Circle of Desire (13 page)

Chapter Seventeen

O
livia told herself she didn’t care what he decided. But that was a lie. She wanted to live a little longer. She wanted to know what was between her and the man looking so intensely at her. He watched her every move, examining her every expression. Probably only fair since she couldn’t take her eyes off him.

“Why only men?” he asked.

“What? Isn’t it obvious?” She wished he would just tell her if he was sending her back.

For the last five months she’d been treated better than she’d ever remembered. She even felt safe for the first time in her life. But she knew deep inside he was sending her back.

Cold eyes betraying nothing, he looked at her as he would at any murderer. So what did it really matter what he thought of her? Maybe it was time for her to go back. At least her life was worth two of his operatives. That was a step up in her opinion.

She leaned back in the chair, looking at him with half-closed eyes. “Listen, I hate men. No, I’m not sexually interested in women. I already have a pussy. Why would I want another one? I put up with men for one reason only. Their cocks. Big throbbing ones. A real live hot, hard cock is ten times better than any synthetic one at satisfying my needs. I like playing with them and then leaving before they want more. Was that what you wanted to hear?”

The burning sensation in her stomach said it all. She hated this discussion. She hated that he couldn’t bring himself to care enough to protect her. Why she expected any man to protect her when she’d done it for herself all this time, she didn’t know. She just did.

“I think you’re telling me you hate men, hoping I’ll send you back. Then I would prove you’re right about your assessment.” He walked around the desk and stood in front of her. “But you also told me what you liked about men.”

The soft material of his sweats hid nothing. Her talk about hard cocks had excited him and she liked the view.

She pulled her gaze away from the impressive sight. “You have a bad habit of not answering my questions,” she said as she sat up straight, threw her shoulders back and chest out. Let him see the hard tips of her nipples through her shirt. Only fair.

“And your question was?” He leaned over her, clasped her upper arms, lifting her out of the chair. His strength excited her. Knowing he was one of the few men who could wrestle her to ground kicked up her heartbeat. She took a deep breath and inhaled his special aroma.

“Are you sending me back?” Deep inside, she guessed she wanted a no, needed him to tell her no, put her needs in front of others. Just once she wanted someone to care enough to protect her. Harping on it wouldn’t make it so, but she was tired of being alone and defending herself against all odds.

“Yes,” he said as he stared into her eyes.

She hit him. His head snapped back, rolling with the punch. He’d expected it. Clenching her other fist, she struck him again, sending his head into the other direction as she jerked up her knee. With a small sidestep, he ensured the most painful hit missed its mark. Her knuckles pounded with pain from connecting with his rock hard jaw. She grabbed his arm to throw him but he countered and they both landed on the floor. His body pressed on top of hers.

What had she truly expected? She’d just wanted him to be different. Just once she wanted someone to give a damn about her, to fight for her, not against her.

“Don’t cry,” he said as his thumb wiped a tear from her cheek.

The warmth running down her face felt so strange. She blinked.

Crying? She never cried.

Angry and hopeless. Feeling sorry for herself wouldn’t solve a damn thing. She hated feeling this way. This craziness running though her brain and making her so malleable around him drove her to believing in a future with him. What a crock.

It was just lust. He’d been playing with her for months. He never intended for her to stay. She was only a means to an end, insurance to regain what was taken from him. He offered himself like cheese to a rat and she’d never seen the trap. Lust had blinded her and the only way to see clearly was to take from him what she deserved. If she fucked him, she would be back to her old self: cold, unfeeling, methodical, and especially sane. As sane as a killer could be in this psycho world.

Clasping his head, her mouth covered his. She savored his heat, taste, all that made him Collin. His mouth softened as his tongue thrust inside hers. Electrifying darts of pleasure shot to her groin causing her to arch her back and press her hips to his hardness.

With one hand she pulled up his shirt, moving apart far enough to toss it to the side. Taking a deep breath, she yanked her shirt off to rub her breasts against his bare chest, loving the rough hair tickling her nipples. He hunched against her groin, stroking his cloth-covered hard penis into her soft folds.

Every inch of his body she touched was so lovely and hard. She wiggled her pants and thong down to her knees as they continued to kiss and then she kicked them off.

He hesitated.

“Please,” she begged.

