Church Whore 3 (16 page)

“That was as magical as I expected it to be,” Andrew told her.

“Yes, it was. Let’s promise to always keep the fire burning, even when we’re mad. What do you say?”

“I say I’m going to remind you of this conversation.”

“Oh! You didn’t use the jar of Jif!”

“Don’t worry. We have tomorrow. You taste sweet enough anyway, just like candy!”

Andrew started dancing in the tub, and couple laughed as they started singing “Candy” by Cameo.

Chapter 16

Poe held funeral services at one of the local funeral homes. There weren’t a lot of people there considering that Lilith had cut off contact with the majority of her family.

Junior, Edem, Mama Eloise, Lizzie, Denard and his wife Maria came to show their support.

Mama Eloise flipped through the program before the service and noticed that no one was singing. She got up and whispered something to Poe, who was acting extremely weird.

The three urns were sitting on the table.

“Don’t they usually wait until after to cremate the body?” Lizzie asked Junior.

“Yeah usually, but I guess it’s cheaper this way,” he replied.

Someone got up to speak, so they quieted down. Junior almost fell asleep from his monotone voice.

“We will now have Mrs. Eloise Blanks lead us in a selection,” the speaker announced.

Mama Eloise was decked out in all black, and her big black church hat set off the outfit. She strutted up to the front and sang a cappella:

“I need thee ev’ry hour,

Most gracious Lord.

No tender voice like thine,

Can peace afford.

I need thee, oh, I need thee;

Ev’ry hour I need thee!

Oh, bless me now, my Savior;

I come to thee…”

Mama Eloise put a hurtin’ on that song. She did runs with her voice that sent the anointing through the building.

After she finished the song, the eulogy was long, drawn-out and boring. They were all ready to go home.

When service was over The Blanks went to shake everyone’s hands. 

Standing next to Poe was a heavyset light-skinned woman who favored Lilith so much that it was scary. “This is my Aunt Leitha. These are the Blanks,” he said, introducing them.

“You have my deepest condolences,” Junior said to her. 

Poe introduced his aunt to Denard and Maria. Denard hugged Poe extra tight, and they promised to have lunch later in the week before he left to go back home.

Mama Eloise didn’t like the look in Leitha’s eyes. Leitha was looking at her like she could kill her, so she decided not to shake her hand and just said, “Be blessed!” and kept moving down the line to the other relatives that waited.

________

Junior called Sheila after he received a text from her asking him if he could give her a call.

“Hey, Junior.” Her voice sounded sad.

“Hey, you okay?” he asked.

“Yes, I’m fine. I just wanted to touch base with you about what was going on.”

“Okay, what’s going on?”

“We’re moving to Texas in a few months.”

“Texas?” Junior’s heartrate quickened.

“Yeah. Jamir got a promotion.”

“Wow! So what about the baby?”

“I mean, what about her? What do you mean?”

“I mean how am I going to be around my daughter if she’s going to be in Texas?” he asked, getting aggravated.

“Well, Junior, what do you expect me to do? I need to go with my husband.”

“I understand that, Sheila. I’m just trying to figure out how this is going to work out. I want to be in my child’s life.”

“We can work something out, Junior. I’m not trying to keep her from you. I wouldn’t do that to you.”

“That’s all I wanted to hear, you know. I’m not trying to cause problems; I just want to make sure that I have a relationship with her.”

“Well, I can’t tell you right at this moment how we can work it out, but we’ll figure something out.”

“Oh, we definitely will! No doubt!” Junior’s voice still seemed angry.

“Well, I got to go. I’ll keep you posted on things.”

“A’ight,” Junior said, and hung up the phone without saying good bye.  He was fuming and started pacing back and forth.

Lacey and all three kids were sound asleep so, he left out and went over to Edem’s. 

When Edem opened the door he could tell that something was bothering his brother. “What’s wrong?” he asked him.

“Man, I’m about to pop a blood vessel!”

“Let’s go to my man cave,” he said to Junior. “Baby, I’m going to go talk to Junior real quick. I’ll be back!” Edem hollered over his shoulder to Ruthie.

Junior just waved to her as he followed behind his little brother.

“So, what’s up?” Edem asked after he got comfortable in his recliner.

“Baby bruh, Sheila and her husband are moving to Texas!” Junior huffed.

“Oh Wow!”

“I know, right? What kind of mess is that?”

“I know you don’t want to hear this, but I think that’s a good thing.”

“What the hell? How could this be a good thing when she’s taking my baby away from me?” Junior’s voice was raised.

“If you don’t take it down a notch or two… Look, you and Lacey are healing, so forgive me if I think that not having a reminder of your love for another woman and the love child that y’all created is a good thing. For you not so much, because as usual, you want to have your cake and eat it to. Have you ever thought that maybe you’re trying to hold onto something that God is trying to tear apart?”

Junior sat quietly processing what his brother had just said. Then he shot back, “You make me sick! Why do you always got to try to make sense?”

“Because, I’m
that
dude!” He laughed. “Look, Junior. You know Sheila’s heart better than anybody. And if you get out of your feelings, you’ll realize that she’s not going to move away and act like you don’t exist.”

“Yeah, I know. She wouldn’t do that to me.”

“So, let me ask you this: do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?”

“I want to be happy.”

“Then be happy and leave the rest to God.”

“You make it sound so easy.”

“That’s because it is. We just make it difficult when we try to do His job for Him.”

“You’re absolutely right.”

