Chasing Shadows (6 page)

~Chapter 7~

Sarah stared up at the rafters, her arms pillowed behind her head. It was completely dark in the still barn, not that she could have focused, anyway—she could hardly see past the images that occupied her mind and kept her from falling asleep.

She thought about how welcoming the Jones family had been and how at ease she had felt talking and laughing with them over dinner; it was as though she hadn’t been absent for months as she fit right in with their family dynamic. Even Seth appeared comfortable during the meal and when they parted ways that night, and Sarah couldn’t help but wonder if he was over his silly crush on her.

Her mind suddenly brought before her eyes the picture of her and Will standing in the street together as he held her close, and she tried to hold onto the memory of that moment, that brief instant where she assumed everything would go perfectly, before it slipped away and was replaced with reality. It was their first time seeing each other in a long time, and she had imagined it so differently. She was embarrassed to admit that she’d even daydreamed about what it would be like to see him again—a few scenarios to keep the romantic side of her mind occupied during long summer afternoons. Sarah hadn’t thought it would do any harm, since she would never see him again, but now those imaginings of tender gazes and cheesy professions of love mocked her, gloating that she would never have any of that with anyone. 

She squeezed her eyes closed to block out the images that played on the dark ceiling, wanting to block out the regret and questions circling around in her head. There had been so many things she had wanted to ask Will: Why had he deserted his quest to help others as the Shadow? Was it because of what she’d said to him about it being just a quest for vengeance against his parents’ killer?

But her pride and anger had gotten in the way, and instead of seeking answers, she had only managed to stir his own temper and poke at his pride to soothe her own. His words spoken to her long ago on a trail came to mind, and she remembered his grin as he spoke.

You and I are not so very different, Sarah.

She was beginning to think he might have been right.
                

****

Sarah and Karen ate breakfast with the rest of the family—an affair that was just as noisy and conversation-oriented as dinner—before asking Seth to hitch the wagon. With a roll of his eyes that was offset by his crooked grin, he did just that.

“You know, I should really learn how to do it myself sometime.” The snowfall the night before had created a hush over the forest, and Karen’s words as they rode along the narrow trail were the only sound to disrupt the silence.

“Do what?” Sarah asked absentmindedly.

Karen glanced at her oddly. “Hitching the horses to the wagon. What were you thinking about?”

“Why does it matter?” Sarah asked, side-stepping the question.

Karen grinned good-naturedly. “You know, for an open person, you sure can be cryptic sometimes.”

“I wouldn’t say I was being cryptic,” she defended.

“You’re right. Locked-up tight is more appropriate.”

She grimaced. “Sorry.”

Karen seemed to shrug it off. “Don’t be. I didn’t take it personally.”

They lapsed into silence as they approached town, and Sarah felt a stirring of anxiety in her stomach. Since Karen’s afternoon of eavesdropping outside the castle the day before had proved fruitless, they agreed that their best opportunity to discover anything was for Sarah to get hired as a maid and work from within the castle.

She clasped and unclasped her hands in her lap nervously, her mind working too furiously for her to grab hold of any single thought. “You think I can pull this off?”

“You are going to do just fine,” Karen replied, obviously guessing at her doubt. She glanced at Sarah before turning her eyes back to the street. “Were you ever involved in a production at your school?”

The question took Sarah by surprise. “Yeah, small roles,” she answered slowly, not comprehending.

“Were you any good?”

She shrugged her shoulders and answered modestly, “I was okay, I guess.”

Karen looked at her again and that quick grin appeared. “You’re lying.”

Sarah gave a small laugh. “Okay, so I got a couple of lead parts. But it was a small town and there wasn’t much competition for the role of Dorothy.” Her expression turned serious. “But that was years ago, Karen, and I just had to play a wide-eyed girl. This is real life; there are no practice runs or rehearsals. I’m not sure I can do this.”

Karen reached over and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. “I
know
you can do this. I have faith in you, just like you believe in me. I’m sure you learned how to get into character for whatever role you were playing. Just do that and you’ll be fine.”

Sarah nodded and took a deep breath. Get into character—she could do that. Mrs. Moss, the head of the theater department at her old middle school, had always told the kids participating in her plays that the best way to get into character was to ask themselves questions. Simple ones, like what is the name of the character they’re portraying, where are they from, what is their background? Sarah found it ironic that she had rolled her eyes every time she heard those words and was now preparing to put that advice to the test.

Who is my character?
she asked herself.

She turned to Karen. “Am I supposed to use my real name?”

The redhead worried her lower lip. “Maybe just your first. Whoever sent Allan after you and Will might be on the lookout for a Sarah Matthews, so it’s easier to blend in by giving as little information as possible.”

“Should I use a false identity?” Sarah asked, only half joking.

“No. You don’t want to find yourself in a situation where you bump into someone you know and they use your real name.”

Sarah nodded, mentally filing that advice away to be used later. “Right, okay. Anything else?”

Karen thought for a moment as she directed the horses toward the castle, ducking her head beneath her hood out of habit. “Remember, you’re a servant, so don’t be outspoken.” She grinned as if that was impossible, and Sarah rolled her eyes. “Only speak when spoken to, and don’t challenge anyone of higher rank. We don’t want you getting flogged on your first day.” Though she said it like a joke, her words carried warning.

Sarah swallowed hard as Karen pulled the wagon to a stop in front of the castle gates. They turned in their seats to face each other. Karen’s face was serious and held a note of worry, though Sarah could tell she was trying not to show her fear.

