Choices (7 page)

Chapter 14

“
Quince, it’s time to go! I have directions, and it’s gonna take at least an hour to get there.” Jenna is ready to go, but I’m in the bathroom, giving myself a pep talk.
I look good. I’ve got this
. And I really do look good.

My hair is twisted into a long braid, with a few escaped pieces framing my face. Along with my usual lip gloss, I apply makeup carefully. It’s still subtle, but the eye shadow
and mascara make my eyes brighter. I’m wearing a blue babydoll dress, which hits just above my knees. I don’t want to fall flat on my face in front of everyone, so I choose some flat gold sandals. I might feel short all night, but at least I won’t break my ankle.

When I walk out, Jenna looks stunned. “What? Do I have something on my face?”

“No, Quince. You are perfect. You look beautiful, and you know what? Those boys aren’t going to know what’s hit them.” I blush. I know it’s only Jenna, but her opinion counts. “So, we better get there before they get drunk and can’t appreciate all of this hard work.”

T
he drive is beautiful. We are headed toward the mountains, right into the sunset. The party is on a farm about an hour outside of the city, and the boys have all gone ahead to prepare the bonfire. It feels weird to just show up without one of them with us.

When we ge
t to the farm, I am blown away. I am not exactly sure what I expected, but this was not it. We turn onto a dark, tree-lined driveway, and I am shocked to see a house. The driveway ends in front of a massive, two level stone and wood cabin. The entire front is lined with floor to ceiling windows. I am speechless.

“Wow. I thought we were just going to hang out in a field or something.” Jenna is just as awed as I am. “No wonder they all spend the night.”

Lighting up the sky, a fire burns in the field to the right of the cabin. Cars are parked along the driveway, and I see people gathered around the fire. Jenna parks near the edge of the field, and we get out of the car. “It’s a good thing I didn’t wear heels.” I’m relieved that’s one less thing I have to worry about.

The night air is still warm, and the sky is bright with stars. The moon shines down, a
nd I feel as if I’m walking into the pages of a book. Frogs are croaking, and fireflies dance across the field. I breathe in deeply, and it smells like home.

As soon as we enter the clearing, Eric is at Jenna’s side.
“Just who I’ve been waiting for! Any trouble getting here?” He’s already leading us toward a keg and some coolers. There has to be two hundred people here!

“No, the directions were great. We actually made it sooner than I expected.” Jenna drives like she talks. Fast. “So where are the guys?”
She asks as she looks around.

“They’re here somewhere. I’m sure we’ll run into them soon if we stand by the keg
long enough,” he laughs. “Come on, I’ll introduce you to some of the other guys and their girlfriends.” Eric leads the way, introducing us to everyone we pass.

Normally, I would be too shy to talk to all of these people, but I actually find myself enjoying it. The guys, and even the girls, are friendly and welcoming.
Not at all what I expected. I even catch a couple of the guys checking me out, and it boosts my confidence a little more.

Jenna and Eric are getting beer while I start checking the coolers for something I can drink. “Hey! You’re here!” Declan appears at my side.
Wow! He smells good. Unlike Brody, he wears cologne, and I think it’s my new favorite. He is wearing a polo shirt and khaki shorts with flip flops. He is so handsome, with that guy-next-door look. I smile up at him, and without heels on, I realize just how tall he is.

“Yeah, I was afraid Jenna was going to kill us a few times, but we made it in one piece. This is so neat. Whose house is this?” I am still sur
prised by my surroundings.

“
This is Brody’s family farm. Here, let me get you a beer.” He heads toward the keg. Wait. What? This is Brody’s party?

“She doesn’
t drink,” Brody interrupts. My jaw probably hit the ground.
He’s only been around me a few times, but he has noticed that I don’t drink
?

I turn to look at him
over my shoulder, and if my jaw wasn’t already on the ground, it would be now. He is wearing a simple white t-shirt and cargo shorts. He has on a baseball cap, turned backwards, allowing stray tendrils of hair to peek out. I watch as he bends down to a cooler and reaches to hand me a bottle of water. “I made sure we had some just in case you came.”

I mumble
a quick thanks, not sure I can say anything else. Declan, ever the gentleman, says, “Really? I didn’t realize….” His voice tails off as he looks between Brody and me. “Sorry about that, Quincy. Thanks, man.” He nods at Brody and casually lays his hand on my shoulder.

“Yeah, well, let me know if you need anything else. Have fun tonight.” He isn’t looking at me when he speaks. Instead, his eyes are on the hand that rests on my shoulder, and he’s already backing away.
As he fades into the crowd, I am both confused and relieved. That was not how this was supposed to go.

I turn and smile at Declan, trying to appear calm. “So, did you say this is Brody’s family farm?”

