Chosen by Sin (26 page)

He quickened his steps. At the end of the hallway, he came to a T. The
path to the left led to a large door marked “No Entry.” Sure enough, when he
tried it, it was locked. He frowned and checked the hallway to the right. This
time, he walked quite a bit before seeing another doorway. Next to it squatted
a small figure, hands covering her face.

It was Ella. She appeared to be shaking while she struggled to hold
back tears.

Shit. Not again.

Maybe he could turn around before she saw him.

Swiftly and soundlessly, he turned on his heel and walked a few steps.
She didn’t call out to him, but she suddenly sobbed, the sound aching and lost.
It froze him in his tracks.

He swiped a hand over his face. Hell, he wasn’t going to be able to
leave with the child crying like that. Something serious could be wrong with
her.

Backtracking until he towered over her, he crossed his arms over his chest.
She seemed unaware of his presence. He sighed. “What’s wrong?”

Ella’s head jerked up and she stared at him wide-eyed before glancing
away, scrubbing furiously at her face. “Nothing.”

He harrumphed and sank down until he was sitting on the floor next to
her with his back braced against the wall.

He didn’t push her. Didn’t say anything at all. He just stared at the
wall across from them and twiddled his thumbs. He suddenly wished one of his
Para-Ops team members was here—when it came to comforting anyone, let
alone a kid, even Knox or Caleb would make more sense. Knox had kids and Caleb
was a healer. Hell, the only team member who might not be a better choice than
him was Wraith.

Ella glanced at him several times before wrapping her arms around her
knees. Her sweater sleeves, long enough to dangle past her wrists, brushed the
floor.

“I need to have tests done,” she finally said, “but they hurt. I know I
shouldn’t be such a baby about it, but—”

Dex spoke swiftly, though a lump had formed in his throat. Ella was
sick? “Fearing pain doesn’t make you a baby.”

“Really?”

“Nope.” He paused, not sure he wanted to know, but feeling compelled to
ask anyway. “These are medical tests?”

She nodded.

“And Jes says they’re necessary?”

“She’s explained why it’s important to test my blood.”

“Then you need to listen to her. She’s a doctor. She’s just trying to
help.” In fact, Dex felt better already knowing that Ella was under Jes’s care.
If there was anything to be done to help her, Jes wouldn’t give up until she’d
explored all the options.

“I know.” Ella blew out a long breath, her face scrunching up as if
thinking things through. “And I want to help. I want to help everyone. But I
wish I didn’t have to.” Her eyes welled with tears but she rapidly blinked them
away, obviously not wanting to cry in front of him again. “It just—it
hurts.”

He looked away in order to give her the privacy she needed to compose
herself. Or maybe he did it so she wouldn’t see his expression as memories
assailed him.

It hurts, Dex. It hurts.

The voice from his past filtered through his mind and he clenched his
teeth and fists in response.

The little werebeast who’d often spoken those words to him had been
named Elliott. He’d been chubby when he’d first came to the were orphanage, but
his frame had soon grown thin and frail. Elliott would always go to sleep in
his own bed the way he was supposed to, but sometimes he’d sneak into the older
boys’ wing and try to crawl into bed with one of them. He’d gotten slapped down
a time or two before he’d approached Dex. To this day, Dex still didn’t know
why, but he’d let the kid crawl into bed with him. Eventually, the boy became
comfortable enough that he’d talk rather than just sleep. He’d tell Dex the
horrors he’d encountered that day and more times than not, before he fell
asleep, he’d tell Dex how he hurt.

Dex had never known what to say to the boy to comfort him. He’d wanted
to be strong. To help. To kill the ones who hurt them. But he’d only been nine.
And he’d been scared, barely managing to handle what was happening to him. So
instead, he’d done nothing. Said nothing. Yet night after night, Elliott had
climbed into bed with Dex and talked to him.

Until the day came that Elliott couldn’t do anything anymore.

“Here’s the thing,” Dex said, still averting his gaze. “Sometimes, when
things you don’t like are happening to you, it helps to think of something
else. Another place.”

“You mean like pretending I’m at my favorite spot? Someplace nice?”

