Cheesie Mack Is Not a Genius or Anything

BOOK: Cheesie Mack Is Not a Genius or Anything
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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Text copyright © 2011 by Stephen L. Cotler

All rights reserved. Published in the United States by Random House Children’s Books, a division of Random House, Inc., New York.

Random House and the colophon are registered trademarks of Random House, Inc.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Cotler, Stephen L.
Cheesie Mack is not a genius or anything / Stephen L. Cotler ; illustrated by Adam McCauley.
—1st ed.
p. cm. —(#1)
Summary: Ronald “Cheesie” Mack relates events he and his best friend, Georgie, experience as fifth grade comes to an end and their summer plans are drastically changed, due in part to an old, possibly valuable coin that may belong to the mysterious inhabitant of a place they call The Haunted Toad.
eISBN: 978-0-375-89570-8

[1. Friendship—Fiction. 2. Coins—Fiction. 3. Lost and found possessions—Fiction. 4. Conduct of life—Fiction. 5. Recluses—Fiction. 6. Family life—Massachusetts—Fiction. 7. Massachusetts—Fiction.] I. McCauley, Adam, ill. II. Title.
PZ7.C82862Che 2011


Random House Children’s Books supports the First Amendment and celebrates the right to read.


The Story Is Over

his is the end of the book.

It was about a mysterious old coin, an evil sister (mine), a dead sister (not mine), runaway rodents, a super-best friend, a fifth-grade graduation disaster, some really unusual words (including a few I made up), and The Haunted Toad.

I wrote it. I’m Ronald Mack. People call me Cheesie. You can probably guess why.

I love mac ’n’ cheese, but I almost never eat it anymore, because if I do, someone always says, “Cheesie Mack eats mac ’n’ cheese!” And I’ve heard that two million times.

My name is in the title of this book because it’s about stuff that happened to me, Cheesie Mack.

You probably noticed that this is Chapter 0. That’s because I already wrote the whole story that comes after this. It begins in
Chapter 1
. I started writing a couple of days after fifth grade ended and have been at it nonstop ever since. And now I am writing this chapter last even though you’re reading it first.

Everything in this book is true. I did not make anything up. I’m definitely not a genius or anything, but I remember all the details because I was there when everything happened. And if you’re a kid like me who has adventures, there are going to be lots of details to remember. Details about stuff like:

  1. Abraham Lincoln’s head
  2. The Point Battle
  3. The Mouse Plot
  4. Lawbreaking zoom chucklers
  5. Ee-Gorg and Doctor Cheez
  6. The letters
    V, D
    , and

This adventure started the day before the last day of fifth grade. I hope you like it. If you don’t or do or whatever, please go to my website and tell me.


Ronald “Cheesie” Mack (age 10 years and 10 months)

My Boring Graduation Ceremony

shall now scrape the burnt flesh,” I said.

“Gross!” said my older sister, June.

We were in my backyard finishing dinner. My dad, my mom, and my grandfather were relaxing at the picnic table. I was cleaning the barbecue. That’s one of my chores. Cleaning charred chicken chunks off the grill is greasy work, but I don’t mind, especially if I can bug my sister while I do it.

I scraped the wire brush back and forth across the grill while sipping my second can of cream soda, which IMO does not taste a bit like cream.

“We should not cook anything that has a face,” June said, piling dishes on a tray. She’s a vegetarian. “So that means that we
cook you because the ugly
blob on the top of your neck is definitely not a face.”

My mother gave June a stop-it look, but June continued. “There are, however, those huge flappers sticking out from the side of the blob—”

“Enough!” Mom said.

Okay, so my ears stick out. I don’t care. I won that one. One point for Cheesie. And that is the last time I am going to talk about my ears in this book.

BOOK: Cheesie Mack Is Not a Genius or Anything
2.79Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub

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