Authors: Dilly Court
‘I’m not ready for this,’ Lily said in an undertone as she untied her bonnet.
‘Let me take your wet things, miss,’ Prissy said, smiling. ‘I’ll get Cook to hang them on the airer above the range.’
‘Thank you, Prissy.’ Gabriel moved towards the staircase that rose in an elegant curve to the first floor. He beckoned to Lily. ‘You can sit in the hall if you wish, Lily, but I’m going upstairs to the drawing room.’
She moved slowly, like a sleepwalker. She wanted to turn and run, and yet she desired nothing more than to see her mother. The conflicting emotions made her knees feel as though they had turned to jelly, and she stumbled as she reached the foot of the stairs. She would have fallen but Gabriel caught her in his arms, setting her back on her feet with a sympathetic smile. ‘Come on, be brave. It won’t hurt, I promise.’
She allowed him to lead her up the thickly carpeted staircase. The walls were papered in fashionable William Morris prints that Lily had seen and admired in magazines. If she had not been so nervous she might have stopped to study the oil paintings in their heavy gilded frames, but they were little more than a colourful blur to her eyes.
‘My father did most of these,’ Gabriel said, as if sensing her unspoken question. ‘Some of them are your
mother’s, and there are many more in their studio on the top floor.’
‘I’m not sure about this,’ Lily whispered. ‘I really should leave now.’
He paused as he reached the first floor landing. ‘I’ll send Perks with a message telling them not to worry.’
‘They mustn’t know I’m here.’
‘Are you afraid of your brothers, Lily?’
‘No, of course not, but they’ll be hurt and angry. They’ll think I’ve betrayed them.’
‘That’s ridiculous. You’re entitled to see your own mother, and there’s nothing they can do or say to alter the fact.’ He crossed the floor in two strides and opened the door into the drawing room. ‘Cara,’ he proclaimed loudly, ‘I have a visitor for you.’
Lily stood poised for flight. Her instinct was to run to her mother, but a small voice in her head warned her of the consequences, insisting that she should turn tail and retreat before she took a step that might tear her family apart for the second time.
‘Lily.’ Gabriel held the door open, beckoning to her.
Her heart was beating so fast that she felt quite dizzy as she entered the spacious room. Cold north light poured in through three tall windows and a coal fire blazed in the grate, but Lily was only dimly aware of her surroundings. She moved slowly to stand beside Gabriel, but her attention was fixed on the elegant figure reclining on a chaise longue. Even though she had not seen her mother for ten years, Lily could have picked her out in the midst of a crowd. Charlotte’s abundant Titian hair was confined loosely by a green
satin ribbon that almost exactly matched her eyes. Her long limbs were barely concealed by a velvet robe richly embroidered in gold thread, open to the waist to reveal a filmy gown, frilled and ruffled in a romantic style that was reminiscent of a bygone era.
‘Mama. It’s me, Lily.’
Everard Faulkner turned away from the window where he had been looking out into the snowstorm. A haze of cigar smoke wafted up towards the ceiling as he took a small black cheroot from his lips. He stared at Lily in amazement. ‘By God, it’s you all over again, Cara.’
Charlotte rose to her feet in one sinuous movement to glide across the Persian carpet with her arms outstretched and her garments flowing around her in a diaphanous cloud. ‘My own darling Lily. My little girl.’
Before she had a chance to react, Lily found herself clasped in a fond embrace and a cloud of expensive perfume heavy with tuberose, bergamot and jasmine. ‘Mama,’ she murmured, at a loss for anything better to say.
Charlotte held her at arm’s length, gazing at Lily as if she would like to eat her. ‘My own little girl. How you’ve grown, my darling. You were a skinny little creature all spindly limbs and bright red curls when I was torn from the bosom of my family, and now look at you.’
‘I say, steady on, old girl,’ Everard protested. ‘As I recall there wasn’t too much tearing involved. As I recall you galloped off like a filly at the beginning of a race. You couldn’t get away from that dreary house quick enough …’
‘Oh shut up, Everard,’ Charlotte said good-naturedly.
‘It was a traumatic time for us all, and I shed copious amounts of tears on leaving my beloved children.’
‘I didn’t notice you being too upset when we left on the boat train for Paris,’ Everard said with a wry smile.
‘Darling, don’t be horrid.’ With one arm draped around Lily’s shoulders, Charlotte blew him a kiss. ‘I suffered in silence, if you must know.’
‘Do you ever do anything in silence, Cara?’ Gabriel asked with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.
‘Don’t tease me, you bad boy.’ Charlotte drew Lily over to the chaise longue and pressed her down on the seat. ‘Everard, sweetheart, ring for Prissy and order some champagne. We must celebrate the reunion of mother and daughter. I might even make a painting of it, with myself as model of course and my dearest Lily sitting at my feet.’
