“Christmas is for families, Lacy,” her mother
said, sounding remarkably composed despite her tears.
“He is our family,” Lacy said thickly,
swiping at her eyes. “We spend all of our waking time with him, and
we love him. And if he goes, I’m going with him.”
“Lacy,” everyone said at once in completely
differing tones.
“She’s right, Frannie.” This came from Clint,
Lacy’s father. Now everyone turned to look at him in surprise. Like
Lacy, he saved his emotion for the big things, but he sounded
legitimately upset now. “We can’t come in here and tell Lucy how to
live her life. And it’s not like she’s dating a tattooed swindler.
This is Mr. Middleton we’re talking about. We know him, and we know
he’s a good man. Why don’t we all take a deep breath and begin
again?”
Frannie looked around the group, dismayed at
having lost her only remaining ally. Her dismay fled, only to be
replaced by defiant anger once again. “Fine, if that’s the way
everyone wants it, then just fine!” Flinging out the words, she
turned and stormed down the hallway to her room, slamming the
door.
Lucinda sighed. “It’s like she’s fifteen all
over again,” she muttered.
“She’ll come around,” Clint said
unconvincingly. “She just needs some time to adjust. I’ll talk to
her.” He turned and plodded down the hall with measured steps as if
he were heading to impending doom. Maybe he was.
“Maybe you should just tell her,” Lacy
suggested softly once her parents were safely concealed in their
room.
Mr. Middleton and her grandmother shook their
heads simultaneously. “I think that would make things even worse,”
Lucinda said. “Although she’s always liked her theatrics, she’s
never been one to handle real drama well. She likes her life
routine and predictable. Throwing something so large at her at this
late stage might be a blow from which she’ll never recover. I just
want the remaining years we have together to be as peaceful as
possible.”
“I agree,” Mr. Middleton said. “We’ll have to
hope that she makes peace with the situation. And if she doesn’t…”
He let his words trail off. Lacy wondered what he would say next.
If she doesn’t, then what? Surely he wouldn’t leave their lives? If
her mother didn’t make peace with the situation, then they would
live in constant stress until one of them died. What sort of life
was that? None. Lacy’s stomach began to twist in anxiety, hating
the situation.
Mr. Middleton put his arm around her
shoulders and gave them a squeeze. “C’mon, kiddo. Let’s get some
fresh air and a coffee. We’ll talk about anything but what’s
happening here and give us both a break.” Lacy nodded and he leaned
forward to slip his other arm around Lucinda. “Will you be okay
while we’re gone, Lucy?”
Lucinda slipped her arms around his waist and
hugged, closing her eyes and resting her head on his shoulder. Lacy
had never seen her stalwart grandmother draw comfort from someone
else before. It was a revelation; her grandmother had needs of her
own, comfort and security being chief among them. Why couldn’t her
mother see how much Mr. Middleton meant to her grandmother? How
much he meant to Lacy?
“I’ll be fine, Tom,” Lucinda said. “I’ll work
on supper.”
Lacy and her grandfather smiled, knowing that
being in the kitchen was Lucinda’s own brand of therapy. Mr.
Middleton leaned down and kissed Lucinda then, and not his usual
brusque kiss on in the cheek, either. The kiss was chaste and
brief, but it stirred something deep within Lacy as she watched the
affectionate exchange, something that recognized the deep love and
respect between her grandparents and made her yearn to find
something of her own.
Unbidden her thoughts turned to Jason. There
was no doubt they had explosive chemistry. They couldn’t seem to
get within five feet of each other and not touch, but what happened
when the chemistry wore off? What happened when people were too old
or too sick to use physical touch to convey emotion? How did one
find lasting happiness based on mutual respect and admiration? Lacy
thought she had found that once with Robert, but he had cheated on
her and broken her heart. How could she ever hope to find it
again?
“What’s the matter, Lacy?” her grandfather
asked, keeping his arm around her shoulders as he led her from the
house. “Don’t tell me the situation with Frannie is bothering you
this much.”
