Chasing Cassidy (14 page)

American Wedding
is up next and we spend the next two hours laughing so hard we’re almost crying. Toward the end of the movie, while they are exchanging their vows, Zack leans over and brushes his lips across mine.

Our first kiss.

Again.

I still feel the same tingles I felt that day. It’s as if my body instinctively knows Zack is my home. I explained the tingles to Rylee, and she told me a few days later—after thinking about it—she thought it meant Zack was my one and only. Her theory is since she’s never had tingles, and they’re all I’ve ever known since our first kiss, that must mean she still hasn’t met her one true love yet but that I had. She was excited to no end because not only did that mean I could have my happily ever after, but we’d also truly be sisters.

I remember feeling bad for her because I couldn’t imagine kissing anyone and not having the tingles. They flood my every sense and lift me up on an unbelievable high.

My body is craving so much more than the perfect tender kisses Zack is giving me right now, but I know there’s a method to his madness. As he pulls away, he utters the words I knew would come but they make my heart skip a beat all the same.

“Cassidy, will you be my girlfriend?” Oh, dear Lord, I think he officially won the most swoon worthy man in the world with those six words uttered in the most sinful voice I’ve ever heard. This is it, the beginning of righting my wrongs. He’s giving us the opportunity for a fresh start—one built on love and trust.

I want this with him more than anything in the world, and this time I’m going to prove it to him. I have to stop being the girl who is afraid to open her heart. I have to stop giving my dad’s words so much power over me. That man has continually hurt me for as long as I can remember and Zack has always been the one to save me. The one to heal me when no one else even knew I was broken.

“Yes.” My answer is strong and I’m so proud of myself. This is going to be the first step I take to a new life. It’s terrifying and exhilarating all at once.

He places his hands on my cheeks and brushes his lips against mine again. So softly and so lovingly.

As he pulls away, he smirks and I know this was a small but huge victory for him. I’m sure he was worried after the wedding that I’d say no. I’m making a personal vow to myself never to say no to this man again.

“Next one?”

I look up and realize the credits are rolling on the movie. I was lost in my own thoughts for a bit. When I don’t answer right away, he looks at me with a thoughtful expression. “Lunch first instead?”

Pulling out the pack of Red Vines, I pass him a few. “We’ve got lunch right here,” I reply and reach in for the Raisinets, as well.

“Alright, junk food for lunch it is.” He shakes his head, laughs, and starts the movie. I’m not fooled, though; I know Zack would eat junk food for lunch daily if he could. Besides, if you’re going to watch
My Girl
you
need
comfort food and tissues. Lots of tissues. As if reading my mind, Zack bends over and slides a box of tissues out from under the couch.

This was never Zack’s favorite movie but I love it. Even though I’m quickly sucked into the story, I can feel his eyes on me every so often. When Thomas gets stung by the bees, my tears begin to fall. After the first few tears fall, Zack reaches over and cups my face in his hands, gently wiping away my tears with his fingers.

“Cassidy,” he whispers as his mouth descends onto mine and I open for him immediately just like I did all those years ago. With the first small stroke of his tongue, I’m flooded with the memory of what it was like to touch him intimately like this the first time. Back then I was terrified I’d be a bad kisser, but it was amazing. It’s even better now. And those tingles… they’re like fireworks right now.

When he pulls away, his forehead meets mine and I breathe him in. Zack always smells so incredible, like a combination of man and spice with a touch of fresh breeze. If I could bottle his scent and sell it, I’d be richer than him. A strange thought comes to mind when I think about money and Zack notices.

“What are you thinking about? You look really perplexed.”

I pull my head away from his and ask him the suddenly troubling question, “Do you think your mom always knew I would back out of the wedding at some point?”

With a raised eyebrow, he responds, “I’m not sure but somehow I don’t think so. Why?”

“This is going to sound so silly but I just realized nobody ever had me sign a pre-nup. She’d have to have assumed the wedding would never happen. I guess my actions were pretty predictable.”

“You’re anything but predictable, but so is my mother. A pre-nup was brought up by my attorney when the trust fund kicked in years ago. My dad and I pushed it aside, saying we’d deal with it when the time came. But my mother made an offhanded comment that if I was marrying you, there would be no need. She might not be
our
biggest fan but she loves
you,
Cassidy, and she knows you’d never take advantage of us.”

I’m not sure what to think of that statement at all.

“It’s hard to reconcile, isn’t it? I’m not my mother’s biggest advocate right now. Far from it, in fact. Especially since we’re only here right now because she wouldn’t stop interfering in our lives. Even so, she adores you, Cassidy. Think about the endless shopping trips, salon trips, dance prep, vacations… do you really think she would have let that happen, let alone encouraged them, if she disliked you?”

No, it’s not true. She doesn’t love me; she barely tolerates me.

“It’s too much of a contradiction, Zack. Why bond and encourage my friendship with Ry and let us date with only occasional interference all through high school, even college, only to spend the last three years since we became engaged trying to convince me I’m not good enough for you? What happened?”

When Zack thinks hard, he has this adorable habit of rubbing the bottom of his chin a bit. He never even realizes he does it but it’s his tell, so to speak. “Honestly, I don’t know. From my perspective, I knew you two butted heads and I knew she ‘encouraged’ me to see who else could be out there for me, but I chalked it up to harmless, overbearing mothering. Maybe she thought it was a high school thing we would grow out of but…”

As his voice trails off, his chin rubbing becomes constant.

