Chemistry of Desire (8 page)

E
mily was full of mixed emotions after Todd left the house. She was adult enough to pretend that everything was okay until the guests left and everyone had gone to bed, but she was plenty salty. She didn’t like what Todd had said to her. She was pissed that he’d had the gall to bring up Jared, and she was mad that he had to leave before they could finish arguing. And she was also furiously angry that he’d kissed her, because his lips had lit her up like a blazing fire on a cold night. After he told her that he’d made a mistake in sleeping with her, he had the unmitigated gall to put his hands on her as if they belonged there. And her traitorous body
had no better sense than to respond. She, in the words of her dearly loved late grandmother, didn’t know whether to wind her ass or scratch her watch.

She took a hot shower and put on a pretty purple nightdress. It was part of the Sherri and Alexis shopping spree, and normally it made her feel happy and sexy. It wasn’t working for her tonight. She had parted her hair and wrapped it the way Alexis had taught her, and she was about to tie a silk scarf over it when she heard a soft tap on the door. It was Ayanna.

“Just wanted to make sure you had everything you needed,” she said, sitting on the side of the big bed. “And I hope Todd didn’t upset you. By the way, I’m loving that gown. Where did you get it?”

“Sherri took me shopping after Alexis did my hair.” Emily twirled around to show off the silky perfection of the gown with its spaghetti straps and lace bodice. “Look at the other stuff she helped me pick out.” She opened the closet door and pulled open the dresser drawers to show off her new clothes.

Ayanna admired the outfits with envy in her voice. “Girl, these things are gorgeous! If I wasn’t so short I’d make off with that black pencil skirt. And the cashmere sweater that goes with it. And that red dress! You do have good taste.”

“No, I have a
friend
with good taste,” Emily
corrected her. “And she knows where to shop, too. We wore T.J. Maxx out!”

Ayanna laughed and offered her hand for a fist bump. “I love that place. We’ll have to go there while you’re here.” She was holding a silk blouse up to her chest and admiring it in the mirror. “So what brought this about, sister? I mean the big change. You look fabulous, just wonderful,” she said hastily. “But what was the impetus for the big reveal?”

“Reveal?” Emily looked puzzled.

“Yes, a
reveal,
” Ayanna said emphatically. “Your inside is showing for a change. You look as beautiful outside as you are inside.”

Emily’s face got hot, as it always did when she blushed. She’d been so combative with her sister for so long it was still hard for her to believe that the walls between them had finally come down.
The walls I put there,
she thought.

“Thank you, Ayanna. I just thought it was time for a change.” She sat on the bed, across from Ayanna.

“Well, you look just wonderful. Everyone said so.”

Emily made a face as she smoothed moisturizer on her face and neck. “Not everyone. I think Todd was quite explicit in expressing his opinion,” she said grouchily.

Ayanna held out her hand for the small jar of
cream and used a little on her face. “Men are truly an underdeveloped species when it comes to expressing themselves properly. Don’t pay him any mind, honey. He was knocked out by your new look and lost the connection between his brain and his big mouth.”

Emily shrugged her shoulders. “It doesn’t really matter what he thinks of my appearance. He already told me that he’d made a huge mistake in getting with me, so I’m not surprised that he thought I looked bad.”

“What do you mean, getting with you?” Ayanna’s eyes narrowed, and she looked ready to fight for her younger sister.

“Crap. I didn’t mean to tell you this, but here’s the short version.” Emily sighed and launched into a terse narrative of the days she’d spent with Todd on Hilton Head. “And then he said he’d made a mistake and he left there like the hounds of hell were after him.”

Ayanna’s face had changed expressions several times while Emily was talking. She looked both angry and puzzled. “Are you serious? He just left and you never heard from him again?”

“Not exactly,” Emily said. “He called me a few times and he sent me a bunch of plants, but I know a consolation prize when I see one, and I’d heard enough of his miserable excuses, so I didn’t answer his calls. I prefer a clean break.”

“Plants and phone calls, hmm?” Ayanna was tapping her chin with one finger.

“Yes, and emails, which I also ignored.”

“Emmie, hon, I think there’s been a huge miscommunication going on here. I think Todd has some real feelings for you and you haven’t let him express them.”