“Yes. His family owns it, but they only use it for family get togethers. I think they rent it out some, too. When we were pledges, he brought our pledge class up here for a brotherhood weekend, and we’ve been coming a few times a year ever since. There are lots of hiking trails and a fishing pond. It’s a perfect place to drink and not have to drive home.” Declan is a natural storyteller, and I love the way he smiles when he talks about something he cares about.

Jenna and Eric find some chai
rs, and we sit around the fire. It’s obvious that everyone likes Declan, as they all seem to migrate to him. A few guys even pat him on the back and tell me what a good guy he is. They already assume we are a couple, and something about that makes me feel warm inside.

Jenna has had a few drinks, so she and Eric head off to find a restroom. Declan pulls his chair closer to me, and we fall into easy convers
ation. He has two brothers who went to UT as well. His childhood stories are peppered with adventures, misadventures, and love.

“My brothers were also in this fraternity, so we
also share that bond. It’s been great having them in that part of my life. I really can’t imagine life without them. What about you? Do you have brothers or sisters?” He seems genuinely interested, and for a moment, I let my guard down.

“I have an older sister.
Her name is Katie. We look alike, but we are as different as night and day. I love her more than anything, but I just don’t get her. I grew up wishing we had the kind of relationship you just described.” I finger my bracelet as I talk, and I catch him watching. “We have these charms that match. I can still remember when we got them. We were so happy.” That’s the most I’ve said about my sister to anyone other than Jenna in a very long time.

He reaches over to take my hand, and he reads my charm
. His eyes are filled with understanding. “If there’s one thing I know, Quincy, it’s that there is always a way back. It’s just like this says. It’s about the choices you make. If you hold on long enough, have enough faith, all things are possible.” His voice is so soothing and sincere, and looking into his dark brown eyes, I believe him. I can see why he’s the chaplain.

I look
into the fire, with tears in my eyes, and whisper, “I hope you’re right.”

When I focus, I see Brody on the other side of the fire. He is staring direc
tly at me. With the flames dancing around him, he looks almost like a vision. For a moment, I think he looks concerned, but his face suddenly changes. He looks downright pissed, but I’m not sure if it’s directed at me or someone else.

Right when I am about to look away, a blon
de wraps herself around him. Brody breaks the stare to look down at her, an arm around her waist. He smiles down at her and whispers something in her ear. My stomach rolls. I think I might be sick.
You knew he was a player.
I watch until I can’t take anymore.

I turn back to Declan, and he’
s watching me. I don’t know if he saw the exchange with Brody, but he looks concerned.
Maybe he thinks I’m still upset about Katie
. But I can’t control it. I glance back, and Brody is still occupied by the blonde.

“You know what? I think I
will
have a drink after all.” I have to get away from here. If I look at them again, I might stomp over and pry that girl right off of him. “Want to come with me?”

When I stand, Declan puts a hand on my arm to stop me. “
Quincy, don’t drink just because you’re upset. It’s not going to help with anything.”
Damn right, it won’t. But it won’t hurt to try.

I try to reassure him, and I fix a smile on my face. “
Oh, it’s not like that. I like to have a beer every now and then.” He looks like he’s about to say something else, but I interrupt, “Where is the bathroom? I need to go find Jenna anyway.”

He doesn’t
look convinced, but he relents, “It’s in the cabin. If you go in the backdoor, it is the first door on the left. Do you want me to come?”

I shake my head. All I nee
d right now is a little breather. “I’ll be right back.” I walk in the direction of the cabin but stop by the keg for a cup of beer first. By the time I get to the backdoor, I have chugged the whole thing. Wow. I’m already feeling all warm and tingly all over.

After I use the bathroom, I stare at myself in the mirror. I don’t like who I see.
I don’t wear jealousy well.
You should have known.
I barely know him, so I don’t know why seeing him with another girl bothers me so much.
Yes, you do. You were hoping you were special, that he really liked you. Stupid girl.

I hear Jenna’s voice outside the door, so I take a deep breath and open it. The first thing I notice is that she is totally wasted. She hugs me and pushes me back into the bathroom with her. “Eric says we can spend the night. Only a few of the brothers
stay, and Brody told him you could have your own room. Will you stay, please, just for me?” She pleads.

I want to say no, to drag her to the car and leave. “Jenna….can’t I just take you
r car? Eric can bring you home in the morning.” I try to reason with her.

“Quince, I need you. I don’t want to stay by myself. Plus, he says they are going on a hike or something tomorrow. Please?” I’m sure her logic makes perfect since to her drunk self.

“Are you sure Brody is OK with that? I mean, he doesn’t seem to want me around.” I hate the idea of them discussing this without me.

