Channel 20 Something (22 page)

“What? Did I take too long?”

“No.” He laughed, stroking my hair with one hand. “Hardly. It’s that—I’ve been picturing this moment with you since the night we met. This moment and all the ones leading up to it, starting from about, oh, forty minutes ago.”

Aric played gently with my fingers on his chest, while the other hand sifted through my hair. “Thank God you finally came around. I didn’t know how much longer I could hold out.”

I lay my head down again, listening to his heart and the rhythm of his breathing as it deepened and stretched out in the quiet room. I’d actually started to doze when I heard his whisper.

“I love you, Heidi.”

I froze. Oh my God. Oh sugar. I forced my muscles to relax again. “You don’t have to say that, you know. You already got lucky,” I whispered back, trying to turn it into a joke.

Aric lifted up onto one elbow and looked down into my eyes. “I know,” he said, still completely serious. He glided a fingertip lightly down my cheek and jaw to my chin. “I’m sorry if you’re not ready to hear it yet, but it would still be true whether I said it or not. And I wanted to say it.”

“Okay,” I whispered, torn between a rush of joy and a scream of panic and the weight of guilt over failing to make a return declaration.

The words were there in my mind.
I love you, too.
The feeling was there in my heart—I thought. But it was hard to trust my heart. I’d been so quick to say it to Josh. And of course he’d said it to me right away. And the phrase hadn’t protected me. It hadn’t kept us together or made that relationship real. I’d promised myself I wouldn’t say it again until I was absolutely, positively sure it was true and that it was forever.

Aric’s eyes softened as he watched the inner struggle play out on my face. “It’s okay.” He dipped his head and kissed the tip of my nose. “I don’t want you to say it until you’re ready. Let’s get some sleep.”

He turned off the lamp and lay down again, pulling me close until my face rested over his heart. In a few minutes his breathing deepened and evened out. I slid my hand across the warm skin of his abdomen and wrapped my arm around him, embracing him with my body the way I’d been too afraid to do with my words.

The week passed in a happy blur of work and sex and sending out resumes and reels in a genuine attempt at finding a new job, albeit in medium-sized markets not very far away. In spite of all my stated intentions to charge onward and upward, I still wondered if I could really do it.

What if I moved to a big city a plane ride away and viewers didn’t like me, what if I couldn’t fit in and make friends, what if I didn’t actually have what it took? I
wanted
to be ready, but was I? It seemed better to bite off something I could definitely chew, even if it didn’t taste all that good, than to sink my teeth into something truly yummy and then choke.

I worked dayside Friday, shooting and reporting a story for the noon show, then grabbing a quick sound bite for another story before heading back to the station. I got back to the newsroom with just enough time to check messages on my desk phone before the afternoon news meeting.

The first was from a viewer who sounded no younger than eighty, wanting to know where I got my hair done so she could get my exact cut and color. Another was from a contact of mine at the Neshoba County courthouse about an upcoming court case that might make an interesting story. The next message caused me to sit down in my chair and play it back twice before my brain could actually register what I’d heard.

“Hello, Heidi. This is Ken Zorich from WKRN. I was impressed with your work, and I’d really like to talk to you about coming in to audition for our noon anchor opening. If you’d give me a call back, I’d appreciate it. My number is…”

WKRN? Was that one of the stations I’d sent my reel and resume to this week? Could they have looked at it so fast?

Before I could even check my job hunt spreadsheet for the station call letters or do an internet search for WKRN, Janet poked her head out of her office. “Okay gang—it’s two-twenty-five. Time for the two-o’clock meeting.”

During the meeting, the reporters and producers discussed the day’s news coverage options. There were always many more events going on than we could possibly cover, and this was where we talked it out and people could champion a story they felt particularly strongly about. Janet guided the discussion and ultimately made the call on what did and didn’t get our limited resources.

“Heidi, you and Aric will be shooting for each other today—I know that’s working pretty well for you on the weekends—and you’ve both got stories in Oxford. You’ll cover the Mississippi Writers Symposium. John Grisham’s speaking at five. And there’s a kickoff event for the basketball season Aric needs to pick up—a free-throw competition for students where they try to sink three-pointers to upgrade their seats for the season. Should be fun. Since you’ll both be right there on campus, we’re going to make both of them live shots. Tony’s already on his way there with the live truck to set up for the six.”