“I think he expressed himself quite nicely tonight. ‘What have you done to yourself’—that’s pretty darned expressive if you ask me.”

“I didn’t say he was good at speaking from his heart. Most men suck at it. But look, he went out to the airport to pick you up,” she pointed out.

“Oh yeah, he was more than happy to tell me that. He said he saw me talking to a guy and he had no idea it was me. Real flattering,” Emily sneered.

“What guy? Is he nice?” Ayanna was immediately curious.

“Very nice guy,” Emily said confidently. “I met him on the plane. He lives in Chicago but he’s moving to Columbia to open a new restaurant. His name is Jared Van Buren and I’m having lunch with him tomorrow.”

“Where? At Van Buren’s or 515?”

“At Van Buren’s. Have you eaten there? How’s the food?” Emily wanted to know.

“We’ve eaten at both of his restaurants and everything is fantastic. I mean ultra, ultra good.
Yum. And he’s quite a dish, too. He’s a very hot commodity these days. He’s tall, handsome and rich, and he’s straight and he can cook. He’s even compassionate. He has some kind of program where he feeds people who are in need of a meal. And you met him on a plane. Go figure.” Ayanna gave her sister a wicked grin and a little fist bump. “Women all over Chicago are trying to meet him and you stumble over him on a freakin’ plane. I love it.” She thought for a moment and laughed.

“That’s why Todd had his boxers in a bunch. He saw you with that good-looking hunk and he got jealous! That’s why he was being a jerk,” she informed Emily.

“And he did a bang-up job. First-rate,” she added with a big yawn.

Ayanna yawned back, and they agreed it was time for sleep. But Ayanna, like older sisters the world over, had to have the last word. “Don’t be too hard on Todd, Emmie. He’s a good man. He really is. You remember when Alex was sick with MRSA and how good he was to us through that whole ordeal. He’s a wonderful guy. Give him a chance and you’ll see.”

Emily rolled her eyes at her sister’s back as she left the room.
Yeah, I’ll see how it feels for him to make a fool out of me again. No thanks, I’ll pass,
she thought as she gave her pillows an extra hard punch before turning out the table lamp.

The sky was blue, the sun was shining and the temperature was cold and crisp. Emily, despite having a long, tortuous night of erotic dreams about the wonderful good guy Todd, at least looked as if she was well rested even though she wasn’t. An energetic run through the neighborhood and a nice hot shower could put a glow on anybody’s skin, even if that person was nursing a grudge. And she was mature enough to acknowledge that she was still harboring a big ol’ chunk of resentment. She wasn’t quite sure what she’d been expecting when she encountered Todd with her new hair, new clothes and new attitude, but his hostile appraisal had stung. The plan was for him to see her, realize what a fool he’d been and spend the rest of his life regretting his stupidity. He wasn’t supposed to look at her with scorn and then have the big brass
cojones
to kiss her and then walk out on her. As far as her responding to his kiss and dreaming about him all night, well, that just made the whole episode a giant “fail.”

But she did have some consolations, she mused as she finished putting on her makeup. She’d met Jared, who was great-looking, personable and who was treating her to lunch at his restaurant. That would be fun; Emily liked eating at new places. Her mother and sister were proud of her, and she felt closer to them than ever, which was great. And
it was almost her birthday, too. Lucie and Ayanna had cooked up some kind of celebration for her, and even though they weren’t giving out details, she knew it would be fun. So there was no reason at all for her to be concerned about Dr. Todd Wainwright.

She went downstairs in full battle dress; charcoal-gray wide-legged, wool trousers, ankle boots with three-inch heels, a cream-colored cashmere sweater with a wide belt to show off her waist and big silver hoop earrings with a wide silver cuff bracelet. She picked up a very thin wool stole with a woven pattern in camel and gray and went downstairs to get her coat, as well as a final inspection. Sure enough, Lucie and Ayanna stopped whatever they’d been doing in the kitchen to come see her off.

“Perfect! Your friend Jared is going to be dazzled,” Lucie said.

“Thanks, Mom. Ayanna, are you sure about me taking your car? I can take a cab,” Emily offered again.

“Girl, please. Don’t even worry about it. It has GPS, so you can’t get lost. Have a good time and bring us some dessert.” Ayanna grinned.

