Chief Cook and Bottle Washer (19 page)

"I know you are right about the teaching. But
does she have to get hurt all the time? It's such a responsibility
to have a tiny life in your hands." Her words died in her
throat.

"It's okay Emma. I looked around, Sammie Jo
climbed up on a chair and got to it, but she must have dropped it
first because some of it was on the floor. The chair must have
slipped when she tried to get down."

"God Deke, will the accidents ever stop?"
Emma cried out the tears washing over her face uncaring.

"Don't do this Emma. It was just an accident.
It's not your fault. Think of it this way, if it had been Rusty,
Clint, or Jake, would you be blaming them now for not giving her
the candy?"

"No. But I should have known, Deke. I'm her
mother. I should have known. I'm a horrible mother. I've known it
from the start. Maybe her grandparents should take her away from
me," she blurted.

"Grandparents? Take her away? What are you
talking about?"

"Her father's parents, they wanted to-to,"
she stopped because she really wasn't sure what they wanted at this
point. Her mind spun, unable to force the words from her mouth.
What had they wanted? Why had she run away, without knowing for
sure? Why did she think she could handle this, alone? She had to be
crazy.

"To what?" Deke asked glancing at her as he
drove, his expression hard and unrelenting.

Emma broke down, cried aloud. "They wanted to
see her."

"And that's bad?"

"I thought so, at the time, yes. I mean, when
Joel took off I promised–I mean, I decided I wouldn't let him or
his parents have anything to do with Sammie Jo. They didn't deserve
it. Even his parents didn't believe she was his, at first."

Emma realized how this made her appear and
wanted to correct the impression, but the condition of her mind at
this moment made no sense. It was too late for honesty, now. "I
don't know. I only know I can't chance losing her."

"You aren't making much sense Emma." Deke
said, his face screwed up into a frown.

But Emma couldn't talk anymore, couldn't
think. Her fears were swallowing her alive, as she bent down to
kiss and hold the baby close. "It's all right darling. I won't let
anything happen to you again, I promise."

Once they arrived at the hospital, the
emergency crew of nurses and doctors took Sammie Jo. Deke and Emma
were left in the lobby.

Deke settled Emma into a comfortable chair,
while he gave out as much information as he could to the
receptionist. Then they waited, together. During the entire time
Deke rarely took his eyes off Emma.

The rest of the Travers men came into the
lobby only minutes later. Cal seemed distraught but handling it. He
was out of breath and both Emma and Deke went to his side. Rusty,
Clint and Jake all took turns walking up and down the corridor as
Deke and Emma tried to settle Cal down.

Finally, a nurse stepped out of the room
where Sammie Jo had been taken. She spoke to the receptionist, then
glanced at them.

"Are you the family?" she asked.

"Yes," they all chorused.

Emma sensed a wave of longing like she'd
never known. Oh to be part of this big wonderful family. And how
they had accepted her at such face value. And how she had lied to
them. Dear God!

"She's going to be fine. She has what is
commonly referred to as the "Grannie's Elbow", it's where the joint
comes out of socket. It's common among children this age. But we'll
want to keep her for a short period to be sure there is no other
injury or internal bleeding from the fall, for observation."

Relief seemed to flow from the entire room,
as though some giant breathed a sigh. Emma moved toward the nurse.
"Can I see her?"

"No, not just yet. As soon as the doctor is
through we will let you come in for a short period. Right now they
are still working with her and the doctor ordered some x-rays. We
want to make sure she isn't hurt internally. Why don't you go get a
cup of coffee and come back, maybe then you can peek in on her. Are
you the mother?"

"Y–yes," Emma said with a quick nod.

"We need a little more information on her.
Could you step through the office and finish filling out this form,
please."

Emma hesitated, then nodded glancing at Deke
through the window.

***

"What's this?" Emma cried as she carried the
kitchen trash outside the next Sunday morning and saw Deke.

"This is Dandy, Little Jim's best horse,"
Deke replied riding up beside her on his black stallion with
another rein in his hand and a smile to his lips.

