Cherished (26 page)

“I know. It's been hard for me, too, knowing how you felt. I can totally understand.”

“But that doesn't make it right. I'm sorry for giving you a hard time about helping her. I know you. You wouldn't have done it unless you were convinced God wanted you to.” She shook her head. “But what really got me about ‘me' was thinking I was better than she was. Boy, did it sting when God showed me I'm as much a sinner as she is, that we both need a Savior.” She paused. “I was able to forgive her, Cyd, just like you said. I had to call you right after that breakthrough.”

“Dana, wow.” Cyd got up and embraced her. “I'm so happy for you. I know it was hard. No one should have to go through what you went through. But forgiveness is so huge. What's that old saying? ‘We're most like God when we forgive.'”

“Hmm.” Dana pondered it. “I love that.”

Cyd sat down again. “So . . . now might be a good time to give you my news.”

“What news?”

A huge smile lighted Cyd's face. “I'm pregnant. Cedric and I are going to have a baby.”

“What?”
Dana covered her mouth and looked around, embarrassed by her own volume. She leaned in and said it again in a whisper. “What? How far along? When did you find out?”

“Not sure how far along because I haven't been to the doctor yet, but I'm guessing six weeks or so. Found out on Monday.”

“But we were all at dinner on Tuesday. Why didn't you say anything?”

Cyd gave a light shrug. “I had planned to.”

“But I got an attitude and walked out. Wonderful. Ruined your big moment.”

“No big deal,” Cyd said. “But it would've
really
been a problem if I had to go through this whole pregnancy without Aunt Dana in the mix.”

“Oh no, sweetie. We've waited much too long for this. Maybe that's another reason God shook me up, so I'd get a clue about what I was missing out on.
You're having a baby!
”

Dana got up this time to give Cyd a hug, tears springing to her eyes. “All those conversations we had through the years, wondering if God would send you a husband, whether you'd ever have a child. I'm just . . . wow, wow, wow.” She laughed. “You will be an awesome momma.”

“Thank you.” Cyd had a sigh in her voice as they took their seats. “Pray for me, though. I'm worried about the age thing. Cedric said we need to trust God, and of course he's right. But every time I get a little excited, I get this warning that nothing's guaranteed. Something could go wrong. So I shouldn't get too happy until the baby's actually here.”

“Oh, Cyd. I hate that I haven't been praying for you about this. I'm getting the ladies together for a DF prayer-and-praise celebration. We're going to pray over you and the baby and praise God for this blessing He's given you and Cedric. And we're praying those worry thoughts away. This should be a time of joy!”

Now Cyd had tears in her eyes, and a memory surfaced. “Remember when I was leaving for grad school?”

Dana nodded big. “And you were sad because we'd been together for middle school, high school, and college—”

“And I said it would never be the same, that we'd grow apart.”

“And what did I say?” Dana asked.

Cyd smiled. “That I'd been accepted into Harvard, and it should be a time of joy.”

Dana nodded again. “And God would take care of the friendship. Seems to me He did.”

“To this very day.”

Dana eyed her friend suddenly. “Did you eat before you left the house?”

“No.”

“You might've been able to go to church with nothing in your stomach in the past, but that's not gonna work now.” Dana rose from her seat. “Be right back.”

“Where're you going?”

“To get a whole grain bagel. Baby needs nourishment.” Dana got back in line.

Cyd rubbed her stomach. This would probably be the longest nine months she'd ever experienced, but she needed to stop thinking she had to hold her breath the entire time. Right now a baby was growing inside of her, a baby God was molding and shaping. Dana was right. She should actually enjoy the process.

But the thought made her a little sad too. She realized that with the pregnancy, she had a slight window into Kelli's pain, her feeling of loss. As she caressed her own tummy, she prayed right there for Kelli and for the song she and Brian had recorded, that it would bring healing and hope to those who would hear it.

twenty-three

K
ELLI FELT STRANGELY GLAD TO SEE
B
RIAN AT CHURCH.
She knew he'd be gone Friday, with Monica—though she didn't know where—but she'd expected to hear from him on Saturday. She'd been looking forward to sharing her newest song idea, the love letter to young men. At the rate they'd been collaborating, they might've been able to knock it out by evening. But he didn't call, and when she texted him after the Bible study with Cyd, she didn't hear back then either, which wasn't like him.

But there he was now in the back of the sanctuary, among the crowd heading to their seats.

“Girl, go get him,” Stephanie said. “I don't know why he doesn't just come over here.”

“I'm supposed to walk back there?”

“Yes, let him know he's welcome. It's the Christianly thing to do.”

Kelli smirked at her. She wasn't opposed to Brian sitting with them, but she didn't want to go out of her way to invite him either. “Looks like I won't have to.”

Cyd and Dana had come in and were talking to him.

“Thank God.” Phyllis was on Kelli's other side. “I was really praying for those two after that dinner at Maggiano's. Good to see them smiling together.”

Cyd and Dana started down the aisle, with Brian in tow. When they got to the pew, everyone stood and did a pew version of musical chairs. Cyd moved in next to Cedric. Dana walked further down to sit next to Scott. And space suddenly appeared between Kelli and Stephanie.

Brian filled it. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

Brian eyed her. “How was your weekend?”

“Good. How was yours?”

Brian nodded. “Real good, actually.”

Kelli wanted to roll her eyes.
Probably spent Saturday with Monica too
. But why should she care?

Logan and the praise and worship team walked out on the platform, and the band launched into the first song. The congregation came to its feet.