She shoved at his sweatpants. Then she pulled them down with her toes until they reached his ankles. His mouth dropped to her breasts to suck at the tender nipples, she arched into his pull. Then he started to sink further down her body. She grabbed his shoulders and with surprising ease, urged him onto his back.

“I need to feel you inside me.” She worked to regain a speck of control. “If I’ve never told you, I can’t get pregnant. I had problems when I was younger . . . uh . . . never mind the details, the doctor said I was clean.” Not the most romantic words to tell a man, but she didn’t have time to waste. Maybe that was why he played with her and never followed through on their lovemaking. Condoms by no means played a part in their foreplay and none appeared to be sitting around now.

“Shut up,” he snapped.

Words after her own heart.

He pushed her back, hovering, with dark eyes flashing the amber she recognized as desire. Broad hands squeezed her thighs as his long fingers dug in, surely leaving bruises. She loved the idea of him marking her. Thoughts of his powerful body covering her, filling her, brought a frenzy feeling of need crashing around her.

His first thrust was so hard her back slid on the rug. She moaned as her eyes soaked up the emotions flickering across his face. Immense pleasure and yearning.

He pulled back and plunged again. He was big, solid, and filled her like she’d always imagined. She reached for a small male nipple and twisted.

“Damn! What was that for?” he asked next to her ear in his usual low voice. The pain didn’t slow him down. Actually, she believed he grew larger as his cock continued to drive into her, beating his groin against hers as if he couldn’t get deep enough. She liked it. Her fingernails gripped his buttocks, encouraging him to keep up the pace.

“I owed you,” she said, reminding him of his treatment of her during that first night.

He grunted with each downward slide. She was going to be sore in the morning. And she would savor every ache and pain. He felt so good, so much a man.

His thrusts became faster. He wouldn’t last much longer. To make sure she met his climax with one of her own, she rotated her hips, rubbing that certain spot of hers along his cock. She bit the side of her mouth, holding back her vocal release as Collin’s guttural moan echoed in the room.

The weight of his big body resting on hers was almost as satisfying as the sex. He shifted as if he wanted to move off her but she held on, squeezing him to her.

“Wait a minute.” She closed her eyes in pleasure, inhaling the scent of their lovemaking. Contentment weakened her muscles as she soaked in his heat. When he rolled over, he stayed inside her and kept her tight to his body.

A couple minutes or maybe a couple hours had passed when he rotated his hips. She’d been savoring the feel of his hot body and hadn’t wanted to move. He was as hard and big as before. She sighed and then grinned.

After taking a nibble of his shoulder, she whispered against his damp skin, “So you’re trying to impress me.” She kissed the side of his neck. His heartbeat picked up speed.

So he liked her tasting him.

“Try?” His hands cupped her buttocks and he sat up and then stood, holding her to his body.

Talk about impressed. She was no lightweight and he’d lifted her as if she weighed no more than her favorite sniper rifle. Not only impressed, but so turned on she whimpered. The muscles bulging across his chest and around his upper arms were a sight to behold. She wouldn’t be surprised if she flooded him with moisture along his groin and thighs. One thing was for certain, she wanted him moving inside her again.

He swiped papers, folders, and a lamp off his desk.

“Shh! Someone will interrupt our play.” She didn’t want Big Foot coming to his friend’s rescue.

“Soundproof” was all Collin had to say.

Good. Next time she climaxed, she could let go without worry.

When her bottom met the cool wood, he shoved her back until her shoulder blades warmed the surface. With her legs spread wide and Collin towering over her and filling her, she felt like a sacrifice waiting to be serviced by the pagan priest. Oh, she liked it. The man knew his business. She also liked how he stood above her all threatening with a hungry look on his handsome face.

His amber eyes remained on hers as he lifted her legs beneath his arms and pulled back until only the tip touched her, then he plunged in. Each thrust shook her body, her breasts quivered and ached, she wanted more, wanted him to slam harder into her. His gaze moved to her breasts. She cupped them, offering them as enticement for him to lose control.

He threw his head back, hammering into her as he gritted his teeth.

Her back bowed and she screamed as intense ripples flickered from her groin and outward. In turn, he released a long groan and gathered her into his arms, falling back into one of the overstuffed chairs in front of his desk. Her knees rested next to his hips. His heartbeat pumped so hard she felt it against her chest. His cock slid out with a rush of warmth. Weak and uncaring, she rested her cheek beneath his chin.

