Christmas at Lilac Cottage: (#1 White Cliff Bay) (19 page)

Penny giggled. ‘I’ll leave my clothes on, let’s just take the necessary bits off.’

Henry nodded as he moved his hands to her jeans. He undid the button and slowly unzipped her fly. But when he went to push them off her hips, it was quite clear her straddling position was not conducive to the removal of clothes.

She shuffled around so she was leaning her back against the car door and her legs were sideways across his lap, her feet in the passenger seat, as she wriggled to get her jeans off. Henry tried to help her, dragging them down her thighs, and taking her pants with them. There was just no room to manoeuvre at all.

‘Let’s go in the back,’ Henry said, clearly getting very frustrated.

She quickly clambered off him, with her jeans still round her knees, fell through the gap between the seats and landed face down with her front on the back seat and her legs still in the front. This wasn’t sexy at all. Or romantic. Henry was still trying to wrestle her skinny jeans off her legs. He gave one big yank and they came off as he fell against the wheel, sounding the horn yet again. She quickly tried to arrange herself in a better position on the back seat as Henry was fiddling with the heating controls and then he moved into the back with her. But though there was enough room for her to lie across the back seat there wasn’t room for him. He knelt between her legs, his back, neck and head folded under the roof of the car; it didn’t look comfortable at all. She shifted back so her head was resting against the window to try to give him more space, but that hurt her neck. Henry didn’t exactly look like he was enjoying himself either.

He leaned up and spent a good minute trying to prise a condom out of his jeans pocket.

‘Why did you take a condom to dinner with Daniel and Maggie?’ Penny said, leaning up to try to help him. ‘Did you think it was that kind of dinner party?’

‘I thought I might try and sneak into your house when I got back, if Daisy was asleep.’

‘Planning ahead, I like it.’

He managed to get the condom out, ripped it open with his teeth and slid it on.

‘This isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, is it,’ Penny said, trying to shuffle back even more, to give him more room. He slid his hands under her bum, lifting her and folding her into a very odd angle, and she hooked one leg round his back and one over the back seat. He thrust into her just as a pair of headlights turned into the little service road, heading straight towards them. Frozen in the moment, she looked out the window over Henry’s shoulder and spotted the silhouette of the blue lights on top of the car as it came closer.

‘It’s the police.’

‘Crap.’ Henry pulled out and managed with some difficulty to do his jeans back up, over his impressive bulge. He grabbed her jeans from the front of the car and quickly managed to pull them on her, dragging them up to her knees as the car stopped right behind them and a policeman got out. Penny laughed as she tried to force the jeans up the rest of her thighs, lord knows where her pants were, hopefully nowhere in sight. She managed to do the button up on her jeans just as the policeman knocked on the window. Even fully clothed, with their position in the back of the car, it was very clear what they had been doing, or about to do. Henry backed up and shuffled into a sitting position and Penny did too and then Henry opened the back door. The policeman leaned in and Penny was mortified to see it was Bob, one of her dad’s oldest friends.

Bob flushed as soon as he saw her. He quickly addressed his attention to Henry instead, pretending she wasn’t there.

‘Sir, I saw your hazard warning lights flashing as I drove past and I came to see if there was a problem.’

‘No problem, officer,’ Henry said. ‘We were just going to go for a walk, see if we could spot some deer.’

‘Right.’

Bob glanced over to Penny again and he nodded at her. ‘Penny, are you OK?’

‘Yes, Bob, I’m fine. Sorry to worry you, we just stopped to see the sights.’ Her hair was a tangle around her face, her shirt was all ridden up round her stomach, her shoes were off and she knew her skin was flushed; even in the illumination of the interior car light, she knew Bob had spotted all these things. She looked like she had just had the best sex of her life, which unfortunately was not the case. She had never been so embarrassed before.

‘How’s your dad? I was going to call him this weekend actually.’

Oh god, she couldn’t imagine how that conversation was going to go.

‘He’s fine. Italian life suits them.’

Bob nodded and there was an awkward silence. ‘Well, it’s a bit chilly tonight for a walk. There’s talk of snow too so maybe you two should get off home. You don’t want to be driving these roads when they are icy.’

Henry nodded and, after a few more awkward moments, Bob shuffled off, closing the door behind him.

Henry sighed and clambered into the front. Penny giggled as he picked her pants off the steering wheel and passed them to her in the back along with her shoes. She shoved her feet into her shoes and her pants in her pocket and climbed in the front seat with him.