There was a little further discussion of logistics, but the meeting was mercifully shorter than usual, which thrilled me. I wanted to check out Ken Zorich and his station.

“Heidi—could you stay a minute?” Janet motioned for me to move to the chair closest to her desk as the others filed out of her office. “Ce Ce—would you shut the door? Thanks.”

Oh, a closed-door conversation with Janet. That was different.

“Heidi, I want to share some news with you, and then I have a question for you,” she said.

Now my nerves were starting to vibrate. What could Janet want to share with me that she didn’t want the others to know about? “Okay…”

“I’m going to be stepping down from my position next month. I saw my doctor last week for a follow up, and they’ve found a recurrence of the breast cancer.”

My heart dropped into my lap. “Oh no. Are you okay?”

She gave me a tight smile. “I feel fine right now. And I’m going to fight it as hard as I can, just like last time, and I’m sure I’ll beat it. But I’m twelve years older this go-round. And my kids will both be graduating high school in the next couple of years, so I’m re-evaluating my priorities. I’d like to spend as much time with them as possible right now. Dan thinks it’s a good idea, too. I’ve been doing news for twenty-six years, so I think that’s a pretty nice career, a pretty good place to stop.”

“Oh Janet.” I scooted forward in my chair to reach across her desktop for her hand. She took mine and squeezed it hard. “What did you want to ask me? I’ll do anything I can to help.”

“Well, actually, I’d like to help
you
. Your contract is up in less than a month, and I’m not sure if you’ve been looking elsewhere, but obviously we’d like to keep you.” She paused. “I want you to take over anchoring the weeknights with Dan after I step down.”

“Oh. Wow.”
Not
what I’d been expecting.

“Small-town life isn’t for everyone, but you have local ties, you know the community, and the viewers love you on the weekends. The overnight ratings have been great for the past few months. If you
would
like to stay, weeknights would give you a much higher salary and some good security. I don’t know who Mr. Aubrey will hire to replace me as news director, but while I’m still here, I could draw up a guaranteed contract that would give you as long as five years before they could even think of replacing you. And I’m sure they wouldn’t want to after that. Chances are you could stay as long as you like—make a career out of it if you wanted to. As I said, I’ve anchored here for twenty-five years, and you know Terry at WTVA has been on for thirty-five years. This market likes familiar faces. It could be a very nice life for you, if you wanted it.”

“Wow,” I repeated. “This is kind of a shock—it’s so sudden. Thank you. Really, thank you so much. Can I… could I think about it and get back to you?”

“Sure. Of course. Give it some thought. And listen, I’m not telling anybody else yet about my diagnosis, so keep it close until I can make some sort of announcement, okay?”

“Of course. Thank you. Again. And… well, I’m so sorry about the cancer coming back. I know you’re gonna be fine.”

We hugged each other. “You’re right, I will.” Janet patted
my
back in a comforting way. “Okay, time to get yourself to Oxford. Go make some news.”

Aric was walking by as I left her office. “Hey—I’m putting the gear into the car. Want to meet me out there in five?” he asked.

“Sure.” I was still in a daze. “Be right there.”

Janet had certainly given me something to consider. Because of my insecure foot-dragging I had only three weeks left on my contract and no other job offers—well, maybe the WKRN thing would turn out to be something, wherever it was. The main anchor job here would certainly solve my financial issues. I could afford a place with more than two rooms, cover my own bills and car payment, and basically be a giant oarfish in a goldfish tank. There’s a country song that says “everyone dies famous in a small town.” A few years as main anchor around here, and I would be the most famous
of
the famous, like Dan-n-Janet.

But a five year contract? It seemed so long. It
would
be safe. I would be comfortable. I would be
very
close to my family. And to Hale.

And I’d get to watch Aric finish his contract here then take off for a new place, new people. A new girl.