“But what? What are you thinking?”

“Well, that last text said she paid your parents off. I’m not sure what she paid them off for but that could be the likely cause for her issues with you lately.”

“What are we going to do, Zack?”

“We’re going to love each other until the day we die. That’s what we’re going to do. Whatever this issue my mom has is, she’ll get over it. And if she doesn’t, it’s her loss. She’s my mom. She did her job and raised me to be the kind of man who makes his own decisions and doesn’t back down. You’re my future, Cassidy, end of story.”

His lips crash onto mine with a lot more force than our first date and I don’t know if it’s the effects of his words or the fact that I almost lost him, but my body needs to be close to his. Without breaking the kiss, I fling my leg across the couch and straddle him. My hands immediately work their way into his wavy, jet black hair and I cry out in ecstasy.

I feel his erection growing against my heat as his arms wrap around me and pull me closer. After a few minutes of practically fucking through our clothes, he pulls away from me. As gently as he can, he pulls me off of him, stands, and begins pacing. I’m trying not to feel hurt but I do. Zack’s never pulled away from me before,
not ever.

While he paces, I pull my feet up and tuck my chin into my knees and watch him. Eventually, he notices how hurt I am by his actions and drops to his knees in front of me. After prying my legs open and situating himself in-between them, he hugs me close and whispers in my ear.

“I’ve never wanted you more than I want you right now. We’re taking this one day at a time, though, and today is a day for innocent and maybe some not so innocent kisses. We can’t take this further until it’s time. You need to trust me, okay?”

His eyes are pleading with mine to understand him. And I do.

“Okay,” I reply, placing a tender kiss on the tip of his nose. “Just innocent kisses… for now.”

“Thank you for being agreeable. Now, not to put a damper on this date, but I need to make some calls and you need to call Rylee.”

Releasing a sigh, I weigh my options. I don’t want to turn on my phone because then I’ll have to see their texts and listen to Zack’s messages from yesterday. I already know how much I hurt him but I really don’t want to have to hear it.

“Hey,” he says, tilting my chin up to meet his eyes. “No matter what is on your phone, it doesn’t matter. I’m here and we’re together. Besides, I didn’t leave you any sad messages or any mad ones yesterday. I was hurt and I was worried, but I also knew I was coming after you so there’s nothing on there you need to fear. At least not from me.”

Feeling as if a weight has been lifted from my chest, I give him a small smile. “Okay, let’s go get this over with so we can enjoy the rest of our day.”

Zack gave me a kiss on the forehead and went downstairs to talk to Pete and make some calls. Within a few minutes, he came back up and dropped off my purse so I could call Rylee. Guess he doesn’t want me putting it off. I can’t, anyway. I know Zack told Rylee he’s here but she won’t be happy until she talks to me herself.

After powering on my phone and listening to all the notifications ding, I make myself comfortable in one of the reading chairs and look out the window. Once the notifications stop, I scroll through all the missed calls and text messages. Other than the last message from Priscilla, there is nothing further from her. There are multiple messages from Ry freaking out on me but most of them are just her being worried about me and begging me to call her.

Zack’s messages are simple and strong—mostly telling me to call him and letting me know how worried he was. Reading them makes me feel awful. Knowing how much pain I caused him yesterday is just another reminder I need to grow stronger for him. I’ve been selfish and he’s been wonderful. It’s time for me to be the woman he needs.

Time to pay the piper. I pull up Rylee on speed dial and hit ‘talk.’ I don’t even think the phone completes one ring before she’s screaming in my ear.

“Cassidy! Oh my god! It’s about time! Where are you? Are you okay? Is Zack with you? Babe, why did you run away? Everybody was so worried.”

I can’t help letting out a laugh with all the questions she’s throwing at me.

“Cassidy, this isn’t funny! I was really scared, you should have called me.” I can
hear
her pout through the phone.

“I’m sorry, Rylee, really. I just couldn’t bring myself to turn my phone on. I couldn’t bear seeing how much I hurt Zack.”

“Oh, sweetie,” Rylee’s tone is now calm and soothing. “Don’t you get it yet? You just can’t run away from my brother. He’s the most romantic person I’ve ever met. It doesn’t matter what you do to him, he’ll always find you.”

As I try to hold back more tears, I sniffle. “This is the last time, Ry. I’ve got to get my shit together, I’ve got to face my demons. He said he won’t follow me anymore. It’s hurting him too much. I’m breaking his heart because I can’t let him in.”

“Well,” she hedges and then plows straight ahead, “he’s not the only one you won’t let in. Maybe it’s time he put his foot down and I should do the same. We’ve been best friends for twenty-one years and you’ve never confided in me as to why your home life is a mess. You know every single one of my secrets, Cassidy, and I don’t know the biggest of yours.”

She’s right.

“Rylee.” I’m scared. I’ve always been strong enough to want to deal with this on my own. “Letting out all these secrets is likely to break my psyche. I’m doing it because I love you both and it’s far past time. But when I’m broken, the two of you have to put me back together. Deal?”

With a gasp—as she realizes I’m finally going to confide in her—she agrees. “Deal.”

“When my grandma died, the year before we moved into her house, my dad started to change. He became distant and started getting upset easily. At first, my mom and I tiptoed around him. She said he was sad because his mom died and went to heaven. Finally, he told her he thought he would be better if we moved back to his childhood home. She was reluctant but finally gave in because she missed her husband. We’d only been there a few weeks when I met you and Zack.”