He started the car, turned the lights on and drove up the little service road. Embarrassingly, Bob followed them, clearly escorting them out so they didn’t stop on the way to have more bad sex.

They pulled out onto the main road and Henry reached for her hand. ‘I’m sorry that was absolutely rubbish, though honestly, I don’t see how it could have been anything else. Whenever you hear about people having sex in cars it always seems much sexier than it actually is.’

Penny let out a giggle which then turned into a full-on laugh. ‘It’s been one of the funniest nights I’ve had in a long time.’

Henry frowned. ‘Now that’s a compliment I’ve never had before, the funniest shag I’ve ever had.’

‘We can’t all be Casanova, Henry.’ Penny patted him consolingly.

‘I’ll do better next time.’

‘I should hope so, because that was over way too quick for my liking.’

Henry continued to scowl all the way home.

They pulled up on the drive and Henry gave her a quick kiss goodnight, round the side of the house where they couldn’t be spotted by Daisy, if she was still awake. Then he disappeared into his house.

Penny let herself in through her back door and Bernard gave her a cursory wag of the tail, before trotting out into the garden to relieve himself.

She saw the light go off in Henry’s lounge and watched as his dark shadow disappeared upstairs.

It had been a wonderful night. With Henry’s tactility over dinner, she had caught a fleeting glimpse at what life would be like when they were properly together and she liked the look of it a lot. But beyond that the humorous side of their relationship was something she had never expected when she first met him.

Bernard came back in and threw himself down on the sofa. Penny locked the door and stalled when she saw two plates of cake crumbs and two glasses on the kitchen table. She had said to Daisy that she was welcome to sit with Bernard and watch TV in front of the fire, and to help herself to cake as there was still loads of it, but that didn’t explain why there were two plates instead of one. Had Daisy had a friend round? Feeling slightly confused, she went to bed.

She lay in her room staring at the ceiling, letting her eyes become accustomed to the dark, when suddenly there was a shadow in the room with her.

Her heart leapt into her throat for a brief second before she recognised the sheer bulk of Henry, getting undressed.

‘What are you doing here?’

‘Finishing what we started. Daisy’s fast asleep, nothing will wake her when she’s that deeply asleep,’ Henry said, as he lifted the duvet and climbed in next to her. He was already deliciously naked and she delighted in running her hands over his velvety skin as he quickly undressed her. ‘Besides, I still have that condom we tried to use earlier, I reckon it’s still good.’

Penny burst out laughing, so loud and so hard that she was sure she might wake Daisy up next door. Henry moved on top of her and she could feel his body shaking as he laughed too, though the laugh quickly turned into a groan of pleasure with what he did next.

H
enry was just sitting
down to breakfast when Daisy emerged. She was up much earlier than normal but he knew she was a bit nervous about popping into her new school later that afternoon. Her theory was that everyone was breaking up for Christmas and would be in a good mood and probably much more open to having a new girl appear amongst them.

‘Good night last night?’ Daisy asked.

He smiled as he remembered the disaster which was the car sex. ‘Yes, it was fun.’

Daisy sat down and frowned and he wondered what was bothering her. ‘Do you like Penny?’

Oh crap. He didn’t want to lie to her but he didn’t want to allude to anything either.

‘Yes I do.’

‘I don’t know whether I should tell you this or not but I think you should know. I think her date with Fabio last night went very well.’

Henry frowned in confusion and then remembered that Daisy genuinely believed that that was where Penny had gone the night before. He would just tell her they were joking around and that he’d had dinner with her and Maggie and Daniel.

‘I heard her when she came in.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well, I heard you come back and go to your room and shortly after she must have come back, with Fabio.’

Henry felt himself go very still.

‘What did you hear?’

‘Dad, I heard her having sex. It was so embarrassing, but it was very obvious she was enjoying herself. And Fabio was grunting away and moaning too.’

Henry stared at her in shock. There had never been a time in his life that he had been more embarrassed than he was now. He had no words with which to fill the silence, there was nothing he could say at all.

‘They were at it for ages and then when they stopped, they started again half hour later, the man has amazing stamina. He clearly is an Italian stallion.’

It couldn’t get any worse. His daughter had heard him having sex. She had heard him groaning, moaning, panting and shouting out when he had orgasmed. Twice.

He stood up and moved to the toaster, putting in her favourite crumpets and then flicking on the kettle so she wouldn’t have to see his face which he was sure was burning red.

‘I’m sorry, Dad.’