"I don't understand," Emma said going
straight up to the big bay and petting her on the nose. The horse
nudged her as though she appreciated the affection. "Oh, you're a
pretty one. I wish I had some sugar to give you."

"Thought we'd take a ride. You haven't really
seen much of the spread."

"Oh, that sounds wonderful, but ..."

"Don't worry. Dad'll watch Sweet Pea."

"This is prearranged, I suppose." Emma
glanced at Deke.

"Down to the last detail. Even got us a
little lunch in case we're gone long." Deke hefted the wicker
basket up to show her.

"Who made that?" Emma shrieked with
delight.

"Clint, believe it or not. Said he was afraid
you'd wake up last night and catch him in your kitchen and take the
broom to him." Deke shot her an appraising look.

Her kitchen? When had it become her kitchen,
Emma mused silently as she threw herself up on the bay and smiled,
taking the reins.

"Smart man," Emma choked a smile from her
lips, afraid to look Deke straight in the eye. She didn't and
wouldn't read too much into this. Deke was merely being nice,
knowing how depressed and worried she'd been since Sammie Jo came
back from the hospital. They had all been so careful about where
they laid things down, and putting dangerous objects out of reach.
Emma especially spent hours rearranging things in the kitchen and
washroom.

The horse felt comfortable beneath her, Emma
sighed. It had been so long since she had ridden, she almost forgot
the pleasure. A hint of fall was in the air this morning and a
light breeze filtered over Emma's cheeks as she pushed back her
hair and quickly tied it with a piece of string from her
pocket.

"This is nice, Deke. Really. I've missed
riding. I used to ride with my brothers a lot."

"I figured as much. As at home as you are in
the kitchen you still don't seem like the kind to be cooped up too
long." Deke smiled, but not at her.

They rode in silence for a long while. She
needed the time to loosen up and get used to being in the saddle
once more. She found the bay was co-operative in every way, almost
second guessing her to each step.

"She's a fine animal." Emma patted her
again.

"Jim used to use her a lot when he worked the
herd, but he has a ropin' horse for the branding and castrating
seasons. He kinda sticks to the bays, says they are more trainable
and gentler on the backside than most."

"I can believe that," Emma said with a
chuckle. "So, what are we gonna see?"

"As much as you want. I thought I'd take you
along the mesa, show you the outlay of the land, then there's a
real pretty spot I kinda like to visit now and again. Thought you'd
enjoy a picnic."

"Sounds wonderful."

Again they were silent as they rode along
side each other. Emma basked in this silent togetherness. The
rightness of it thrilled her with illogical joy. Nature was a big
part of this man, and in her heart Emma felt very much at home with
the land and the man. But a silent voice whispered in her head not
to fall in love with it. It could never be hers. Deke was only
being kind.

An hour and a half into the trip, Deke
stopped above a big bluff and stretched his arm out over the
horizon. "All this is ours, Emma."

Emma did her best not to imagine he meant
hers too. But the enormity of the ranch had her swooning aloud.
"Oh–it's breathtaking. All this is yours? I never imagined you
owned so much. I mean, our spread back home wasn't half this
size."

Deke nodded. "That makes sense. You don't
need as much land to graze. We raise all our own feed, and we need
more pastureland than you would. It's not so big, if you compare
properties, but it gets us by."

"Have you always owned this land?" Emma
asked, still gazing out over the huge stretch of cattle roaming the
pastures.

"As far back as my
great-great-great-grandfather. He was one of the first to settle
out in these parts. Wasn't much out here then. He bought up the
land and moved his new bride from Virginia out here. Mail order at
that. He fought the Indians for it. I've often thought it must've
been hard for her, out here. This part of Texas was very sparsely
populated at the time. The ones who survived were lucky."

"Was he in the Civil War?"

"Nope. Didn't believe in that one. Refused to
take a side. I guess he probably had to fight a lot of neighbors
back then cause the sentiments ran strong. There was a story,
passed on by relatives and ancestors that grandma's sympathy lay
with the north, and Papa the south. So in order to keep things
together they just sorta ignored the whole thing, as much as they
could. He believed all men were free to do as they pleased,
including himself. Never owned a slave. Said the war was nonsense.
Raised his kids never to fight each other over anything, said it
wasn't worth it. I guess it's one tradition that's stuck." Deke
glanced at her, a serious look on his face as he spoke.

