Chelynne (42 page)

“Nothing of that sort, I assure you. But you’ll favor a new treatment from your courtly friends. I should think they will leave off forcing their affections.”

“I hadn’t thought to pay such a price,” she murmured.

“I’m afraid you’ll have to accept something here and now, Chelynne, for your own peace of mind. John Bollering used you as his excuse for a fight he’d been wanting. As you might have guessed, it was not the first time we’ve had differences. In all actuality it had nothing to do with his or my affection for you. I can bear the insult of another man touching what is mine, without killing him. I met him because he insisted; that is the only reason.”

“Then you would not have met him for my honor?”

“I’m afraid not.”

“That is the answer I expected,” she said softly.

“You are a very guilty woman, madam. You are guilty of judging harshly and without much cause. I would protect you in any circumstances. I would kill any man to prevent him from abusing you, from using you against your will. But I am not a fool. I would not seek to rid you of the lover of your choice by the sword. I know better than to think that would gain me favor with you. Do you understand?”

“He was no lover of mine.”

“And he was not killed because I thought he was. He was killed because in his foolishness he sought death, or victory, for—” Chad’s voice had a harsh tone that had become louder and louder as he explained. He checked himself, then calmed his tone and went on in a more dignified manner. “For old causes that were not worth the price.”

“What causes? By my word, Chadwick, I understand nothing of this!”

“That is all I am prepared to say, Chelynne. Understand this: he was not killed for the reasons you think. Whether or not you had gone with him to his lodgings, he would have found a way to battle this out. He was determined.”

She opened her mouth as if to speak but a knock at her husband’s door held her silent. Chad called out his consent to enter, and Bestel came hesitantly into the room. He noticed Chelynne and addressed her reluctantly.

“There is a caller, madam. For you.”

“Who calls at such an hour?” she asked quizzically.

“Manservant to your uncle, my lady.”

“Then they’ve arrived at last,” she cried, not concerning herself with Bestel’s formal announcement. To her this was like a lifeboat in a storm, at precisely the time she needed something like this, something like her uncle’s dauntless love to give her ease and confidence again. “Excuse me, Chad. I’ll see him at once.” She whirled and was gone, excitement in her quick step and happiness lighting the features that a moment ago were confused, sad.

Bestel looked at his lord, a cloud of doubt crossing his eyes. “He brings the mum bad news,” he said simply. Chad rose and followed. At the bottom of the stairs Chelynne had only just faced Gordon.

“Has Lord Mondeloy just arrived?”

Gordon was uneasy. He looked between the earl and the young lass he had watched grow up. “Last night, my lady, but—”

“How grand! Where are they? When may I call?”

“My lady, Lord Mondeloy shouldn’t have made the trip. He was ill and...and we had to stop several times. He insisted on pressing his health, determined about some business here...and would not return to Welbering as he should have.”

“Is Uncle Sheldon ill? May I go to him now?” Gordon looked helplessly at Chad, his face twisting with pain. “What is it?” she demanded.

“In the night, madam, when we’d only just arrived...He’s dead, my lady.”

Chelynne swayed slightly, taking a step back, and Chad instinctively moved up behind her to give aid if necessary. Her hand began a journey to her mouth to stifle her cry of grief, but there came no sound. Instead, both hands returned to her sides and her fists clenched. There was a movement from her, but so slight it was almost unnoticeable. Her eyelids were pinched closed. She was reaching deeply within herself for strength.

For Chad this stirred a memory. It had been a day of battle when he was suddenly aware of all the cruelty that existed on earth. He remembered thinking that he hoped the men he slew had believed in God; how frightening to think he would send a man to Hell. He could not remember the exact moment or the particular crisis, but there had been a time when he had decided that he must endure and accept this agony of living or simply lie down and die.

Now, watching his young wife, he knew that she had come to that same position, though the circumstances were very different. This must be the very grimmest moment of her life. She would have to be strong, endure and accept this or give up.

“Do you know the cause?” she asked.

“Nay. It was not swift. He had been ill.”

“Are arrangements being made?”

“Aye, Lady Mondeloy and Ha—Lord Mondeloy will have everything done. Service for His Lordship in the city and then to Welbering to the family cemetery.”

She nodded and looked to her husband. There was sympathy in his eyes but she was not looking for that. She could not think beyond control now. There was absolutely nothing anyone could give her. “I will go to Lady Eleanor now, my lord, with your permission.”

“Of course.”

“Will you wait for me, Gordon?”

“I’ll take you there, madam,” he returned with a slight bow.

Chad gave her a moment alone in her room before going in. She had little to do to make ready. He entered then, this time knocking first.

“Should you like me to accompany you?”

“It’s kind of you to offer,” she said somewhat blankly. “But this time I would like to go alone. My family may have need of me.”

“I would not consider it an imposition, Chelynne. I would be happy to lend my support.”

She did not respond to that statement. “I shall go to Welbering.”

“Then I will make ready.”

“No, Chadwick. This, too, I do alone.”

“The roads are not safe. I shouldn’t let you go without—”

“Hire horsemen, then, if you wish. My purpose is not to aid my aunt or cousin. Indeed, they will not likely be pleased with my presence. I was not well loved by any but Sheldon. I would like to go through the house to see if there is anything left of my parents before Harry or Eleanor destroys anything I have right to out of cruelty.”

“You think them capable of something that low?” he asked incredulously.

With amazing calm she faced him. “I have no delusion about their affection for me. Yes, Harry has done that very thing in the past with no other motive save causing me grief. Lady Eleanor is much like her son in her lack of compassion.”

“I could go and lend my support there as well.”

