Chaos (Phoenix Undercover #2) (3 page)

Chapter 5

Josh

“Look at this right here.” I pointed to the computer screen. “This man enters the building a few minutes after Leo, every fucking time. He’s always wearing a coat or a hoodie, even when it’s hot as fuck and everyone else is dressing to keep cool. He always keeps his hands in his pockets and moves as fast as possible through the crowds.”

Greyson leaned over my shoulder, and the chomping in my ear was fucking annoying. “Could you fucking chew with your mouth shut?” I groaned, and he purposely smacked his lips in an attempt to be even louder. I looked back at him over my shoulder, and he chuckled as I swung my arm out in his direction. He dodged out of the way just in time, and Mike’s laughter broke out from my right.

“Can you be fucking serious for a minute?” I grumbled as I turned back to the screen. “He never shows his face. It’s like he knows where all the surveillance cameras are located.” I narrowed my eyes and tried for what felt like the hundredth time to focus on his jawline. It was the only thing visible beneath the hood of a sweatshirt.

“He just looks like some hood rat. There is nothing that screams, ‘Mafia godfather.’” Greyson appeared at my side once more. This time he was actually focused and trying to see what I had enlarged on the screen.

“That’s what I thought too, which is why I always scrolled right past his image. That was until last night. When I saw this,” I said as I tapped the computer screen.

The screech of Mike’s chair filled the room as he attempted to move closer. “Is that…?” He leaned in a little farther. “Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

“No,” I replied without looking away from the screen.

I had looked at the images over and over, hoping I didn’t see what I thought I had. I spent hours analyzing footage of all Leo’s hideouts, hoping to pinpoint who Roman truly was. We set up surveillance cameras months ago, but since most of the locations were busy places open to the public, it took time and a whole lot of attention to watch the footage. Nothing ever appeared suspicious. Yeah, we had no fucking clue what the man looked like, but we did know from the information we were fed by the DEA and from some of our own guys who were still undercover that Roman and Leo had met before in the locations we were watching.

“So you’re telling me one of our own may be responsible for this fucking mess?” Mike said with disbelief.

“I’m saying that from what I’m seeing, we got someone within our bureau that has some fucking secrets.” I leaned in a little closer and enlarged the image. The sweatshirt the man was wearing had ridden up, and the entire lower half of his badge was now like a fucking beacon going off before us.

We all stood staring at the image, knowing we now couldn’t trust the men we had spent years forming bonds with, trusting with our lives. The men we considered brothers.

Only a few knew our location, and they knew we were unable to get in the way. If we were hiding out here, our rat knew we were out of the way, at least for now. I felt sick to my stomach knowing it could be anyone within our tight group.

“We keep this under the radar for now,” I added, my voice coming out hoarse. “We trust no one, we keep digging, and we find the man behind this fucked-up operation.”

Mike and Greyson nodded in agreement.

The ringing of a phone broke the intensity of the current situation, and Greyson quickly scrambled toward his phone on the coffee table.

“Remember, act normal,” I said as he lifted it and turned it over to look at the screen.

When his eyes met mine, my stomach dropped. I immediately knew that whoever was on the other end was somehow tied to me. On more than one occasion, I had to hear my sister cry on the other end of the line as she told Grey how much they all missed me.

“Hey,” he said, and his voice cracked with the word. He cleared his throat and tried again. “How you doing?”

I assumed it was another call from Libby. I scrubbed at my face with my hand, feeling the beard that had now pretty much taken over. Closing my eyes, I focused on his words, hoping that somehow he would be able to give her the strength to get through the day.

“Yeah, I got her number.” I opened my eyes, wrinkling my face in confusion. Who the hell could Libby want to call? And then it hit me. She must be talking about Gabby.

When he began rambling off the digits, I only grew more confused. He was giving the caller Libby’s phone number. I stood from the chair and moved in his direction, but he held up his hand, making me stop. My fucking heart was beating a mile a minute.

His eyes locked on mine, giving me a pleading look as he said his next words, and they were like a kick to the gut. “I know Libby would love to hear from you, Gabby. She talks about you every time she calls. She’s wanted to reach out but was worried about upsetting you.”