I opened the station’s back door to see he’d pulled the car around and had it ready and waiting for me. I missed a step and nearly tumbled down the whole set of concrete stairs, barely grabbing onto the iron handrail in time. Man, I did not quite have all my Lego pieces together here—the news of Janet’s cancer returning had me shell-shocked. My emotions felt as fragile as a minute-old soap bubble. I managed to make it down the stairs in one piece and climbed into the car, thinking of Janet’s teenaged daughters, of poor Dan. Of how everyone would react when she announced it to the station staff.

“How was your morning?” Aric asked, blissfully unaware of the impending bombshell from our boss. He’d tuned the satellite radio to a techno station. The feathery female vocalist contrasted oddly with the song’s driving beat. Irritating.

“Good. Busy.” I pulled out my phone to do a search for WKRN, trying to distract myself from the raw emotions churning in my gut.

Aric put the car into drive. “Me, too. I’m so psyched we both have tonight off. We could stay up in Oxford after our live shots and go out to eat on the Square, maybe go to a club or something afterwards. Want to?”

“Sounds good,” I replied absentmindedly as my search yielded results. “Nashville. It’s in Nashville. You’re not gonna believe this.” I turned to Aric. “I had a message on my desk phone from the news director at WKRN in Nashville. I didn’t even send them my reel.”

He beamed at me, then checked traffic before pulling the car out onto the road from the station’s lot. “Awesome. I knew they’d love you. See? And you thought you weren’t ready,” he chided.

“What?” His meaning took a minute to register, then my confusion turned to disbelief. “
You
sent them my reel.”

He threw a guilty grin my way as he drove. “Well, you weren’t going to do it. And you’re running out of time to follow that big-market dream, Diane Sawyer.” He glanced at me again, and his smile dropped. “What’s the matter?”

It might have been the after-shock of Janet’s offer and the weight of her heavy secret, or maybe it was the fact that Aric had just unexpectedly stepped into the Dad/Hale role of deciding my future for me, but I was instantly furious.

“I can’t believe you did that. I told you I would contact them when and
if
I felt ready. He’s probably not even interested. He’s probably only calling as a favor to your friend… Han Solo, or whatever his name is.”

“Sky Walker. Are you mad?” He gave an incredulous laugh. “You got a call from a news director in a top-thirty market. Most people would kill for that.
I’d
kill for that.”

“Well then maybe
you
should go work there. I never said I wanted the job in the first place. I can’t believe you went behind my back and sent my reel. I never should have showed it to you.”

“I was
trying
to help you. We worked on our reels together for a reason, Heidi. Better jobs—that’s what we’ve been doing this whole time. What did you think was going to come of it?”

His bemused tone and casual dismissal of my feelings on the matter had set my temper on fire, and there wasn’t a ladder truck in sight. “What did I think? What I thought was we were building some kind of relationship here, some kind of trust. I can’t believe you would go and do something so… so huge without even telling me.”

“Because you would’ve said no.”

“You bet I would’ve said no. And you know what? I’m not even going to call that guy back. Maybe I
will
sign a new contract here.” I folded my arms across my chest and stared out the window. I needed to cool down. I’d reached the point where I’d started saying things I didn’t even mean.

Thank goodness someone chose that moment to call me. The phone was already in my hand, and hearing the ringtone, I looked down at the screen. It was Hale. That was odd. He never called me during work, but you can bet I was going to answer
this
call. Ha. Make Mr. Know-it-All Aric sweat it out a little.

I put an extra dose of enthusiasm into my voice as I hit the button to answer. “Hi. How are you, Hale?”

Aric tensed beside me as he continued to drive.

“Hey there.” Hale’s familiar voice was as comforting as my sheepskin-lined slippers. “Listen, I know it’s short notice, but I was wondering if I could take you out to dinner tonight? We didn’t really get to finish talking at your parents’ house, and that probably wasn’t the best place anyway to say everything that needs to be said.”

I darted a glance in Aric’s direction. “You’re right, and dinner tonight sounds
lovely
.”

Aric’s hands clenched the steering wheel in a most satisfying way, causing the muscles in his forearms to stand out in sharp relief. God, I loved those arms. Kind of made me regret I’d be spending tonight pissing him off instead of wrapped up in them. But I continued. He couldn’t tell
me
what to do with my life, or my dinner plans.