‘Gazing up at you with adoring eyes,’ Gabriel added, winking at Lily.
She looked away, catching her breath on a sob. ‘You broke my heart when you run off like that, Ma.’
‘Ran off, darling. Don’t you remember anything I taught you?’
‘I remember how the house went quiet when you left. You took the laughter with you, and nothing was the same again.’ Lily searched in her reticule for the handkerchief that Gabriel had given her. She blew her nose.
‘Stop that at once, Lily,’ Charlotte said, frowning. ‘You’ll make yourself look a perfect fright and you know I can’t stand to look at ugly things.’
‘Have a heart, dearest,’ Everard said mildly. ‘Can’t you see the poor child is upset?’
‘As am I, dearest.’ Charlotte reached for a silver vinaigrette and flicked it open, wafting it beneath her nose. ‘A mother’s heart is a delicate thing and easily bruised if not broken. I think that will be the subject of my next painting, with myself as the bereaved mother, of course.’
Gabriel tugged at the bell pull. ‘Heavens above, Cara. Can’t you think of anyone but yourself? Lily is the injured party here.’
Charlotte dropped the vinaigrette; her lips trembled and teardrops sparkled on the tips of her long eyelashes. ‘My poor baby girl.’ She wrapped her arms around Lily, rubbing her cheek against her hair. She drew away with an exaggerated shudder. ‘Good heavens, child, you smell like a chimney sweep’s boy.’
Lily leapt to her feet, glaring at her mother as she tried desperately to control an alarming jumble of emotions. ‘So would you if you lived above the fire station and a tobacconist’s shop, and had no water to wash with because the pump in the stable yard was frozen solid.’
Charlotte recoiled visibly. ‘There’s no need to take that tone with me, Lily. I remember very well what it was like to live in that old ruin of a house so close to the river that it practically floated at high tide.’
‘We don’t live there any more,’ Lily cried passionately. ‘We were forced to leave, and now we live crammed into two miserable rooms.’
‘That’s unfortunate,’ Everard said, clearing his throat. ‘Bad show.’
Gabriel stared at Charlotte with a frown puckering his brow. ‘You have no idea how your family have
been living, Cara. I’ve seen the place and you wouldn’t house your pet pug dog in those dismal rooms.’
She clutched her head with both hands. ‘Stop, stop. You’re bringing on one of my heads.’ She paused as someone rapped on the door. ‘Enter.’
Prissy breezed into the room with a broad grin on her face. ‘You rang, missis.’
‘Ma’am,’ Charlotte said wearily. ‘How many times must I tell you that, you stupid country wench?’
‘It’s all right, Prissy.’ Gabriel gave her an encouraging smile. ‘Ask Cook to show you where to find the champagne and which glasses to bring.’
Prissy’s full lips had trembled visibly at Charlotte’s brusque tone but she smiled again and bobbed a curtsey. ‘Yes, master. Right away. Toot sweet as me dad says.’
‘Thank you, Prissy.’ Gabriel closed the door behind her as she gambolled out of the room like an eager puppy. ‘She means well, Cara. Have a little patience with the poor child. She’s new to city ways.’
‘Oh, heavens!’ Charlotte reclined against the buttoned back of the chaise longue with a martyred expression. ‘One cannot get good servants these days. I was just saying the very same thing to dear Effie Millais.’
Not wanting to incur another rebuke for being ignorant, Lily cast a questioning look in Gabriel’s direction. He raised his eyebrows with a resigned sigh. ‘Save your name-dropping for people who are easily impressed, Cara. Lily has had little chance to become acquainted with the art world, and the fact that she has pursued her talent at all is a great credit to her.’
‘I’m sure I don’t know what you mean,’ Charlotte
said, pouting. ‘I was simply speaking of a personal friend.’ She leaned forward, gazing intently at Lily. ‘Effie is the wife of John Everett Millais, a very well-respected artist and a personal friend. Everard and I move in exalted circles now, my dear. I was so very bored with firemen and the smell of the docks.’
‘Your sons are firemen and proud of it,’ Lily said sharply. ‘Matt, Mark and Luke risk their lives daily to save others. They are brave and true and you shouldn’t speak of them like that.’
‘Dear Matt,’ Charlotte mused. ‘He must be quite grown up now. He was always such a serious boy, and then there was Mark who always made me laugh and poor Luke who as I recall cried rather a lot.’
Lily was incensed by this casual reference to her brothers. She loved them dearly even if their mother did not. ‘My brothers are fine men, but you hurt them deeply, which is why I am forbidden to paint because they fear I will turn out like you.’