“Of course I will,” Emily said. “I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”

“Take your time, sweetie. If you do get lost, you can call Todd. That restaurant isn’t too far from
where he lives. And his hospital is near there, too,” Lucie said innocently.

Emily folded the shawl in half and made a chic loop around her neck the way Sherri had showed her. “I’m sure I won’t get lost, Mom. And if I do, I’ll call Jared,” she drawled. She took the car keys from Ayanna and laughed at the expression on Lucie’s face as she left the house.

Ayanna poked her mother in the arm. “Mama, I told you to lay off the Todd thing. She’s a little salty with him right now.”

“I know, but I’ve got to look out for the poor man. I really think he’s crazy about her. It’s not his fault that he’s a little emotionally, um, slow.” They looked at each other and burst out laughing.

Todd wasn’t a happy man. He was still smarting over his idiocy from the night before, and he hadn’t decided how to achieve a return to Emily’s good graces. Plus, he was horny as hell. Any normal man would be in the same condition if he’d had to suffer through the sizzling dreams Todd had endured all night. From a scientific viewpoint he knew that the most vivid parts of his dreams had lasted only a few minutes, but those minutes were imprinted on his brain and wreaking havoc with his body. He’d had the cold shower, he’d worked out his aggressions on the treadmill and other exercise equipment, and it hadn’t done a bit of
good. He wasn’t feeling any better about his situation.

Deciding that food might help, he went to the kitchen area of his loft. The place had been pretty generic when he bought it, but his sister-in-law, Billie, had hooked it up for him. She’d been a high-fashion model, but she’d traded the runway for a contractor’s license, and her skills were exceptional. He opened his fancy rubbed-bronze refrigerator and stared at the contents. He decided to make an omelet, despite the fact that he hadn’t made one since he left Hilton Head. Cooking for Emily had been very enjoyable, before he screwed everything up.

It wasn’t as if he’d done it deliberately; he’d used an extremely poor choice of words to tell Emily that he shouldn’t have rushed into making love with her. What he was trying to convey was that he wanted them to have a real relationship, one that wasn’t fueled purely by sex, even though the sex they’d shared was hot, wild and satisfying. He’d been trying to say that he was falling in love with her and that she deserved all of him. He wanted to share more than his body with her; he wanted to share everything, getting to know her the way a man knows the woman he wants to be with forever.

“But that’s not what I said,” he said aloud. “What I said was ‘this is a mistake.’ No, a
huge
mistake, that’s what
I
said. Good move, Wainwright—real smooth.” Talking to himself was a habit he’d developed in med school, a habit he indulged in only when he was frustrated and stressed out. Being a trauma physician in the biggest E.R. in Chicago was more than enough stress on a daily basis; adding Emily to the mix was a little too much.

“I’m supposed to be better than that, yet I manage to put my foot in it so tough that Emily will probably hate me forever. She was already mad at me, and when I finally see her face-to-face I piss her off all over again,” he said angrily as he beat the eggs so hard they almost cried out for mercy.

“Okay, so I was surprised when I saw her because she looked different. But did I have to ask her what the hell she did to herself? That was just stupid.”

Emily had looked like a different woman, so much so that he hadn’t recognized her at the airport. It was a shock, but it wasn’t a bad one; quite the opposite, actually. He’d had an immediate physical response to her new appearance, which made him defensive, especially when he remembered seeing her at O’Hare with a strange man drooling all over her. The image of her smiling up at that jackass, whoever he was, flashed into Todd’s head and made him add a few choice words
of profanity to his monologue. The sound of his doorbell distracted him; who the hell was dropping in on him out of the blue?

He went to the door in his jeans and bare feet. He hadn’t bothered to put on a shirt, and whoever the hell it was would have to take him as he was. He didn’t really appreciate uninvited visitors. When he looked through the peephole in the big door, his mood didn’t improve. It was Cecily, a pretty little airhead he’d stopped seeing months ago. He opened the door and gave her a less-than-pleasant look.

“How did you get in here without me buzzing you in? And why are you here anyway?” He was being rude and he knew it, but it probably went right over Cecily’s pretty little head. That was no reason to be deliberately nasty, however. Despite her silliness, Cecily was a good person and she didn’t deserve to be verbally abused.