Was this what heaven was like?

What a crazy thought. She never equated sex and happiness together. Sex had been a way to satisfy an urge or calm her nerves after a job. With her ear pressed to his chest, she heard his heartbeat slow from the frantic pace to a steady thump.

How beautiful. She wanted to remember this moment forever.

She wished . . . oh, screw it! She knew better than to wish for anything. It would be better to wish for her mind to clear and not think of tomorrow or the next day, or whenever Collin planned to hand her over to The Circle and the man who controlled the organization with fear.

Only thing she knew for certain was that day she would most likely die.

Chapter Eighteen

T
he week passed by with the quickness of a lifetime.

Olivia waited each day for Collin to come and tell her he’d found a way to save the operatives without sacrificing her. Each day slipped away without her hearing a word.

With the news of how valuable she’d become to the OS and the possibility she could make a run for it, Collin changed the code on her door.

That hurt, but the icing on that crappy cake was when he sent four guards instead of her usual two each day to her apartment to escort her through her normal routine. They hated guarding her as much as she hated being guarded. Only this morning did she spot him at the end of the hallway speaking with Dr. Shelton and Nic Savage. He’d turned away without looking her way.

Bastard.

What did he think? That she would expect special treatment after he fucked her? Hell, yes. That was how it worked. She experienced the best sex she’d ever had and she wanted him to admit the same.

With a lift of her chin, she turned away and followed the wonderful scent of food down the hallway. For some wild-hair reason she’d decided to eat in the OS cafeteria this morning. Maybe she was hungry for more than the chef’s cooking and her own company. Maybe being in a room full of people and the guards sitting at another table, she could pretend she was waiting for a friend to show up. She looked around and noticed how everyone avoided her eyes.

What could they say to a dead woman? That was right. She was one of the walking dead. Time was short and death was a certainty when Collin sent her back to The Circle.

She was pitiful, sitting here pretending like she didn’t care. Isolation had never bothered her before, but during her months with the OS she’d felt like just another operative and not a creature to be feared. Christ! She’d become not only pitiful but maudlin too.

“Olivia.” The voice she’d wanted to hear again came from behind her. She turned and Collin held out a coat. “Time to leave.”

So that was it. No goodbye sex or long chat, not even a last meal.

She looked down at her clothes: jeans, sneakers, and long-sleeved green pullover shirt. The color brought out the green of her eyes. She shrugged on the wool coat as he helped her. His hands rested on her shoulders for a fraction of a second.

The desire to scream and kick while accusing him of misusing her almost reached the surface. Instead she swallowed the urge. The guards eyed her as if they expected her to explode any minute. The distaste on their faces pinpointed how they felt about her. Well, today she would act like a lady and ignore their sour looks. She breathed deep and followed Collin with her guards behind her.

An hour later, the limo bounced into a large field on the outskirts of Atlanta. A standard-issue white van used by The Circle waited, vapor pouring from the tailpipes.

During the ride, she’d watched the scenery pass without saying a word. What was there to say?
We had the best sex ever and I might love you?
No. It was only lust talking. There wasn’t enough time left to explore either possibility.

Four men stepped out of the side of the van. Two of the men in the middle supported each other, bruises colored their faces and blood stained their clothing.

Maybe if she lived long enough, she could find a way out of The Circle. There was a slight possibility Theo wasn’t aware of her complacency. Once he dropped his guard, she could escape and return to the OS. She blinked a few times to clear her vision. Collin had made her soft, dreaming of a normal life even within another killer organization. After taking a deep breath, she turned to the man across from her.

“Olivia—” Collin started.

“Don’t—” They spoke at the same time. Unlike others who would sheepishly laugh, they stared at each other until she spoke first. “Don’t let them see you. Theo’s people may try something. Killing you would be a big coup.”

“I’m surprised you haven’t tried it. It would get you in Theo’s good graces.”

Surprised? Her cheeks heated from the insult he’d dealt her. Had he really expected her to try to kill him after the time they shared? She would love to know what Collin really was thinking.