“Girl, is he OK with it? He seemed to think it was the best
thing ever. He knows Declan has to go back to the house because he is the sober driver. I think he’d love to have you alone, if you know what I mean.” Right. I’m sure that’s exactly what he’s thinking. But there is no reasoning with Jenna.

“Oh, alright
. But you owe me one.” The possibility of waking up and seeing that blonde in the morning makes me ill.

So, I head back to the keg for one more beer. I’m going to need it.

Chapter 15

When I get back outside, people are starting to leave. Declan asks me if I need a ride back, but I tell him I’m going to drive Jenna’s car home. I don’t know why I lie. I’ve never lied to anybody in my life.

He pulls me into the shadows by the cabin and asks, “Are you sure you’re OK? You just seemed a little zoned out earlier.” He is so adorable when he looks worried.

The beer has me feeling a little bold, so I wrap my arms around his waist and hug him tight. “I’m just fine. Be careful driving home and I’ll text you tomorrow.”

As I release him, he bends to give me quick peck on the lips.
“Text me when you get home tonight. I won’t be able to sleep if you don’t.” Awww. He’s the best. I really don’t deserve him.

When h
e heads off to round up his crew, I go straight for the keg. I’m downing my second cup when someone steps up behind me. I know exactly who it is before he speaks. “Whoa! Careful, tiger! What’s the rush? I didn’t think you drank alcohol.”

His voice grates on my nerves. I haven’t even looked at him,
and I’m ready to throw myself at him. “I don’t. I mean didn’t. Before now.” When I finally look at him, I’m blown away. He looks even sexier without his cap on.

He smiles, like he knows a secret.
“So, Quince. You’re not a little jealous, are you?”
What an asshole.

“I don’t care what you do, Brody. So, umm, Jenna says we are staying. Where do you want me to sleep?” Saying those words puts all kinds of thoughts in my
head, and none of them are decent.

“I want you to sleep in my bed
, but I don’t think that would go over too well.” He cocks his eyebrow and smirks. “So, your room is at the top of the stairs, second door on the right. There is a bathroom next to it. There are extra toothbrushes and stuff in the drawer on the left. It’s my sister’s room, so there should be t-shirts in the dresser if you want something to sleep in. If you need anything else, come find me.” He shrugs and walks away.
Asshole
.

The beer suddenly hits me, and I realize why I’ve never been a drinker. I hate the feeling of not being in total control. And right now, I’m not in control of one damn thing.

I see Jenna and Eric dancing down by the fire. They are so sweet together that I tell myself I’m doing this for her, so that one of us can be happy. I walk back toward the cabin, and I have one positive thought.
At least I’ll get to see what it looks like on the inside now
.

I enter through the kitchen and
look around in wonder. It is beautiful. The granite countertops, stainless steel appliances, and tile floors are very modern but somehow look like they belong here. Wanting to see more, I follow a hall into the great room. This is the room with the floor to ceiling windows that I noticed earlier. There is a beautiful stone fireplace on one side of the room, and I can just picture a fire burning in it while snow falls outside. It would be so cozy. And romantic.
Ugh. Don’t even go there
.

I follow
the stairs up to a landing. I go to the second door on the right, but it is locked. Thinking I might have misunderstood, I try the third door. It is the bathroom. I figure I might as well get ready for bed, so I brush my teeth, let my hair down, and wash my face. I’m feeling a little tipsy, and I just want to sleep.

I try the second door again, to make sure, but it is locked.
So I try the first one, and it opens.
Maybe I heard him wrong
. I go to the dresser and pick out a t-shirt. It looks kind of big for a girl, but it’ll work. With the lights off, I crawl into the big, cozy bed and instantly drift off.

What seems like hours later, I hear someone open
a door. I’m not fully awake, but I don’t hear anything else. I am hovering between sleep and consciousness when I hear Brody mutter softly, “Aw, hell.” I feel the bed dip behind me, and I drift away.
I must be dreaming.

When
I wake up, it’s still dark outside. I realize that I must have gone to bed earlier than I thought. As I lay there, I become aware that I am not alone. Brody is on his side, facing away from me.
What the hell?
I lean up and look at the clock. It is 3:00 am, and I am now wide awake. I know I came to bed alone, and I’m wondering just how Brody ended up in bed with me.

Oh, no!
I sit straight up in the bed when I realize I forgot to text Declan. Climbing out of the bed as quietly as possible, I find my purse and phone lying on the floor where I dropped them. There are 3 texts from Declan.

Declan: B careful.

Declan: U OK?

Declan: Getting worried.

Me: 4got to text. I’m fine. TTYL.

As soon as I send the message, I get a reply.

Declan: Now I can sleep. Night.

Me: Night.

