Chaos Theory (12 page)

The black dot retreated and popped out of his eye, the tip
glistening with residue, and the metal arm swung away.

Igor’s chest heaved and his stomach muscles cramped, the
ridges of his abs sharply defined as they tightened. His eyeballs
wheeled as he tried to see if anything else was coming.

Six needles replaced the first and whirled forward with
frightening intent. One headed for his throat, another to his
torso. The other needles were out of his line of sight.

He was wrenched to the side, his cheek pressed into the cold
metal headrest of the chair.

Dozens of points of pressure burned over his body, the most
frightening at the base of his skull.

Rows upon rows upon rows of people had needles being stuck
into the back of their heads, and into their bodies. Igor shook.
Blood ran in a thick rivulet down his back and dripped onto the
floor. The needle breeched the base of his own skull the same time
another did the girl strapped down in front of him.

Pain scratched his mind. They tried to get in. He fought the
invasion of his mind with everything he had. He was strong. A
warrior. The bombardment of his senses amplified until his ears and
nose bled. Igor ground his teeth together until he couldn’t stand
it any longer. His body convulsed from the pain. Eyes rolling into
the back of his head he roared.

Millions of voices rushed in and told him things that couldn’t
possibly be true.

Then silence.

12.

Laughing, Kali bit Blue’s finger instead of the candied apple
he dangled overhead. The apple’s texture was firm and crunchy, the
taste crisp, and tart. She was draped over his lap, and while her
butt was on the floor, her legs and arms were all over
him.

He chuckled. “Do you bite people often?”

“
Only when they withhold my food.”

She grabbed the apple and nibbled on the segment he’d cut from
the whole. Kali offered him the other half, and he parted his lips.
Sliding it onto his tongue, smiling when he flashed his sharp teeth
in a wicked grin, she studied him.

They created cosmic chemistry. Being with him was easy, but
the sexual tension had her on edge.

“
Do you hand feed girls often? Charm them with your odd ways
and ingenious trysting locations?” She motioned to the half eaten
supper scattered around them on the blanket. They were in a metal
scrap yard, an old, abandoned one judging by the thick layer of
grass and weeds that covered everything. Blue had led her to a
clearing in the middle and showed her a wonderful view of the
starry sky. Skyscrapers were darker shadows with twinkling lights
in the distance. Large rusted vehicles were overturned onto their
sides, and other bits of unidentifiable junk sunken into the ground
with small bushes and plants growing through open doors and
glassless windows.

It was all grassy green, grunge brown and discoloured gray. A
cooling breeze brought the heavy smell of earth, remixed with a
metallic tang. The fusion was mysteriously endearing. Nature had
tried to reclaim the heap since it was not allowed to flourish
anywhere else.

Kali wasn’t worried about radioactive waste. She’d seen a sign
that declared the ten square mile radius as a SafeZone.

Blue had even pointed out the beginning of the OutRim, and
that had given her a thrill.

“
You did a great job here,” she pushed when he only blinked at
her. “I’m quite wooed.”

“
I searched the IntraWave on courtship. I have a list in my
head.”

She reached for another segment of apple, but Blue beat her to
it. They had a bit of a wrestle until she gave in and ate from his
fingertips. The hard sugar coating stuck on her lip, and she licked
it clean.

“
I’m curious.” Kali fed him another piece of dessert. “What
else is on this list?” He was quiet for such a long time she
wondered if she had embarrassed him. She touched his jaw, smiled
when his prism-like gaze wandered to her. “You spaced
out.”

Blue’s fingers slid across hers. “I like you,” he said
quietly. His brows plunged together as a dark look came into his
eyes. “I researched all day. The ritual of HiCaste and what is
expected.”

“
You look concerned.”

He gave her a considering look. “You aren’t.”

“
Should I be?”

“
Someone like you wouldn’t be.”

“
What do you mean someone like me?”

Blue tipped his chin. “HiCaste.”

“
So I’m HiCaste. Why would us having a relationship not worry
me?” Kali was getting flustered. “Wait. Why am I worried in the
first place?”

“
Are you genuinely unaware of what people would say? Especially
if they saw us like this.” Blue brought her hand up in his. He was
spellbound by their difference in skin tone. “You wouldn’t be
accused of punching above your weight. You must have noticed the
looks we got last night.”

“
We’ve had a miscommunication. I don’t judge by birthright or
by how much credit someone has in the bank.” Kali slipped her hand
from his and placed it on her lap. By reminding her of what was
expected of her as a HiCaste female, he’d made her feel awkward. “I
don’t expect to be judged by those things either.”

“
And genetics?”

“
My parents won’t expect a match by genetics alone,” she said
confidently. “I’m free to be with whoever I want. I have no
marriage contract or betrothal agreement. If I did, I wouldn’t be
here. I’m not that kind of girl.”

Blue exhaled slowly. “You are a Loklear.”

“
Yes.” She hesitated. Kali was beginning to fear he would stop
seeing her if they went too deeply into this, but honesty was
necessary, and maybe if he had a better understanding of her
origins he wouldn’t worry. “I’m adopted.”

He blinked. “What?”

Blue didn’t socialize in the HiEco circles she did. He
wouldn’t understand what an outcast she was. “I didn’t stutter, I
was adopted. Not that it matters, or is any of your business. That
is why you shouldn’t feel like you’re,” Kali made quotation marks
in the air, “punching above your weight.”

Blue felt the discomfort that had sprung up between them
because of the subject. He could tell by the set of her shoulders
and the tension in her face this was a sensitive issue for her.
Strangely, he did feel better. He’d looked up HiCaste courting
rituals and had felt his hopes to impress her and her family
diminish.