Henry shrugged, still with no words to say.

‘Do you want jam on your crumpets?’ he finally said, hoping with everything he had that would be the end of it.

P
enny knocked softly
on the connecting door, which felt a bit weird considering what she had got up to the night before with her friendly neighbour. There was no answer so she popped her head around the door. There was a noise in the kitchen so she followed it. She smiled when she saw Daisy dancing around as she tidied up, listening to her iPod and singing along, by the sounds of it, to Ed Sheeran.

She walked in and tapped her on the shoulder. Daisy smiled at her and removed her headphones.

‘Hey, I just wanted to wish you good luck today at school. They are going to love you, I promise you that.’

‘Aw thanks,’ Daisy said, throwing her arms around her and hugging her tight. Penny smiled with love for her and hugged her back. ‘I am a bit nervous, but I’m only there for a few hours. I think the worst day will be the first one after Christmas, when they’ll all be staring at me like I’m an animal in a zoo.’

‘You should totally learn to balance a ball on your nose then, that will give them something to talk about.’

Daisy laughed. ‘I’m so excited that Mr Cartwright is going to be my form teacher too, he is so cool.’

‘You will love him, but I bet all the children are going to be cool too.’

Daisy moved back to the table as she wiped it down with a cloth, capturing the crumbs with her hand.

‘So… good date last night?’

Penny stared at her in confusion for a second before she realised what Daisy meant. She felt bad for leading her to believe she was going out with Fabio when she had only been joking with Henry about going out with him.

‘Oh honey, I was only messing around. I didn’t really go out with Fabio. I went for dinner round my friend Maggie’s place. Weirdly, her husband Daniel had invited your dad too and we didn’t know the other was going…’ She trailed off as Henry appeared in the doorway behind Daisy and started gesturing frantically.

‘You went to dinner with Dad?’ Daisy asked in confusion.

Henry was still waving his arms around but Penny had no idea what he was trying to say. ‘Erm, yes.’

‘He didn’t say when I saw him this morning.’

‘Maybe your dad thought that you might think it was a double date, when it definitely wasn’t. It was just weird that Maggie invited me and Daniel invited your dad and they didn’t know.’

‘But… I heard you last night.’

‘You heard me?’

Daisy blushed. ‘Having sex.’

Oh god. Oh no. No, no, no, no, no.

‘I told Dad I heard you and Fabio… at it last night and he seemed really upset.’

Henry had given up gesturing now.

What could she say to rescue this scenario? That Fabio had come round for a late-night booty call? That she’d had incredible sex with Daisy’s dad and all the grunts and moans were in fact him? There was nothing that she could say that would make this horrible situation any better. Suddenly she had a brainwave. It wasn’t the best idea, hell it was probably the worst idea in the history of all ideas, but it was the only thing she had.

‘I wasn’t having sex, Daisy.’

‘But I heard you.’

Penny worked her tongue around her mouth trying to create some moisture. ‘I was watching porn.’

Daisy stared at her in horror. Henry stumbled out of the room, backwards, gripping his mouth really hard so Daisy wouldn’t hear him laugh. The clock ticked on the kitchen wall and no one said anything. Penny hadn’t wanted Daisy to think that she was sleeping around, especially if she and Henry were going to come out the couple closet in a week or so. She wanted Daisy to know that she was serious about her dad and that he wasn’t just a fling to her. But surely this was worse than Fabio coming round for a late-night booty call and now any respect that Daisy had for her had gone.

‘You were watching porn?’

‘Well no, not really. I put the telly on in the bedroom and fell asleep. I woke up an hour later and this couple were at it like rabbits on the screen, shouting and moaning and he was grabbing her breasts. They were sweaty and oily and…’ Oh god, she was talking about porn with a sixteen year old. ‘It was quite disgusting.’ No, not disgusting, she didn’t want Daisy to think that there was anything wrong or dirty about sex. ‘I mean, not disgusting, sex isn’t disgusting with two people that love each other, it’s beautiful.’ Penny heard a whimper of laughter from the other room. ‘But the oily couples were a bit disgusting, couple, just one couple, it wasn’t an orgy. Porn films always seem to grease their couples up to make them look all shiny, I don’t know how sex is possible when they are so slippery, surely the man would just slip straight off the woman and the sheets must be covered in it afterwards. The oil I mean not…
it
.’ She had to stop talking but the nerves had completely disengaged her mouth from her brain now. ‘I just don’t get why porn films think that’s attractive but they all seem to have these glossed, shiny bodies. Not that I’ve watched a lot of porn, you understand. I mean I haven’t watched any. I never watch it. But I’ve seen it. Accidentally. Late at night it’s been on. The soft stuff, not hard core porn obviously. Just, you know, a lot of moaning and repair men turning up to fix a leaky washing machine and the couple end up doing it on the kitchen floor. That kind of stuff. That I never watch. Ever. But yes, it was on when I woke up and I turned it off immediately because it was disgusting, erm, the oiliness that is.’

