Christmas in Eternity Springs (18 page)

Excitement hummed through Jax's blood as he pulled his car to a stop at the curb in front of Lara's home in Seattle on the twenty-third of December. He'd been on a boat for the past ten months, and as a result, hadn't seen his son since Valentine's Day. Ten months was a significant chunk of the life of a six-year-old, especially when the boy's mother didn't send the pictures and updates Jax had requested. His need to see his son was a living, breathing being inside him.

He bounded up the front steps and rang the doorbell precisely at ten
A.M.
, the time he'd told Lara to expect him in the e-mail they'd exchanged a week ago about the arrangements. He was prepared for Lara to be difficult about this. She hadn't responded to any of the e-mails he'd sent over the past two days that asked questions about supplies he would need during the eight days Nicholas would be with him. More than likely, he'd be winging this visit, but that was okay. He was a submariner. He'd been trained to handle a nuclear accident on a sub. He could deal with any surprises a six-year-old boy threw his way.

Then Nicholas's stepfather opened his front door and threw out a surprise that Jax never anticipated.

“What do you mean, they're not here?” Jax demanded.

“I thought you were Mr. Brilliant.” James Karston sneered. “What's so difficult to understand? They're gone. Outta here. Vamoosed. Lara took the kid and left me. She left me three effing days before Christmas!”

She's trying to keep Nicholas from me, he thought. Fury ignited in Jax's gut. Grimly, he asked, “Is she with her parents?”

“Hell if I know. She probably did go home to Daddy. She could have climbed on a rocket ship to the moon. The woman is batshit crazy.”

The first wave of unease rippled through Jax. “Why do you say that?”

“Because she is! She's been this way ever since she lost the baby in August.”

She'd lost a child? Jax hadn't known that. The fact gave his heart a little twist. Before their marriage fell apart, he'd wanted more children. She'd refused to consider it.

Karston started to slam the door in Jax's face, but Jax stuck his foot inside to prevent it. “Have you called her parents' house?”

“Hell, no. Let her run to Mommy and Daddy. I don't care anymore.”

The Hardcastle home would be Jax's first stop. He fully expected to find her and Nicholas there, but just in case … “What's she driving?”

“If I tell you will you go the hell away and leave me alone?”

“I'll leave.” Though he might come back if she wasn't at her parents' and he needed more information—like access to her credit cards—in order to track her.

“She's in a sweet little BMW hybrid. I gave it to her for our anniversary. How stupid am I?”

“Tags?”

Jax committed the license tag number to memory and turned away as the door slammed. Back in his car, he took a few minutes to rein in his temper before he began the fifteen-minute drive to the Hardcastles'. He wasted those few minutes because by the time he arrived at his former in-laws' home, he was loaded for bear.

No one answered the doorbell. He walked around the house peeking in the windows and saw no signs of life.

Nor did he see a Christmas tree.

The sound of a shotgun being racked behind him was unmistakable.

“What in sam blazes do you think you're doing, young fellow?”

Jax pinpointed the voice. The neighbor. The widowed rancher from Montana who'd moved in with his daughter's family after his wife died. He raised his hands away from his body and slowly turned to face him. “Mr. Waggoner? I'm Nicholas's father.”

“Navy man. Submariner.”

“Yessir.”

The Montanan lowered the shotgun. “What you doin' snoopin' around the Hardcastle place, son?”

“I'm looking for Lara. I was supposed to pick up Nicholas from her house this morning, and they're not there. Have you seen them?”

“Miss Lara? No. No. Not for quite some time. She and her folks have had a falling-out. Brian and Linda are heartbroken about it. They haven't seen the boy since Halloween. They've gone to Hawaii for Christmas to get away. Left yesterday afternoon.”

That bit of news left Jax speechless. “Perhaps they reconciled. Maybe Lara went with them to Hawaii.”

“Well, if she did, her mother didn't know anything about it when she came over yesterday and had a cup of coffee with my Cecilia. She was right upset about not seeing her girl on Christmas.”

What the hell, Lara? Was this the same woman who had refused to meet him in Tahiti—Tahiti!—for his R & R because it meant she'd miss Christmas with her parents?

Jax needed to get in touch with Brian Hardcastle, but the only number he had for the man was their landline. “Did they leave an emergency number with you, by any chance?”

“I don't know. Come on inside and ask Cecilia.”

Ten minutes later he left the Hardcastles' neighbor's house with Brian Hardcastle's cell number, a sackful of homemade chocolate chip cookies, and a heightened sense of anxiety.

He climbed into his car, took a moment to compose his question, then placed the call.

He awakened Lara's father from a sound sleep. “Lancaster. How the hell did you get my number?” Before Jax could respond, Brian added, “Oh, no. Is it Nicholas? Did something bad happen to Nicholas?”

“No.” Jax damned sure hoped the answer was no. “That's not why I'm calling. I'm trying to locate Lara.”

“Why? You sure nothing's wrong with Nicholas?”

“I haven't seen Nicholas,” Jax snapped. In crisp, concise sentences, he relayed the events of the morning, ending with, “I expected they would be with you.”

“No.” Brian's tone was clipped. “She left James? This is worse than we realized.”

Jax's unease spiked at the admission.

“We invited Lara and James to join us in Hawaii, but she didn't want to come with us.”

There was no love lost between Jax and Brian Hardcastle, but the worry Jax heard in Brian's voice convinced him that his former father-in-law was telling the truth. Jax verbalized his one hope. “Maybe she plans to surprise you.”

“I don't see how. We never told her where we are staying.”

Jax dragged a hand down his face. What the hell have you done, Lara?

It was a question he repeated often over the next twenty-four hours. Then, forty-eight. Then, seventy-two. Christmas came and went without any sign, anywhere, of his ex-wife and son.

