Christmas Kisses (2 page)

CHAPTER

2

RYAN

Going to
hear
a college
band play on
Friday night
s has
became a habit. I pile
in a car with a group of guys. W
e
ha
ng out
at the bar
until
we’re thrown out at close. Tonight
,
we’re
late. T
he guys pour through a side door and slip into the seats along the far back wall
.
It’s shitty seating, but it’s not like we’re there to ogle the band.

A
prickling sensation slid
es up my spine. I look around the bar to see
what caused it
.
Nothing’s different than usual. The place is packed with the normal crowd, plus a few new faces.
I don’t feel eyes on me
. It was more like a premonition that something was about to happen.

I
le
an back in my seat and listen
,
chatting to the guys and ordering the normal assortment of greasy bar food. M
y mind
keeps
drifting to my
ex
-girlfriend and wondering how another relationship crumbled into dust. The girl was perky with perfectly straight platinum hair that fell to her sho
ulders with big blue eyes. Without warning, my mind shifts to Holly Connelly. I can still picture her in my mind, even though it’s
been nearly five months
since I saw her last
.

She disappeared wi
thout a word
. It stung much more than
I
thought it
w
ould have
, not that she had to tell me
.
We were friends, sort of. I liked talking to her when she was around, and stuff never got past that.
Holly was the girl I
wanted
back in high school
, but things ne
ver worked out that way. When I
was dating someone
, she was free. When I broke up, then Holly
was dating someone. It was like fate kept
us
apart. All this time, Holly was burned into
my
brain. I had no idea how much I wanted her, until she was gone.

Life sucks like that. As soon as I wake up enough to realize what I want, it slips between my fingers. I press my
knuckles
to my temple and rub.
Stop thinking about her.
She’s not coming back and it’s not like I can call her.
I do
n’t even have her number.

Greg leans over to me, “Stop it.” He knows I’m thinking about her, how hung up I am. I keep trying to move on, but I can’t.
Greg’s known me too long. He can catch my mood without a damn word. Sometimes it’s good, but most of the time it feels
like
an invasion.

“What?” I whisper, dropping my hand from my face and looking at him like he’s wrong.

He hisses, “You’re thinking about her. Stop it
.” Greg doesn’t say anything about it again
.

The kid on
stage, Matt, is rocking his solos. When they
finish for the night
, we all stand and clap. I start to look around to see who else is here
now that
the lights are brighter
. Several of the girls from the high
school drive out every week, including Ma
ndy
.

I’m glancing across the
aisle
when I see Mandy
twisting
he
r
way through the crowd
and head
ing
straight for the stage. I smile. She has a thing for Matt, but Matt seems to have no clue. I continue to turn, looking to see who Mandy came with this time. My breath catches in my throat. Glee and dread crash into each other inside my chest.

Holly.

She’s
at a table in the back
and alone.
I know what Greg will say if he sees me talking to her, but I don’t care. Holly can screw with my brain
,
and any
other
part of me that she wants. I’d throw myself at her feet if she’d have me, but she
doesn’t think of me that way. I
’ve been stuck in the friend zone
for three long years
.

I
rise and weave my way to the side of the bar, trying to stay out of sight. I move
between people, my eyes staying glued to her the entire time. My God, she looks
gorgeous
. When I first met her, she was fifteen and cute. Now she’s nearly nineteen—her birthday is on Christmas Eve—and she’s a goddess. Her long dark hair hangs in waves that reach to her waist. She’s wearing a black dress that clings to her curves, showing off her narrow waist
,
and
perfect
hips. She’s
watching
Mandy and doesn’t see me, not yet. I move toward her, like a panther
ready to pounce. I wonder what to
say, if I can act calm a
nd not drool on her too much
.

I
bob and weave
between people and walk
up beside
her.
Remaining at a distance,
I lower my head and let my
hair fall in my eyes.
She’s a few feet away. Only
a hand full of people are
between us.
Slipping my
hands in my pockets, I wonder
ho
w
stupid this is. Holly gets
to me like no one else
, but I can’t ignore her. I lift my gaze and look at her. My heart pounds harder. Determination floods through me. This might be the last chance I have to talk to her.

As if she can sense my gaze, Holly lifts her head and turns. Her brown eyes search through the crowd and stop when she sees me. Her pink l
ips part slightly, like she did
n’t expect
to see
me.

I move
toward her. I won’t talk long, j
ust long enough to hear her voice, to see her face again.

CHAPTER

3

HOLLY

Ryan walks
across the room
until he stops in front of me. “Holly,” he breathes my name.
“I didn’t think you’d be here tonight.”

