Changing Places (13 page)

‘
I know there are lots of you out there with much bigger problems than me, but can anyone tell me why I’m so miserable? I’m pregnant with my second child and I just
don’t want to get out of bed in the morning. While my husband seems pleased about the baby, he doesn’t show much interest in me or it and I feel very lonely. I hate to admit this but
I’m not sure I want this baby at all. Is this all down to hormones? Does anyone else feel this way? Am I a horrible person? Al’sMum

She’d chosen to call herself Al’sMum because she felt that’s all she was. She had decided against using Alex’s full name in case someone recognized her. Well, you never
knew. This was an Irish website and Ireland could be a bloody small place when you least needed it.

She quickly posted the question before she could change her mind, switched off the screen and went out to the kitchen to make some camomile tea. She’d actually kill for a really strong
coffee but knew that if she started drinking the stuff again she wouldn’t be able to stop. When the tea was made, she carried it back to the computer. Flicking the screen on she realized she
was holding her breath as she checked for a reply. Nothing.

As she sipped her tea, Rachel browsed through the other topics. Many queries related to maternity hospitals and the cost of going private, and there were lots of threads about the various
symptoms women were experiencing. Rachel read eagerly in the hope of finding someone else who was feeling the same way, but though many were going through rough pregnancies, they all sounded bright
and breezy and seemed to agree that it would all be worth it in the end.

Rachel finished her tea and signed off. She really had to stop thinking about it so much and just get on with life. Fine, she hadn’t wanted this pregnancy but there was nothing she could
do about that now. While lack of sleep was still a big problem, she was having a reasonably good pregnancy. On top of that, she had a wonderful son and although her marriage might not be ideal,
Gary wasn’t the worst. Her granny would have told her that she didn’t know she was born and that she should count her blessings.

What would her mother say? Rachel wished her parents had invested in a mobile phone so that she could at least keep in touch. Rachel didn’t begrudge her parents some fun in their golden
years but it would be nice if they came home occasionally.

Rachel didn’t know any other pensioners who’d sold their home and gone off to travel the world. Gary’s parents rarely left Dublin, never mind Ireland, and Josie, Liam’s
mother, never went further than Cork, although Anna would probably throw a party if her mother-in-law decided to travel the world. Rachel smiled as she thought about the stories her sister told of
Josie’s meddling ways. Kathleen, Gary’s mother, was a kind but distant mother-in-law who wouldn’t dream of interfering in her son’s life.

Rachel put on her jogging pants with a white polo shirt and pulled her hair back into a ponytail. ‘You’ll do,’ she told her reflection in the bathroom mirror. A bit of make-up
wouldn’t go amiss, but she didn’t have the energy. Anyway, there was no one to doll herself up for. Apart from the other mothers picking up their kids she wouldn’t see another
soul today. She’d probably be back in bed by the time Gary got home.

Going back downstairs, Rachel paused en route to the kitchen to check her screen for replies. Her heart flipped when she saw there were two new messages against her entry. She sank into the
chair as she pressed Enter on the first.

No, you’re not horrible!! Don’t even think that!! And yes, it is probably hormones, they do terrible things to you. What you need is a good night out with your man – does
the trick for me every time. I feel so ugly and fat when I’m pregnant (blooming my ar**!!) but a bit of loving from my fella makes me feel a lot better. Good luck! GalwayGal

Rachel smiled. It was a lovely reply and it did make her feel better, until she got to the ‘bit of loving’ part. There seemed little chance of that at the moment. Rachel clicked on
the second reply.

You’re very brave, Al’sMum, good on ya! Not many of us will admit that we’re not very happy about being pregnant but lots of us feel it from time to time – yes,
I’ve been there too. My third wasn’t planned and I had set my heart on getting this new kitchen – God, sounds pathetic, doesn’t it? Anyway, once we knew Baby was on the way,
that was the end of my kitchen. I was really fed up. Actually, if I’m honest, I was annoyed. Took it out on Him, of course. I’d begged him to have the snip but he wouldn’t, told
me it was too final and that I might change my mind. Well, my baby son is now eight months old and yes, he’s better than a kitchen any day! Keep your heart up, Al’sMum, it will get
better. Good luck, MaryK

By the time she finished reading the message, tears were flowing down Rachel’s cheeks. Quickly she typed in a response.

Thanks, GalwayGal, thanks, MaryK, I feel better already!

