Choosing Happy (Madison Square #2) (17 page)

I finished with her back and started on her chest, dragging the cloth down between her breasts, then across her nipple. The fabric snagged on the hard peak of her nipple, and she moaned as I pulled the rough cloth across her skin. I swallowed at her reaction, trying to keep myself in check and keep it about what she needed.

I couldn’t stop thinking about what she said earlier.
Make me happy.
She was stressed and hurting, I could see it, but I was at a loss for what she wanted from me. How could I make her happy when she kept pushing me away?

“Madison,” I said. Her eyes lifted to mine. “What did you mean by make you happy?”

She sat up and drew her knees to her chest. I could see her hesitation as she tried to come up with the right answer, but there was no right answer. I needed her to be honest.

“I don’t know, exactly. You just have this joy about you. It’s the first thing I noticed when we met. It radiates to everyone around you, and I just wanted to feel some of that again,” she said, looking down into the water.

I wanted to pull her into my arms and keep her there, where I could protect her, where she could be warm and safe, and…fuck, I just…I didn’t know what else to do to make her see how much I wanted to be there for her.

I brought my hand to her cheek. She leaned into my touch, a tear slipping from her eyes. “Baby,” I whispered, not sure what else to say.

She tensed and shifted in the tub. Water splashed up my arm as she pulled away from me. “I’m so sorry,” she said with panic in her eyes.

I frowned at the sudden change. “For what?” I asked, my head snapping up.

“For everything,” she said. “For showing up here, for what I said at Gran’s party, the awful way I treated you. You deserve better.” She dropped her head in her hands, the tips of her ears turning that beautiful pink color.

I laughed, unable to keep the smile from my face. She looked up at me, her brows drawn tight together, causing little worry lines to form between them. I got to my knees and cupped her cheeks, forcing her to look at me.

“You are a mess,” I said. She closed her eyes and sighed in defeat. I smiled and pulled her face closer to mine. “Look at me, beautiful. Open your eyes.” She did as I asked, and I wiped a tear from her cheek with my thumb. “You are a mess,” I repeated, “but so am I.
Life
is messy.” I pressed my forehead against hers and exhaled. “The mess isn’t the problem. I can deal with messy. The problem is you won’t let me.”

I took a deep breath and released her, sitting back on my heels. “You are so convinced that this thing between us is just a passing fling that you refuse to give us a real chance.” She turned away, and I turned her chin to face me again. “You can be happy, Madison. You just have to choose to be.”

I brushed my lips against her temple. “I’m not asking for the moon, babe. I just wish I could be a part of your world.”

She giggled and I pulled away, confused. I looked down at her as she bit her lip to contain her laughter. I couldn’t help but smile. “What?”

“Did you just quote
The Little Mermaid
?”

I laughed and flicked my fingers into the water, splashing her in the face. “Smartass,” I said. “We were having a moment.”

“Don’t let me stop you if you feel the need to break out into song,” she said, splashing me back.

“Oh, so now you’re funny.” I got to my feet and dragged my arm across the surface of the tub, sending a wall of water and bubbles over her head and onto the floor. She spat and sputtered, laughing as she wiped the water from her eyes.

I smiled as I watched her recover. I was crazy about her, all of her. The silly, sarcastic side of her and all the broken, sad parts too. It was fast, really fast, but she was amazing and unexpected. She’d been through a lot in her life and so had I, but if she could just give us a chance we just might be able to heal together.

She reached for my hand, threading her fingers with mine, that shy sweet smile spread wide across her face. I smiled at her and she tugged hard on my hand, throwing me off balance. I fell into the tub, and warm water soaked its way through my clothes as more water splashed onto the floor.

I wiped the water from my face and growled, narrowing my eyes in a playful glare. “You’re in for it now,” I said. I pulled her toward me, attacking her sides as she shrieked and kicked with laughter.

I was thoroughly soaked, and there was more water out of the tub then there was in it. I pulled her close, pressing her hard against my chest. I leaned in and kissed her as she snaked her arms around my neck, pulling me closer and kissing me harder, her tongue pushing into my mouth. I felt my cock begin to lengthen again against my thigh, and I groaned, pulling her bottom lip between my teeth before breaking the kiss.