Eve
rything about him is appealing and
makes
me
think
of his skin s
liding against mine, slick and hot
.
I’m still standing. I don’t know what to do with my hands. I wiggle my fingers, nervously
,
and look past him.
I nod, half smiling, not really listening.
Panicking
.
Where is Mandy?
“
Mandy wanted to come
.”

Ryan nods and speaks. H
is
voice washes over me in a hot wave
that
makes my insides twist and my knees buckle. I lift my hands from the
table
in front of
me, worried that he’ll notice that I’m
shaking. I
fold
my arms over my chest
to conceal it. Ryan’s
blue gaze drifts to my arms, taking in the sweep of my breasts as they are pushed up. I refuse to move. Mandy will save me. This conversation won’t happen. I keep telling mys
elf that as he talks to me, as Ryan
manages to get hold of my hands, as he makes me melt with each passing moment.

“I can’t believe you’re here. It’s been s
o long and I didn’t think that—”

Ryan’s friends have been shooting him impatient looks.
One of them
finally calls out, “
Ry
!
Come on!” Ryan turns and looks back at them, saying, “Yeah, give me a sec.”

“You better go,” I say. It comes out way too breathy.

My skin prickles when he looks at me. Ryan
’
s gaze drifts from my eyes to my lips and back again. His hands
are holding mine on top of the table
, hi
s thumbs stroking the back of my palm
. My heart is pounding in my ears and all I can think is that this is going to mess with me so bad. The entire break and probably three months after, I’m going be
analyzing
everything he said, everything he did.
He’s everything I want, and nothing I can have.

I can’t take it any
more. I look up on stage and Mandy’s eyes meet mine. She sees me talking to Ryan and gives
me a weak smile. My eyes widen a little as I realize that she’s
already
seen Ryan standing here, and didn’t save me like she said
she would. A flash of
anger blasts through me. Mandy may mean well, but this was so not cool.

Ryan smiles softly, his dark lashes lowering to the floor.
When he glances up at me
,
my heart stops.
“They can wait. I see them every day. I haven’t seen you in months. You look beautiful, Holly.” His eyes move slowly up my body, starting at my hips, taking in the curve
s to the small
of my waist, and then drifting slowly up to the swell of my breasts, and finally meeting my gaze.

There’s no air in the room. Someone stole it all.

I stand there, eyes locked with his, completely brainless. I’m all
pheromones
and lust. If another guy did that, I would have punched him
, but when Ryan does it, it mak
e
s
me want more. His hands slip
up my forearms and before I kno
w it, he
pulls
me in
to a hug. Our shoulders brush
together, but
one of the seats gets between us. That’s the only thing keeping
the rest of our bodies apart. He brushes a light kiss against my cheek. When I pull away his eyes are burning like blue flames. He wants me. I feel it coursing throu
gh my body, but I can’t
.

“Thanks,” I whisper an
d look up at him
.

I’m about to say that I need to go when his friends
all start in on him in unison. Somehow, after that hug, m
y hands have drifted to his and I’m holding his forearm, feeling the
mu
s
cle beneath his shirt.
My
touch
is light
,
as I run my finger back a
n
d forth on th
e back side of his wrist,
under the cuff
,
feeling his smooth skin.

Ryan stands there, his eyes glued to mine
like he’s in a trance.
His lips part like he’s going to say something, but they call him again.
“I better go,” he finally says
,
and looks down at my hand. When his gaze lifts back up to my face, I don’t know what to do.

So
I nod, and say, “Okay
.”

They shout his name now, but Ryan just stands there, staring at me. I arch an eyebrow at him and tilt my head. I release
Ryan’s
hands and he steps back from me, his gaze resting on my hips for a moment. “
I’m glad I saw you again.
” When he looks back up at me, I can’t breathe.
“Do you
want to
get out of here?”
Did he mean what I think he means?

I don’t want to smile. I fight it, but the right corner of my lips goes up without my consent.
My brain is yelling
,
Hell no
!
,
but my body thinks it’s a smashingly good idea. I find myself shaking my head slowly,
“I
can’t. I
came with Mandy
.”
Thank God for that. An excuse that isn’t flimsy. I’m her ride home.

His gaze is so hot that I can’t stand it, but I don’t want to look away either. “You drove
her
here?”

I nod.
“Yeah.”
Ryan
nods
his head gently
,
like he’s moving in slow motion. His lips
part, but before he can speak, M
andy is behind me.

She throws her arm around my shoulder and pinches my waist. I snap out of
my lust-induced trace. “Hey,
Ry
,” she says
,
barely looking at Ryan. Her gaze turns back to me.
“
Doesn’t Holly look amazing? Apparently
,
that college out in the sticks
agrees with her.” She grins at
me and says, “I’m going to take off with Matt, is that okay?” Her expression is
apologetic
.
Mandy
mouths
I’m sorry
since her back is to Ryan.

