before she finds her words. “Are you embarrassed to be seen with me?”

My mouth falls open before I regain my composure. She’s wrong. She’s so fucking wrong … she should be embarrassed to be seen with me. “No, I’m not embarrassed to be seen with you. I didn’t want the guys to think we’re together like that. You’re not the type of girl they’re used to seeing me with, and you don’t deserve the things they’d say if they thought we were.”

“I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself.”

I pull up to a stoplight, taking the opportunity to sneak another look at her. “I know, but I’m not going to put you in that position if I can help it.”

She shakes her head, keeping her sights on the passing streetlights.

“Have you ever been to a college party?” I ask, trying to do what I do best and change the subject.

She studies me for a few seconds before she answers. “I went to Beau’s.”

“Emery, that was a get-together, not a party.”

“What’s the difference?”

Normally, I would laugh at this conversation, but Emery’s not dumb. She’s just naïve, and I want to help her open her eyes to the world outside of her studies. “I could count the number of people at Beau’s on my fingers and toes. What I’m talking about is a packed house, kegs of beer, and loud music.”

“Then no, I’ve never been to a college party before.”

I pull my car onto the street that will host tonight’s post game party, looking for a space to park. “We’re going to change that then.”

After squeezing my car into a small space, I turn it off and pull my blazer off my shoulders. “Ready?” I ask, reaching for my door handle.

She opens the door without replying, and I’m left to try and catch up.

“Emery!”

She keeps walking, following the crowd to the front door of a two-story brick house. She needs her space. I get it, but if she thinks she’s going to run away from me and disappear into that house by herself, she’s wrong. So fucking wrong.

The crowd inside slows her progress, allowing me to catch up. “What do you think you’re doing?” I ask, lightly wrapping my hand around her wrist.

She tries to pull away, but I don’t let her go. “Let go of me.”

“Answer my question.”

“You have a lot of nerve, you know? You can’t walk through a freaking parking lot with me, but you want to go to a party together. You don’t make any sense.”

Letting go of her wrist, I step back. I’m a fucking walking contradiction. All the things I was worried about back in that parking lot are nothing compared to what people are going to think if we’re here together. I get so caught up in the little things sometimes that I miss the bigger picture. I guess I thought when we got to the party, we’d blend in, but I forgot who I am. There’s no chance I’m going in there unnoticed.

“That’s what I thought,” she says, pulling my jersey over her head. “Why don’t you give this to someone who has time for your mind games. I’ve got better things to do.”

And just like that, she turns, walking deeper into the packed crowd. I should follow her, but I know I deserve it, and she needs her space.

I wanted to protect her. Fuck, maybe I wanted to protect myself. Every minute I spend with her is beginning to mean something to me. I want to be around her, and watch her do things that might make her smile. She’s so closed up all the time, and I know she’ll regret it at some point. There are
things in life everyone should experience. I had every intention of doing this with her, but I never imagined she would read so much into the distance I was putting between us.

After circling the living room, I walk into the kitchen and find her grabbing a soda from one of the coolers. At least she’s not drinking, I think, as I lean my shoulder against the wall to watch her. The cheerleader who brought the note to her at halftime, Missy I think her name is, appears at her side, and they start talking. When Emery rolls her eyes, I can only assume they’re talking about me, and I take it as my cue to disappear again. That’s my plan for the night—give her some space while keeping her in my sights.

I’m not more than three steps into the crowd when a small hand wraps around my bicep. As I turn, I realize it’s not who I’d hoped.

“Hey, Drake, good game today.” Fuck. It’s Olivia. I swear she has a GPS chip embedded under my skin or something.

“Thanks,” I mutter, scanning the people around me. It’s about time I find Emery again.

“Do you want some company tonight?”

“Do I look like I want company tonight?” I haven’t looked her in the eyes once. That should be a hint.

“You’re obviously looking for something. Let me help you,” she says, snaking her finger between two of the buttons on my shirt.

I pull her hand away from my chest. “That’s not going to happen tonight or any other night. How much longer is it going to take before that sinks in?”

She purses her bright red lips as she looks over my shoulder. “It’s your loss,” she says, leaning in to kiss my cheek before I have a chance to react.

I watch as she walks away with a grin on her face. Girls like her make me want to lock my sisters up for the rest of their lives. I guess I want them to be more like Emery. I don’t want them to chase after guys, especially ones like me.

After straightening my shirt, I walk to the corner of the room where a makeshift bar is setup and throw back two beers. I need something to loosen all the damn tension in my body. Two probably won’t cut it, but I need to keep an eye on Emery.

Scanning the room again, I see her standing with Cole Dillon, laughing at whatever he’s talking about. Cole’s one of the few guys on the team who I don’t consider to be a complete dickhead, at least when it comes to the way he treats girls. He’s one of the only guys who doesn’t disappear into a bedroom every Saturday night at these parties. He’s also the type of guy Emery deserves, which makes watching this that much more difficult.

I stay put, trying to convince myself she’s a big girl and can do what she wants, but I’m not good at this, and it all goes out the fucking window when he puts his hand on her arm. My jaw clenches as I walk to where they stand, ignoring the crowds of people I pass. Just as I reach them, Emery throws her head back in laughter again, and Cole looks at her with a loving glint in his eye. At this point, he’ll be lucky if I throw the ball to him at all next Saturday.

When Emery finally sees me, she stops, putting her hand on Cole’s forearm. “Hey, Drake, why didn’t you tell me Cole was so funny?”

My cheeks are probably bright red, because my face is fucking burning. “I guess I didn’t realize Cole was a comedian off the field.” There’s a venomous bite to my voice. The way his expression changes tells me he heard it.

“He was telling me stories about the team’s road trips. I’m surprised any of these guys have girlfriends.” She smiles, bumping her shoulder against his. If she’s trying to irritate me, she’s doing a great job.

I clench my fists at my sides, trying hard to hold myself back. “I think it’s time for us to go,” I say, staring straight at her.

“But I’m just starting to have fun. Besides, you didn’t really want to come here together anyway. I’m sure Cole will give me a ride home.” She looks up to Cole again, and I swear to God she winks.

I can’t do this anymore. I know she’s mad about what happened earlier, and if she’s trying to get back at me, she’s succeeding. I can’t remember the last time I wanted to punch somebody, especially someone I like.

Grabbing her free hand in mine, I walk to the door, giving her no choice but to follow. At first she drags her feet, but I’m almost double her weight. She’s not going to win this battle.

“Drake!” She tries to pull her fingers from mine, but I win again.

“We’re leaving,” I say, not bothering to look back.