Authors: Justine Faeth
I feel my shoulders tense, and a tight feeling spreads in my throat. I see Jackson’s fingers tracing light circles on her bare skin. They’re blatantly flirting and watching it makes me want to scream. For some reason, the thought of the two of them together bothers me immensely. Realistically, they would probably be perfect for one another because they are both cocky, self-absorbed, and fond of casual sex.
Danni notices my gaze and smiles, signaling for me to join them. I drag myself over to where they are standing, wishing I could make myself invisible. Danni eyes are shimmering with a drunken sparkle as she leans into Jackson’s side.
“Lu, why didn’t you tell me how funny Jackson is?”
“Because he isn’t,” I reply, not bothering to hide my disdain.
I narrow my eyes at him and he smirks at me in reply.
Danni playfully hits my arm. “You’re lying. I have been talking to him and he is hilarious.”
Danni has always been able to get any man she wants, and tonight’s choice appears to be Jackson. Not that I could compete with her, but a part of me wishes that he was planning to take me home. The whole situation is making me uncomfortable, as I can sense the building sexual tension between them. Looking for any reason to leave, I scan the room and see Ian flirting with some blonde, Corey still making out with his random woman, and Wayne sitting on the couch where I left him, desperately trying to avoid the affection of a particularly aggressive redhead.
“Your boyfriend looks like he gotten some bird’s attention,” Jackson says, trying to get a reaction out of me.
Danni laughs loudly. “Who, Wayne? Wayne isn’t Lu’s boyfriend, he’s more like her brother!” She continues to giggle, apparently unaware that Jackson and I aren’t laughing.
Frustrated, I leave the two of them and approach Wayne. Obviously, he is in need of some assistance; the redhead has him pinned against the end of the couch, and she is practically seated on top of him. His constant squirming and attempts at polite rejection only serve to make the situation more comical.
“Hey, Wayne, do you want to get a drink with me?” I hold my hand out for him to take.
He grabs it and I pull him to his feet.
“Sorry, uh, you…” he says, forgetting the woman’s name. “Good luck tonight.” He drags me to the kitchen, whispering his gratitude over and over. I glance over my shoulder and see Jackson staring at me, obviously bothered about something.
As soon as we enter the kitchen, Wayne drops my hand and makes himself another drink.
“Are you OK?” I ask him with a smile.
He takes a large sip of his drink. “I am now. That woman would have taken my clothes off if you hadn’t come over to rescue me!”
I chuckle and pour myself more champagne.
“She kept telling me that her divorce had just been finalized, and that she wanted to celebrate, naked.” He shakes his head and blushes. “She was very drunk.”
I laugh out loud, covering my mouth to stifle a snort. “You should have sent her to Ian. You know how he loves damaged women.”
Wayne pokes his head out the door, peering carefully into the living room. “I don’t think I need to—Ian is talking to her now.”
I shake my head in disbelief. “Wow, Ian has quite the radar.”
Wayne nods and asks, “Do you think we could just stay in here all night? There’s plenty of alcohol and food, so we won’t starve. I think we’ll be able to survive.”
Considering that it will save me the annoyance of having to watch Jackson flirt with Danni, I’m a strong supporter of Wayne’s idea. The two of us take a seat on the floor, snacking on the chips Danni has set out and discussing some of Wayne’s experiences on Chat Love. Suddenly, Danni comes bursting into the kitchen.
“Lu, someone wants to talk to you,” she says, grabbing my hand and dragging me into the living room.
She deposits me in front of Jackson, who is now accompanied by a very handsome man with short blonde hair and big brown eyes. I look at them both and smile, still not sure why it was so urgent that I come to the living room. The man’s eyes light up and he smiles while Jackson’s eyes narrow at me and his jaw clenches.
“Chris, this is my friend Lucia.” Danni squeezes my hand. “Lucia, this is Chris, Jackson’s friend.”
Chris is almost as tall as Jackson, and he looks down at me with a cordial nod as he offers his hand for me to shake. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Lucia,” he says in a British accent.
I ask him, “How do you know Jackson?”
He gives me another smile and takes a step closer to me, “We grew up in London together. I moved here before he did. In fact, I had to convince Jackson to move here after Lisa.”