I want to say
, Hell no
, but I say, rather politely,
“Yeah, that’s fine. Go ahead. Have fun.”

Mandy asks, “You sure? We came together. I don’t want you to think I asked you to drive me all the way in here and then ditched you. Plus
,
the snow is bad. I don’t want you driving back by yourself.” I hear her talking herself out of her night with Matt. “Nah, forget it. I’ll just tell him I need to go back with you.”

She turns to leave when Ryan says
to Mandy
, “I’ll ride with Holly. You go on with Matt.”

“Really?”
Mandy tu
rns to me
,
practically begging me to say yes with that look on her face
.
Although I’ve known Ryan for years, we’ve never
h
ung out alone.
Ever.
This i
s beyond weird.
I’m stuck. If I say no, I look like an ass. If I say yes, I’ll be alone with Ryan. Shit. I’ll kill Mandy later. She screwed me twice in one night.
I nod
that it’s okay.
“Are you sure?”
she asks me, like I can honestly tell her now.

No,
I want to strangle you
, I think. But I say,
“Yeah. His parent’s house is pretty close to mine
. Go on. Have fun.” I smile
at her, and Mandy perks up and totally ignores my death stare
.
She says bounds toward Matt
like a Chihuahua
jacked up on Pixie
Stix
.

When I look back at Ryan,
my heart is beating harder. Ryan
isn’t watching her, he’s watching me.
He pushes his dark hair out of his eyes.
“Well, that
worked out. Let me go tell the guys
that
they can go on without me.”
I nod and watch his lean body walk away, taking in the broad sweep of his shoulders and his rock hard body beneath that tee shirt. It clings to him, showcasing every chiseled curve of muscle.
Several female faces turn to watch him as he walks by.

Ugh!
Ripping my eyes away,
I finally slip down into the seat. My heart is beating, thumping along like a flat tire. I feel so off balance. The last time I saw him, the same thing happened, but
the
situation
never
ended with us leaving together.
I love being around him, but it’s terrifying
.
It’s easy to forget how he is because he makes me feel like I’m the only wom
an who matters. The thing is
,
Ryan does that with
every woman
he’s with
.
I’m nothing special. Not to him.

I glance at Ryan’s back and see him hushing his friend
s
, telling the group to go on without him. I hear a few choice words that make me cringe and wonder what I’m doing.
A few minutes later, Ryan’s friends
are
leaving,
shaking their heads like Ryan is an idiot. He ignores them and walks back to me with a sexy smile on his face.
Each stride falls in step with my heart beat. It feels surreal. It feels like magic. Something inside my chest swells and pushes back my fear.

Truth be told, Ryan scares the hell out of me. There are a few people that really get me, that understand how I think and what I mean. Ryan is one of them,
and
he’s intuitive
,
to
o.
It’s like he can crawl around inside my head and learn every little thing about me. If I spend much time with him, I’ll have no secrets. I’ll be totally exposed, and Ryan will notice how insanely smitten with him I truly am.

I swallow hard, as Ryan
takes the seat next to me. When his arm brushes against mine, I nearly jump out of my skin. “Well,” he speaks like he has no clue the effect he has on me, “they’re gone. It’s just me and you
,
now.
Do you really want to go straight home?”

“Yeah, the weather kind of sucks.”
I look at his hands and
wonder what they’d feel like pressed against my thigh.
Stop it. Focus.
I scold myself. This is playing with fire, and I’m not a pyro. I’ll get burnt up for thinking thoughts like that.

He watches my
lips move, and then looks
at m
e out of the corner of his eye.
“Sounds good,” he stands
and
I follow him out of the
bar
. I get a few stares for leaving with Ryan, but we were friends before I left
for college
. We
can
be friends now. I
can
handle this.
Maybe.

When we step outside, the temperature has dropped and the large white flakes have turned into tiny
ice
shards. They fall from the sky and sting my skin when they land. I shiver and fold my arms across my chest.
My dress has no sleeves and I have no jacket. M
y keys
are
in my hand, with
my wallet attached to the key
ring. I’m a no purse kind of girl. I shiver and walk faster
, which makes my dress swish at my thighs
.
It forces cold air up between my legs.
Before we are three step
s
away from the building, I feel Ryan’s leather jacket settle on my shoulders. It’s still warm.

I look over at him and say, “No,
I’m fine,
” trying to give it back.

“Keep it, you lunatic. You don’t have a coat in the car either, do you?” He smiles at me.
Tiny snow crystals cling to his dark hair. Ryan seems to forget himself and gazes at me for a moment.