Nothing showed on his face. Lust and anger were the only emotions she’d seen anyway. The only problem with lust was its usefulness in trapping someone. Maybe he planned it to work like that. He’d trapped her and made her want to stay. Maybe her attempts to escape failed for that reason. He fascinated her in ways she couldn’t understand herself. Hell, she already planned to find a way to escape The Circle and return to him. If he would have her. If she lived long enough.

“I’d best warn you, if you betray Jason to The Circle, he’ll kill you before they can kill him.” Dark eyes stared steadily into hers. Who would’ve ever guessed amber eyes could be so cold?

Silence held reign until she lifted the handle, and the click of the door opening broke the spell.

“Well. Goodbye.” She waited for him to tell her he’d changed his mind.

Instead he looked at her without blinking an eye and said nothing.

Her short burst of laugher sounded cynical even to her. She had to hand it to him; he was consistent. “Well, okay then,” she said and pushed the limo door open.

“You’ll survive,” he said barely above a whisper.

She looked over her shoulder; her brows pulled together. When he didn’t say anything more, she stepped out and carefully closed the door. Survive? She’d been doing that most of her life, hoping she could make it from one day to the next without being killed. Only thing, hope was no longer in her vocabulary. What a horrible thing for him to say to her.

The cold swept over her. All the normal feelings she’d regained during her time with OS were gone. She was frozen solid like the unfeeling creature she’d been before but even more so. Now as the walking dead, she wondered, why would Collin ever deem her worth saving? Her love had never been wanted by anyone, especially him.

That last thought shook her. She really had become pitiful. Was this what love did to a person? Made her weak? She straightened her shoulders, preparing herself for the hell ahead.

As she walked by the men, they glared at her. Eyes and noses swollen, they were beaten and bloody, while she looked healthy and not a hair out of place. Oh, appearances could be so deceiving. Her soul had been stripped bare, leaving nothing inside. She lifted her chin and stepped into the van.

She gasped.

“Welcome back, Olivia.”

Theo sat in the cargo area of the van. The flat screen in front of him showed the limo. His face cast blue by light, showed no emotion. With his arms crossed, he appeared stern but not angry. Did that mean he wouldn’t kill her for now?

“Master.” She dipped her head toward him. Old habits were hard to shed. He required his women and a few of the men to call him master. Why only a few of the men? Olivia never asked and preferred not to know why. She was certain it would make her sick. She took a seat, facing the back of the van.

“Who brought you back? Collin? His side kick, Rex? It would give me great pleasure to kill them both.” He eyed her casual clothes. “I’m pleased to see they were smart enough not to mistreat you.”

Back straight, sitting tall in the seat, Theo could’ve been a king from olden times with his booming voice, proud bearing, and thick snow-white hair. His most outstanding feature was his piercing blue eyes. He’d made many operatives pee in their pants from fear by the power of those eyes alone.

“Some trusted lieutenant. I didn’t get his name. He’s not important.” She hoped he believed her.

Collin needed a little extra time to load up the wounded operatives and leave. She stuck her trembling hands into her pockets and stamped down the yearning to look one last time. Taking her eyes off Theo wouldn’t be healthy. Any interest she showed in the limo could easily mean their deaths and only an idiot would trust Theo.

“I’m surprised. Collin had always been an intelligent boy,” he said as doubt stretched out each word.

Without flinching or dropping his gaze, she silently waited for his assessment.

“You’ve changed in the months of your captivity. You’re not being impertinent. No snappy comebacks.”

Relieved but making sure not to show it, she took a calming breath. For some reason, Theo believed the OS’s story of her being held against her will. Of course, the truth would eventually catch up with her and then Theo would do what she expected. Kill her.

“I’m tired and just want to go home.” Then she remembered her home had been compromised by the OS. Face flushed by her unusual lapse of memory, she sighed. “Maybe I can stay at the Main Sector?”

“You’re always welcome to enjoy my hospitality.” His cold blue eyes narrowed. Had he misunderstood her request? His scouts had probably told him about her home being stripped by the OS.

Hunched over, he moved to sit with her and snapped his fingers at the driver. The van rattled and swayed as it returned to the asphalt and traveled down the interstate. Each second that passed, the tension in Olivia’s chest eased.

“I’ll have Marie prepare your old room,” he said.

Oh, God, that was the last thing she needed to contend with. Her stomach boiled with the thought of Theo touching her again. Think! How could she say no without pissing him off?