Jackson cuts in, snapping at his friend, “She doesn’t need to hear about that.”
I look at Jackson and see him staring at me intensely, which makes me uncomfortable. I turn back to look at Chris and see that he is staring at my chest. The entire situation has me feeling multiple degrees of discomfort, so I politely excuse myself to the restroom.
As I’m leaving the bathroom I bump into Jackson, almost knocking him over. I take a step back and my back hits the wall. He moves in closer to me, putting his right hand near my head and cornering me in a way that makes me feel both fear and desire. He looks angry, and I’m curious as to why.
“Chris likes you,” he blurts out. “I told him to stay away from you.”
Feeling both flattered and angry I hiss, “Excuse me? Just who do you think you are?”
He leans in closer and I can smell the whiskey on his breath. “Chris doesn’t do relationships. He just wants to shag you, nothing more.”
I roll my eyes at him. “You have a lot of nerve, do you know that? You were all over my friend just an hour ago, and now you’re telling me to stay away from yours?”
He leans in closer, his lips near my ear. “I just know that you don’t want to be a one-night stand.”
“How do you know what I want?” I ask, crossing my arms.
He leans in and places his lips on my neck, leaving a trail of little kisses. They travel down to my bare shoulder, as he nibbles lightly, making me moan slightly in spite of myself. In a low voice he says, “You’re not that kind of woman. You want to be cherished.” He looks up at me, making deliberate eye contact. “You deserve to be cherished.”
He glances at my lips and leans in closer. As much as I want to feel his lips on mine, I can’t help but think of him flirting with Danni just a few hours before. I lean back, hitting my head against the wall.
“What about Danni?” I ask.
He pulls back, a confused expression on his face. “What about her?”
“You want her.”
“Do I?” he asks, cocking one eyebrow. “If I wanted her I would have her already.” He leans in and kisses my bare shoulder again. “I think it’s obvious who I want.” He lifts his head and stares at me, taking my chin between his fingers and gently turning it in the direction of Danni and Chris. He moves his arm away from the wall so I can see, and I’m surprised to see Danni standing in the middle of the living room, locked in a kiss with Chris. I feel Jackson’s lips on my neck again.
“I told Danni that she should stop trying with me and go for Chris instead.”
I move my head and look him in the eye. “Why?”
He leans into me, and I feel his full weight pressing against my body. “Because I want you, not her.”
A light moan escapes my lips as I close my eyes and lean my head against the wall, enjoying the feeling of our bodies pressed together. We are suddenly interrupted when someone bumps into Jackson. I pull away and see Autumn standing there, tears streaking down her face.
“I’m sorry,” she chokes out, blushing. “I was just trying to get to the bathroom.” She hangs her head and looks around as if she’s trying to find somewhere to hide.
“Autumn, come back,” I hear Wayne say as he comes trotting over.
Realization sets in and I see Jackson flush with embarrassment as well. He mumbles something and walks away.
I turn to Autumn. “What are you doing here? What’s going on?”
Wayne removes his glasses and pinches the bridge of his nose. “I think this is a Big Daddy’s kind of night.” Big Daddy’s—an old, greasy diner that never closes—is our favorite place to eat during times of stress or inebriation.
I nod and look past Wayne’s shoulder at Jackson. He says something to Chris and turns back to look at me once more. We lock eyes for a few seconds then he runs his hand through his hair and grabs his coat, leaving.
Awhile later, I am sharing a booth at Big Daddy’s with Autumn and Wayne.
We’ve been sitting here for an hour now, eating fries and listening to Autumn cry about John. From what I can gather, tonight had started out as a perfect evening. John had given her a dozen red roses, taken her to a fancy restaurant, and been a complete gentleman the entire time. Later, he had taken her to a popular lounge for drinks and dancing, and that was apparently where the trouble began. Autumn had questioned his commitment and John had confessed that he was still actively dating other women from Chat Love. Poor Autumn had been crushed, because she’d assumed that they were in a committed relationship and had therefore stopped pursuing other options.
As I take another bite of my veggie burger, I watch Autumn nibble a fry in between sobs. She’s already had macaroni and cheese and chicken tenders, and she’s currently working on a cheeseburger. If I were in her shoes, I’d be eating everything in sight, so I’m not judging.
