Choose the Sky: A Medieval Romance (Swordcross Knights Book 2) (30 page)

Luc watched Mina’s face when
the fool servant said the word
dying
. He saw the color drain so fast he was sure she’d faint, and he wanted to curse the boy for delivering the news so carelessly.

Mina didn’t faint. Instead she leapt away like a fleeing deer, leaving Luc behind without even a backward glance.

He stood there helplessly for a long moment. A flutter at the corner of his eye caught his attention. Eva walked toward him.

“Godfrey has taken a turn for the worse,” she said. “Apparently, it began less than an hour ago. I know Joscelin was with him in the morning, and he was doing quite well then, according to the maid Beatrice.”

An hour ago, Luc thought. Right about the time Luc dragged Mina to the empty treasury and kept her there, greedy for her softness and her arms around him.

He swallowed, trying to focus. “She’s an excellent nurse,” he said. “She’ll know if there’s anything to be done.”

“Has no doctor been summoned?” Eva asked.

Domina had long ago spent all the money she could spare on doctors’ advice. Luc shook his head. “I’m not sure it would matter,” he said. “Though I should summon one, just in case.” He’d pay for it. He was done with Mina taking on so much and not allowing anyone to share the burden.

Eva herself took on the task of sending for a physician, asking for the best one in the area, who, it turned out, was a brother in a nearby monastery. A request for aid was dispatched, though it would be several hours before they could hope to see the physician.

When Luc went to Godfrey’s room to tell Mina that help would arrive, he found a scene of controlled chaos. Mina directed a few servants to either heat water or fetch brandy or warm some soup. Mina hovered over her father’s bed, watching for every sign of his body’s distress. A change in breathing or a sudden sweat made her issue a new string of orders.

Joscelin was there as well, his face pale. He stood in a corner, out of the way, so Luc joined him there.

“How is he?” Luc asked.

Joscelin shook his head, as if it was all too much to think about. “He’s still breathing.”

Luc noticed how shaky Joscelin looked, and chalked it up to concern for his uncle’s fate. The younger man was gripping the crucifix he wore, his fingers white.

“You should rest,” Luc told him. “You look terrible.”

“I feel…so powerless,” Joscelin said, the words coming out in a hiss. He blinked rapidly, as if he’d been lost in a daze. “Excuse me. I must go pray.” With a nod, Joscelin slipped out of the room.

Luc remained, his eyes fixed on Mina.

“Mina,” Luc called, after observing the scene for several minutes. “Mina.”

She looked over at him, blinking almost as if she didn’t recognize him. “What?”

“We’ve sent for a doctor. He should be here this evening.”

“Oh. Yes. Good.” She nodded absently. “Thank you.”

“Is there anything else I can do?” he asked.

She shook her head, the loose red curls spilling out around her face. “I must stay with him. That’s all. This has happened before—he seems to improve for a while but then collapses again. I can’t tell you how often I’ve written to Joscelin, telling him that our prayers have been answered, only to see my father fail again days after Joscelin has rushed home. Sometimes I wonder if hope is actually a curse.”

“I’ll tell them to bring you something to eat,” Luc said, looking for something he could do to help. He already knew she’d never leave her father’s side to attend supper.

So he left her, troubled by how ill and drawn
she
looked. If Mina got sick through tending her father, it wouldn’t help anything.

After Luc ate supper in the hall, he returned to Mina, who’d not left her father’s side. An untouched tray proved she’d not even taken the time to eat. She still hovered by her father, though now she was watching someone else. The monastic physician had arrived. He wore the dark brown robes of his order, and his grey hair was tonsured, leaving a bare circle at the top of his head.

He was administering to Godfrey while Mina asked what he was doing at every step.

“Patience, child,” the physician admonished. “Let me work. I’ll explain the methods once I’m done.”

“But…”

“The lady needs to rest,” Luc said from the doorway.

Both Domina and the monk turned to look at him.

