Chili Con Corpses (14 page)

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Authors: J. B. Stanley

Tags: #midnight ink mystery fiction carbs cadavers

BOOK: Chili Con Corpses
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“Truer words were never spoken,” Milla declared, winking at Jackson as if they shared a secret.

As a slight grin tugged at the corners of his mouth, Jackson deftly sliced off pieces of tender breast meat and made a big show of serving Milla first. “You always pay respect to the cook,” he said, presumably for James’s benefit, though James was certain it was his father’s way of paying Milla a compliment.

When everyone was served and the glasses set before them were filled with fizzing champagne, Milla raised her hands and said, “I’d like to say a blessing, if I may.”

James shot Jackson a worried glance, as his father had never been big on saying grace. He had avoided attending church service his entire life outside of his own wedding and the baptism of his only child. James and his mother had always gone to church together, but Jackson claimed he was suspicious of all churches and didn’t need anyone to tell him how to talk to his Maker.

“He’s talking to his Maker with his fishing pole,” James’s mother would joke as they’d settle into their regular pew. That was often all she’d have time to say before the sound of Ruby Pennington pouring passion into the ancient organ—whose reluctant pipes seemed unable to keep pace with Ruby’s flying fingers—would explode inside the church. The image of Ruby seated on her bench in front of the organ reminded James that he had an important task to complete before the night was through, but for the moment, he took Murphy’s outstretched hand and bowed his head.

“Lord,” Milla prayed. “Thank you for bringing us together and for the bounty before us. We are so grateful for the friends we have held close to us as we have grown older and to the friends we have lost along the road of life.” She paused for a fraction of a second as her voice caught. Next to James, Murphy’s eyes had filled with tears, as she was undoubtedly thinking of Parker. Milla inhaled and continued. “And we are grateful for new friends. It is the people in our lives that define us and I couldn’t be happier to be holding hands with such wonderful people as the friends seated around me. Amen.”

“Amen!” Jackson declared and then immediately added, “Tuck in!”

Over the next hour, the foursome traded innocuous gossip and small talk while interjecting exclamations over the sumptuousness of the food. James was pleasantly amazed at how comfortable Jackson seemed to be with the two women who had invaded his home and forced him to speak more sentences over the course of the past few hours than he had uttered during the whole of the past two months.

During the dessert course, which consisted of pumpkin pie, apple crisp with fresh whipped cream, and decaf coffees, the foursome grew lethargic. Their bellies were so full that it was an effort to even swallow a sip of water. Pushing themselves away from the table, they unanimously declared that the meal was done.

James and Murphy volunteered to clean up. After clearing the table, they loaded the dishwasher and then began scrubbing the dozen pans, pots, and bowls that Milla had brought over.

“Why don’t I come back tomorrow to collect all of my things?” Milla quietly asked Jackson as he held out her coat. James stiffened, wondering what his father would say. He even put down the pan he was drying and spied on the couple as they stood in the hallway. “We can have some coffee.”

Jackson hesitated for a moment, but then he nodded his assent and walked Milla to her car.

“They are so sweet together,” Murphy whispered as she watched them leave. Drying her hands with a paper towel, she put an arm around James. “Thanks for having me over. With my family away at my older sister’s, I would have felt so lonely today.”

James could sense an air of expectation descend upon their shared space. Turning to Murphy, he stared at her pretty face and saw the gratitude in her hazel eyes. Without pausing to dissect his feelings, he leaned over and kissed her, drawing her trim body into his. He kissed her warmly for almost a minute and then slowly released her, smiling tenderly as he did so. James didn’t want to admit it, but he was still experiencing some conflicting emotions about Lucy, and he didn’t want to begin a serious relationship with Murphy until his confusion had been completely resolved.

“Hey,” he said to her as Jackson came back inside, rubbing his cold hands together. “How would you like to witness the unfolding of an incredibly heartwarming news story?”

A gleam appeared in her eyes. “When? Right now?”

“Yes.” He handed her a pen and paper. “Follow me to the phone, Brenda Starr.”

James removed a memo pad from his backpack that he had taken notes on during his meeting with Ruby Pennington. He had two phone numbers written on it, and he dialed the first one eagerly.

“Mrs. Matthews? Hello, this is James Henry from Shenandoah County Library.” He paused. “I know this is Thanksgiving, ma’am, and I don’t want to take up too much of your time.” He took a moment to find the right words. “It’s just that I have some good tidings to pass along, and I promised to do so before the holiday was over.”