I climbed out of the tub and she watched me, her eyelids heavy with lust as her eyes focused on my erection that was on full display through my soaked shorts. I pulled my soaking wet shirt over my head, letting it drop with a heavy slap to the soaked tile floor.

Her eyes roamed my chest and stomach, sliding further down to where my shorts hung low on my hips, weighed down by the weight of the water. I let her look for a bit before holding out my hand to help her out of the tub. She stepped out and I reached for a dry towel from the shelf, wrapping it around her and rubbing her shoulders to keep her warm.

“Why don’t you get dried off and climb into bed?” I said against her lips. “I’m gonna get out of these wet clothes and clean this up.”

“I can help,” she said, looking around at the water puddling around the bath tub.

“I got it, babe. Go lay down. You seem a little more clear-headed, but something tells me tomorrow morning might be kind of rough.”

She nodded, and I gave her one more quick kiss before heading back into the bedroom.

I changed into some dry clothes and soaked up the water with some towels from the hamper. I tossed our wet clothes and the dirty towels into the washer and went back to the bedroom.

Madison was curled up on the bed, eyes closed. I climbed in beside her and wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her close. I pressed a kiss to the top of her head as she snuggled against my chest.

I closed my eyes as my phone started buzzing on the night stand. I grabbed it, the screen lighting up Madison’s sleepy face. She squinted at the offending light as I read the screen.

It was Dad, again. He seemed to be getting more persistent; he must want something from me. He didn’t call for any other reason.

“Do you need to get that?” Madison said, starting to get up from the bed.

I pulled her back down and hit ignore on my phone. “No,” I said. “It’s not important.”

“You sure? If you need to talk to him…”

“He doesn’t matter,” I said, pulling her down for a kiss. I deepened the kiss, threading my fingers through her hair, hoping to distract her.

She pulled away, a frown taking over that beautiful face. “What do you mean?” she asked.

I leaned in to kiss her again. “Nothing. Don’t worry about it, beautiful.”

She placed a hand on my chest and pushed me back on the bed to separate us. “Talk to me.”

I didn’t want to get into this tonight. It wasn’t supposed to be about me. I sighed, running a hand down my face, trying to figure out where to start. “I told you my mom died.”

She nodded and propped her head in her hand, listening intently. “Yeah, you said she was in a car accident.”

“Yes. My dad and I were in the car too.”

Her eyes widened. “Oh my God. Sean, I’m so sorry.”

“We were on our way home. It was late. The road was slick. A semi lost control and jumped the median.” I swallowed and squeezed my eyes shut as the memory of the headlights and my mother’s scream filled my head.

“That’s…that’s awful,” she whispered.

“Dad and I were lucky. He ended up with a few bumps and bruises. I had a few broken ribs and a fractured ankle, but Mom…she was killed instantly.”

She sat back, quietly waiting for me to continue. “It was my fault.”

“What was?”

“The accident, Mom’s death, he blames me for all of it.”

“What? How can…it’s not your fault.”

“I know, but my dad never forgave me. I’d snuck out, ended up at a party I had no business being at. The cops showed up and called my parents. I will never forget the look of pure rage on his face when he pulled up. My father never wanted kids, but he loved my mother, so he gave her what she wanted most in this world, a family. Mom was the support system: loving, nurturing, an amazing cook, just like Gran. She was as kind and sweet as he was demanding and cold. He demanded excellence from us. I was a stupid kid. I didn’t care how pissed or hateful he would get, but Em wanted his approval even though nothing was ever good enough for him. Nothing ever satisfied that bastard. The night of the accident was the last straw for him. I remember Mom kept trying to calm him down, but nothing was working. Being an asshole teenager, I poked the bear and he lost it. He turned in his seat and grabbed my shirt, his face a twisted snarl. The next thing I knew, the car was filled with a bright light and I heard Mom scream, then everything just went black.”

I tilted my head back on the pillow, looking up at the ceiling. “I was in the hospital for a week. He never once came to see me. He buried her before I even got out of the hospital so I couldn’t even say good-bye. Gran tried to get through to him, to talk to him, but he wanted nothing to do with me or Em. I’d killed the love of his life. No one could convince him otherwise. We didn’t speak for years. I hated him just as much as he hated me. Gran helped me work through the guilt over the accident, but I just couldn’t bring myself to forgive him for abandoning us. I worked my way through college, paying my own way, refusing to ask him for anything. I even changed my name, taking Mom’s maiden name to distance myself.”