Silence again, punctuated by tiny whimpers coming from the other room.

‘So, I need to go and walk Bernard.’

Daisy nodded, numbly.

‘Good luck for, erm…later.’

Still no words from Daisy and Henry clearly wasn’t going to help her out.

‘I thought perhaps we could go Christmas tree shopping later, you guys need a tree and we could go and pick one and then you and your dad can decorate it.’

Daisy nodded again and Penny walked out, flashing an evil glare at Henry as she left who was biting into a cushion to try to stop the laughter from spilling out.

P
enny saw
Henry pull back up onto the drive later, after he had dropped Daisy off at school. She hadn’t seen him all morning, which she was thankful for. She had never been more embarrassed in her life.

He walked round the back of the house and grinned when he saw her, letting himself into her kitchen.

‘Hi,’ he said.

‘I hate you.’

He burst out laughing. ‘What did you want me to do?’

‘You could have helped me.’

‘You were doing fine on your own.’

She laughed with embarrassment. ‘I talked to your daughter about porn.’

‘Well yes, probably not your finest moment, but I haven’t laughed like that in forever.’

‘I’ve probably scarred her for life.’

‘I doubt it, she’s a hardy sort. Besides, she does know about sex, it’s not like she leads a sheltered existence. I’ve made sure I’ve talked to her about all that. I don’t want her to end up pregnant at sixteen like her mum did.’

‘She thinks I watch porn.’

‘Oh no, I think she’s very clear that you find porn disgusting.’

She couldn’t stop laughing. ‘Did she say anything to you after?’

‘No, she was probably too traumatised to say anything.’

Penny took a swipe at him and he ducked out the way, laughing loudly.

‘It’s not funny.’

‘It really is.’ He caught her by the waist and tried to kiss her on the forehead but he was laughing too much.

‘Stop laughing.’ Though Penny was laughing so hard, tears were running down her cheeks. ‘You do realise we’ll never be able to have sex again whilst she’s in the house.’

‘Oh, I don’t know about that, you’re just going to have to work really hard at being extra quiet.’

‘Me?’ Penny laughed incredulously. ‘You’re very vocal. You shout a lot.’

‘You scream, that’s probably scarred her more than anything.’

‘Oh god. We can do it quietly, can’t we?’

‘Yes, I’m sure we can and there’ll be times when she isn’t here and we can be as noisy as we like. So let’s make the most of it now.’

She laughed.

He shuffled her back against the table and kissed her hard. She quickly realised he wasn’t joking as he lifted her onto the table and attacked her clothes with great relish.

Suddenly a movement caught her eye over his shoulder and Penny stared in horror into the eyes of another woman.

‘Henry, stop.’

‘Not likely.’

‘There’s someone outside.’

Henry whirled around, protecting her half-naked body from view. Thankfully it was only the top half that was undressed and she still had her bra on but it was quite obvious this woman had seen what they were doing.

Henry laughed nervously. ‘That’s my sister, Anna.’

‘Shit.’

Anna was frozen to the spot, staring at them both.

Henry looked back at Penny and smiled shyly. ‘Why don’t you put your clothes back on and meet us next door for a coffee? I’m sure she will be delighted to meet you at last. Daisy has told her all about you.’

Henry turned back to Anna, still protecting Penny from being seen and pointed to his house. Anna walked off, clearly not happy.

‘She doesn’t look delighted to meet me,’ Penny said.

‘Anna’s lovely. I love her to bits and she’s helped out so much with Daisy over the years. But occasionally she can be a right judgemental pain in the ass.’

‘Well, as first impressions go, this isn’t a good one,’ Penny muttered, yanking her top back over her head. ‘Coupled with what Daisy will undoubtedly tell her about me watching porn, I’m going to go down a storm at family events.’

Henry kissed her briefly on the lips. ‘She will love you, just like I do.’

He ran off through the connecting door before Penny could say anything. She stared at the door as it closed.

Did he just say he loved her?