She paused for a moment and then, wiping at her tears with the back of her hand, continued typing.

No chance of any loving, tho. He doesn’t fancy me pregnant. He says he doesn’t want to hurt the baby but I can tell that he’s lying. I think there might be someone else.
Anyway, thanks for replying, I feel much better. Al’s Mum

This time Rachel posted the message without reading it, signed out of the website and closed down the machine. God, what had she done that for? Going into the downstairs loo, she splashed water
on her face, grabbed her bag and keys and went out for a walk. Normally she’d wander around the shops in the village and then go down along the seafront, but today she didn’t want to
meet anyone, didn’t want to listen to excited congratulations, didn’t want people asking her if she wanted a boy or a girl, didn’t want to have to pretend to be happy.

Rachel turned instead towards the path along the estuary. On a grey and windy weekday morning she was less likely to meet one of the busy mums down here. They’d all be in the gym, at
aqua-aerobics or in the many coffee-shops, discussing the price of schoolbooks, the latest fake tan and what wife was doing what with which husband. A faint drizzle started to fall and Rachel held
her face up to the grey sky, welcoming the miserable weather that matched her mood.

Anna was sitting in her car staring out at the rain falling on the estuary when she saw her sister walking along the path, her shirt sticking to her body and her hair in
rat’s tails around her face. Anna’s initial response was to drive off – she was in no mood for dealing with Rachel’s moods today. But her poor pregnant sister was a good ten
minutes’ walk from home with no coat on, and the rain looked like it was down for the day. Pressing hard on the horn, Anna got out of the car and waved at her sister.

‘Rachel! Over here!’

Rachel raised her head and just looked at her.

‘For God’s sake, hurry up and get in.’

Rachel approached the car. ‘I’m fine, it’s only a bit of rain.’

‘Rubbish. You’re soaked through – now come on.’

Without another word, Rachel went around to the passenger door and climbed in.

‘Are you okay?’ Anna glanced at her as she turned the car.

‘Yeah.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yes! I said, didn’t I?’

‘I was just asking, there’s no need to bite my head off. What the hell are you doing out in this weather?’

‘What the hell are
you
doing sitting staring at the water in the middle of the day?’ Rachel shot back.

‘Liam’s been made redundant,’ Anna replied, too miserable to lie.

Rachel immediately reached out a hand to her sister. ‘Oh God, Anna, I’m sorry.’

‘Yeah, me too.’

‘But I thought Liam had it made at Patterson’s? Wasn’t there talk that one day he’d be the boss?’

Anna’s smile was bitter. ‘Oh, there was lots of talk. Unfortunately, that’s all it was. Patterson’s is going through a rough patch so Ted’s decided to get rid of
the senior management and run things himself.’

‘That’s terrible. Poor Liam. How’s he taking it?’

‘Not great.’

‘Still, I’m sure he will walk into another job.’

‘Yeah, he should be fine.’ Anna tried to smile. ‘He’s doing a tour of the employment agencies today.’

‘He’ll probably have found himself a new job by the time you get home.’

‘Probably.’ Anna turned into the pretty cul de sac of neat, modern semi-detached houses where Rachel and Gary lived. ‘How’s Alex?’

‘Fine.’

‘I probably won’t be able to have him over this weekend—’

‘Of course not,’ Rachel interrupted. ‘Don’t worry about it.’

Anna nodded and smiled. ‘Thanks, Rache.’

‘Yeah, right. Look, if there’s anything I can do . . .’

‘I’ll call you,’ Anna promised and drove off.

When she got into the office, Val looked up at her, a frown on her face. ‘Shouldn’t you be out with Charlie Coleman?’

‘Shit!’ Anna exploded and turned on her heel. ‘Would you phone him, Val, and tell him I’m on my way?’ She ran back to her car and drove the short distance along the
coast road to Portmarnock.

‘I’m so sorry,’ she said breathlessly, hurrying over to his car.

‘No problem,’ Charlie said with a grin. ‘At least I wasn’t on the bike!’

Anna smoothed back her wet hair and looked at the sky. ‘It looks as if it’s clearing up. Anyway, come on, let me show you the house.’

‘So was there a major crisis at the office?’ he asked as she struggled with the key.

‘Sorry?’

‘Did Mark forget to order enough paperclips or something serious like that?’

‘Oh no, nothing like that.’