Madison laid a hand on my chest as she listened. I played with her fingers as I spoke, twisting our fingers together and tracing patterns on the back of her hand.

I took a deep breath and went on. “When Em graduated high school, she was accepted to The Ritz Escoffier School in Paris. It was a huge deal. It’s one of the most prestigious culinary schools in the world, and going there was Em’s dream. The problem was that Gran was barely breaking even. She couldn’t afford to pay for it. So…I went to my father. He agreed to pay for her to go
if
I agreed to attend a few of his company events, fundraisers. Apparently it was important to his investors for him to appear to be a family man. He calls, I put on the black tie and smile for the investors and his clients, Em goes to Paris.”

I looked up at Madison. “Em and Gran don’t know. They think a scholarship paid for school, and they don’t know about my arrangement with my father either. I don’t want Gran to worry.”

Madison leaned in, brushing her lips softly against mine. “You’re amazing,” she whispered. I frowned. “No wonder you’re so good at the whole knight in shining armor thing.”

I chuckled and rolled her to her back, kissing her lips and sliding my hands beneath the shirt she was wearing, my shirt. There was nothing sexier than the sight of a beautiful woman lying in my bed in nothing but my t-shirt, the smell of my soap on her skin. It’s a heady combination.

I broke the kiss and ran my nose along her cheek, teasing her. I cupped her breast. “I’m no knight,” I whispered. “I just protect what’s mine.”

“I’m not yours,” she said, nipping at my lips.

I smiled and pressed my forehead against hers, pinching and playing with her hardened nipple as she moaned into my mouth and arched her back, pushing her breasts into my hand.

“You are,” I said. “You’re just not ready to admit it.”

Chapter 15

Madison

When I first opened my eyes the next morning, I slammed them shut again. A sharp, stabbing pain radiated through my head. I groaned and rolled away from the window that seemed to be the source of the pain and tried again. It took me a moment to realize where I was.

I sank down under the covers, trying to hide from the humiliation as memories of last night flooded back to me. I felt the sheet being pulled from my grip, and I looked up to see Sean at the foot of the bed. He wore a pair of red flannel pajama pants that hung loose on his hips. His hair had that sexy disheveled look, and his chest was bare.

“Hey, beautiful,” he said, a bright smile spreading wide across his face.

“Hi,” I said, my voice cracking. I needed water and a toothbrush. My tongue felt heavy in my mouth and tasted like a landfill.

He crawled up the bed, hovered over my body, and pressed a kiss to the side of my neck. “There’s a toothbrush in the drawer by the sink,” he said, nodding his head toward the bathroom.

I quickly covered my mouth with my hand. “Is it bad?”

He laughed. “No. I just figured you might want it.” I nodded.

He laughed and kissed my knuckles, which were white from clenching my hand to my face. “Come on,” he said, climbing off the bed. “I made waffles.”

As Sean headed out of the room, I darted for the bathroom. I quickly brushed my teeth, cringing at the left over mascara that had streaked its way down my face.

Thanks to Kelly, my hair was relatively low maintenance, so I just patted down a few stray pieces and left it at that. I was starting to resemble something closer to human when I went back into the bedroom, following the delicious scent toward the kitchen.

The TV was on some morning news show where one of the news anchors were interviewing some new actress or something, but all I saw was the time in the corner of the screen. The little clock said ten thirty-three and panic set in my chest.

“Oh my God!”

Sean jumped, looking around the apartment quickly for the source of my scream. “What?”

“I’m late,” I said, turning in circles as I tried to locate my clothes and my bag. “Why didn’t you wake me?” I picked up my shirt, which was next to the couch, from the floor. “Son of a bitch. I can’t wear this.” I pulled at the tiny threads that used to hold the buttons. While hot in the heat of the moment, the button ripping thing wasn’t very practical the morning after.

Sean slipped his arms around my waist. “Madison,” he said, his voice calm with just a hint of amusement in his eyes. “Relax, baby. I called your assistant. He cleared your schedule.”

“You talked to Jeremy?”

He nodded. “I told him you needed a day off. He agreed, actually. He said he could hold down the fort.” Sean pulled me against his chest and wrapped his arms tightly around me.

“I can’t take a day off,” I said, trying to pull away from him. “I have to go.”