“If it gets too sticky in there, just get out. Don’t hesitate to pull yourself away from there if you feel you’ve been compromised.”

Sarah wiggled her eyebrows teasingly, though her insides had turned to jelly. “I feel like a secret agent.”

Karen leaned forward, her expression grim and insistent. “I am not kidding, Sarah. I don’t care how close you feel you are. This isn’t T.V. where the good guy gets away unscathed. Nothing’s so important that you should risk your life over it.”

“Some things are,” Sarah said quietly.

“
But not this.”
Karen emphasized each word to drive her point home. “Getting justice for the king is our goal, but it won’t bring him back.”

Sarah eyed the sharp spikes at the top of the heavily guarded gate and swallowed the sudden lump in her throat.

“Don’t worry about me,” she said with more confidence than she felt. “I’ll be fine. Now get out of here before someone spots you.”

Karen nodded solemnly as Sarah jumped out of the wagon. Taking a deep breath for courage, she signaled her friend to leave with a wave of her hand. She watched Karen reluctantly drive away and turned to face the intimidating vastness of the castle, suddenly feeling completely alone. Then she remembered that she was never alone.

Lord, help me not to mess this up. Let us be successful and bring whatever evil has been going on here to light.

She advanced toward the open gate slowly, trying to look like she was confident and knew what she was doing. But would a servant really appear self-assured in such an intimidating situation? She allowed herself to reveal a small amount of the genuine trepidation she felt as she approached the men guarding the gate. She kept her head low and tried to pass by them without notice.

One of the guards grabbed her arm and spun her around to face him.

“Where do you think you’re goin’, missy?” he asked, his stare as hard as the grip he had on her. “We got strict orders not to let anyone pass.”

Her heart felt ready to burst out of her chest in surprise, but her frustration over having been caught so quickly overshadowed her fear. “Then why not shut the gate so nobody can get in?” she ground out between clenched teeth.

The man didn’t answer her but pulled her with him and released her several feet from the entrance. Wordlessly, he walked back to his post and scanned the perimeter, though he tactfully avoided her fiery gaze.

Sarah had to fight against the urge to try and outrun the guards. But common sense overruled the desire when she realized that having them chase after her as she tried to apply for a position in the castle might not be an incentive to hire her.

“Fine,” she muttered under her breath. “I’ll find my own way, then.”

She walked along the outside of the gate, examining the fortress for any other entrances. There were none. She rounded the far side and was about to give up hope when she spotted the servants’ entrance at the back of the gate.

“Bingo.” She smiled to herself and started in that direction.

Someone grabbed her arm, and she spun around in fright, assuming that one of the guards had caught up with her. She expelled a gusty breath when she looked up and caught Will’s stern expression.

“What are you doing?” she whispered, glancing around to make sure no one had spotted them. There were a few of the townsfolk on the backside of the castle, but none of them paid attention to them. “Were you trying to give me a heart attack?”

“What are you doing?” he repeated in his quiet way. His hand fell from her arm.

“What are
you
doing?” she shot back, staring up at him.

“Keeping you out of trouble.” He adjusted the sack slung over his shoulder, drawing her attention to it.

“What is that?”

“You’re evading my previous question.”

Sarah cringed. How did he always know what she was thinking? It was very inconvenient when she was trying to distract him.

Giving up on her ruse, she straightened her shoulders and mustered all the confidence she was far from feeling. “I’m applying for a position in the castle.”

His eyes narrowed, but she didn’t shrink back. “I thought I made it clear how dangerous this will be.”

“You did. But I can make my own decisions.” She waited for him to tell her otherwise and prepared to argue over the subject with him.

He expelled a gusty sigh and shook his head at her wordlessly. Taking her elbow, he guided her toward the servants’ entrance.

“What are you doing?” she whispered, looking around nervously. He kept his eyes straight ahead.

“I am not letting you go in there alone.”

Sarah’s surprised melted into a small smile. So he did still care. If he had been in a better mood, she might have teased him a little about this fact.

Her smile faded as they neared the tall gate. She felt suddenly insignificant and unsure and moved a little closer to Will. He must have sensed her hesitancy, because his pace slowed and he caught her eye. “Do you still wish to do this?”

She nodded, though she was sure her face still conveyed some of her unease. “I need to do this.”

He didn’t question her further as they stepped up to the door. He removed his hand from her arm and knocked.

A servant answered. Her face was pale and narrow, and she wore an old apron speckled with flour over her ratty clothes. Her collarbone was pronounced above the neckline of the gray dress, and Sarah was sure that the girl didn’t eat properly.  

“Yes?” she asked in a small voice. The girl couldn’t have been more than fourteen.

Sarah swallowed hard, stomach twisting in a nervous knot.

Will’s expression softened as he looked at the girl. “Would you please tell Terrance that Mr. Taylor is here?”

The girl nodded and skirted away like a frightened rabbit, leaving the door open. Sarah no longer had to pretend to be an intimidated servant seeking out employment; she was downright scared with the thought that everyone who worked in the castle was as frightened as that girl.

“Sarah?”

She looked up at Will with wide eyes. His own softened, and he leaned down, looking concerned, and that only caused her heart to beat more erratically.

“We can still leave.” His voice was quiet with understanding. Sarah inhaled a shuddering breath and grabbed his arm with both her hands, drawing strength from his nearness.