“You’re kind and so considerate to invite me to stay with you. But surely Marie would be hurt to see an old rival so near your private rooms.” Before he could deny any inconvenience, she added, “A. J. probably will need to debrief me and it’ll take some time. I’m sure she could find me a place to crash.”

Theo’s current enforcer, A. J., had been Olivia’s second in command until she’d given up the position to work in the field. They’d always gotten along, though never friends or confidants. Hopefully, the woman would be willing to help.

“You’re right. Marie can be rather possessive. I’ll make sure A. J. brings you back to me. Then we’ll have dinner together like old times.” He patted her knee, letting his hand stay.

Her stomach clenched, trying to keep down her breakfast. She blamed Collin for this. He had the power to save her and refused to help. Hell, he seduced her into staying.

Unable to withstand the two-hour drive to the Main Sector with Theo’s hand on her, she crossed her legs, forcing his hand off her knee. She held her breath, waiting for his explosion of temper.

He chuckled and crossed his arms. His uncharacteristic reaction scared her more than the yelling she’d expected. He’d said she acted unlike herself. It wasn’t anything compared to him. What game was he playing with her?

“C
ollin, you haven’t listened to a word I said.”

He looked over to Nic sitting in front of his desk with papers piled in her lap. They were going over the extra security measures put in place since Olivia left that morning and their continued efforts to find the sectors housing The Circle’s facilities.

“Yes. You were talking about how prudent I was in blindfolding Olivia whenever we approached or left the building. So our location should be safe for now,” he said in a monotone voice.

He stood and walked to the bookshelves and pressed a small lever beneath the center shelf. A section opened and inside the niche a large range of wine, whiskey, and tequila bottles and various shapes of glasses lined the shelves above a small sink.

“Want a whiskey? I know you like this one.” Holding the bottle of Jack Daniel’s by the neck, he poured a good-sized tumbler.

“I’ll pass. It’s barely past noon.” Nic came up beside him and placed her hand on his arm. “She got to you, didn’t she? Besides the body to die for, what do you see in a bitch like her?”

He shook his head. “I understand her. She’s a survivor.” In a well-practiced move, he tossed back the drink and exhaled before pouring another one. When Nic remained quiet, he added, “She’s the way she is because of how she was brought up and the things she’d gone through. Her life hasn’t been easy. We’re a lot alike.”

“I don’t know why you would say that. After your family was murdered, you had to start over from scratch while protecting over a hundred people from the crazy machinations of a mad man. But you still have a heart and soul. That woman has neither.” Brushing hair out of her eyes, she flushed and ruffled the short strands on the back of her head. “What do you plan to do about her?”

“That’s my business.” He nodded toward the stack of papers in her hand. “Did you find anything on the Main Sector?”

“We’ve narrowed it down to three places.” Pointing to the largest red mark on a satellite map, she cleared her throat. “Every location that woman gave us was deserted and dismantled. They didn’t even leave a paperclip. No evidence left to pinpoint where they went. She must’ve tipped them off.”

“Let’s stick to the facts.” There was no way for Olivia to warn Theo. He’d made sure of that. He thought she might have refused to give them the location of the Main Sector if any of the operatives’ children were housed there. Olivia would never endanger them.

“We should hear from our scouts by tomorrow morning. Once they locate the buildings, they’ll see if they can infiltrate and confirm.” Flipping through her pages, Nic jumped when Rex knocked before walking in and she promptly scattered sheets on the floor.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” He bent down to help pick them up.

“No . . . no . . . I’m just a little nervous about this mission.” Red faced, she snatched the papers from him, never looking into his eyes, and said to Collin, “I’ll check on the scouts and let you know what they’ve found so far.”

Collin nodded and sipped on the whiskey in his tumbler as he returned to his desk. Nic’s temper was well known and he found it interesting how she never raised her voice to Rex. It was obvious to everyone but Rex that Nic had a crush on him. But his friend still mourned Abby and no other woman existed for him. Collin understood. Though he didn’t love Olivia, he already missed her. She made him feel more alive than he had in years.

He halfway listened to Rex’s report on their attempt to follow the van. The look on Olivia’s face when he told her she would survive made his insides squirm. He’d struggled with finding the right words to erase the hopeless look on her face. Instead the training he’d received from his father had kicked in and those cold words escaped his lips. Certainly something his father would’ve said.