His grip on my waist tightened and he tilted my chin, forcing me to meet his eyes. “It’s done,” he said. “You have the whole day free, and you’re gonna spend it with me.” He dropped his hand from my chin and started to lead me toward the kitchen. “So, stop freaking out and eat the damn waffles.”

His stern tone left me shocked and slightly turned on. Okay, more than slightly. He sounded so assertive, not demanding or controlling exactly, but strong and in control. I kind of liked it, and the idea of playing hooky for the day with Sean was sounding better and better by the second.

I was already two hours late, not to mention suffering from the mother of all hangovers. I’ve never taken a single personal day or vacation, so with a heavy sigh, I stopped fighting against him and relaxed.

Sean deposited me on a bar stool and went around the kitchen island to finish breakfast. He dropped a plate with a giant Belgian waffle and some fruit down in front of me. I took a deep breath, breathing in the warm, sugary smell, and a small moan escaped from between my lips.

“It smells amazing.”

A few minutes later, I took my last bite of the waffle. I closed my eyes, savoring the taste. “Oh my God! That was so good.”

“I’m glad you liked it,” Sean said, taking our plates to the sink.

“So, what are we doing today?” I asked, getting to my feet.

Sean smiled and walked toward me with a wicked gleam in his eye. He leaned down and lifted me over his shoulder, causing me to come face to face with his gorgeous ass. “Agh!” I yelped. “What are you doing?”

“I’m taking you back to bed. I had to listen to you moan with every single bite. Now it’s time to really give you something to moan about.”

I couldn’t help but laugh as he carried me to his bedroom and dropped on my back atop the bed. His lips crashed to mine, devouring me as he pushed his tongue roughly into my mouth. He made quick work of discarding what little clothing separated us.

“Fuck, you’re beautiful,” he said, his breathing labored and his eyes hungry as he crawled up my naked body.

***

Eventually we did make it out of his bedroom. He refused to tell me where we were going as we headed to my place so I could change. When we got there, he disappeared down the hall toward my bedroom and I giggled as I followed.

He opened my dresser drawer, shifting the contents around and pulling out a pair of black yoga pants and a blue workout tank, tossing them at me. “Put that on,” he said with a grin.

“We’re going to the gym?”

“No,” he said, pulling open my panty drawer.

“Whoa, hold up,” I said, pushing the drawer closed, my face heating. “I can pick out my own underwear.”

He winked at me and headed into my closet. I had no idea what he was doing. A hoodie and a pair of running shoes flew out of the closet door, landing on the floor next to my bed with a
thunk
.

“So, are you gonna tell me what’s going on?” I asked as I unbuttoned my skirt and shimmied it down my legs.

“Where’s the fun in that?”

I bit my lip and appraised the clothes strewn across my bed. What could he possibly be up to? After years of my controlling bastard of an ex-husband making all of the decisions in my life, I was not too keen on the idea of taking orders. I pushed the thought quickly out of my head. Sean was not Michael. Sean was sweet and generous and kind. He was trying to get me to loosen up, to trust him.

Twenty minutes later, we pulled up outside a large warehouse building in the industrial part of downtown. I was at a total loss. “Where are we?” I asked.

“You’ll see,” he said, a bright smile stretched from ear to ear. He was clearly enjoying this little game, but I was nervous as hell.

Inside, there was a large blue reception desk with a perky blonde sitting happily behind it. The wall behind her read
‘TSNY’
in large white letters. None of this gave me any clue as to what was about to happen.

Sean stepped to the counter and gave the tiny blonde his name. “Welcome. Mr. Taylor,” she said. “I just need you and Ms. Buchanan to sign these release forms.”

The blonde handed both of us a clipboard. I looked down and quickly skimmed over the form. Words like serious injury and death jumped out at me, and I snapped my head up to look at Sean.

“Serious injury or death?” I asked, my mouth going a little dry.

“Relax, beautiful. Do you trust me?”

I just stared at him. I did trust him, and that scared the hell out of me. I blinked and nodded.

Sean smiled at me and tapped my clipboard with his pen. “Then sign.”

I took a deep breath and signed my name, hoping that it wouldn’t be for the last time.

With the forms signed, the receptionist directed us toward a door to the left. Sean held it open, and I walked into a large, open warehouse filled with what looked like gymnastic or climbing equipment, but I didn’t think that was quite right.

