Chasing Beautiful (Chasing Series #1) (30 page)

Pursing my lips, I nodded. “Okay, Let me just wash my face and brush my teeth, then I’ll come down.”

Padding my way to the bathroom, I looked for a spare toothbrush and found one in the very last drawer. I didn’t even bother checking what my face looked like. I knew my eyes
were red and swollen. I just couldn’t bear seeing it and looking myself in the eye. I just might have had a nervous breakdown.

After washing up, I took a scrunchy from my purse and tied my hair up
. Then I headed downstairs barefoot in my same clothes from yesterday.
Kyle probably took my shoes off in the middle of the night.
I sighed.

I found Kyle making two cups of coffee. There were two p
lates with ham and cheese omelets on the breakfast table. I took a seat as he placed a hot, freshly brewed coffee next to me. “Thank you, Kyle. But you didn’t have to wake up this early and make me breakfast.”

“You’re talking crazy. That was nothing compared to your usual crazy PMS days.”

I smiled. “Geez, why do you always bring that up? Either way—thank you.” I took a loaded sip of my coffee and a hefty bite of the omelet.

We
were silent for awhile until he spoke. “I’m actually leaving for Heathrow back in LA today—for two weeks. My flight’s at ten-thirty. So I had to wake up anyway.”

I paused.
He was leaving for two weeks?
“You never said. Why didn’t you say anything?”

“You’ve been busy with Blake since Saturday and I didn’t want to bother you. It was irrelevant.”

“How can that be irrelevant? You should’ve told me at least. I would’ve showed up at work Friday and found you gone. What the hell?”

Kyl
e shrugged. “I honestly didn’t think it was a big deal. I just didn’t want to bother you, ’kay?”

“Well, we’re best friends. You should tell me
every time you plan to leave the country. I worry too.”

“Fine, okay. I’ll do that if it makes you happy.”

I murmured thank you and took another sip of my coffee. I didn’t have much of an appetite and I had to force myself to eat. Kyle wouldn’t have it if I didn’t eat and I couldn’t deal with another argument at that point.

Blake…was he hurting too?
Maybe, maybe not. I didn’t know him anymore. I thought I did, but I simply did not. That mask he puts on sometimes never comes off. I never know which one I’ll get when I’m with him. He could be deceiving. I had been dangerously playing with fire and I had gotten burnt.

Kyle took both of our plates
to the sink and cleaned up. I got up and sat on one of the stools that faced him. “Hey, I was thinking…would you mind if I go home with you? I don’t want to stay here. I just want to get away for a bit. I can email my teachers and tell them that there’s an emergency back home.”

“
You sure?
You’re not going to get in trouble? I know you’re hurting baby, but you can’t mess up school. You’ve worked so hard to get here; don’t mess it up. But if your teachers are going to be okay with it—then who am I to stop you?” I went over to his side and gave him a big hug.

“Thank you! Thank you!
Now, I have to go and pack. I don’t want to miss our flight.”

He called me a cab and we agreed that it
would be easier for him to pick me up from the flat and we’d head to the airport from there. He’d pick me up around seven-thirty and it was already quarter past six. I technically had an hour to shower and pack.

The idea of going home
with him came out of nowhere. But I was glad I thought of it because I couldn’t stand staying here after the break-up.

The thought of seeing Blake terrified me. The idea of seeing him with someone else so soon
was definitely going to kill me. I knew I was running away from it all, but I wasn’t strong enough to face any of my friends and explain the situation.

The ride from Kyle’s house in Hampstead to Covent Garden took half the time than usual without traffic. I graciously thanked the driver and hurriedly entered the building.

I quietly entered the apartment, not wanting to wake Lucy out of her sleep. I hunted for my luggage, unzipped it and lugged it on to the bed. I couldn’t even look at the bed without seeing images of Blake and me making love on it.

Shit, this is going to be difficult.

I fe
lt like I was a walking, breathing dead person. There was a heavy knotted feeling on my chest. Every time I breathed it hurt. It felt like someone had jammed my heart with a knife, pulled it out and left me open and bleeding.

I started taking off my clothes when I heard a knock on my door. I froze.
Shit, is that Blake?

“May I come in?” Lucy’s soft voice said against the door.

“Yep, come on in,” I answered.

She walked in the room looking half awake and her eyes widen
ed when she saw the luggage on my bed. “Where are you going?”

“I’m going back home with Kyle for
a couple of weeks. I
need
some space—away.”

She sighed and sat next to my luggage. “Blake’s been calling my phone every hour checking if you came home. He’s going barmy and acting like a nutter. Haven’t you checked your phone?” I shook my head. I didn’t dare check it.

“Listen—I don’t know why you guys broke up—and I feel awful that you guys did—I love you both and I hate that it’s come to this. He didn’t want to talk about the reason why you guys did. Would it be okay if I tell him that you’re home and you’re safe? The man hasn’t slept because he’s been so worried.”

“Yeah, that’s fine.” M
y small voice croaked a response. She got up and hugged me. “If going back home will help—then go. But if you’re not sure—then best you fix it with him—if there’s a chance for you both. Just think about it okay? I love you, my dear friend. I’ll let Chad know later on today. Don’t forget to let us know that you’ve arrived safely, alright?” she kissed my cheek and quietly left the room.