James went on to explain that an anonymous library patron turned out to be the owner of a winning lottery ticket worth a great deal of money. “This person doesn’t believe in coincidence, Mrs. Matthews. This person felt that there was confusion about who owned the ticket for a reason. This person feels that was there was a specific purpose behind there being three other library patrons’ books in the book box. Because of this, I have been directed to tell you that a check for twenty-five thousand dollars is waiting for you at the library. It is this person’s way of giving thanks for the realization that they are already living a rich and fulfilled life.”

Mrs. Matthews didn’t respond. James was certain she was in shock.

“Ma’am? Did you follow what I said?” He waited. “Mrs. Matthews? Are you okay?”

She started crying. “Are you serious, Professor? Because if you are …” She trailed off. “You don’t know what this would mean for our family.”

James smiled into the phone. “I wouldn’t pull your leg, ma’am, and I’ve got the check to prove it. Stop in tomorrow when it’s convenient.”

Sniffling, Mrs. Matthews tried to catch her breath. “How can I thank this person, Professor? I just can’t take the money without expressing my deepest gratitude!”

“He or she especially wished to remain anonymous, Mrs. Matthews. They just wanted to spread a little cheer on this special day.”

“I can’t believe there is really someone like this out there, Professor! It’s like finding our own personal angel.”

James smiled. “I believe Quincy’s Gap is chock full of them. Good night and Happy Thanksgiving.”

Murphy’s mouth was hanging open, though her hand was working furiously. “Are you going to tell me who this person is?”

James shook his head. “Nope. Danny Leary was also given the same amount, and I’m now going to call Wendy Carver, a woman who has worked in the elementary school cafeteria for over twenty years, and tell her about her windfall. She makes the third person whose books were in our box.” He narrowed his eyes. “And don’t try to get anything out of Scott or Francis, either. They won’t tell you a thing.”

Fingers trembling with excitement, he dialed Wendy Carver’s number.

Wendy’s reaction was to shriek like a maimed hyena for over two minutes. James put her reaction on speakerphone as he and Murphy giggled gleefully, waiting for the cafeteria worker to calm down.

“Bless you, Professor!” Wendy yelled joyfully over and over again.

“Don’t bless me. I’m just the messenger,” James answered happily when he could finally get a word in edgewise.

James could almost visualize Wendy shaking a finger at him. “Don’t you tell me who I can bless! I say bless you and yours and that angel from heaven who’s given me this crazy gift and … and everyone! Yessir! Bless everyone!”

“Can I ask you a personal question, Ms. Carver?” James interrupted.

“Sure, hon. But better do it quick, ’fore I have a heart attack.”

“What do you plan to do with the money?”

Wendy chuckled. “That’s an easy one. I’m goin’ on one of them cruises where they have those buffets of nothin’ but chocolate. After twenty-two years of servin’ out school food, I’d like someone to serve
me
for a change.” She chuckled. “And I’m gonna take Mildred along. She’s been mopping floors in that place for just as long as I’ve been dishin’ out macaroni and cheese and has never stepped foot outside of this town. Besides, it’s no fun eating desserts alone.”

James looked at the remains of the pumpkin pie sitting on the counter and then back at Murphy’s face, which was aglow over witnessing such a bounty of happiness. “You got that right,” he said to Wendy in agreement.

The weeks following
Thanksgiving drifted away like the leaves chasing one another in circles across the brown and brittle grass in front of the library. James was alternating between watching their dance and working on the staff’s holiday vacation schedule. It was growing dark when Scott scurried into James’s office, closed the door, and faced his boss. Panic was etched across his pale features and he was breathing fast.

“Scott? Are you okay?” James got to his feet, concerned.

“She’s here,” Scott whispered, removing his heavy-framed glasses and wiping them with the bottom of his shirt.

“Who?” James was about to open the door to investigate but Scott stopped him.

“Lottie. The reporter for
The Star
.” He resumed cleaning his glasses.

James cracked the door and peered out through the opening. Lottie was busy examining a display on heart-warming holiday reads. She then wandered over to the shelf bearing the staff’s recommendations and selected all four books listed under Scott’s name. Her plain face lit up as she skimmed the jacket of one of his all-time favorite fantasy books.

“She’s so cool,” Scott murmured behind James, a dreamy look in his eyes. “Did you see that? She’s getting the first book in the
Memory, Sorrow, and Thorn
series.” He was so fixated on the young reporter that he didn’t notice that he had leaned so far forward that his boss was now supporting almost all of his body weight. James, on the other hand, was acutely aware that he was practically giving Scott a piggyback ride.