They stepped into the hallway and Charlie touched her cheek. ‘You look a bit peaky. Are you sick?’

‘No, just a bit of a problem at home.’

‘Want to talk about it?’

Anna shook her head, embarrassed. ‘Oh no, really, there’s nothing to talk about. Now let’s have a look around. I feel terrible for keeping you waiting.’

Charlie allowed her to guide him around the house and he listened carefully while she told him about the different features in each room.

‘You don’t like it, do you?’ she said with a small sigh.

‘Not particularly,’ he admitted. ‘The location is great.’ He waved a hand towards the large bay window that looked out on the seafront. ‘And there’s plenty of
land. But as for the house . . .’ He paused and looked around him. ‘It’s just a bit . . .’

‘Dead?’ Anna suggested.

‘That’s it exactly. The place has no soul, no character.’

‘Maybe it needs someone to give it character?’

Charlie nodded. ‘Yes, a big family, some kids, a few dogs, but a guy like me with a part-time daughter isn’t going to do it.’

Anna heard the sadness in his voice. ‘Would you like a big family some day?’

He looked at her in surprise. ‘I think it’s a bit late for that.’

‘Why? You’re not that old. Anyway, all you need is a younger woman.’

‘Is that an offer?’ he murmured, moving closer.

‘I’m afraid I’m spoken for,’ she joked, thinking how nice his aftershave was.

‘Ah yes, to Mr Liam Harrison. I hope he knows how lucky he is.’

‘Not at the moment,’ Anna found herself saying.

‘Oh?’

‘He was made redundant last week.’

‘Ah. That was the family crisis, I take it?’

‘Yes – well, no – well, I suppose I’m just a bit distracted at the moment and I completely forgot our appointment.’

‘I’ll try not to take that personally.’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘Just joking, Anna.’ He led her to the love-seat by the window. ‘So what happened?’

Anna sat at his side, staring out at the view. If she turned to face him she’d be way too close for comfort. ‘Apparently the business is in trouble and the boss decided to get rid of
the senior management and run things himself.’

‘That’s rough. So how’s your Liam taking it?’

‘Up and down. At first I think he was in shock and then he started to worry. Now, thankfully, he’s feeling a bit more optimistic.’

‘So the redundancy was out of the blue?’

Anna’s eyes narrowed. ‘Totally. He was expecting promotion, had been told that it was in the bag. Everyone thought he’d take over the business when Patterson
retired!’

‘Ted Patterson?’

Anna turned her head to look at him. ‘You know him?’

Charlie shrugged. ‘Not personally, but I’ve heard all about him and his electronics company. He’s a fairly tough customer, I believe.’ He took her hand in his.
‘Look, try not to worry. Liam will probably end up better off in the end.’

Anna smiled. ‘I think so, too. He’s very clever and gets on so well with people and he’s such a hard grafter.’

Charlie’s eyes were thoughtful as they met hers. ‘He has something else going for him, too.’

‘What’s that?’

‘A wonderful wife.’

Anna blushed and stood up. ‘You’ve no idea – I’m terribly hard to live with.’

‘I think I’d take a chance.’

Anna felt her cheeks grow hot. ‘My God, look at the time. We’d better get a move on. I told the owners we’d be out by three.’

Charlie got slowly to his feet and walked over to her. ‘Don’t worry about them, are you okay?’

She nodded. ‘Sorry for offloading all of this stuff on you – it’s not very professional of me.’

‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ he said, looking annoyed. ‘I would hope at this stage you’d see me as a friend as well as a client.’

‘Of course. Thank you, Charlie. You’ve made me feel a lot better.’

Immediately, his smile returned. ‘Good. Now let’s get out of this mausoleum.’

Liam heard the post thud on to the mat and abandoned his cornflakes to go and check it. There were three envelopes: one of them a gas bill, one a credit-card bill and the other
an invitation to a conference in Cork. He was staring at the credit-card bill, his cornflakes forgotten, when Anna walked in pulling her jacket on. ‘Anything interesting?’ she asked as
she spooned coffee into a mug and poured water from the kettle.

‘This has to stop,’ Liam replied.

‘What has?’ Anna asked. ‘Ugh, this water’s cold! Liam, I asked you to put on the kettle.’

‘You have got to stop spending, Anna. There’s a balance of nearly two grand on this card and I hate to think what you owe on your Visa.’