Changing Forever (5 page)

The weight on my chest becomes a little heavier again as the smile falls from my face. I hate what I did to Clay, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t the right decision. “This might not be the best day to talk about that.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry,” she says softly in an attempt to back track.

“It’s okay. Maybe someday we can talk about it, but not today.” I wonder if Kate would understand me. Would she see how my past plays a part in everything I do, every decision I make? She’d probably tell me it’s time to move on … and maybe it is.

“Are you ready to go?” Kate asks, glancing around the room again.

“Yeah, let’s get out of here.” I stand from the bed and toss my hair over my shoulders. It’s a good thing I came home between classes, because I’m already feeling a lot better after getting a couple minutes to myself and talking to Kate. Maybe she’ll become a new part to my ritual.

As we make our way across campus, I run a few ideas for my assignment by Kate. Drake’s not helping, and I need to make sure my concepts make sense to someone.

She nods often as I take her through my plan. “It’s actually perfect. I’ve never thought too much about why I am the way I am, and I never knew my dad so I have no idea if I’m anything like him. From what my mom says, probably not. I can tell you’ve thought about it a lot, though.”

After shrugging my shoulders, I tuck my fingers into my front pockets. “Thanks. I guess I’m just very passionate about it.”

When we get to our classroom, we take our seats right next to each other in the front of the room. Our professor is an older gentleman on the verge of retirement, and he isn’t always the easiest person to hear or understand.

“Are you ladies going to the game tomorrow?” I swear to God. I thought I was done with him for the day, but as it turns out, there’s nowhere to hide from Drake Chambers. Until right now, I had no idea he was even in this class. Maybe this is the first time he’s been to biology this semester.

“We have better things to do. Like memorizing all the past presidents in order of their presidency,” I reply, not even bothering to turn around. The cockiness that was missing earlier in the hallway is back, and I have my shield up.

“What about you? Are you memorizing the presidents with the brown-eyed devil over here?” he asks Kate. He probably sees her as his next conquest, and I’m going to put that idea to bed right now.

“She’s hanging out with her super nice and very sexy boyfriend,” I interject, catching Kate’s eye.

“I think she can answer for herself.” By the sound of Drake’s voice, I know he’s closer, and as I feel his warm breath against my neck, I know he’s too damn close.

Kate interrupts, “I don’t know why you two even bother talking to each other.”

“If Professor McGill hadn’t assigned us to work on a group project, we wouldn’t have to,” I answer, glaring at Kate. She knows why I’m stuck with the jerk.

Even though I can’t see Drake, I can still feel him right behind me. “Speaking of that stupid fucking project, are we still getting together tonight?”

“I can’t. I have study group.”

“When don’t you have study group?” Closing my eyes, I try to pretend that his proximity isn’t affecting me.

“Tomorrow,” I reply, opening my eyes again. Not able to hide from him any longer, I turn to face him, hoping he’ll back away. That he’ll see anger written all over my face and leave me alone.

He doesn’t.

I notice his once blank eyes are now lit by fire. Whatever mask he had on earlier has come off, and this is what’s left. I don’t necessarily like it, but I want to make it burn hotter.

“I have a game,” he finally replies.

“Well, then it’s going to have to be Sunday.” I try to keep my eyes on his, but his perfect pink lips are hard to ignore. Impossible actually.

“Have it your way, but I won’t be up until at least noon, since there’s a party tomorrow night,” he says, sounding matter of fact. Like it’s something I should already know. Those lips don’t seem quite as perfect anymore … in fact, the more he opens his mouth, the less I like them.

“Yeah, I’d hate for you to miss the party. Nothing like wasting a night getting drunk.”

Kate groans. “Seriously, you guys. Lecture is about to start.”

“I can’t stand him,” I whisper to her, turning around in my chair.

“I see that. Can you finish this later?”

Drake sits back in his seat, giving me the space I’ve been craving. “I’ll call you on Sunday when I get up.”

“You gave him your phone number?” Kate asks, her eyes going wide.

“Of course she did.” Drake smirks, twirling his pencil between his fingers.

“God, I hate him,” I say as we wait for the professor.

“Sometimes people mistake hate for like,” Kate says, her smile growing bigger.

Without missing a beat, I ask, “Did you ever hate Beau?”

“No,” she says without even a second of hesitation.

“Exactly.”

T
ODAY
ENDED
WITH
ANOTHER
GAME
in the win column, which means tonight’s party is going to be crazy. Some Saturday nights I’m pumped to go, and others I’d rather stay home. Tonight, I’m leaning more toward the latter.

My shoulders are killing me, and I fell hard on my side, leaving a decent bruise on my hip. My body is screaming at me to lay low, but I always feel like it’s my duty to go because I’m the quarterback … the leader of the team.

Tonight I’m riding with Gavin, and if I’m lucky, I’ll be able to sneak out after a couple drinks and get a good night’s sleep.

“Got a girl lined up for tonight?” he asks as we come to a slow at a stoplight. We managed to ride quietly up to this point, listening to rap songs on the radio.

“No, dude, you know it’s not like that for me. I leave that shit to you guys.” Since the day I stepped foot on this campus last year, I felt like there was a difference between the way I am and the way my teammates expected me to be. It made me uneasy at first because I was the new guy … the fucking freshman, but I think they’re used to it now.

“Don’t act like you’re so fucking perfect, Drake. College isn’t supposed to be your ticket to sainthood.” He pulls in front of tonight’s party house and turns off the ignition. “Have a little fun.”