My eyes burned but no tears formed. I guess I ran out of tears from all the excessive crying I did last night. I jumped in the shower for ten minutes and got out to change.

Was there anything to contemplate with Blake? He lied—technically. He hid the truth. He didn’t man up and confess his little dirty secret.
Is the engagement his dirty little secret or I am? Now that I think about it, he never once asked me to accompany him to any of the events or galas he attended. Apart from our friends, he never invited me to meet other people he dealt business with.

Fuck, th
is realization hurts.
I had always wondered but I didn’t dwell on it because I was just happy being with him. I didn’t need all the bells and whistles. I only wanted him and I didn’t care about all the lavish parties he went to. The joke was on me. He only used me for sex. His declaration of love was pure bullshit.

I hastily changed
into black stretchy-skinny jeans and a black fitted shirt and black wedge heels. I pulled my wet hair in a bun and rummaged through my closet and my essential toiletries. I jammed them all in the luggage without a care. I didn’t even bother with make-up and settled for sheer lip gloss instead.
Kyle should be here in five minutes. I had better get moving so I can meet him downstairs.

I found Luce in the kitchen drinking her morning coffee. Poor thing, she looked like hell from lack of sleep. Blake was so inconsiderate to bother Lucy in the middle of the night like a psycho. I kn
ew he was worried but Luce needed her sleep. Her school was taking up a lot of her time as it was. I hated Blake even more when I got a glimpse of her dark circles. We said our quick goodbyes and I left for downstairs.

Dragging my luggage out of the elevator and
straight out of the main door, I didn’t see the person waiting for me.

“
Sienna—please talk to me.
I’ve been out of my wits with worry since last night when you didn’t come home.” His eyes found my luggage. “Going on a trip?”

“
Yes, in fact. Kyle should be here any second. He’s going back home for awhile and I invited myself along.”

“Why would you do that? You know how I feel about him. He’s in love with you! He’s going to take this opportunity and turn it in his favor.”

“That would certainly be up to me, don’t you think? Stop wasting your time.”

“No—we can figure it out. I don’t want to be with anyone else. I love you, Sienna—with everything that I am—I love you.”
Liar, if he did…he would’ve ended his engagement before I even found out, but he didn’t.

He raked a hand through his hair.
Dammit, he looks beautiful and sexy as hell.

“Stop lying to yourself—and
to me
. Game over, so you should drop the act.” He swiftly captured my lips and I reeled from the impact of his kiss. After a few times of trying to coax my lips into submission, I gave in to my lecherous body.

God, kissing him feels perfect…
it feels like home.

I love him so much, it hurts.
My tears fell freely and we both tasted them—but he didn’t stop. With a deep heavy guttural growl, he pulled my lips away and cradled my cheeks with his hands. “Did that feel like a game to you?” I lowered my eyes and stared at his chest. “
Damn you!
That kiss felt more
real
than anything else in this world. You love me! That kiss just proved that you do. I love you too, Sienna—I can’t live without you—will you marry me?”

I gasped and stared at him like
a deer caught in the headlights as he got on a bended knee. He produced a ginormous rock. It was certainly past fifteen carats. The princess-cut canary diamond surrounded with smaller diamonds. The ring was designed in a halo pattern with diamonds surrounding the entire band—the eternity band.

“
The color of the rock reminds me of the color of your eyes when they get caught with the sun—like liquid gold. I commissioned this ring to be made the day after I left for New York. That night—I knew you were
it
for me. I don’t want anyone else. I know everything’s been unfolding so quickly, but I wanted—needed you to know how much you mean to me.
I love you
—
wholeheartedly
. Will you please let me be the happiest man in all of England and say
yes
?”

I s
tared wide-eyed at the ring, back to his face and back to the ring again. Shocked—doesn’t even justify my reaction.

“Blake—I’m sorry—I can’t.”

H
e abruptly stood up and grabbed my face with a fierce scowl. “What do you mean you can’t? How hard it is to say yes?”

“I can’t—I’m sorry
.” I stammered through my tears.

“I see. I guess I imagined that you felt the same way
—but I suppose that’s all it was—an imagination.”

He heaved and faced
me with a stony face. “You’ll regret this—because I’ve only ever loved you—and when you see me happy with another woman—you’ll regret it even more. Your thoughts will be haunted by me—the one that got away. Goodbye, Sienna.” He stood there for a few seconds before sliding in the Aston Martin, gunning the engine and rapidly vanishing through the traffic.

I wiped away my tears and exhaled a long sigh. I did the right thing, I know I
did.
He lied—I can’t trust him!

Kyle’s cologne penetrated the air, letting me know that he
was close to me. “Did you see all of that?”

“I did. Sienna
…you love him. And it hurts for me to say this—but what if you’re making a mistake? Don’t you think you should give it another shot?”

What
good would it be without trust?
  It was worthless without trust.

How can one be happy with a liar? One who keep
s secrets such as having a fucking fiancée?
Even if I did give him another chance, I would be permanently living in a state of paranoia. I couldn’t do that to myself.

I did the right thing—the best thing. It might
not feel like it now, but it will be in the long run.

“No—let’s leave it at that. We have to get going. I don’t want to miss the flight.”