I crawl back into the bed and try to go back to sleep. I roll onto my side, looking at Brody’s back. I wish it were lighter so I could see his tattoo. I’ve never liked tattoos, but I have been dying to see his ever since I first noticed it peeking over his collar.

Belatedly, I
realize that I only have on a t-shirt and panties. I can’t be sure, but I bet he’s only wearing boxers or briefs. Lying here with him makes me wonder how many girls he has been with. That hurts just a little bit, but I remember Jenna telling me that practice is a good thing. She can turn anything around.

My body slowly becomes
aware of his body. I cautiously scoot closer, wanting to feel his skin against mine. As I nestle in behind him, I put my arm around his waist and my face against his back. I take a deep breath, and he smells so good. A little burnt wood mixed with
him
. As I inhale, a tingling sensation begins to spread along my skin, burning hottest wherever my body touches his. My hand is flat against his stomach, and I begin exploring the territory above his waistband. His abs are hard and well defined. As I breathe in his scent, I press my lips to the back of his neck.

“Quince, please.
There is only so much I can take before I do something we’ll both regret.” The sound of his voice startles me, and I still my hand. But I don’t move. He slowly rolls over to face me instead. “I want you, Quince. But I don’t think you are ready for this.” We are lying face to face, and his lips are so close to mine that I can almost taste them. I take a deep breath and lick my lips, trying to control my runaway emotions.

He groans, “Quince, what are you doing to me? When I saw you tonight, all I could think about was getting you alone.
And when I found you in my bed, I almost lost it.” I hear him talking, but I only see his lips. His hands move around me and pull me close to him. I can’t take the intensity of the moment, so I close my eyes. “Open your eyes, Quince. I want you to see who you’re kissing. I want you to know it’s me, and I want you to see me every time you close your eyes.” I slowly look up at him. I. Want. That. Kiss.

He lowers his head and whispers in my ear, “Are you sure about this? Because I might lose all control if I kiss you.” I’m not sure what he means, but I lean into him. He suddenly rolls over to push me on
to my back, his body weighing down on me. With his hands on the bed, he cages me in. My heart is pounding inside my chest so hard I can hear it. I have to remind myself to breathe. He lowers his head, and when our lips meet, a fire ignites inside of me, burning from the inside out.

He
licks my bottom lip, and I wrap my arms around his neck. I can’t wait, so I pull him to me. When I open my mouth to him, he slides his tongue inside. He tastes as good as he smells. Maybe some mint and a hint of beer. One hand glides down my body to my hip, then lower. My shirt rides up high on my thighs. His hand finds the back of my leg and urges it upward. He guides it over his waist. When he lowers onto me, he presses himself against me. I feel so out of control, but I can’t stop. His other hand wraps around the back of my neck to pull me closer. It’s like we can’t get close enough, like I could crawl out of my skin and into his.

He moves a hand between our bodies and gently rubs me through my panties. I
gasp and arch my back off the bed. I feel close to the edge of something, and I press myself into his hand. I lean my head back, and he watches while he continues to move his fingers on me. A pressure begins building inside me, spreading out from my core, until it consumes me. I can’t think. I can’t breathe. Something inside of me shatters. I cry out as I writhe against him. He gently rubs me until the sensation subsides.
That. Was. Awesome
.

As I become aware of just how I must look, I get embarrassed. I lower my eyes and try to turn my head. “No, Quinc
e. Look at me.” I do as he says, but my cheeks are betraying me again. “There is nothing to be embarrassed about, Quince. That was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.” He gently rolls off of me, pulling me into his side. Ever so sweetly, he plants a kiss on my forehead. “But I want you to remember what just happened. No matter what happens after this, I want you to remember how good we are together.” How
could
I forget that?

“Brody?
Shouldn’t I do something for you?” I’m not sure how this works, but he just rocked my world. I feel like I should return the favor.

“No, baby.
I’ll be thinking about that for a long damn time.” He smiles and rubs small circles on my lower back. “Besides, if you touch me, I will take something I have no right to take.” I immediately go still.

Does he know I’
m a virgin?
“What do you mean?” I wonder if he could tell how inexperienced I am. Maybe I did something wrong.

“Declan is my friend, my
roommate. No matter what you say, he thinks you’re interested. And I have no right to get in his way.” His hand stills on my back. “What just happened was wrong. Quince, he’s my
brother
for crying out loud!” He moves away from me, but I pull him closer.

“Brody, I told you I’m not dating
him. What do you want me to do?” I am desperate because I feel as if I’m already losing something I never had. How could this be wrong if it feels so right?

“Sleep, Quince. Just go to
sleep. We’ll talk about this in the morning.” Instead of pushing me away, he pulls me close again. With my head on his chest, I fall into a deep, peaceful sleep.