“Scott!” he barked, causing the twin to jump backward in surprise. “What exactly is the problem? It seems as though you like her. Do you?”

Scott nodded dumbly.

“Then go talk to her. You’ve talked to her before. What’s different now?”

“Now I
really
like her,” Scott muttered miserably.

James started to smile, but then realized that it would be insensitive to mock the young man’s anguish. “If you really like her, ask her out.”

“I want to, Professor. I really do. I’m just no good at this kind of thing.”

James nodded. “It’s not easy, that’s for sure.”

Scott went on as though James hadn’t spoken. “I … I even made her something for Christmas.”

The twins were extremely handy. Last year they had built a float for the town’s annual Halloween parade and had won first prize. Naturally, James was curious as to what Scott would have created for the girl he wanted to date. “What did you make her?”

Scott shrugged. “It’s nothing. Stupid, actually.”

James glanced at the oversized calendar tacked to the wall behind his desk. Christmas was only a few days away. He noted the red circle around Christmas Eve. Murphy had asked him to come to her house for a late dinner. He had originally planned on showing up with a bottle of wine and red roses, but now he wondered if those gifts were too clichéd. Perhaps Scott’s handcrafted gift would spark some creative ideas. “Really, Scott. You can tell me,” he pressed.

Scott shot a quick look at Lottie, who was still floating around the library. “It’s a Battlestar Galactica birdhouse,” he said as he stared at her. “She’s watched all the old episodes a million times and loves the new ones airing on the Sci-Fi Channel.”

Unable to think of a suitable reply regarding the gift, James gave Scott a paternal pat on the back. “She’s going to love it, son. Just go out there, tell her you’ve got a surprise for her, and plan on someplace private to give it to her.” He propelled Scott out of the office. “She’s a strong-willed woman. Just give her the opening and she’ll take the lead. Trust me. She’s a reporter. They are
not
a shy breed.”

“Somewhere private,” Scott uttered to himself, clearly lost in thought. James continued to gently shove the young man forward until he had practically collided with the object of his desire. Subtly, James veered away from the pair and ran smack into Mrs. Waxman.

“Sorry!” he apologized to the older woman and retrieved her handbag from the floor. “Um, may I ask you a strange question?”

The older woman shrugged. “You always do. Even as a student you’d stay after class to ask me oddball questions. But after twenty-five years in the classroom, I’ve heard it all, so out with it, Mr. Henry.”

“What’s a good gift to give a woman when you’re just getting to know one another?” James blurted. “You know, at the beginning of what may become a long-term relationship.”

Mrs. Waxman frowned in thought while patting her puffy hair. “I’d go with chocolate. In a fancy box. Lets her know that you plunked down some good money for the high-quality stuff. Not that waxy junk they sell at the drug store, mind you.” She shook her finger at him for emphasis.

“Thank you,” James replied and then slunk back to his office. He didn’t think that chocolates were the perfect gift. He heard Mrs. Waxman enter the break room, whistling “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town” and felt his anxiety over Murphy’s gift increase.

With clammy fingers, James dialed Lindy’s cell phone number, his eyes riveted to his wall calendar. Lindy picked up, sounding especially weary.

“Long day?” he inquired.

She sighed. “I’ve had to repeat the whole story behind the threatening remark I made to Kinsley to that Sergeant McClellan
again
. I can’t tell you how much I wish I didn’t have my mother’s temper.” James could hear the crinkling of a candy wrapper being opened in the background. “He even insists on coming to my New Year’s Eve party. Undercover. Pffah! Like everyone doesn’t know who he is! The man’s a skyscraper with legs.”

James listened to this news with interest. “Did he ask you to invite anyone else?”

“Yeah. The whole staff from Parker’s office! Can you believe it? And all of the adults on the field trip to the caves, of course.” She paused. “And Kinsley, if she’ll come. She hasn’t been back to school yet. Luis says she’s going to try again after Christmas break. I feel bad, James. I keep meaning to call her, but I don’t know what to say.”

“Call and invite her to the party instead of mailing an invitation,” James suggested. “You can always small talk with her about kids from school if she doesn’t feel like talking. After my mother died, it was nice to listen to people without having to say anything.”

“That’s why you’re a librarian.” Lindy’s mood seemed to instantly improve. “You just know how to help.”

“Well, maybe you can help me, too.” James proceeded to ask Lindy’s advice on a gift to bring Murphy.