Gabby.
Just a few feet away from me, the woman I was so fucking in love with it hurt was on the phone with my best friend. The idea that I could take the phone and hear her voice on the other end ripped me up inside. It was absolute torture.

“Are you sure you’re all right? I know I haven’t talked to you since the funeral, but you do know that if you need anything, all you have to do is call.” I met Greyson’s stare once more, and I could tell this wasn’t easy for him. He looked at me as if he was feeling the same ache I was.

I focused on his eyes, trying to determine his emotions. I wanted a sense of what he was feeling as Gabby continued to talk to him. I watched as he closed his eyes so fucking tight, his entire face shrunk up in a pinched expression.

I took another step toward him, and he must have heard the shuffle of my feet because his eyes shot open and turned to me once more. It took everything inside me not to yank the phone from his hands and find out for myself what Gabby was saying. Greyson shook his head, as if he knew exactly what I was thinking.

“That’s, um,” he said before pausing to take in a deep breath. When he spoke again, I saw joy in his eyes and a smile cover his mouth that was so big it made my heart race. But when his eyes connected with mine, I noticed a sudden change in his expression. It was a look of sorrow, and rarely did I ever see such emotion from Greyson. “Gabby, that’s amazing.” His voice shook, and I felt like I was going crazy from not knowing what she was saying. “How far?”

Was she moving? What the hell did he mean “how far”? Just the idea of her leaving made me panic.

“March,” he whispered. “Carl, Josh’s dad, his birthday is March 11, so who knows, right?”

What the fuck? This conversation was so back and forth, I couldn’t keep up. What the hell did my father’s birthday have to do with Gabby moving?

“I’d love a copy.” His voice held that raspy tone that tends to appear when someone is doing all they can to hold back tears. “Thanks for telling me. It means a lot that you thought I should know too. After all, I’m gonna be an uncle.”

Chills covered my entire body, and I swear my legs wobbled with the blow of his words. The room felt as if it had tilted, and my vision grew hazed. Grey kept talking, but I could only focus on the words I had just heard. My breathing picked up as I rushed for him just as he said good-bye and ended the call.

Mike grabbed me from behind, but it didn’t stop me from gripping Greyson’s shirt and slamming his body against the wall behind us. “Call her back.” My nostrils flared as I got up in his face.

“I can’t, man, you know this.”

“Pick up your fucking phone and call her.”

“Her number’s blocked. It didn’t register. And you know that talking to her could compromise everything,” Grey said slowly, trying to make his words register through my anger.

“Grey.” I knew his name came out as a plea, but I didn’t fucking care how weak I appeared. Too many emotions were hitting me in the biggest fucking rush I had ever felt in my life. “Is she pregnant?” I already knew the answer, but I wanted him to confirm it, and when he did my knees gave out and I crumbled to the floor at his feet. I let my head fall to my hands, and for the first time for as long as I could remember, I sobbed. I was happy and angry all at once.

I don’t know how long I sat there on the floor bawling into my hands, but when Greyson’s hand rested on my shoulder, I lifted my head. He too appeared as if he had shed a few tears.

“She’s due March 22,” he said, and I took in a shuddering breath. “She wants to call your sister. She said your family deserves to know she’s carrying a part of them.”

I closed my eyes tight once more and took in another deep breath.

“You’re gonna be a father, man, which is why we have to catch this bastard who is fucking with our lives. We gotta get you home to your girl,” Grey stated with certainty, “and to your child.”

My child.

Chapter 6

Gabriella

To say I was nervous was an understatement.

I sat in the driveway of what I now knew was Libby and her husband William’s home. Two days ago when I finally called her, she insisted I come over for dinner. She had also invited Josh’s father Carl, and the idea that they were all waiting inside with no knowledge of the bomb I was about to drop on them made me feel a little nauseous. On the drive to the suburb of Scarsdale, New York, I had practiced several ways of telling them, and each one only made me more nervous.

I jumped in surprise at the light tapping sound on the window beside me. There just on the other side was Libby, and her smile made me feel as if someone had gripped my stomach in their fist. Her smile matched Josh’s, and it made me miss him even more than I already did. I hadn’t thought that was even possible until that very moment.

