“You have a choice to make,” Shalael said softly. She turned him to her. Dynan didn’t want to leave her and live. “I think you already know what it is. Your father needs you. Shalis adores you. Kamien cares about you whether you believe it or not, a great deal, Dynan. Dain would be lost without you.” She put her hand over his heart and leaned up to kiss his cheek. “I’ll always be here. Where I’ve always been and always will be. The bond between us can’t be broken. If you listen carefully, you’ll hear in your heart the answer.”
Dynan thought it might really break his heart to go, but he knew she was right. Once the decision was made, a strange, unexpected peace came over him. He’d managed before to survive the separation and he knew now he could manage again. It was more comforting than he expected, knowing he’d see her again. He found himself hoping it wouldn’t be for a long time and then felt bad for it. His mother laughed though.
“You’ll be all right,” she said. “So will I.”
Dynan nodded to that, and wrapped his arms around her, hoping against hope he’d be able to keep this too. He let her go and left her.
Maralt watched behind him and Dynan vowed he wouldn’t look back, afraid the courage to leave wouldn’t last, but he couldn’t stand it.
“Don’t,” Maralt said and stopped him. “She’s already gone.”
Maralt wouldn’t let him look, restraining him for long enough. The white room melted away, changing to a small square space that looked very much like the room Alurn had once occupied, and Dain too.
“I have to take your memory,” Maralt said the moment they were there.
Dynan already knew it and couldn’t think of anything to stop him.
“If you fight it, I’m not sure I can...” Maralt stopped, abruptly turning from him. “It does something to me and I’m not sure I’ll be able to stop myself from taking more than I should. Now I know why, at least.”
“Because of Adiem?” Dynan said. “You’re nothing like him. If you’re really from him, then you’re from Alurn too. Besides, it doesn’t matter. You have control over your own actions. You came and helped us get out. If you hadn’t—”
“The world would have ended,” Maralt said. “My motives weren’t especially altruistic. You don’t understand and you aren’t—”
“What do you see?” Dynan asked. “You look at me sometimes, but you’re not seeing me. What is it?”
“There’s a light around you that’s like some kind of pure energy. Around Dain too. I can see it. I can feel it make me stronger when I breathe it in and when I—” He hesitated to go on and Dynan thought he knew. He’d seen how the dogs and other creatures had reacted.
“Desire of it drives you mad,” Dynan said. “It’s like blood only not. I guess there’s some kind of energy to it.”
“It’s your soul,” Maralt said, moving to the far wall and leaning against it. “I don’t know why you have it and I don’t.”
“Everyone has a soul.”
“Not like this.”
“I won’t fight you,” Dynan said, moving to stand beside him. Maralt pushed off the wall and moved to the other side. “I won’t fight you, but you have to leave me two things.”
“Your mother,” Maralt said. “You nearly died so it makes sense that you’ll think you saw her. I may have to alter some of the details. What else?”
“I’m not finished yet,” Dynan said. “You said I had to find Alurn.”
“You did find him.”
“His body is missing. I know where he is now and his family with him. It won’t be finished if I don’t find him. All this will happen again.”
“It’ll happen again if I leave you any of it. The knowledge you have now will eat at you if you keep it,” Maralt said, but then he frowned over it when Dynan refused to back down. “Where?”
Dynan almost smiled, seeing Maralt consider the idea. Dynan explained and then showed Maralt the Temple. “I promised.”
“I don’t know how,” Maralt said, but then he muttered under his breath, thinking it through. “I could leave you the compunction. You won’t understand it. It’ll only be a feeling that you need to go look. But it won’t happen until spring so it’ll have to last.”
“Spring? Why?”
“If we don’t get this over with,” Maralt said, “you might really die before I can put you back in your own body. You’re going to be weak. I stabbed you in the heart. They basically glued the thing back together. I doubt you’ll be on your feet for a very long time.”
“You could have asked, you know,” Dynan said.
“It wouldn’t have worked,” Maralt said. “The gateway would open, sure, but you would have gone through straight to their altar. It would have been like handing you right over to them. The way it was done put you in the right place with the right people.”
Dynan knew that already and joined him on the wall again. This time when Maralt meant to move, Dynan stopped him. “It doesn’t hurt me. You breathing.”