‘I say, steady on, old thing.’ Everard moved swiftly to Charlotte’s side and clasped her hand in his. ‘Your mother has had a shock today, seeing you again after all this time, Lily. Let’s take things slowly so that you two can get to know each other again with no recriminations.’
‘She has every right to feel as she does, Father,’ Gabriel said, laying his hand on Lily’s arm in a protective gesture. ‘And as for you, Cara, you wanted me to bring her here, so I think you could be a little more sensitive to her feelings. She will have to face her family when she gets home and they won’t make things easy for her.’
‘It’s all right, Gabriel,’ Lily said with a grateful smile.
‘I didn’t want to come here today, but now I’m glad I did because it will make the separation from my mother easier to bear.’
Charlotte uttered a moan and closed her eyes. ‘Tell her not to be so cruel, Everard.’
‘I am not the one who is cruel, Ma. I didn’t abandon my children to run off with a married man.’
‘Now that’s a bit harsh,’ Everard protested.
Charlotte held up her hand. ‘No, let her speak, dearest. I daresay some of what she says is warranted, and I admit that I may not be the best mother in the world, but I had my reasons.’ She turned her lambent gaze on Lily. ‘I followed my heart. One day you might know what it is to love a man to the exclusion of everything else in life, at least I hope you do, and then you will understand your mama and forgive her.’ She covered her eyes with her hand. ‘I feel faint.’
Everard threw himself down on the sofa to take her in his arms. ‘My poor darling,’ he crooned, rocking her like a baby. ‘Don’t cry, my love.’
‘Crocodile tears, Cara,’ Gabriel said angrily. ‘Lily and her siblings are the ones who suffered as a result of your actions, and I think you owe them all an apology.’
‘I am unwell,’ Charlotte moaned. ‘Are you going to allow your son to speak to me in that tone, Everard?’
‘That was a bit harsh, old boy,’ Everard murmured, casting a worried glance at his son. ‘Say no more, please. Can’t you see how hard this is for Cara?’
‘I should go now,’ Lily said, making for the door. ‘You should never have sent for me, Ma. I would rather have kept my childish memories of you.’
‘No, wait,’ Charlotte cried, pushing Everard aside and leaping up from the chaise longue with amazing agility for one who moments before had professed faintness. She rushed over to Lily and enveloped her in a maternal hug. ‘Don’t leave like this, child. I did want to see you if only to tell you that you must not hide your talent from the world as I did for so many years.’ She grasped Lily by the hand. ‘You have inherited my gift and I want you to use it. Never mind your brothers and sisters. What do they know of art and literature and all the finer things in life? You are the only one who has inherited my talent, so don’t waste it, Lily. I beg of you don’t listen to Matt, who is his father all over again. Follow your heart, my dear girl.’
Breathless and almost swamped by her mother’s passionate words and heady perfume, Lily was temporarily speechless. She looked mutely to Gabriel for help and he gently disengaged Charlotte’s clutching hand and led her back to her seat. ‘Perhaps I was wrong in reuniting you two,’ he said softly. ‘But I think it may prove to be a good thing in the end. I’ll take Lily home now, Cara.’
‘Yes, take her away. I’m quite exhausted with all this emotional turmoil,’ Charlotte murmured, leaning her head on Everard’s shoulder. ‘Perhaps we will meet again in the fullness of time, Lily.’
Everard stroked her hair back from her forehead. ‘There, there, sweetheart. You’ve been a brave darling and I’m sure that Lily will want to see her mama again very soon.’ He stared at Lily with eyebrows raised as if willing her to answer in the affirmative.
‘Yes, perhaps – I don’t know.’ Lily stumbled blindly towards the door. ‘I must go now.’
‘You’re not walking home and that’s for certain,’ Gabriel said, barring her way. ‘I’ll send for the carriage and see you safely home. Perhaps I could explain to Matt …’
‘No,’ Lily cried hotly. ‘You’ve done enough today, Gabriel. I don’t know whether to thank you or to blame you, but you must keep away from my brothers for your own sake if not mine.’
She ran from the room, racing headlong down the staircase with Gabriel following close on her heels. He caught up with her at the foot of the stairs and swung her round to face him. ‘I’m not letting you walk out into a snowstorm; it would be madness.’ He glanced down at her shabby boots, exposed as she held up her skirts to avoid tripping over them. ‘If I’d known what state your footwear was in I’d never have let you come this far.’ He pressed her down onto a hall chair. ‘Sit there and wait for me. I’m going to order the carriage and send Prissy to fetch your cloak.’ Giving her a stern look, he strode off towards the stairs leading down to the basement kitchen.