Sean put his hand on the small of my back and led me forward, toward a large structure made of tall steel poles with nets and ropes hanging from it.

I craned my neck to look up when I noticed a man standing on a tiny platform way above our heads. When he saw us, he raised an arm in greeting. “Sean!”

“Pat!” Sean yelled, waving back.

Pat grabbed a hold of one of the poles. He hook a leg around it and slid down until his feet hit the floor. My eyes went wide. He had to have slid at least twenty feet down that pole. There was no way in hell they were getting me to do that.

Pat walked toward us, holding his hand out to Sean. “Hey, man. How ya doin?”

Sean took Pat’s hand, flashing his trademark smile. “I’m good. Pat, this is Madison Buchanan,” he said, gesturing to me.

Pat held out his hand to me. “Pat Montgomery. Pleasure to meet you, Madison.”

I shook his large, calloused hand and flashed him a nervous smile.

“Pat and I go way back,” Sean said. “We grew up together, but that was before he ran away to join the circus.”

Pat laughed. “Cirque du Solei, asshole.”

My eyebrows disappeared into my hairline. “Seriously?”

“Yep,” Pat said, grabbing the back of his neck. “Toured with them for four years ‘til I blew out my shoulder.”

“Those who can’t do, teach,” Sean said.

Pat playfully punched him in the arm. I, of course, registered none of their horsing around because it had finally hit me what we were doing here.

“You ready to learn the fine art of the trapeze?” Pat asked, clapping his hands together.

I snapped out of my temporary shock and turned on Sean. “Are you crazy? I can’t go up there.” I pointed to the tiny platform positioned a good fifty feet in the air.

“Sure you can. You’ll love it,” Sean said with a grin.

I looked at Pat, who nodded his agreement. No way. It was insane. I could break something, like my neck.

Sean grabbed my shoulders, turning me to face him. I swallowed thickly, my eyes wide with fear. “Relax. Pat here’s a professional. He’ll go over all the safety stuff and you’ll be in a harness with a giant net below you the whole time.”

I glanced nervously up at the giant net above my head as terrifying images of me crashing through to the floor like a cartoon character flashed through my head.

Sean turned my chin back to face him. He smiled, his eyes soft and gentle. “Take a chance, beautiful. This is your chance to do something crazy, have some fun.”

He was right. If I didn’t do it, I would most likely regret it, but my mother’s nagging voice rang loud in my head, screaming,
you’re going to die!

Sean stepped closer. He wrapped his arms around my waist as he pulled me tight into his chest.

“I will be with you the whole time,” he said.

I stared into his hopeful eyes and found myself nodding. I was in trouble if that was all it took for Sean to convince me.

Pat took his time going over all of the safety equipment and procedures. I made him repeat the procedures for when we are on the platform three times to make sure I had it right. Once he was satisfied we knew the rules, he buckled us into the harness, tightening the straps and double checking the clips.

Normally having a strange man’s hands on my ass would bother me, but if it kept me from plummeting to my death, Pat could put his hands where ever he wanted.

We were all rigged up and ready to go, so we followed Pat up the ladder to the small platform above. I kept chanting,
don’t look down,
over and over in my head as I tried to will my hands to stop sweating. I was terrified that I might slip off the ladder before I even made it up there.

I was last to reach the platform, so Sean held out a hand to help me up. We were really,
really
high. I could’ve sworn the air had gotten thinner. I was holding on to the railing for dear life when Pat reached out and grabbed a rope, pulling the trapeze bar toward him.

When he had a hold of the bar, he turned to Sean and I. “So, who’s first?”

Sean looked at me and I vigorously shook my head. “I guess I’ll go first,” he said.

Pat grabbed the back of Sean’s harness and handed him the bar. When Sean was in place, Pat said, “Okay, on the count of three. One, two, three.”

Sean jumped. He held onto the bar and swung out in a wide arc. When he started to swing back toward us, Pat yelled, “Lift your legs.”

Sean flipped himself upside down, lifting his legs over the bar as he swung out over the net.

“This is incredible,” Sean shouted as he swung upside down from the bar.

The smile on his face said everything. He looked so free and so full of joy. I wanted to feel that way, just once.

Pat told him to release, and I watched as Sean flipped off the bar and landed safely on his back, cradled in the net below.