“I have been exercising and dieting nonstop for these men and look where it gets me,” Autumn says as she shoves more fries in her mouth.
“Autumn, have you considered that you might be overreacting a bit?” I ask. She responds with a silent glare as another fistful of fries disappears into her mouth. I quickly add, “I’m just saying that maybe you’re being too hard on John, if the two of you never officially defined anything as being exclusive.”
She shakes her head. “No, John is the typical man; he’s just like the rest of them. They’re all just interested in Chat Love because it allows them to simply scroll through and pick whichever woman they’d like to toy with next, without having to do any actual work.” She looks at Wayne and adds, “No offense.”
He puts his hands up, indicating that he understands her point.
Autumn takes a bite of her burger, talking with her mouth full, “I thought John was the one. I’d already picked out my wedding invitations and everything.”
I groan. “Autumn, I’m going to be honest with you. You always set yourself up for heartbreak. I think you were rushing into things, a bit. You only went out with one person from the site, and didn’t bother to meet anyone else. Isn’t the site designed to help you meet other people?”
She wipes a tear. “No, you’re supposed to find love, and that’s what I thought I’d found with John. I thought he felt the same way, but he said he still wants to see what else is out there, to make sure I’m actually the one for him.”
I rub her back while she starts eating some ice cream the waiter brought by. Lately, this has been a pattern. Wayne, Autumn, and I usually end up hanging out together after we finish a night out with the rest of the group. Danni, Corey, and Ian are our polar opposites: the three of them usually end up finding someone to spend the night with, while the three of us find a place to eat and complain about our loneliness.
Autumn suddenly exclaims, “I’m just so sick of being alone! When am I going to find my husband? That’s all I want!” She starts crying again, still shoving fries into her mouth.
While I continue trying to console my weeping, feasting friend, my thoughts return to Jackson and what happened between us. How will I be able to face him at work? I’m not sure if he’ll mention it or pretend that nothing happened, although I have a sneaking suspicion that it will be the latter. I decide that it will be best to just call in sick on Monday and give myself another day to think. I deserve a day off every now and then, anyway. Yes, I’m a chicken.
Even though I’m uneasy about the idea, I decide to go to work on Monday. Just as I predicted, Jackson chooses to ignore me and pretend like nothing out of the ordinary had happened. As soon as he makes one of his normal half-assed remarks about a guest I’ve booked, I feel a wave of relief wash over me. He’s being his normal rude self, confirming that the alcohol was definitely doing the talking over the weekend. Thankfully, this means that it will be just another day.
On Thursday night I am enjoying dinner with Danni and Autumn. Several days have gone by since my incident with Jackson, and he hasn’t mentioned it once. I’m confused, but also somewhat relieved. For the last hour, Danni has provided a perfect distraction by talking about her recent experiences in bed with Chris.
Although the conversation is juicy, I find myself drowning it out, lost in thought. Tomorrow marks the first of my Chat Love dates, and I’m more nervous than I thought I’d be. I’m shaken from my thoughts when I hear Danni mention Jackson.
“You know, Jackson is also very attractive. I honestly wouldn’t mind seeing how he is in bed, too,” she says, giving Autumn a wink.
Halfheartedly, I respond, “You should go for it.”
Danni rolls her eyes, “Lu, the two of you were practically going at it on my wall. It’s obvious that you’re interested in him.”
Autumn’s eyes go wide and she looks at me, expecting answers. I’d purposely chosen to avoid telling her about what had happened at Danni’s party because I didn’t want to hear a lecture about how I should stay away from Jackson.
I roll my eyes. “Danni, you know that it was just the alcohol talking. We were drunk and lonely, nothing more. I wouldn’t ever get involved with that pig!”
Danni nods her head, “Fair enough. He and Chris are both notorious for avoiding commitment.”
Autumn grabs my arm, forcing me to turn and look at her.
“You should stay away from him, Lu,” she says, frowning. “You are looking for a relationship now, and the last thing you need is to be distracted by a man like that.”
Danni shrugs. “I disagree. I think Lu needs to get laid; it’ll loosen her up. Just go and have a one-time thing with Jackson to satisfy your curiosity. Then come and tell me if he is as good as he looks.”