Now two years later, he still asked the same question. Sharing the story with Claire, his voice went rough as he relived the torment of those dark days.

“We reported her missing to the police, but that was mostly a waste of time. She was an adult who'd left her spouse. Besides, it was Christmas. Everyone was too busy spiking their eggnog to worry about a woman who'd had a fight with her husband.”

“I can't imagine how horrible that must have been for you, Jax. I hate when policies prevent people from listening. There was a child involved!”

“I tried to play the kidnapping card, but it went nowhere. I hired a private investigator and the Hardcastles flew home from Hawaii. Brian had social ties with the police chief, so he was able to light a fire under the authorities and get the search taken seriously. They were the longest four and a half days of my life.”

“How were they found?” Claire asked.

“By the grace of God. Honestly, Claire. I had begun to despair. She wasn't using her credit cards. We got no response when we pinged her phone. It was as if they'd disappeared off the face of the map. Then at nine-seventeen on the morning of the twenty-seventh, a call came in from Idaho.”

His throat tightened up, and he paused a moment until he figured he could speak without his voice wobbling. “Snowmobilers had discovered the wreck. She'd gone off a mountain road. The car slid thirty feet down the side of a mountain and slammed into a tree. She died of blunt force trauma. The doctors told us that she probably didn't live through the crash.”

Claire placed a comforting hand on his knee. “Nicholas?”

“He must have been in his booster seat. Physically, he suffered a few scrapes and bruises—mostly from when the rear side airbags deployed.”

“The airbags caused those scars on his ankle?”

Jax closed his eyes and sucked in a deep breath. He recalled his first glimpse of the damage done to his son's ankle and leg when a nurse changed his bandages following his surgery. “No. The snowmobilers saw animal tracks in the snow. They couldn't identify them, and by the time the rescue crew got finished, the tracks had been obliterated. Best we could figure was that at some point, Nicholas got out of the car and was attacked. Wolves or wild dogs.”

Claire covered her mouth with her hands. “Oh, Jax. My heart just breaks for him. For you both.”

“An analysis of the time and distance they traveled and, frankly, the decomposition of Lara's corpse, proved that he'd been trapped in that car with his mother's body for days. He didn't utter a word for weeks afterward.”

Jax rose and paced the room, lost in the memory of that horrific time. The Hardcastles' collapse. The funeral. Nicholas's pallor and his pain and silent suffering.

Jax's own despair after opening that first hospital bill.

His fury when the navy deemed him mission critical and refused his request for early discharge.

“I could have used your positive-thoughts journal during those months, Claire.”

She made a little whimper, drawing his glance. A pair of tears trailed slowly down her cheeks.

Jax's heart warmed. He couldn't resist a woman who would cry over his little boy's pain. Not that he wanted to resist her.

I want to win her. Keep her. Marry her.

The truth of the thought rocked him. What the hell? Marriage! What in the world was he thinking? This was a fling, not a relationship. That had been clear from the very beginning. They hadn't even been on a date yet. He hadn't slept with her. How could his mind possibly go to marriage?

Because your mind follows your heart, Lancaster. It always has. Always will.

Damn, he was in trouble.

“I can't imagine. I think I would have melted into a messy blubbering puddle. How afraid you must have been.”

“Terrified.”

That part hadn't really changed.

The breakup with Lara had nearly destroyed him, both financially and emotionally. He didn't have it in him to go down that road again, not even with someone who did it for him as much as Claire Branham did.

Oh, get your head out, Lancaster.
Talk about borrowing trouble. He had them married and divorced before their first date!

Jax was almost glad when Claire asked another question. “It's obvious why Nicholas developed a fear of dogs. I guess he associates the accident with Christmas?”

“Yes. After he got out of the hospital in Idaho, he went to live with his grandparents in Seattle.” Jax told her a little about his futile battle to secure an early discharge and the panicked phone call he'd received the day after his sub arrived in port in Hawaii. Speaking of the events catapulted him into the past.

“What do you mean he's catatonic?” Jax demanded of Brian Hardcastle.

“Linda took him to a charity event this afternoon and when they walked into the building, he froze and went stiff and … away. He just checked out, Lancaster. No reason. No warning.”

Jax rubbed his temples between his thumb and forefingers and tried to make sense of what he was hearing. “What sort of building was it? What type of charity event?”

“It's an exhibit hall in the convention center. Nothing special about it. The event was her sorority's Christmas in August Craft Fair.”

“Christmas,” Jax repeated. Sonofabitch! What the hell had Linda been thinking? “He must have had a flashback.”

“Whatever is going on, it's lasted six hours.”

And I'm just NOW getting a phone call? “What's the prognosis?”

“The damned doctors can't tell us a blessed thing. I'm headed back up to the hospital now. Came home to change clothes and found your message on the landline. Thought I should call since you're on land. I'll e-mail you updates as we get them.”

Jax went straight to his commanding officer and begged leave. Six hours later, he went wheels up on a military transport headed to Southern California. From there he caught a commercial flight to Seattle and arrived at the hospital just in time for evening rounds the following day.

Nicholas had opened his eyes, but he had yet to interact with anyone. The doctors had concluded he should be transferred to a psychiatric hospital, and Brian jumped in and began making arrangements. Jax let him. He took a seat beside Nicholas's bed and held his hand. Throughout an interminable night, he didn't let go.

At 4:22, Nicholas made his first sound, a little soulful moan. Jax rose from his chair and stepped toward the bed. “Hey, buddy.”

“Daddy?”

“I'm here, buddy.”

“No. No. No. No. No.” Nicholas kept his eyes scrunched closed, grabbed the blanket, and pulled it over his head. “You're not real. You're one of the monsters. My daddy's far, far away.”