Lacy sighed, not wanting to unload all her
problems on him. “I guess Christmas can work to make me sort of
blue sometimes,” she said, though this was the first time it had
ever happened to her. Previously Christmas was a blessed event,
something she looked forward to all year long. Maybe now that she
was dreading it, she was an official grownup.
“Christmas can be hard when you’re feeling
down,” he said.
She bit her lip, feeling bad for feeling
sorry for herself when he had spent so many Christmases alone.
“What did you do all those years without us?” she asked.
“For a lot of years, I spent Christmas with
my sister and her brood. Believe me when I tell you that being
around a lot of wild, misbehaved children can make one thankful for
bachelorhood. The last few years, Peg and I spent the day
together.”
“Do you miss her?” Lacy asked, feeling torn.
She wanted to honor his friendship with Peggy, but the woman had
killed her biological grandmother. By all accounts her grandmother
hadn’t been a saint, but still, there was such a thing as
loyalty.
“Yes and no,” Mr. Middleton said. “We were
good friends, but there’s a difference in what Peggy and I shared
and what your grandmother and I share. One pales in comparison.
I’ll let you figure out which one.” He smiled, not taking his eyes
off the road.
Lacy faced forward with a smile of her own.
“Are you going to visit Peggy in jail?”
He nodded. “I visit her every week. Peg was a
good friend to me most of my life, and I can’t discount that
because she did one horrible thing. I’m disappointed in her for her
choices, but I still care about her. Plus, she has no one
else.”
Lacy bit her lip, her smile fading. How sad
to be alone. As much as her family was driving her crazy, she still
had them, and they were there. And as much as Tosh and Jason were
too busy to spend much time with her, they were still her friends.
Peggy had no one. “I don’t want to be alone,” she blurted.
“You won’t be,” Mr. Middleton said
confidently.
“But I’m reserved with my emotions, except
anger,” she added truthfully, thinking that Jason and Tosh would
both say the same thing if they were here. For some reason, showing
her temper came much easier to her than showing affection or
anything else.
Mr. Middleton chuckled. “I was a bit of a
hothead myself when I was younger, and so was Barbara. But age
brings wisdom, at least for some of us. You’ll learn how to control
that temper.”
“But will I ever learn to open up and tell
people how I really feel?” she asked.
He opened his mouth and paused. “I guess
that’s up to you,” he said at last. “I’m learning, but I’m an old
codger, and it’s taken way too long. I hope you’ll learn long
before I did. When I think of all these wasted years I could have
been with Lucy if only I had said something sooner.” He frowned,
shaking his head. “Well, I don’t want that for you. If you love
someone, you should tell him.” He paused again. “Do you love
someone?” he quirked an eyebrow at her.
She laughed. “Are you matchmaking?”
He shook his head. “Wouldn’t dream of it. I
just want to know who I need to be watching out for. Jason, for
instance, or Lucy’s pastor. Which of those do I need to worry
about?”
“Neither right now,” Lacy said, sighing.
“They’re both so busy I’ve hardly seen them lately. Who knew cops
and pastors were busiest at Christmas? You’d think people would
take a break from being needy once in a while.”
He laughed and she could see the tension
draining from him. “You’re going to want to curb that uncharitable
attitude if you plan to be a pastor’s wife or a cop’s wife, Lacy.
It probably wouldn’t go over well in either case.”
She smiled, thinking how remote the chance
was that she would marry either Jason or Tosh. “I think I’m safe
for the time being,” she said. “I can resent their jobs as much as
I want, especially while they’re both being taken away from
me.”
He took her to the coffee shop and they
grabbed their usual table, talking about anything and everything
but the tension waiting for them back home. Lacy’s attention was
grabbed by a pretty blond sitting a few tables over, the same
pretty blond who had been Jason’s date to the FOP banquet. Lacy
tried to concentrate on what her grandfather was saying, but her
attention was repeatedly snagged by the other woman.
She was very pretty and sophisticated, and
she was studious as she worked over the papers spread before her.
Who was she? Lacy was certain she didn’t live in town because she
had never seen her before. But what was she doing here if she
wasn’t here for Jason?