Ignoring him, I open my door and step out into the stale summer air. I’m going to need another shower when I get back to my room tonight because this hot, humid weather is ridiculous. I walk up the sidewalk that leads to the oversized brick house, taking the front steps two at a time. From the outside, I can tell this place is packed, which means it’s probably hot as fuck in there.

Before going inside, I turn back around, causing Gavin to practically run into my chest. “I never said I was perfect. Besides, you don’t have to fuck a different girl every weekend just because you play football.”

I watch his eyes double in size under the porch light. I let Gavin give me shit about a lot of things, but I’m sick of hearing about this.

“Now, let’s go inside and get drunk.”

Without waiting for a response, I push open the door and step inside the foyer and into the view of everyone in the large, packed living room. The crowd erupts just like they do when I make a play during the football game. This is the part I hate. The attention. The invisible pedestal. This isn’t what I’m about.

Gavin pats my back, pushing me forward. “Showtime, Chambers.”

I put on the customary grin and work my way through the crowd, giving high-fives along the way. It’s so fucking hot in here, and bodies are pressed so close that I have to shoulder my way through. A few girls grind up next to me as I pass them, but I don’t play along. I’m not in the mood for that tonight.

If I can find the booze and down a couple quick drinks, it’ll loosen me up. I can make face, and then get the hell out of here.

After spotting the keg near the door to the kitchen, I push harder through the crowd, needing my space and something cold to drink. It’s difficult to get through when everyone wants a piece of me.

“If it’s not Drake Chambers. Good game, man.” I don’t know the guy in the fraternity shirt, but he’s manning the keg, which makes him cool in my book.

“Thanks,” I say, taking a glass of the cold amber-colored liquid from his hand. I down it quickly, passing the cup back for more.

“You missed a couple big passes down the field when your receivers were wide open. How could you not see them, man?”

Fucking
great … this again.
Every week, no matter how good I play, I always hear about what I can do better. Whenever someone tries to give me football lessons, I think back to when I was younger, and that’s the last place I want to go right now. My dad pointed out every missed throw, every time my footwork wasn’t good enough, and when I took too many unnecessary sacks. My team could win by thirty points, and it still wasn’t good enough.

There’s already way too much pressure sitting on my shoulders without hearing Dad’s voice in my head. I don’t need to hear that I can be better. I don’t need to hear that I’m not perfect. I used to get so tired of that shit. Now I have everyone on my case. I guess that’s what happens when you’re in the public eye.

“That’s easy to say when you’re not the one on the field. Things look a little different when you have three hundred pound guys coming after you.”

“There’s no way those guys were more than two-fifty,” he scoffs. He hands me my refilled cup, and I quickly move away in an attempt to avoid any more shit from him. As the school’s football star, I’m also supposed to stay out of trouble, and listening to this guy much longer is going to get me in all kinds of it.

With a quick scan of the room, I spot some of my teammates huddled in the corner and make my way to them. They know better than to question my skills.

I don’t get far before a small, bony hand wraps around my bicep. “Drake.”

Without looking back, I know it’s Olivia. Last year, after a night of way too much drinking, I ended up in bed with her. I regretted it as soon as I woke up the next morning, and she’s been unable to take no for an answer ever since.

Glancing over my shoulder, I see her in one of the shortest skirts I’ve ever seen and a tiny top to match. Not that it surprises me. “What do you want, Olivia?”

She moves her manicured hand to my shoulder, bringing her lips close to my ear. “Do you want to go upstairs? I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“I’m hanging with the guys tonight,” I say, trying to free myself from her grasp.

Her long nails dig into my arm, holding me back. “Please, I miss you.” Her generous pink lips pucker while she twirls her finger through her shoulder-length blonde hair. She’s hot, I’ll give her that, but she’s not what I’m after. Not that I’m after anyone right now.

“We’re not happening. Ever.”

She licks her lower lip as she stares at mine. “We already did.”

“It was a mistake,” I say quietly, shaking my arm loose. The last thing I want to do is cause a scene.

“Over here, Chambers!” one of the guys shouts. I push past Olivia, and if I’m lucky, she’ll stay away from me the rest of the night.

“Drake!” I hear her yell after me. I don’t look back. I wish there was a way to erase the night we spent together because this isn’t worth it. It wasn’t worth it then.

When I finally reach the guys, I’m greeted by high fives and a full cup of beer. If I could stay locked in this corner of the room, the rest of the night wouldn’t be so bad.

“A week off, and then Michigan State is rolling in. Are you ready?” It’s Cooper, one of the defensive ends.

“I’m always ready, but with an extra week to prepare, they better watch it. Have you guys been studying film?” I ask, taking another sip of my cold beer.

“Nah, we’ll start on Monday. One game at a time,” Cooper answers, looking past me into the packed crowd. “What’s up with you and Olivia?”

I grimace, rubbing the back of my neck. “Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”

“She’s looking over here, and if I were you, I’d go after that. It might loosen you up before the big game.”

Looking behind me, I see her huddled with a couple of her friends, all six eyes on me. I don’t even want to think about what they’re talking about. “I’ll be loose enough. Don’t worry about me.”

When I spin back around, all my teammates are giving their full attention to the girls. “Fuck it,” I say, downing the last of my beer and pushing my way back to the keg. My original plan to leave after a couple drinks fails, and the rest of the night becomes a blur.