If Kali were more traditional, he wouldn’t have had a chance
as a suitor because of her standing in society. He’d be lucky if
she even glanced at him.

“
Thank you for telling me,” he said quietly.

“
It’s not a secret.” She picked at the blanket, eyes downcast.
“The nanosec you met my parents you’d of known.”

Feeling more awkward and out of place by the moment, she
leaned back to put space between them. Her face locked into a
pleasant non-expression she’d cultivated after withstanding years
of difficult situations.

Blue’s legs tensed either side of hers. “Don’t do
that.”

Kali judged the best way to disentangle totally.
“Hmm?”

“
Your happy face hides the sad. I’m being honest. You have to
admit the chances of your parents seeing me and approving are
unlikely. I didn’t mean to insult you, but I….” Blue thought hard
so as not to isolate her even more. “People of my own Caste are
wary of me. Can’t see your parents being any different if I were
to....” He cleared his throat.

Kali’s eyes rounded because he flushed and looked away. He did
that a lot when he needed to think, as if the sight of her
disrupted him or something.

Was Blue hinting that he would ask her parents for permission
to court her?

It was a HiCaste tradition her parents had never given Kali
the slightest inclination she need abide by, but that is what it
sounded like. If he’d been researching her Caste, there would have
had been a Herculean section on the rituals and proper practices of
dating.

Playing it cool on the outside, her heart back flipping on the
inside, Kali nudged his leg with hers. “If you were
to…?”

“
I have little to offer right now, but I can change that. My
life has been…. Until recently, I have felt a need to be less than
what I am, less than what I’m capable. Can’t explain why, just know
that I have the ability to be more.” He contemplated the middle
distance. He shrugged, at a loss to his own behaviour. “I’ve felt
as if I should hide who I am. My feelings have changed, and I’m
trying to live to the fullest. You’re worth changing for. I’d like
to ask your parents for the right to court you formally. That will
make my intentions clear.”

Kali tried not to laugh at how uncomfortable he looked. He was
trying to impress her. The LoCaste were fortunate that their
customs were less rigid and structured than those in higher
society. She’d always thought them lucky they could be so free in
their relations outside specially designated rooms.

Didn’t Blue realise she had already committed a dozen ritual
violations with him?

The answer was on the tip of her tongue, but she swallowed it.
Kali tipped her head back and pointed at the cluster of stars.
“Those stars right there are my favourite. The arrangement is the
first letter of my name.”

Blue didn’t press her and accepted the change of topic. He
leaned back on his hands and looked up. “Kali.” His eyes unfocused
as smile played on his lips. “Goddess of destruction.”

She cringed. “My parents were trying to be clever. Kali, The
Black One.” She rolled her eyes. “Have you ever seen a visual
representation of that goddess? She is terrifying, marvellous, but
terrifying. You have to give them points for relevancy.”

“
There is such affection in your voice. You love your
parents?”

“
More than anything. You don’t?”

He was quiet.

She wrinkled her nose; worried she might have upset
him.

“
We don’t speak anymore.” He shook his head at her devastated
look. “It’s standard.”

Kali firmly believed in healthy development being rooted in
the love of family. She opened her mouth to disagree then she
thought about it from his perspective. She shrugged, not wanting to
offend him. He seemed at peace. There was no anguish in his voice
when he spoke of his parents, no pained expression. The kind of
relationship she had with her parents wasn’t for
everybody.

They lay back on the blanket, and Kali pointed to her
favourite constellations.

“
Did you know that the cosmos is in a total state of flux?” she
asked. “The reason everything exists is because the universe’s
energy is constantly changing. Billions of billions of years into
the future everything will reach sameness, and all energy will be
one. The universe will stop moving, and cease existing. All that
energy used up.” Wide eyed, she bit her lip. “Isn’t that
fascinating and terrifying at the same time?”

Blue stared at her. This close to the OutRim there was no
artificial light and starlight kissed her profile. “Why terrifying?
You’ll have been dead a long time before that happens.”

“
The idea everything will one day cease to be gives me
chills.”

“
And what about your Higher Power. How to you reconcile
scientific fact with your faith?”

“
I don’t see the two as mutually exclusive. I accept science
explains what I see, feel, and touch around me, but that it will
never explain what I feel in my heart.” Kali rubbed her chest.
“There is a greater purpose to our lives, and I am more than some
random act of chance. My being here was destined from that first
spark in the hot big nothing.” She spared him a look, grinned. “And
so was yours.”

“
You think a great force preordains your life?” Blue was
engaged, trying to understand her point of view. “That fate decides
the outcome of your decisions.”

“
I do believe that there is a certain path I will travel.
Everything I’m describing can be explained scientifically in some
way or another, right?”

She knew it could be, but wanted to hear him say
it.

Blue thought about it, turning numerous hypotheses around in
his mind, but finding no evidence to flatly contradict her.
“Agreed.”

“
So why be pedantic over what it’s called?”

Now he frowned, not liking how blasé she could be about fact
over belief. “Because science is more than a mish mash of
beliefs.”

“
I agree. It’s educated faith. People choose to be literal and
see God and the Cosmic Virgin as people like we are. As if they
have taken on flesh and blood and have what we call rational
thought.”

“
You’re suggesting pure energy is the Higher Power. Yet you
differentiate between a male and female power, and say your life
has been set by fate.”

“
God is matter, anything with mass.” She held up one hand. “The
Cosmic Virgin is dark energy, everything else without mass. The
black voids in-between.” She held up the other hand then pressed
them together, interlocking her fingers. “Two sides of the same
coin, creation and destruction. We’re talking about the same
things, it just has different names, and admittedly the scientific
names are fancier.”