“It makes me want more.”
Just like Adiem, Dynan thought, shivering from the thought.
“You know I can hear you, right?” Maralt said.
“I know. Sorry. He was crazy. I mean an evil, scary kind of crazy. All six of them are. They tortured me. I’m not going to mind forgetting about that. And all the dead bodies.”
Maralt looked up and Dynan saw that the edges of the room were blurred. A monochromatic gray seeped across the ceiling. “You need to stop thinking about it.”
“You’re not like them. You’re not going to torture me. I’m not going to fight you.”
“Yes, you will,” Maralt said.
Dynan saw a conversation replayed that Maralt had with Alurn before coming here, Alurn telling Maralt that Dynan would beg him to stop. He saw too that Alurn would take Maralt’s memory and he’d fight it just like they thought Dynan would.
“Will it ever be mine again?” Dynan asked, wondering what the point was if he couldn’t keep what he’d learned, not even so much the facts of history that were lost and would remain so, but of himself.
“I think so. When you’re older and you’ve been trained.”
“Are you going to teach us?”
Maralt shook his head at that. “I don’t think I can. My sister, Carryn, can do it. She’s probably better suited for it, and she’s completely in love with Dain so they’ll get along at least.”
“Figures,” Dynan said and eased himself down to the floor. There was still pain in this place. He was sore all over. “Will I see you again? Know you? Remember you ever?”
Maralt hesitated, but sat down with him. “Not for a while.”
“You’re mad he didn’t tell you,” Dynan said of the High Bishop. “About who you are. He probably couldn’t.”
“I know. It doesn’t help. I’m going to go and find a few answers for myself. I’ll see you when I come back. When you need me most, I’ll be there.”
Dynan nodded to that, and sat in silence for a moment, afraid of what was to come. He figured the longer he thought about it, the more afraid he’d get, so he nodded. “I’m ready.”
Maralt didn’t speak for a while, but he pulled in a breath finally and turned to him. “It started when you took the talon. I’m going to begin there.”
~*~
Chapter 23
Ambrose watched Maralt leave the way he’d come in, walking out into the hall as if there weren’t a dozen guards standing in his way. Melgan was there a kem off the door and looked at him as a linen changer, a third rank Medic departing after performing his duties. The fact he was carrying away clean linens registered, and the Captain turned sharply to look in the room. Ambrose gestured him over.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know anyone was in with you,” Melgan said but Ambrose brushed that off.
“I need you to do something for me,” he said, turning to Dynan, terrified everything Maralt said was true. It was hard to believe with his son lying there nearly motionless. “The doctors are going to be in soon.”
“Ambrose—”
“No, just listen. I’m not...I’m not going to do this, Melgan. The doctors, not Eldelar or Geneal, but the other doctors who owe Governor Alse whatever they owe him, and who disagree that more time is needed – they’re going to be in here—”
“Not if I don’t let them,” Melgan said.
Ambrose smiled slightly at that, envisioning a few of those doctors with their heads knocked together at Melgan’s hand. “I know. It isn’t going to come to anything like that, a physical confrontation, though I am asking you to stay here. Roth and Brendin too.”
“What are you talking about then?”
“There’s probably going to be a move to have me declared incompetent.”
“Governor Taldic won’t—”
“Alse could have a majority,” Ambrose said.
“He doesn’t.”
“He could,” Ambrose repeated. “And I’m certain he’ll have a number of doctors to back him up. I’ll have to go to the Governor’s Hall and answer their charges.”
“This is insane,” the Captain said, growing angrier by the moment. “When are we going to do away with that son of a bitch?”
“I keep trying,” Ambrose said. “Alse knows how to hide his activities too well, and he has a following. If it comes to it, if they succeed—”
“They won’t.”
“If they do, I need you to stay here and defend my son.” His voice cracked as he spoke. In front of Melgan it didn’t matter, except to make him angrier.
“You don’t need to ask.”
“There are forces at play here...” Ambrose didn’t finish the thought out loud, afraid of the possible repercussions. He sat down on the edge of Dynan’s bed. He found it harder and harder to stay on his feet. “I need Geneal Elger in here. Eldelar already knows what I need from him.”
“It isn’t going to happen.”