Brian leaned over. “I didn't get your text until late last night. Sorry.”

“No problem.”

It was his album. If he could afford to lose a working day, that was his business. She'd never seen him ignore his phone for long stretches, though. Must've been totally preoccupied.

Brian allowed the worship music to consume him. He didn't whisper another word. With hands raised, he sang the song in a low voice, eyes mostly closed, yet he knew all the words. Kelli told herself to stop peeping at him. She got lost in the praise herself and practically forgot Brian until they sat down for announcements . . . and fell into an old habit.

Brian started it, asking if she had a pen. He drew a tic-tac-toe board on the back of the program and passed it to her. Without a word, she got another pen and filled in her X in the middle. He did his corner O, and they finished four boards without a winner. Brian drew a fresh board as an announcement was made about the young men's ministry. He paused and looked up front to catch it.

“So the new website will feature real stories of choices young men have made. If you'd like to submit your story for consideration, please send your e-mail to Kelli London at the address in the program.”

Brian looked at Kelli with surprise and opened the program they'd been using. “You didn't tell me about this. You're working at the church now?”

“Only part-time, in the mornings. I start Tuesday.”

“That should be great experience, Kel. Congrats. And I love what they're doing with this ministry.”

She nodded. “I really hope it makes an impact.”

They tucked the game away during the rest of the service, focusing on Pastor Lyles's sermon and a moving song afterward by the choir, the one Kelli had heard them practicing Thursday evening.

When the service was over, Brian had his eye on Logan. “I have to ask him if he wrote that song. That was incredible.”

“I hadn't thought about that. I'd like to know too.”

Kelli and Brian waited as Logan talked with his bass player and drummer.

“Hey! Good to see you guys,” he said when he saw them.

“I know you're busy between services,” Brian said, “but had to tell you that song was the bomb. Did you write it?”

“I did. Thanks, man.”

“You have a real gift for leading in worship,” Kelli said. “I bet you wrote that song from last Sunday, too, based on Psalm 91. Stayed in my head all week.”

“You two are embarrassing me. Yes, I wrote it, but . . . from what I'm hearing, you're putting together some awesome songs yourselves.”

Kelli smiled. “Let me guess which little bird told you that. Heather?”

Logan smiled in return. “She did. No specifics, just that it's awesome.”

“I'm glad she has you for a friend,” Kelli said.

“She's probably a better friend to me than I am to her. And she helps me feed my inner child. We're going to Six Flags after church.”

Kelli and Brian gave each other a look.

“What?” Logan asked.

Brian had a gleam in his eye. “We used to be Six Flags fools. When I got my first car, Cedric bought us season passes—”

“Best gift ever,” Kelli added.

“—and we'd go even if we only had a couple of hours to ride the Screaming Eagle fifty times.”

“Oh, well there you go.” Logan lifted his hands. “It's a foursome. Screaming Eagle fools unite.”

Brian looked to Kelli. She knew he was remembering her response when he'd asked to go to the Science Center. But this was different. It wouldn't just be her and Brian. She'd have Heather to pal around with as well.

“I think it'll be a lot of fun,” she said. “Let's do it.”

B
RIAN WAS BRIMMING WITH ENTHUSIASM, READY TO
thank God already for answered prayer.

Friday night in the Ozarks had been hard, especially because it caused him to think even more about Kelli and what they
didn't
have. He'd felt defeated all the way back to St. Louis, thinking he'd never have the one woman he cared deeply about, due to his own failures.

Somewhere on that road back, though, a radical notion came to him—unplug for several hours Saturday and pray. Pray about Kelli. Pray about the album. First he thought he'd gone mad. He'd been planning to call Kelli first thing and spend the day in the studio. How could he afford to give up a Saturday, given his deadline? But the urge was insistent, so he went with it, thinking by the end of the day—as a nice bonus—the divine quiet would bring a flood of musical inspiration.

He didn't get that flood, but he got some hope, if only a little. Focusing on God all that time and diving deep into Scripture, reminded him that he didn't need to feel defeated. Nothing was impossible with God, not even the seeming miracle of knitting his and Kelli's hearts back together.

But he sure hadn't expected movement the next morning— sitting with Kelli and her family, making plans to spend the rest of the day at Six Flags. He was almost afraid to get excited, but how could he not? He couldn't wait to go home, get changed, and meet up with her again.

K
ELLI HADN'T RIDDEN A ROLLER COASTER IN YEARS. IT
felt like part of her was reawakening, the carefree side that enjoyed life and made the most of it. She couldn't remember when she'd laughed this hard.

“Heather, seriously, let's ride in the first car this time.” They were at the point in line where they had to choose a lane.

“Uh-uh. Girl, I told you . . . I love roller coasters, but something about the very front makes me nervous. I feel like I'll fall out.”

“I'll sit in front with you.”

Kelli looked at Brian. They'd been at the park two hours, and thus far the pairing on the rides had been Kelli and Heather, Brian and Logan. Heather had even told Kelli she was glad they came, so it wouldn't seem too much like a “couple thing” between her and Logan.

But Kelli had to sit in front at least once. “Let's do it.”

The roller coaster lurched upward with Kelli and Brian in the lead car, pumping their fists and yelling.

Heather and Logan were right behind.

“Truth be told,” Heather yelled, “I'm not crazy about the second car either. I like the comfortable middle.”

Kelli turned around, smiling. “You'll love the thrill. And don't close your eyes.”