“There are times,” she said with an air of melancholy, distant and somewhat detached, as if she were speaking for someone else, as if she had no feeling. Her voice drifted away for a moment and then drifted back in the lifeless tone. “There are some times, some things that one must do without aid or counsel. I pray you try to understand my circumstance. He...he was my only living kin, and is now gone. There is a task at hand and grief. Both of those I consider private now.” Her eyes went up to his and she spoke quickly. “I will take great care and return to you swiftly.”

There was a kind of command in her words, but that was not what persuaded Chad to give his consent. It was a decision on her part that was important to her maturing, and one that brought back memories of the time when he took the matter of his own life into his own hands and denied interference. It was important and necessary to her. Having been there himself, he couldn’t deny another the time of seeking and finding—not even one who was sworn to dependence on him by law.

He put his hands on her shoulders and stared into her eyes. “Times have not been the best between us, Chelynne. I am a hard man, and I know that about myself. From now, if you need me, come to me. I am at your call.”

He wished she could see this as a great sacrifice, the beginning of something. But she only mumbled, “You’re very kind, my lord.”

It had been Gordon’s intention to drive Her Ladyship to the Mondeloy residence, but Chelynne coaxed him into her own coach, leaving his behind, so they could talk during the ride. She faced Gordon with a commanding air and spoke quickly and in hushed tones. The discussion was brief and the servant only nodded. He neither questioned nor argued.

The body of the baron did lie in state and there was a service in London. Finally the priest said his words over that sad corpse and blessed the passing. Chelynne sat with her husband or stood at his side during the tiresome affair of death and mourning. Many nobles attended, the funeral being as much a social affair as a ball—to be seen, if the queen was; to be present, if others of importance were. Sheldon was not well known or greatly missed, but it was like other things at court, very much a matter of appearances. And it was typical of Eleanor, pompous and extravagant. In their black with heavy veils the women were not known but by escort, and their grief was announced by the color and sternness of their garb.

Chelynne was not moved by any of this display. She had come to loathe the pomp and ceremony with which the slightest daily habit was treated. The black couldn’t show her grief as acutely as she felt it. She couldn’t rend her clothes or tear her hair to mourn her uncle properly. The ache in her heart was the only true grief, and it was a thing she could neither share nor display.

The family separated as they made ready to depart for Welbering. Chad insisted on sending his own men, more than a score, to ride with the Mondeloy party. They had gone ahead to prepare to ride escort once Chelynne’s coach joined Eleanor’s. The Hawthorne coach was readied and parcels were loaded. Summer was tethered to the rear.

Stella, Tanya and Chelynne stood ready to board when Chad lifted his wife’s veil to place a farewell kiss on her brow. Chelynne didn’t notice the worry that was as plain as the nose on his face.

“You’re sure you don’t want me to attend you?”

“I’m sure. We’ll take care.”

“Chelynne,” he began, uncertain. “Chelynne, if you’re sure Harry wishes you ill, keep an eye turned to him. Don’t let him—”

She placed a hand on his arm and smiled. “Harry is troublesome, to be sure, but he is not smart. I will keep careful watch.”

“The men I’ve sent are ordered to do your bidding. If you need their aid, even to protect you from your own kin, they will do as you command them.”

Chelynne smiled, and had turned to enter the coach when Chad stopped her by pulling at her arm. “You will not stay long?”

“I should like to ride about Sheldon’s lands and for that I take Summer. I’ve come to cherish her. I will visit some of the people there I have known since childhood, but I will not overstay.”

“Chelynne...take special care. And hurry home.”

“Soon,” she said simply, ready to leave.

Chad held onto the door of the coach, reluctant to have her go. He had an ill feeling about this trip she was so set on. “Chelynne...if you need me...”

Again, she failed to see this as offer of a commitment, a reconciliation. “Thank you, my lord.”

The coach pulled away from the earl of Bryant. The shades were pulled tight, allowing no interference to enter from without, no secrets to leave from within. They were to join the retinue traveling to Welbering and make their long, tiresome journey to see Lord Mondeloy laid to rest on his own property.

But they had barely started moving when Chelynne threw up her veil and moved to the edge of the seat so that Stella could unfasten her. “Hurry, Tanya,” she urged.

The servant girl eased out of her own dress with haste and in just moments the two had exchanged clothing. “Lady Mondeloy will be much upset when she arrives home,” Chelynne mumbled without much concern.

A black garter could be seen on Chelynne’s thigh as she quickly disrobed. A few quick stitches the night before had made it a handy place to carry a pearl-handled knife. “Guard yourself, sweetheart,” Stella murmured. The coach stopped and Chelynne turned her back to her woman so she could fasten the last remaining hooks.

“Tanya, don’t lift your veil, not even when you stop to eat. Stella will carry food in the coach and you can have your meals in private at the inns. Don’t let them suspect it is not me. Take care.”

She placed a quick kiss on Stella’s cheek and patted Tanya’s hand. When she climbed out of the coach, Gordon was standing beside the two mounts that had been hurriedly saddled. Without a word she was given a lift up and they started on their way, two riders alone, a mature man in simple garb and a young woman in a heavy, functional dress—average English personages traveling, nothing more.

The first stop was some six hours down the road. Here a groom had been paid no small amount to secure their horses for the return trip and provide them with fresh mounts. Chelynne was intent on speed for this excursion. So much so, that she could hardly be persuaded to sit and sup. Her young body was taut with nervous energy, strong in her purpose. She thought constantly of the possibility that Harry or Eleanor would discover her deception and hasten their own journey to prevent her from combing the house.

And that was perhaps the strangest thing of all. She had no idea for what she was looking or why she was driven so. She had nothing but suspicion where her family was concerned, and she couldn’t ignore it. Sheldon had lied about what of her parents remained, though she understood that he meant only to protect her. But there had been the letter...and perhaps there was something more.