“I think it will. Alse may have enough support and he’s using this to inflict whatever damage he can. I’m not going to let him succeed, but Melgan, I’m afraid to leave.”
“Then don’t,” the Captain said. “Don’t do it. Don’t go. Send Kamien, and send Xavier with him. They’ll both speak for you and speak well. Xavier is a master of persuasion. No sane man would expect you to leave your son.”
“To protect him, I have to protect the Throne.”
“And it will be,” Melgan said. “For this, you’ll have to let others do the defending. Just be a father. It’s the right thing.”
For the last two years, he hadn’t managed to be much of a father at all, leaving that responsibility to others. Hearing the admonishment from Melgan, who knew the kind of pressures Ambrose faced better than anyone, cleared his mind. Ambrose nodded, looking to his son. “His life depends on how well we all do our jobs today. Ask Xavier to come in and Kamien.”
The hours dragged by. Ambrose watched over his son and watched his eldest speaking in the Governor’s Hall with passion and a kind of anger Kamien wasn’t prone to display, declaring his father in full command of his faculties. Everyone had a laugh when he said, “He doesn’t have any trouble ordering me around, for certain.” Alse thought to use him without regard for his reactions, or abilities. The Governor sat in stony silence, listening to the speech, his eyes shifting about the chamber, trying to gauge the reception.
Ambrose listened while Xavier, who for once in his life bristled with anger, berated the Governors for their lack of faith and lack of support. He pointed out by name those members who Ambrose had stood by through one crisis or the other, until many of them couldn’t meet the Lord Chancellor’s gaze any longer.
Their speeches ended and the testimony of the doctors began, one by one, coming forward to condemn Dynan to death, unable to fulfill his duties as heir, followed by the ones who said it was too early to make such a judgment, until there was an even number between them. A doctor rose at the end of a long line of them and went to the podium. Ambrose knew him to be a friend of Governor Alse. He seemed in pain almost, wincing periodically before he began speaking.
“It isn’t proper,” Dr. Korin said to the chamber, “that we should sit here in judgment of a father’s right to decide what is best for his son and for his family.”
A murmur of surprise moved through the Governors, though it was quickly hushed. Korin didn’t wait for them to settle, but seemed more pained than before.
“I’ve seen Prince Dynan, and yes, his condition is dire, and it’s hard to imagine he’ll recover from such grave wounds. But he does continue the struggle to live and it is our duty as physicians to assist him by any means possible. This isn’t about the King’s judgment being impaired, but a father’s devotion to his son. It is our duty to help him face the unimaginable and rejoice with him, if, as we all hope and pray, the unthinkable is forestalled. We shouldn’t attempt to rob him of these moments, especially if they turn out to be the last ones. As a physician, I will refuse to have anything to do with an attempt to hasten the end of one so young until all hope has failed. I don’t believe that time has come. Thank you, Governors for your considerations.”
Dr. Korin stepped down and a moment of silence followed his departure. The imagers fixed on Governor Alse, who was busy whispering to one of his compatriots. He looked angry.
“Governor Taldic,” he said, rising to his feet. He was a big, over-fed man. “I’d like to hear the testimony of Dr. Brith again. I’ve a question about one of his statements.”
“Dr. Brith has already left the chamber, Governor Alse,” Taldic responded. “The request is denied. I move we get on with the debate and the vote. Please blackout the imagers.”
A swift voice interrupted Alse’s intent to protest. “I concur.”
“Thank you, Governor Peroll. So moved.”
Time leached toward morning. The counters ticked over, telling of moments gone, one by one. Ambrose sat, occasional tremors shaking through him. He’d never felt this kind of exhaustion so even his bones ached.
There came a soft knock at the door and Melgan looked in. “Xavier is here,” he said, followed by the Lord Chancellor entering the room.
“Governor Taldic and Governor Alse are here,” Xavier said before the door closed again. “Governor Alse tells us that if he is allowed to see you and to see Dynan, he’ll have the matter dropped.”
“Well that makes no sense at all,” Ambrose said, dragging himself to his feet.
“Taldic is here with him to insure that’s all he wants.”
“He wants to talk to me,” Ambrose said. “He wants to try and convince me that I’m wrong or he’ll go back out and claim I’m out of my mind or something, Xavier.”