“I need to be with my father,” she objected.

“It’s late,” Luc said, “and he won’t be alone. Let this man—”

“Brother Paul,” the monk said helpfully.

“Let Brother Paul do his work.”

“I can help,” she said.

“Not if you fall asleep on your feet, child,” Brother Paul warned her. “Go to bed. I’ll stay the whole night through. I’m used to such a schedule. You are not.”

Luc nodded gratefully to the sensible monk. He took Mina’s arm. “He’s right. No one can be strong forever, Mina. Not alone. You need to rest, love.”

“I can’t,” she said desperately. “He needs me.”

“Yes, he needs you, which means you must rest so you can continue to care for him, and the castle.”

Luc held her by her shoulders, and despite her struggles, he didn’t let her return to the bedside.

“Let me go!”

“No, Mina. You can’t do anything more today. You can barely stand on your feet. Let me take you to your bed.”

“But…”

“You’re exhausted Mina,” he said. “What if you gave him the wrong medicine by mistake?”

She went still.

“You’re listening to me now? Good.”

Luc very firmly kept hold of one shoulder, but then swept her up into his arms. “I’m taking you to the keep.”

“I can walk.”

“So can I,” he said. “No more arguments, love.”

She initially struggled a bit in Luc’s arms, but then sighed and leaned her head against his shoulder, closing her eyes for a moment.

“Have I made a fool of myself?” she asked in a small voice.

“Not at all. You’re a daughter concerned for her father. No one would expect less.”

Even after he crossed the threshold of the keep, Luc wouldn’t let Mina out of his arms. Joscelin saw them and stared openmouthed.

“What’s going on?” he asked. “Is Mina ill, too?”

“Just tired,” Luc told him. He ordered a servant to bring some food and mulled wine up to the bedchamber, then he carried Mina all the way up the stairs.

Constance hurried into the room just as Luc allowed Mina to sit on the bed.

“My lord, my lady,” she said with a curtsey.

“Constance,” Luc said. “Prepare your mistress for bed. She is to eat when the food arrives and then she will go directly to sleep.”

It was a clue of how tired Mina was that she couldn’t even summon a sharp remark back. Luc busied himself at one side of the room while the maid readied Domina for the night. Luc watched as Constance brushed out Domina’s hair with the sort of care a sister might show. Mina inspired devotion in everyone who lived in the castle.

When the food was brought in, Luc dismissed everyone. He’d already discovered how much he liked feeding Mina.

After choosing a dish, he sat on the edge of the bed, offering her a piece of tender meat.

Mina dutifully chewed and swallowed, but her expression was troubled.

“What’s wrong? Don’t like it?”

“The food is delicious.” She sighed. “I’m not hungry.”

“Eat a little more. Then you can sleep.”

“I can’t sleep. My head is too full.”

Luc made her eat several more bites, and then offered her the mulled wine. “It’s not too strong, but it will help you sleep.”

“So you say,” she groused.

Luc took the cup from her and sat down next to her. “Come,” he said, holding out an arm. Mina accepted the offer, tucking herself against his body like a sheltering bird. Luc relished the feel of her. He sought out one of her curls and twined it around his finger, loving how the red caught the glow of the candles.

“You can’t blame yourself for what happened today,” he said.

“They were looking for me the whole time we were…”

“Enjoying each other?” he asked. “True. But not your fault. It might as easily have been when you were out hawking. Or gone to the village.”

“Both tasks I need to do.”

“Ah. So the guilt stems from the fact that you were doing something you didn’t need to be doing? Merely something you
wanted
to be doing?”

“You know what I mean,” she said, hiding her face.

“No, I don’t. You deserve joy in your life, Mina. You work as hard as anyone else here. You’re usually up at dawn, and you don’t rest until the night’s halfway over. You’re flying everywhere, counseling everyone. But you’ve been neglecting yourself.”

“I am needed.”