“Sure.” Although in Dex’s case, he’d mostly imagined himself somewhere
horrible, a place even worse than the orphanage. He’d told himself that what he
was enduring was only preparation for the greater suffering that might await
him. Basic training. And in a way, he’d been right. It was because of his
childhood that he’d been tough enough to survive during the War. But none of
that would be helpful to this young dragon-shifter right now. “What’s your
favorite place?” he asked.

“The river. I love the water. I feel so peaceful when I’m near it.”

Involuntarily, Dex mentally shuddered. Weres generally hated water
because it was the only thing that prevented them from shifting into their
immortal wolf form. Still, he tried to sound encouraging. “Okay, then when
you’re having your blood drawn, think of the river. That’s not being a coward,
that’s taking control. You stay the same. You just change your circumstances.”

“But the change isn’t real,” she argued.

“It’s real in your mind. Why is that so different? What happens to you
is just stuff. It’s not you and it doesn’t define you. You do the best you can,
that’s all. You can’t let outside stuff affect the way you think about
yourself.”

She didn’t look like she believed him. He had to admit, he was having a
hard time selling what he was saying. Almost everyone ended up hating
themselves because of the crappy stuff life threw at them. Lucy hated herself
because of her heat. Before recent events, Wraith had hated herself for being
the undead, unable to be touched without feeling pain. And Dex?

He resisted answering the question, but as he stared at Ella, he saw
more than a scared young Draci—he saw Elliott. For him, for her, he
forced himself to be honest.

Dex hated himself for what had happened to him and the other boys at
the orphanage. He hated the stuff he hadn’t been able to stop.

But most of all, he hated the stuff he hadn’t even tried to stop.

That’s why he’d craved revenge against his grandfather for so long, Dex
realized. Dex had disposed of the actual perpetrators. He’d even killed Ramon,
Rurik’s brother, after Dex learned about Ramon’s involvement with the
orphanage. After that, he’d needed someone else to blame besides himself.

But maybe he’d begun to forgive himself more than he’d ever realized.
Maybe that’s why he hadn’t been able to resist the temptation Jes represented.

Because somewhere along the way, he’d lost the need to hide from his
own shame, and at the same time, he’d lost his thirst for revenge.

If all he’d really wanted was to kill his grandfather, Dex hadn’t
needed to strike an immunity deal with Mahone. Hell, he knew he was capable of
killing the werewolf leader and disappearing so the authorities never caught
him. But by striking the deal with Mahone, he’d justified his place on the
Para-Ops team. What he couldn’t have known was how much he’d like it. He’d
experienced something he’d never felt, even when things had been good with the
Ferals.

For the first time in his life, he’d belonged.

Just like he belonged with Jes. Just like he belonged right now,
sitting with Ella in this hallway, helping her face something unpleasant
because it was the right thing for her. Did he really want to lose his newfound
place in the world for revenge?

No, he didn’t.

Love. He’d never thought it was something he could have.

Did Jes love him—could she love him—or was that just
wishful thinking? They hadn’t known each other long at all, yet when they were
together, the world just felt right.

She seemed to enjoy his company. Was certainly drawn to him physically.
Whether she called it love or not, or whether he called it something else, it
didn’t matter. She was his. The child in her belly was his. And if accepting
that meant he had to live in this castle and give up his plans for revenge
against his grandfather, so be it.

Abruptly, he became aware that someone was tugging on his sleeve. He
looked down, surprised to see Ella. For a second, he’d forgotten she was there.

“I asked if it works for you. Imagining you’re someplace else,” she
clarified.

“It works,” he said, his voice gruff with emotion. How could he have
known that meeting this girl was what he needed to see himself and the world so
clearly?

She sniffed and nodded. She raised her chin and pushed her sleeves up
as if readying for battle. “Okay, I’ll be brave.”

She pulled herself to her feet and walked toward the nearby door. As
she did, Dex caught sight of the skin on her arms. Inch-wide splotches of pink
and angry red dotted the otherwise smooth surface.

The splotches resembled burns. Or the scars that covered Jes’s arm. He
looked harder. They looked more like strips of healing skin, as if the top
layer had been ripped away in several places. Deliberately and methodically.