“And let me add that I am very proud of you. You’ve been making a lot of changes to your inner man, and it’s noticeable.”

“Thanks, man. That fire did something to me. I like that inner man thing you said though. You should do a sermon on that.”

“See, I would, but that’s the title to my next book; ‘Renewing your inner man’.”

Junior coverd his mouth with a closed fist and said, “O-o-oh, I see you baby bruh! Oh yeah, Elisea and Andrew will be back soon, so we need to figure out what to do about the house.”

“I talked to Lizzie and asked her if she wanted a house over here, and she said no. She said that James’ house is just fine for now. I don’t think she wants to live that close to us!” he laughed.

“Right!” Junior was happy to see his sisters free from the nest.

“But she did say that Andrew had already purchased a house not too far from their house. He’s going to surprise her with it.”

“I like that. He’s a take charge kind of dude. Now, him and Mud… oh Lord!” Junior shook his head.

“Mud is just going to have to understand that his baby sisters are grown, and he’s going to have to deal with it.”

“That’s true, but can you believe the change in Mama? Thank you, God!” Junior pretended to shout.

“Look at God! We’ve been through a lot as a family, but we made it through.”

“You ain’t lying. So, should we just cut Lizzie and Elisea a check and let them do what they want with it?”

“I think that would be a good idea.”

“Now, what about Mama? She’s in that big ol’ house all by herself.”

“Not for long!” Edem said and smirked.

“What do you know, Edem? Spill it. Is she marrying George?”

“Oh I don’t know about that, but she was telling me that Bernice will be getting out of the rehab soon, and she doesn’t want to live with Denard and Maria. So she said she asked her to come stay with her.”

“Oh word? That’s good. Oh Lord! It’s going to be ‘gangsta granny central’ over there, because you know Madear’s gonna be over there all the time!”

They both laughed.

“I know, right! But what if Mama married George?”

“I wouldn’t care about that. I just keep having this sick image in my head that when they’re having sex, Mama says, ‘Oh George!’ sounding all like Weezy Jefferson or something.”

Edem tried to keep a straight face. “No you didn’t say that! You know you said that out loud right? Thanks for the visual! Now I’m going to hear that every time I see them together! Get out of my house!” he said, trying his best not to laugh.

Junior busted out laughing. “A’ight man. Let me get on back home.”

The two brothers stood and hugged each other before walking to the door.

“Ruthie, you can have your husband back!” Junior called to her.

“Thank you. Good night, Junior!”

________

The mass choir had the church caught up in the spirit as they sung:

“I am grateful for the things that you have done.

Yes, I’m grateful for the vic-tories we’ve won.

I could go on and on and on about your works,

Because I’m grateful, grateful, so grateful just to praise you, Lord.

Flowing from my heart are the issues of my heart,

It’s gratefulness…”

Junior took to the podium. He looked out at the empty seat where Lacey usually sat, but she was at home with the baby. “Today’s word is, ‘Stay in Your Lane’. Open your Bibles to Galatians 6:4. The amplified Bible says:”

“…But each one must carefully scrutinize his own work [examining his actions, attitudes, and behavior], and then he can have the personal satisfaction and inner joy of doing something commendable without comparing himself to another.”

“People spend too much time trying to keep up with the Joneses, upset they don’t have someone else’s anointing. Stay in your lane!”

“We get so caught up being stressed out or angry, worrying about how the next person is prospering. First, we need to remember that one can prosper without blessing. Drug dealers prosper. They drive fancy cars, have the biggest homes, and they have a pocket full of money. But there’s a big difference between being blessed and prospering. They are prospering, but they are not blessed. But see, when you stay in your lane, when you run your own race, you don’t have to worry about any of that. God will meet you on your journey. When you stay focused on what’s in front of you and not what’s going on in the next lane, you will be more equipped to handle the snares of the enemy.”

“So Church, today I challenge you to stay in your lane. Run your own race. Perfect what you are doing, and when people try to come into your lane—and they most likely will—you won’t lose focus. Because when you lose focus, you tend to miss the blessings God has planted along the way. Let me tell you how God works. When you stay the course, it’s almost like you have tunnel vision. Nothing fazes you. It doesn’t matter who is going faster than you, or how loud their music is; just stay in your lane.”

________

Officer Hudson was called to the scene at Country Park. When he got out of the car he said, “You have got to be kidding me!” He stared in silence before joining the other officers.

“Can you believe this? The lady over there was out for a jog, and she witnessed the entire thing,” and officer told him.

“What did she see?”

“She witnessed a woman sitting up in the tree. She thought it was weird, but she continued on her run. As she came back around, from a distance she saw the lady jump. By the time she reached her, she was gone. All of her belongings are scattered at the base of the tree, so we have her identification.”

“Oh, I know who she is,” Officer Hudson said, shaking his head in disbelief. He watched as the body of Tamar Harlot was cut down from the tree.

“Looks like she left a suicide note too,” the officer added.

“Interesting…” Officer Hudson went over to study the evidence of what was left behind for himself.

________

“Aa-a-a-argh!” Jezebel screamed as the contractions hit.

“Push, Jezebel! Push!” the midwife instructed.

The doula wiped the sweat from Jezebel’s forehead and placed a wet wash cloth on it. “You’re doing great, honey.”

Jezebel grunted as she pushed with everything in her.

“I see the head. There’s a lot of hair,” the midwife said, and took her finger and traced the edges of Jezebel’s vagina to allow the baby’s head to push through.