“Not to the point that you collapse,” he said. “I’m serious, Mina. You wouldn’t work your hawks or falcons to exhaustion. You wouldn’t ride a horse until you kill it. A human being is no different. Strain too hard, and you’ll break. I don’t want to see you break.”

Mina said nothing, so he hoped he was getting though to her.

“You’ll feel much better after you sleep,” he said, “and then we’ll see how your father fares. Would you like me to summon a doctor from London?”

“But then…” She stopped, looking confused.

“There’s nothing left to hide,” he said. “It’s so ingrained in you that you must tell no one. But that’s not a problem any longer. We’re married. You won’t lose your castle, you won’t lose your father.”

“The cost,” she whispered, as if trying to find an excuse.

“No longer your concern,” he said. “If a doctor’s fee is all that’s needed to bring your father back to health, then I’ll pay it happily.”

“Why are you being so good to me?” she asked.

His face clouded for a moment, but then he chuckled. “Besides that you’re my wife?”

“Yes.”

“Well, you can repay me one day. Perhaps with a song. I’ve already heard you, you know. I heard you singing the first week I arrived. Sing to me now.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I’ve only been singing to my father. To help him remember me. I feel as if…if I sang for anyone else, I’d be…”

“Betraying him? That’s not how music works.”

“How do you know?”

“I suppose I don’t. Still, I’d love to hear your voice.”

“I can’t. Not yet.”

“When he’s well again.”

Tears rolled down her cheeks. “Oh, God, Luc. Will that ever happen? Or am I grasping at shadows?”

Luc cradled her and kissed her until the tears slowed. He had no answers for her, and offering false hope seemed cruel. Eventually her crying subsided, and she merely clung to him, her hands bunched into fists, clutching at his clothing.

“I don’t know what I would have done today if you hadn’t been here,” she said at last. “I’ve never had someone to turn to when this happened.”

“You do now, love.”

Domina slept like the dead
. The castle could have fallen under siege and she wouldn’t have even shifted in her sleep. When she finally awoke, the eastern window was already unshuttered, allowing a bright stream of sunlight in. Mina lay in bed, still drowsy, watching the dust motes float in the light for a while. She felt remarkably well rested, and admitted Luc had been correct when he insisted she needed rest.

Then she remembered what made her so frantic the day before and she sat up.

“Constance!” she called, even as she swung around to put her feet into the leather slippers  on the floor.

The maid came in a moment later. “Good morning, my lady,” she said cheerfully. “How are you faring today?”

Mina initially thought she was well, but as soon as she sat up a sense of dizziness settled over her. Still, she said, “I’m well. What is the news of my father, though?”

“He’s sleeping, last I heard. The holy brother tended him most of the night, but he ate some food in the great hall this morning, and told my lord that Godfrey seemed to be past the worst of it. Shall I bring you something to break your fast, my lady? You barely ate yesterday.”

The thought of food made Mina want to retch. “Later,” she said, waving her hand. “I must dress and see my father now. It must be near noon!”

“My lord wished that you should sleep as long as you needed,” Constance said.

“Where is he now?” Mina asked, as Constance helped her to dress. Mina stood quietly, hoping the dizziness and the churning in her stomach would subside.

“He’s with his sister, I believe. Your cousin is in the chapel, praying.”

Mina went to the chapel first, hoping to bring Joscelin along with her for support. However, the space was cold and empty, with no candles burning on the altar.

“Joscelin?” she called. “Are you here?”

There was no answer.

She waited for a moment, then decided that something must have called him away.

Mina continued on to her father’s room. She found him sleeping peacefully, with Beatrice  watching over him as she sat by the fire.

“Has my cousin been by?”

“No, my lady,” Beatrice said.

“Hmm.” Mina sat on the edge of the bed, putting Joscelin out of her mind for the moment. She sang several lullabies to her father, and then recounted some the recent events at the castle, including the arrival of Guinevere, the falcon.