“I’m still recovering from the news about you and Lucy!” Lindy scolded. “How am I supposed to think about you and Murphy as a couple now? I just can’t picture you with a different woman!”

“Murphy and I are not a couple,” James protested. “But she’s invited me over for Christmas Eve, and I can hardly go empty-handed.”

Lindy was silent for a moment. “You’re right. Good manners must prevail. Hmmm. You could bring over a plant, like a poinsettia. Or maybe a pretty scarf. A woman can never have enough scarves, or gloves for that matter.”

James thanked her, but decided that Lindy’s suggestions seemed more directed toward the type of gift one would give to a piano teacher or a mother-in-law, not something unique enough to impress an intelligent and attractive reporter.

After some internal debate, James decided to call Gillian at work.

“Is that you, James?” Gillian shouted over what sounded like a blow-dryer. “Just hold on! I’ve got to put Angus Rex back on his leash.”

James waited, wearing an amused smile as the variety of noises coming through the earpiece created a comic image of Gillian struggling with Angus. After a series of barks and the screech of nails on a slick floor, he heard Gillian trying to verbally coax the canine to allow her to reattach his collar.

“Come on, big boy,” she cooed to the dog. “You are
so
handsome now. You don’t want to mess up your beautiful bath because you’re distracted by Zsa Zsa, do you?” He heard Gillian making
tut tut
sounds as though she were rebuking the dog. “I
know
she is a very, very alluring and sophisticated French poodle, but perhaps you should remember that you have a
wife
of your own back at home. Remember her? Agnes Rex?” Gillian grabbed the phone once more. “Sorry, James! Angus is a Great Dane with a
very
strong personality!”

James quickly explained his predicament so that his friend could answer his query and then return her attention to Angus Rex.

“Why, that’s
such
a simple issue! I know
just
the thing!” Gillian exclaimed.

“Thank goodness someone does.” James felt relieved and then remembered that Gillian’s idea of a perfect present might border on the bizarre. He held his breath and hoped for a stroke of brilliance to inspire his friend.

“Listen carefully,” Gillian instructed. “You should find out what her element is. Then, get her a gift that matches the very core of her being. For example,
my
element is fire.” James could envision Gillian fluffing her flame-colored hair as she spoke. “I’d love a candle in yellow and orange shades, perhaps some sunflower-scented body oil, or a lemon-eucalyptus face spritzer.
Everyone
can use a nice spritz, and winter is especially harsh on our delicate skin.”

Thanking Gillian for her creative ideas, James hung up and uttered an exasperated sigh. He packed his bags, said goodbye to Mrs. Waxman, and headed to the Custard Cottage to get a gingerbread latte. Inside the cozy eatery, he was pleased to note that Bennett must have had a similar craving. James ordered a skim-milk version of the holiday treat, asked Willy to hold off on the whipped cream, and sank down next to Bennett.

“You look like a man with some things on his mind,” Bennett commented. “I’m awful sorry that none of us have come up with any solid notions about Parker. Is that what’s weighin’ on you?”

“Partially,” James said. “Though it sounds like McClellan’s got some kind of plan. He’s asked Lindy to add a bunch of names to her New Year’s party list.”

“Interesting.” Bennett’s eyes gleamed. “Gettin’ all of the suspects together to see if they create a reaction. Very scientific.”

“Very Agatha Christie, too.” James took a sip of his latte and scorched the tip of his tongue. “Wow! That’s hot!”

Willy sat down beside James with an enormous cup of hot chocolate. “Now, this ain’t McDonald’s. Don’t go suin’ me, friend.”

“Willy, that looks like a cereal bowl,” Bennett said, gesturing at the proprietor’s snowflake-decorated mug.

“I call this my hot chocolate crater. It’s made with real chocolate syrup, cream, and chocolate shavings.” Willy stirred a peppermint stick around the frothy surface of his drink. “I never told y’all about it ’cause you’re tryin’ so hard to be good.”

“Listen, men.” James put down his cup. “You’re both smart and innovative individuals. Maybe you can help me solve my problem.”

“We’ll sure give it a try.” Willy winked.

“What’s the perfect Christmas gift to give a woman that … ah
… you think you’re starting to like as more than just a friend?”

Bennett plucked his toothbrush mustache as he thought. “Women like romance. How about one of those date movies? You know,
Sleepless in Seattle
or
Love, Actually
. They go wild over that stuff. She’ll think you’re
so
sensitive. I hear that’s the thing to be these days,” he added sarcastically.

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