I reached for the door handle and opened it, and she placed her hand on the top and pulled it farther open. The moment I stepped out, she wrapped her arms around me and held me close. “I’m so happy you came,” she said in a hoarse whisper, and tears welled up in my eyes. I batted them away as I returned her hug.

“We are all so happy you called,” she added as she took my hand and led me toward her beautiful house. I scanned the surrounding area, noticing the swing sets in the yards and the homes surrounded by colorful flowers. I sat there in the driveway, thinking how amazing it must be to live in such a neighborhood, to raise a family outside the city.

The second we entered the house, Jonah’s loud squeals of laughter filled my ears, and I closed my eyes for just a moment as I smiled. The sweet sound of his happiness was contagious.

A very tall man with blond hair and a thick build walked through the entryway, carrying Jonah upside down over his shoulder. He offered a loving smile to Libby before focusing on me. “You must be Gabby,” he said as he held his hand out in greeting. “I’m Will.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” I told him as I placed my hand in his.

Jonah began wiggling in his dad’s arms, attempting to break free. When Will lowered him to the floor and tickled his side, Jonah offered his best “don’t mess with me” growl before looking over at me.

His reaction immediately gave me a flashback to the first time we met. He stared at me blankly, and his smile grew even wider. “Did you bring Uncle Josh?”

His question knocked the wind from my lungs, and I looked up at Libby with a pleading stare. I had no idea what to say.

“Now, buddy, we’ve explained to you about Uncle Josh.” Carl knelt before his grandson and took his hands. “He’s in Heaven now, watching over all of us, with Grams and Uncle Brett by his side.”

The reality of just how much this family had lost made my chest constrict. Just how much loss can one family endure before they break?

Jonah looked back at his grandpa with sadness before turning away and moving off toward the living room Carl had just emerged from.

“Sorry about that,” Libby offered with a forced smile. “He still has a hard time with the fact his uncle’s not returning.”

I just nodded as if to tell her I understood too well. My throat felt so raw, I was afraid to talk.

Carl stepped forward and took me in his arms, much like he had the first time we met. I accepted his embrace because frankly, ever since the day we lost Josh, I haven’t felt whole or safe. Carl was tall like Josh and had a similar build. He wasn’t quite as broad and full as his son, but when he hugged me, I still felt tiny in his arms.

“He loved you,” he whispered into my hair, and I held my breath, hoping to hold back the tears filling my eyes. “Just because we lost him doesn’t mean we don’t still accept you as part of our family now.”

That was all it took. The staying-strong pep talk I had given myself was shot like a bottle rocket right out the damn window the moment the words left his father’s lips.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered, and sobs racked me. “I wish more than anything that he was here by my side. I truly hate that the news I have to tell all of you isn’t something he was here to tell you himself.”

Carl released his hold on me and held me out at arm’s length. “News?”

I looked around, taking in the questioning expressions written on their faces. “I’m pregnant.”

I was immediately engulfed in Carl’s arms once more as Libby stepped forward to join us. “We still have a part of him here, with us,” she whispered, her voice shaky with tears, and I nodded into the crease of Carl’s neck.

I hadn’t planned on telling them like this, standing in the doorway, but having Josh’s father hold me as he told me his son loved me made it impossible for me to hold back. And the joy in their eyes as I showed them the sonogram picture just confirmed their happiness. It felt like I was giving them all back just a small piece of the man we had all lost. The smallest amount of light reappeared in his father’s sullen eyes and joy in his sister’s voice then as they told me about Josh when he was young and wondered if his child would be anything like him. I think it all gave us back a part of ourselves. I wasn’t the only one who felt empty from his absence.

I vowed then that his family would never miss out on anything when it came to the life of Josh’s child. They would forever be a huge part of my child’s life, and I wanted them to shower him or her with every bit of information they could offer about Josh.

***

I lay in bed, lightly rubbing circles over my flat stomach. Closing my eyes, I tried to imagine my hand was his, as if he was right next to me. I tried to picture joy in his eyes as he looked down toward my belly.

It was barely 9:00 p.m., but I was drained from my night with Josh’s family. Brook was at her night class when I arrived home, so I took a shower and crawled into bed. I had a number of calls to return and unread emails to respond to, but I felt I deserved tonight off to allow myself to just dream.