Then the bell over the door chimed, admitting
another customer, and Lacy had her answer. Jason, still in his
uniform, zeroed in on the blond and walked straight to her, saying
something that made her lookup with a smile and a laugh. He was
smiling, too, as he took his seat across from her. Then he looked
up and saw Lacy staring at him. He winked before returning his
attention to the blond. And after that initial greeting wink, he
didn’t look up again.
Chapter 7
“What’s wrong with you? You’re quiet.”
Lacy and Tosh sat on his sofa, eating takeout
and not talking, at least until Tosh spoke, alerting her to the
fact that she was in her own little world.
“Oh, you know--drama and Christmas.
Apparently they go hand in hand.”
Tosh nodded, then changed to a head shake
mid-nod. “No, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Why would
drama and Christmas go hand in hand?”
“I guess they only do if you live in my
family,” she said. “If you ever met my sister, you would know what
I’m talking about. Every year it was something. When she was little
it was a huge buildup as she regaled us daily with her list of
Christmas demands. Then there was the disappointment because she
hadn’t received what she wanted. When she was older, she was always
fighting with a friend or boyfriend, or she was mad at me because
she thought I had received better presents.”
“Maybe you’re not just angry at Riley because
she stole Robert. Maybe you’re angry at her for a lot of different
reasons,” Tosh said.
If she didn’t know that Tosh had good
intentions, then it would annoy her when he assumed his “pastor”
voice with her. As it was, she knew he sincerely cared about her
and her problems, and that made her think twice about what he said.
“Maybe. I don’t like to think of myself as one of those people
always whining about my childhood, especially when my childhood was
so good. But I did get tired of Riley’s constant drama and need to
be the center of attention.”
“Everyone has baggage,” Tosh said, shrugging.
“Just because your childhood was good doesn’t mean it was
perfect.”
“I suppose,” she said, ready to change the
subject. “Speaking of family, are you going to Chicago for
Christmas?”
“Yes, but not until the day after. I have too
much going on here.” He sighed, sounding exhausted.
“Poor Tosh,” Lacy said.
He smiled. “I can’t really complain about my
job. Who complains because he has to go to too many Christmas
parties?”
“You’re tired,” she defended. “It’s okay to
say you’re tired.”
“I’m tired,” he admitted, reaching out to
steal some of her sweet and sour chicken. She used the opportunity
to steal some of his beef and broccoli, and they decided to
exchange containers for a while.
“I’m tired of not seeing you,” she said. “I
miss you. You can’t believe how lonely this town is when you’re not
around. That reminds me—can you come to our holiday party on
Christmas Eve?”
“I have to give the Christmas Eve service at
church, but that’s not until late. I think I can make it to the
party for a while first.” They ate in silence for a while, and his
happy smile slowly slid away. “Is he going to be there?”
There was no need to ask who “he” was. Jason
and Tosh had a certain telling tone when they referred to each
other.
“If he can sneak by during work,” Lacy said.
“He’s working as much overtime as you are.”
Tosh nodded, wisely letting the subject drop.
“I procured some extra fortune cookies for you,” he said, pointing
to the pile of cookies on the coffee table.
“Just one of the many reasons I love you,”
Lacy said. She had no idea why it was so easy to be with Tosh, to
tell him how much he meant to her, and to pour out her heart to
him. There wasn’t anything she couldn’t talk to him about, unless
it was the possibility of them being more than friends. She was
still uncomfortable with that subject. “Tosh, did you buy me a gold
locket for Christmas, send it to my house, and tell me not to open
it until Christmas?”
“No. Do you want me to?”
She shook her head. “Someone already
did.”
“Oh.” His chopsticks scraped roughly against
the side of his container. “Think it was him?”
“I don’t think so,” Lacy said, not sure if
she believed it or not. Unlike Tosh, she couldn’t ask Jason
directly. If he hadn’t sent it, she would be embarrassed that she
had thought so in the first place. Their relationship was tricky
and strange. Most of the time she had no idea where she stood with
him or why, for instance, he would kiss her one night and be with
another woman the following night. Her mind strayed to the pretty
blond at the coffee shop. Jason insisted he didn’t have a
girlfriend, but that was twice Lacy had seen him with the mystery
woman.