She’d said Jes tested her blood, but the wounds on her arms didn’t look
like something a disease would leave behind. They looked man-made.

“Ella, what illness do you have? Why does Jes need to take samples of
your blood?”

Ella turned her head toward him just as she reached for the door
handle. “Oh I’m not sick.”

“What do you mean you’re not sick?” He surged to his feet and held out
his hand, indicating he wanted to look at her arms. “What are those marks I
see?”

She frowned, glanced down, then gasped as if just realizing she’d shown
him something she wasn’t supposed to. She quickly pulled her sleeves in place.

“Answer me. What are those marks on your arms?”

“Nothing!” She paled to a sickly white. “I just fell down and hurt
myself. When I was doing the cartwheels.”

A bad feeling
formed in the pit of his chest. It wasn’t like that intense pain he’d felt when
a
diabol
might have possessed him. This monster
was different.

It hurts, Dex. It hurts
.

“It’s okay, Dex. It doesn’t hurt, honest.”

“Let me see your arms, Ella.” His tone brooked no disobedience.
Although Ella initially hesitated, she finally stepped closer and held out her
arms. Dex tugged up her sleeves and examined the marks. The patches ran from
her wrists to her elbows, the wounds shiny and still healing.

“These are skin graphs. Why? If you’re not sick, why would—”

“Please don’t tell Jes,” Ella pleaded, on the verge of crying again.
“Don’t tell her you saw. She’s just trying to help us.”

He struggled to get past his confusion. “Us?”

“The Draci. She wants to help us live longer and I want that, too. I
don’t care how much it hurts. I’ll do what you say and Jes will keep doing her
experiments and she’ll find a way to make us live longer. That’s all that
matters.”

“She’s experimenting on you?” Dex breathed out, his head starting to
pound.

Dex, it hurts so much.

Denial pushed into his brain and outward. He grabbed his head and
groaned. No, no. Not Jes. She made him feel good. She helped others.

Didn’t she?

He swept Ella up in his arms and ran.

WASHINGTON, D.C.

FBI HEADQUARTERS

Lucy burst into Mahone’s office with his secretary close on her heels.

“Ms. Talbot, you can’t—”

“You bastard,” she gritted out, barely restraining herself from
shouting at him. “You—you stinking piece of shit!”

“I’m so sorry, sir. I tried to stop her but she—”

“It’s all right, Kara,” Mahone said. He didn’t even bother rising from
behind his desk. Instead, he leaned back and pressed his fingertips like a
steeple against his chest. “Please close the door behind you.”

He simply stared at her, without remorse, without guilt, as Kara shut
the door.

“So what can I do for you, Lucy?”

His calm demeanor catapulted her into the stratosphere.

Before she knew what she was doing, she used her power of telekinesis
to lift Mahone out of his chair and slam him hard against the window behind
him. A spiderweb of fractures appeared in the glass. Mahone’s eyes were so round
with shock she almost laughed, but her disappointment and anger wouldn’t allow
it.

“You obviously don’t know me very well, Mahone. By nature, I’m a
pacifist, but if you needed someone willing to overlook your machinations
against the Para-Ops team members, you should never have recruited me. Because
if there’s one thing I am, it’s loyal. Let me get close to someone and I will
protect him with my life. Even if I have to protect him from you.”

“Does that go double for a male you’re fucking?” Mahone said softly.

Lucy sucked in a breath. She didn’t move. She didn’t need to. The power
of her thoughts sent Mahone hurtling into the right wall of his office. He
grunted as picture frames broke and crashed to the floor.

“Mahone!”

Someone, presumably Kara, started to open the office door, but Lucy
divided her powers in order to keep it shut. “I gave you the benefit of the
doubt with Caleb. You didn’t know any of us in the beginning, not really, so
getting him to test Wraith was halfway understandable. But you went too far
this time. Dex and I are the only active members on the team and he flew to
France despite knowing the poor reception he’d receive as a were. But he didn’t
know the half of it, did he, Mahone?”

“The were knows better than to let down his guard completely, Lucy.
Especially when it comes to me. And if he forgot that, he needed a reminder.”