Deke wiped his forehead and frowned,
realizing how close he'd come to fighting with Clint over her. Good
thing he'd gotten some sense and realized his ancestor was right.
Still, something deep down inside of him told him there were things
worth fighting for. He'd always fight for his land, his cattle, and
. . . his woman!

His woman? Where had that come from? He
looked at Emma, and the warmth inside him spread to every part of
his body, tightening his loins, tensing his muscles, and melting
the hardness that had taken years to accumulate.

What he felt for Emma was strange and new to
him. He'd never felt so protective, so blatantly pulled by a woman
before. He wanted to share so many things with her, give her so
much, but he knew he had to use a gentle hand on her. Emma was
skittish and like all fillies needed simmering with a slow
hand.

He saw Emma's strengths too. She had bore her
father's wrath and ignorance with tolerance and understanding that
he could only guess at. She coped.

When he found the meadow he wanted to show
her, he saw the light in her eyes. No blue-bonnets or buttercups
littered the way, but an occasional sunflower peeked out from the
roll of the hills and the grassland was plentiful like a thick
heavy carpet. She relished the beauty of it as much as he did, he
decided when he saw the light on her face. How could a man feel so
at one with a woman, he wondered. So kindred.

"I thought junipers grew out here," Emma
remarked.

"They do, but we've spent a lot of time
pulling them up as fast as they sprout."

"But why? Even they have a beauty of their
own."

"Sure, but they also consume the water that's
here. I learned that trick by reading some of LBJ's tricks to good
ranching. He pulled up every one. A wise man."

Emma quirked her head. "How interesting."

"I thought so. I've always been a heavy
reader, when I find the time."

"I guess there is a lot to learn about
cowboys. I always thought their minds were on cattle and that was
it."

"Cattle, land, and . . . women, I'd say." He
grinned.

If only she'd open up to him, tell him her
fears, he'd help her solve them, get rid of them.

"So, are you glad you came?" he asked as he
spread a blanket on the ground and set the picnic basket to the
side.

"Oh yes, it's beautiful. Such a lovely day
too. I don't know when I've enjoyed myself so much. Being in the
saddle makes me feel young again. But I'll admit, I feel almost
guilty for taking this time off."

"Well don't. You deserve it."

"I wish Sammie Jo could be here too." She
sighed as she joined him on the blanket and opened the basket.

"Maybe next time we'll bring her along," Deke
added getting some of the packed up food out of the basket. Clint
had packed some of the left-over fried chicken and home-made
pickles, and there were celery, carrot and apple stick slices,
along with two generous portions of Emma's apple pie.

He was already planning for the future. It
took him by surprise that his feelings run so deep, and so
naturally for this woman. He prided himself in being sure about
most things, but even his father had warned that women can be
different. He'd take it easy, feel Emma out.

"So, why don't you invite Sammie Jo's
grandparents here?" Deke asked matter-of-factly. He didn't know how
to take this one easy, accept to blurt it out and hope she didn't
get too riled in the process.

"No!" Emma responded too quickly, too
adamantly. Her brown eyes went to pure panic. Her face turned red,
and all the tension that had been gone a few minutes ago, was back
in place.

"No, you're not even going to consider it?"
Deke suggested gently.

"No." Emma turned away from his probing
glances.

"I know I don't have any rights, but what
about Sammie Jo? I mean, is this fair to her?"

"What do you mean?" Emma's eyes flashed pain
and regret and anger all at the same time. Sending Deke a mixed
message of confusion.

"Please," Emma said standing up and turning
away, "don't ask me to explain this. Not now. Not today. This is so
lovely. So peaceful. I don't want to argue with you about this.
I'll handle it."

"Emma–let me help. I know something is
bothering you. But it may only be your own fears. Can't you share
it with me?"